Chapter Text
Just this once, Lucifer decided to give up his freewill.
The mere thought had his heart dropping into his stomach while his lungs decided to branch out into his throat, making it impossible to scream. If he had been any less immortal he would have thrown up. Perhaps the sudden illness was due to Chloe’s presence.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
“He’s having a panic attack,” Ella said above him, and Lucifer inwardly scoffed. The Devil didn’t panic, and if he did then it was because the Detective infected him with something.
Lucifer just needed to stop thinking about freewill and his lack of it. God would only be using his body during the nights, he tried consoling himself. Time he would have spent sleeping would be used to save lives. Given the choice between letting people die and making a difference, Lucifer would choose the later. Even if free-
Lucifer slapped a hand over his mouth. Don’t think about it.
Your body is trying to tell you something. Linda’s voice of reason rang in his head. But Lucifer told his mental-Linda to shove it. Just because his body was trying to tell him something, didn’t mean it was right.
Right being Lucifer’s decision to give up on his freewill.
And there went his bourbon. It didn’t taste nearly as pleasant on the second pass, as it did going in.
“Ugh,” Lucifer grunted. The hands on his wings and the one rubbing circles over his back calmed him slightly. He spared a moment to stare mournfully at the mess before promptly pretending it wasn’t there. “Right well, as I was saying I’ve decided to not fight Dad over… this.”
Chloe and Ella didn’t appear as if they believed him. In fact, they shot him skeptical looks, and was that worry he spotted on their faces? Whatever for? It wasn’t like Lucifer just announced he was starting the Armageddon. Lucifer pushed on.
“Let’s just focus on that cover story, yes? Trying to understand what Dad is thinking is pointless anyway. Amenadiel can’t help. He thinks I’m doing this to myself.”
“Huh?” Ella said as Chloe mouthed, “What?”
“According to him, I’m the one who decided to regrow my wings. He thinks that subconsciously I want to be an Angel.” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “All a bunch of hogwash, if you ask me. Point still stands, Amenadiel is useless. Once he realizes that I’m right, and Dad is manipulating me, he’ll likely help the Bastard. Or he’ll rub it in my face that I’m not fighting Dad for once. So cover story?”
Chloe felt horrible for ever suggesting that saving lives was more important than Lucifer’s freedom. She knew how much he valued her opinion. How all she had to do was hint at an idea for Lucifer to change his entire tune. She knew (although she questioned) that just bringing up the greater good would lead Lucifer to self doubt, and Chloe did it anyway.
At least she had her answer now.
That subtle niggling that told her he was the Devil, finally silenced itself.
Someone who didn’t care about humanity wouldn’t agree to be God’s puppet. And they certainly wouldn’t have agreed to do something that went against their entire being just to save others. If Lucifer had been the Devil of lore, he would have put his own wants first. And he didn’t.
All at once, Chloe felt a thrill and dread race up her spine. A thrill because she held power over the Devil, but dread because that was a lot of responsibility and this wasn’t just Lucifer anymore. He was Lucifer the Devil, an Angel, an immortal, and for whatever reason he trusted her judgement.
Chloe looked up to study Lucifer. His wings were out, draping over his shoulders and around his chest like a child snuggled up in a warm blanket. He nodded along to whatever Ella was saying, his wings bobbing with the motion.
“How devious of you, Miss Lopez. Lucifer likes.”
“So it’s a plan then?” Ella asked.
“Yes,” Lucifer nodded. “Are we done now?” he looked so hopeful.
Chloe shook her head, getting back on topic. “No. Figuring out new ways to lie without actually lying isn’t all we needed to discuss. That fulfills your half, but what am I going to tell people when they ask me where you are?”
“Why would anyone ask that? I’ll be with you of course.”
“No, Lucifer. You’ll be out saving the world while I pretend to investigate the Angel.”
“Oh right,” Ella hummed. “People are going to start wondering where your partner is if he’s never around when you’re working on your case.”
Lucifer pouted, feathers puffing up like a grumpy cat. “I don’t have to sleep at night. I could sleep during the day so that we can pretend investigate - pretendigate? - during the nights like we have been doing.”
Chloe nodded. “That works. Now lets go over the cover story one last time.”
Lucifer groaned. Loudly. And Ella patted him on the wing. Honestly, he was worse than Trixie.
“Don’t you have a date to get ready for, Detective?”
“I have another hour before I need to leave,” Chloe rolled her eyes. “Now come on. What’s the plan?”
Lucifer huffed, voice pitched high in a horrible American accent. “ ‘What’s your latest on the Angel case?’ Pierce’ll ask. Then you’ll answer, ‘we’re working at it from a different angle.’ Hopefully, by then we’ll have arrested some poor sod for dressing like one of my siblings and you’ll say, ‘we’re making progress. I think we’re getting closer to discovering the cult that started this all-‘ “
“I do not sound like that.”
Lucifer raised a brow, continuing with his awful rendition. If possible, Lucifer’s version of Chloe’s voice sounded worse as he took on a California girl accent. “ ‘Lucifer’s actually very acknowledgeable about cults. He’s so amazing. He’s the best partner evaa.’ “
Ella guffawed, trying to smother her snickers and Chloe scowled at Lucifer who blinked at them innocently. His wings preened behind him. Showing just how proud he was of his impromptu skit.
“And what will you say if someone asks you if you’re an Angel?”
“I’ll tell them that I was sleeping at the time, and there are cameras at Lux that should show me leaving. Also if I were an Angel, then my partner would certainly know since she’s working on the Angel Case. I’ll leave all the actual lying to you.”
“And if they ask what we do at night?”
“Researching cults and arresting fake angels.”
“Don’t worry Chloe. Lucifer’s got this.”
And yeah, Lucifer seemed to understand what he needed to do and say, even if he wasn’t taking it seriously. Chloe couldn’t help but be worried though. If there was any weak link in their cover story it would be because of Lucifer’s inability to lie.
“Ok, but no more Devil talk,” Chloe said and Lucifer frowned. “I’m serious, Lucifer. If someone asks if you’re an Angel and you respond with something like, ‘well of course not, I’m the Devil,’ that’ll be bad for us.” When Lucifer looked like he wanted to argue, she added, “please?” And he crumbled.
“No more Devil talk.”
Power over the Devil, indeed.
“Thank you,” Chloe said and Lucifer gave her a grin but it was more of a grimace. “I mean it, and not just for this. Thank you for saving people.”
Confirmed: NY’s Angel Is Pakistan’s Angel, But Could He Also Be The Angel of San Bernardino?By RYAN SKEETER
The first recorded Angel sighting took place in San Bernardino, Los Angeles California. Like all the other times the Angel appeared, he saved people. That time, it was from a fire that completely consumed a church. Unlike other incidents however, no one got a good look at the Angel, but people claim that they saw the shadow of a man with wings.
Now, where have I drawn the conclusion that NY/Pakistan Angel could also be the Angel of San Bernardino? Well, the fire was frozen and resembles glowing stone. From the pictures I requested from LA’s local reporters, the petrified flames look very similar to the stone pillars that now support the World Trade Center.
Sound familiar? Look familiar? I thought so too. I have also done a bit of research onto the lore of Angels, and it looks like no two Angel’s ever share similar powers beyond the basics that include strength and flight.
This isn’t my only evidence however. I’ve also contacted our military and managed to use one of their satellites to map out where anything faster than a jet travels. From this, we were able to trace NY’s Angel to Pakistan, then to California where it looks like he settled in for the day. So yes, NY’s Angel is also Pakistan’s Angel and possibly, California’s Angel as well. In fact The City of Angels might not be so wrong a moniker after all.
Lucifer woke up somewhere above the Pacific Ocean. He faltered a bit, losing some altitude before he flapped his wings and steadied himself. There was nothing but ocean for miles. Why would his Dad wake him here? Couldn’t even return his body where he left it. He decided to just head back to Lux when he heard Chloe praying to him.
“Lucifer please. I need you. He…”
Chloe was crying and Lucifer saw red as he flew to LA and landed in front of Chloe’s home. He didn’t even bother to knock, just strode in, spotting Chloe cuddled up next to Beatrice on the couch, tear tracks on her face.
“What happened? Who do I torture?”
“It’s ok. I’m ok,” Chloe scrubbed at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you.”
“No, something happened. Who hurt you?”
“No one. It doesn’t matter.”
Lucifer snarled. Of course it mattered! Someone dared make his Detective cry, and she said it didn’t matter!? “Was it the Lieutenant?”
Chloe shook her head but Beatrice nodded, her eyes wide. Right, his wings. Too late now though.
“I’ll take care of him.” Lucifer spun on his heels, heading for the door but Chloe stopped him.
“Please just stay with me. He said I wasn’t worth it so he’s not worth your attention either,” it was a prayer. Silent to Beatrice’s ears.
Lucifer sighed, turning back to the couch. He hesitated, only sitting when Beatrice patted the empty cushion besides her.
“I like your wings,” she whispered.
“…Thank you?”
Beatrice grinned, but rather than reach out to touch one, she cuddled into her mother who started hiccuping. leaving Lucifer to awkwardly sit there and endure the silence and occasional sniffles. For once Lucifer wished he wore a suit to sleep, at least then he could offer a handkerchief.
Lucifer looked down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs and gripping the sweat pants Ella insisted he wear to bed. Wouldn’t want an Angel spot lighting in the nude, she argued. Perhaps he should take another page out of Ella’s book and make hot cocoa for the two Deckers? Lucifer was about to stand up but his wings seemed to have different ideas. One even wrapped itself over the cuddling duo, forcing Lucifer to scoot closer and join the cuddle fest.
“Thanks, Lucifer,” Chloe said, and ok. He guessed he could stay like this.
Dan tabbed out of his search screen when Pierce, the Goddamned Sinnerman, walked out of his office. Once the crime boss turned a corner, Dan made to go to the break room but slipped into Pierce’s office instead.
Barely believing that he even managed to get into the office without anyone noticing, Dan headed to the filing cabinet.
He wasn’t even sure what he was looking for, but figured he’d know when he saw it. If Chloe knew what he was up to, she’d have his head for this. It was such a harebrained scheme. The sort of thing Lucifer would do; breaking into a supervisor’s office.
At least Dan had a literal goddess on his side. If things went south, Charlotte would save him. Probably.
He shook his head. There were more important things to focus on. Dan went drawer by drawer, rifling through the folders and documents when he got to bottom drawer. It was locked. Damn it. He scanned the office one more time. Looking for any incriminating evidence, but it didn’t look much different than when Monroe used it.
“YOU!”
Dan jumped in his skin but quickly calmed down when he realized the shout wasn’t meant for him. It actually came from outside of the office.
“How dare you! Why did you do it!?” That was Lucifer. Dan nudged the door open, peaking into the bullpen. Fortunately, Pierce’s back was turned toward the office, and only Lucifer saw that Dan was in the office and didn’t seem to care as the Devil glared Pierce down.
Pierce scoffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, you don’t? How fortunate that you have amnesia,” Lucifer said silkily, his voice leaking venom. “Why don’t I remind you.” His fist flew and people shouted. Dan was sure Pierce would have went flying if Lucifer hadn’t caught him by the shirt first. “Do you remember now?”
Pierce lifted up a hand, giving everyone the silent order to stand down. “I deserved that,” he said.
“Excellent, so you do remember.”
“Why don’t we discuss this elsewhere?” Pierce motioned toward his office, and Dan silent swore, meeting Lucifer’s eyes. Surprisingly the Devil didn’t call him out, and even jerked his head, telling him to move.
“If you insist,” Lucifer turned back to Pierce, shaking him up for good measure, before bodily hauling the Sinnerman into the office Dan just vacated.
Was the Devil having trouble with one of his subordinates? Dan wondered. Out loud he said, “what was that all about?”
“I don’t know, but I’ve never seen Lucifer that upset before,” Ella said, before turning her attention toward Chloe. “Hey Decker, do you know what’s up with Lu?”
But Chloe groaned, hiding her face in her hands and oddly mirrored Dan’s go to position whenever he thought about the Devil and the Sinnerman.
“Don’t ask. You don’t want to know,” Chloe grumbled as she picked up her head and made her slow way to the office. Took a breath, then walked in. A minute later, she walked back out, dragging the Devil behind her. “I can’t believe you did that! I told you no, Lucifer!” she yelled. At the Devil.
Dan hoped he wasn’t about to witness his ex-wife get murdered by the Devil.
“But he made you cry- OW!” Chloe kicked Lucifer in the shin.
Was Chloe a goddess too? Dan gaped at the sight of Lucifer hoping around on one leg, trying to rub his abused shin. The other cops laughed at Lucifer’s familiar antics, but Dan couldn’t help but remember all the other times Chloe managed to tame the Devil. God, she even managed to get an apology out of Satan. If only the other cops knew.
Dan really screwed up with that one.
“Move Espinoza,” the gruff voice of the Lieutenant said from behind him.
“Oh, sorry,” Dan stepped away from the door, suddenly not so nervous to be standing near the Sinnerman when Chloe was only a couple yards away.
“Hn,” Pierce grunted as he locked the door and headed for the elevator, a backpack slung over his shoulder. He was going home!
Now was Dan’s chance! He just needed keys.
Or Lucifer.
Newly acquired confidence in Chloe’s ability to keep Lucifer relatively docile, Dan approached.
“Hey Chloe, I was wondering if I could borrow Lucifer for a bit.”
“Why are you asking me/her?” Chloe and Lucifer said together. But Lucifer added, “I don’t mind helping, Daniel” He gave Dan a positively gleeful look and waved Chloe off.
“Great, I was hoping you wouldn’t tell anyone what I need help with either…”
“Not to worry,” Lucifer mimed zipping his lips. “I believe I know what you want anyway and I fully approve.”
“You do?”
“Oh yes. You want to break into C- Pierce’s office right?”
“… Yes.”
“Then this works out for both of us,” Lucifer said. Both of them stopped in front of the locked office and Lucifer looked both ways, waiting until none of the other cops were looking their way before slipping in. Once inside, Lucifer headed straight for Pierce’s desk and placed a pin on his chair.
Ok, so the Devil was pranking the Sinnerman…
Turning away from Lucifer rearranging the desk drawers, Dan headed back to the filing cabinet. But could only go through each drawer so many times, before the locked bottom drawer began calling to him.
“Um, could you open this for me?”
“Try it again, Daniel. If you give it a good tug I’m sure it’ll open,” Lucifer said dismissively and Dan would have argued if he didn’t know Lucifer was the actual Devil. Instead he huffed, giving it a good yank and it opened. Another thing Dan would have to note. Apparently Lucifer didn’t need to touch locks to open them. Good to know.
“Huh, how did I do that?” Dan asked out loud because he didn’t want Lucifer even suspecting that Dan might know his true nature.
“Sometimes locks just need a good jiggle,” Lucifer said, and Dan looked up to see Lucifer drawing dick pics on Pierce’s desk with a sharpie. Devil fucking giggled when he finished his masterpiece.
“You are going to be in so much trouble,” Dan said.
“And yet you aren’t stopping me.”
“Could I stop you?” Dan mumbled.
“What was that?”
“Nothing. Just do whatever you’re doing,” Dan turned back to the bottom drawer and immediately wondered what exactly he’d found. Unlike the other four drawers, this one wasn’t packed full and held several folders that were tagged Lucifer, Amenadiel, Charlotte, Mazikeen, Chloe, and one other name that Dan didn’t recognize.
“What are you looking for?” Lucifer asked, suddenly by Dan and peering over his shoulder. “Is that a folder on me?” Lucifer laughed, he didn’t seem to notice Dan’s flinch when he reached over and plucked it up. “Narcissistic, hedonistic, reckless. He forgot devilish. Why, this is barely longer than my fingernail! I thought Ca- Pierce said my file was as long as his Johnson. I knew he was small, but not that small.”
Dan snorted. “I remember that conversation.” He took the offered folder and flipped through it himself. If Lucifer didn’t want him looking at it, he wouldn’t have given it back. But frowned because a lot of the pages was what Dan had collected about Lucifer when he first started working with Chloe. The last page however, mentioned immortality and Chloe being Lucifer’s weakness. So Pierce knew about the whole supernatural thing. Dan placed the folder at the front then took out Chloe’s.
Chloe’s folder contained more information than Lucifer’s. Everything from Chloe’s eye color to the best way of getting in her good graces was on the documents. Even Lucifer was mentioned throughout with examples of time’s Lucifer had been injured while in Chloe’s presence.
The printer started up, the noise startling Dan. “Man, what are you doing?”
Lucifer cackled, “nothing good I assure you,” and Dan flinched, because hello Devil! But as Lucifer collected the papers being printed, Dan saw that they all had ‘Marcus Suck This!’ printed at the top where the header would be, and at the footer was tiny dick pics. When a good twenty pages were printed, Lucifer took out the paper tray and started inserting his printed pages between the blank pages.
Oh boy, that wasn’t going to end well. Especially if Pierce didn’t realize what was on the papers when he gave passed some documents out.
Dan shrugged, he couldn’t bring himself to care. The Sinnerman deserved it.
“Damn it,” Lucifer huffed and Dan flinched again. “You wouldn’t know which way the paper would have to be inserted to be printed on the right side would you?”
“Upside down. Footer toward you.”
“Excellent,” Lucifer said, flipping the stack over. “Well I’m done here unless you have any ideas.”
“Uh no, I don’t.”
“Shame, I’ll just be going then. Lock up after yourself, would you?” Lucifer sauntered out and Dan sighed in relief. He survived that encounter. Honestly it wasn’t that different than their usual interactions. If anything they were less hostile toward each other.
Debating his friendship not-frienship with the Devil, Dan took pictures on all of the files on the bottom drawer.