Chapter Text
⊷ ⊷ ⊷
The smell of sandalwood slowly brings Viktor back to reality. It’s Yuuri’s perfume.
He’d been dreaming, a good dream he doesn’t even remember but his head provides that it’s a good dream, because Yuuri is lying next to him, Viktor is sure there is no way his dreams could be bad. Finally, he doesn’t want to wake up because his dreams are so good, yet he doesn’t want to fall back asleep because real life is even better.
Viktor smiles at the cuddled up figure of Yuuri Katsuki. Sometime in the night, they had broken off the spooning, and Yuuri lay snuggled in his blankets facing Viktor, his injured shoulder blocking him from completely turning.
Viktor press a soft kiss on Yuuri’s forehead. His lips meet the long grown silky black hair instead of his skin and Viktor makes a mental note to take him to the saloon. Getting up from the bed, he is hit with the smell and sounds coming from the kitchen.
‘Should be Chris.’
Viktor spends his morning routine in the bathroom trusting Chris to not burn the kitchen. But as he steps in there, whistling his favorite love song, Chris is sitting on the bar stools watching Pittchit work.
“Good morning.”
Viktor greets both of them together.
“You sound happier than usual.” Chris comments instead of greeting back.
“That’s because I am.” Viktor says truthfully. Chris and Pittchit exchanges a glance but says nothing.
“Yuuri’s still asleep, what are you making?”
“Pancakes, Yuuri approved-Pittchit style-dorm room favorite-pancakes. Yuuri loves these.” Pittchit chirps. Viktor stretches his hand to the plate but Pittchit stops it with his spoon. “Not until all are done. Otherwise none will be left for Yuuri, these are that good.”
“Yes sir.” Viktor stands up and walks to the coffee pot before he pulls a writing pad from a locker and put it in front of Pittchit to write the recipe. If Yuuri loves these, then he needs to learn to make them. He starts making-a-coffee process from the beginning, grinding fresh coffee beans and boiling fresh water, resuming the whistling of his favorite love song all the way. His memories fly away from the smell and sound of Pittchit making pancakes to the memories of last night, specifically to how Yuuri’s lips felt. How vulnerable he looked when he said the most beautiful words Viktor’s ever heard in his life. When he turns back with a fresh mug of coffee, he finds Chris and Pittchit standing within inches to him. With smug looks, they look like they are about to rob him.
“Viktor, you didn’t even realise we were standing right behind you.” Chris accuses.
“You didn’t even realize that I stopped frying the pan cakes.” Pittchit joins in.
“Uh…” Viktor takes a step back.
Chris takes a step forward and starts looking like Nikolai’s detective version.
“You look different.” He says.
“I agree.” Pittchit says.
Viktor knows why. He is so happy it is manifesting on him physically.
“What happened last night?”
“Something important.” Viktor says upping the suspension and leaning on the wall behind him, like the epic keeper of the universe’s greatest secret.
“I’m sure the doctors advised against…”
Viktor doesn’t even let him finish. "Oh god, Chris…”
“What’s happening?” All three of them turn to see Yuuri leaning on his clutch, standing at the kitchen with his sleep muddled hair and wiping his sleepy eyes, all cute and curious at why Chris and Pittchit are cornering Viktor.
“Are those pancakes? Pittchit, are those your pancakes?” he says sniffing like a cat.
“You need help with the bathroom right?’ Viktor says walking over to him, his fresh coffee forgotten on the counter. Yuuri starts to say ‘no’ but Viktor leans in to greet Yuuri with a soft kiss, right on the lips, a little too longer and deeper than needed for a morning greeting. Yuuri’s eyes roam from Pittchit to Chris to Pittchit over Viktor’s shoulder. As they make their way back to the bathroom, with Viktor helping Yuuri who can perfectly walk by himself using his clutch, they hear their friends banter.
“I told you.”
“Yes, you did.”
“I won the bet.”
“Yes you did.”
“I need my money!”
⊷ ⊷ ⊷
Viktor and Yuuri stands watching the car that takes their friends to the airport disappear out the furthest corner of the road, until the snow fall disappears the tire tracks.
“I miss them already.” Yuuri says. The morning had been endless teasing and suggestions about their future together. Chris and Pittchit proved themselves to be the worst teaser for the new lovers.
“Me too, but we need to get back to work. Starting with a haircut to you, my love.”
Yuuri looks at him. Viktor sits on the porch relaxed, his long legs goes down the few steps and he invites Yuuri to sit next to him. As Yuuri try to sit, Viktor grips his hips and helps him lower smoothly, his hand goes around Yuuri’s shoulder and they huddle close with no gaps between them.
“Yuuri can you promise me one thing my love?”
Yuuri looks at him. He loves when Viktor calls him my love, but Viktor looks vulnerable and serious. They just acknowledged their love last night. This is going to be their first promise as lovers.
“Depends, I need to hear it first.” Yuuri counters suspiciously, too aware of the guilt that surrounds Viktor, he doesn’t want to promise something deprecating to Viktor.
Viktor smiles.
“It’s just that… I’ve been told how obnoxious and oblivious to others I could be. I don't deny it. It’s like, they are the walls I’ve built to safeguard myself, from people who are quick to make judgement based on my Viktor-the-star persona. I didn’t care about those comments until now. But I’m afraid I will carry those habits in to our relationship. I want you to be honest with me, and remind me if I do that. And tell me if you ever feel tired of me. Yuuri, please will you do that for me?”
Yuuri smacks a surprising kiss to Viktor’s cheek and it unloads half the weight off from Viktor’s chest.
“Viktor, we have been ourselves all these times. The only difference is that we acknowledged the love we carried for each other. It was always there. We don’t have to change anything now.”
“I know but, everything feels different and similar at the same time.” Viktor says. Because nothing has changed between them, they have been in love with each other all the time. Yet, Viktor feels everything too much now, the smells of the coffee, the beauty of the cold snow, Yuuri’s warmth, his pain, his effort to walk, his one-handed struggle to do everything from combing his hair to eating to bathroom activities.
“Viktor.” Yuuri shrugs him off from his thoughts. “We’ll just be us and everything is going to be fine. We’ll make sure of that.”
“How is it that I am the one worrying now, it’s usually you?” Viktor jokes. He was the confident one. But now he has the most valuable thing in the world with him; Yuuri’s open love, he has vested himself with the power to protect him at all costs, he is determined to give the best and only the best to Yuuri, to unearth and bless the world with the beauty and power that Yuuri is hiding, Viktor is all of a sudden feeling a little too tight and fragile.
“There is too much love around us to worry about anything else is why.” Yuuri says and Viktor realizes the truth in it. Yuuri went through hell and came back alive to tell Viktor he loved him, there is no way they could mess up ‘them’.
He smiles and leans in. Yuuri meets him half way and they share their love seeping out in to each other through their lips. Viktor’s fingers comb through Yuuri’s long uncut black locks and holds them close, their foreheads together.
“I love you my Yuuri.” Viktor says when they finally pull apart.
“I love you too my Vitya.”
⊷ ⊷ ⊷
It was time for planning.
Viktor makes about ten calls to confirm appointments and they download a couple organizer app and saves their tasks all the way to the next world championship. Until the exact dates are issued by the ISU, they rely on assumptions, but everything feels in perspective for them.
After the brunch, they make a stop at the saloon. Viktor’s stylist make sure they get the maximum privacy until both of them get good shaves and haircuts. After lunch at Viktor’s family home, upon the request of their maid Sylvia, who has cooked for Yuuri with his nutrition needs and her grand ma’s recipes in mind, Yuuri gets this dire need to just fall asleep. His fatigue is to be expected as doctors say for at least another month. So Viktor leaves him and Makka there until he meets with his musician.
When Viktor comes back, he hear Yuuri and Makka’s sounds coming from the back porch. Makka definitely must have dragged Yuuri out to play. Victor has just turned his steps to go there when Yuuri’s phone pings from the coffee table. He takes it to check, it could be a reply confirming the appointment with the physiotherapist. Yuuri’s phone responds to Viktor’s fingerprint as usual, and an off line search result stares at Viktor. It’s a search result about a degree program on psychology – from a Japanese University, they have sent a course brochure. Viktor’s chest hurts a little. ‘Is Yuuri changing the plans? ‘
He does remember that when they filled up the organizer for the year, Yuuri’s tasks has been nothing but doctor appointments and check-ups. Viktor felt Yuuri’s emptiness even then, the look of deep thoughts in Yuuri’s face, like he realized something all of a sudden. He should be practicing his programs for the world championship if Viktor’s past didn’t haunt Yuuri. So if Yuuri wants to go back to Japan, at least until he gets better while he can be with his family, Viktor should be happy for him, right? He asks himself. But a little disappointment attacks him. He takes the phone to Yuuri. ‘Whatever that makes Yuuri happy.’
Yuuri’s welcoming smile and the kiss makes Viktor’s heart ache a real pain. He cannot imagine living apart from him.
“Did it go well?” Yuuri asks him after a welcome kiss.
“Yeah, he started working on it.”
“That’s good, is everything okay?”
Oh god, He’d been giving away his mood.
“Your phone.” Viktor says giving the phone back to Yuuri. “You planning to go back to Japan?”
Yuuri looks down at his phone, reads the message and then looks back at Viktor, brown eyes wide.
“Did you…?”
“Read? Yeah, sorry. I kind of saw it.” Viktor says sitting down on the bench as Makka jumps on to him and make his lap her bench as he decides to lie by the name of love. “It’s okay Yuuri, if you want to pursue studies in Japan, among your family and away from…Mafia. You could practice in the Ice castle. And if you allow me, I could…”
“No, I mean did you think I was thinking of going to Japan?”
Viktor looks up from Makka.
“I would never leave here unless you don’t want me around.” Yuuri explains, leaning on to his crutch.
“Don’t want you around? I’m afraid that’s not possible.” Viktor says looking visibly relieved.
“Anyways, I do want to pursue psychology.” Yuuri says sitting down next to him.
“I’m listening.”
“Okay, I know you don’t particularly like Dr. Denise but I spoke with him about this, at length.”
“Yuuri, I don’t ‘don’t like the guy, he’s a good person, I just thought he was gonna steal you from me!”
Yuuri bursts out laughing. “He had the worst crush on you until you squeezed his hand to porridge on that corridor.”
“He told you that? I guess apologies should be on way.” Viktor says embarrassed, shouldn’t have done that to the good doctor.
“Anyways, I only searched some Japanese institutions so it would be easy for me to compare their syllabus before I made a conclusion. I’ve already selected a university here in Saint Petersburg that deliver the MA in English, with the help of Denise. He kind of spoke to them on behalf of me. I will need to complete minimum courses to apply though; Abnormal Psychology, Developmental Psychology and also some liberal Arts coursework. I could complete them as a non-matriculating student and complete the courses on campus before applying to the MA.
“MA?”
“Yeah, most of the credits needed comes from my Bachelors, others I will complete before applying. I can complete the program part time in three years, if my training gets in the way, they are willing to let me extend it considering my athletic record. I will need to register before July If that’s the path I want to take. I just wanted to speak with you before I make a final decision.”
“Yuuri, don’t let anything stop you if that’s what you want to do in your life. Not even me.” Viktor says. “I’m going to admit, I worried in the morning filling up our calendar because it was full of doctor appointments. I thought you’d be worried too. I can’t tell you how proud I am about the way you are tackling this”
“Thank Vitya.”
Viktor smiles at how easily the diminutive falls from Yuuri’s lips. “I never got to University Yuuri, somehow I feel I lack something in my life because of that. So I want you to excel in both. Yuuri, when you start training, we’ll arrange them to accommodate your scholarly work.”
Yuuri nods, entirely and too happy.
“So say, you finish it in four years or three years, what happens afterwards. And what exactly do you want to pursue after your MA? Are you going to be a smart doctor like Denise? Will you meet beautiful victims like you? Should I be concerned?”
“Knock it off Vitya,” Yuuri laughs. “I want to do Forensic psychology. So probably only people I’ll be meeting will be murderers and psychopaths.”
“Legal system?”
“Yeah?"
“You are still worried about Dimitri, right? That’s your motivation for this?”
“I hope you don’t mind, but yes it is. Imagine Denise wasn’t around. How will this end for me and Dimitri?”
“I understand, Yuuri. I do. I just…” Viktor sighs, he cannot take Yuuri’s injured form in that shack coming to his mind again and again. “Just be careful. Okay?”
“You know I will.” Yuuri agrees. "Besides, I've got you."
Viktor hums satisfied, and strokes Makka’s fur and Yuuri’s hands join in the efforts. Makkachin closes her eyes and submerge herself in the eternal bliss like a proper dog who loves cuddles.
“Um…Viktor.”
“Yes babe.” Viktor turns to see Yuuri frozen in place. “What is it?” His fingers find Yuuri’s under Makka’s fur and teases.
Yuuri brings his hand up and rubs his forehead, his lips quivers.
“Yuuri, is there anything bothering you?” Viktor asks worried.
“Sorry, you called me babe and I forgot what I was going to say.”
Viktor laughs loudly, the gardener working on the far corner gives them a glance. “I thought I’m the one forgetting things. Babe.”
Yuuri just shakes his head, he is going to have to get used to this new normal. He is blushing red when Viktor's father approaches them.
“Mr. Katsuki.” Viktor's father says amused. “Are you alright.”
“Just Yuuri…is enough.” Yuuri says managing a smile and adjusting the skewed glasses on his nose. "And I'm alright. Thank you."
Viktor's father stands up in front of them like a tower. “So since it’s nearing evening, maybe you two could spend the night here.”
“Papa, I’ve bothered you enough already-“
“I insist.”
Viktor looks at Yuuri for his decision.
“I’m okay here.” He says without hesitation. Any moment Viktor and his father could stay together, Yuuri would allow no matter what. Besides, they are already planted in both sides fine, their clothes and belongings split between Viktor’s family home and his own.
“Okay then, it’s settled. I’ll tell Sylvie. The snow is melting. It’s going to be a fine evening.” Papa Boris confirms.
Viktor for a moment seems to have engaged in his own thoughts when Yuuri looks at him.
“A penny for a thought? Or is it a ruble for a thought?” Yuuri asks.
“Let’s go and meet mom?” Viktor asks suddenly. His face looks a bit sad, but is also brimming with anticipation. Yuuri nods, wishing it was under different circumstances, in which she was actually alive.
After the evening tea, they set out to the graveyard. The tombstones look like candles on an icing cake, standing visible barely over the melting snow. Viktor assists Yuuri over the paved path, until they stop in front of a tomb stone that depicted an angel, her kind eyes staring down, and her hands lying on her chest but she looks like she is smiling- a happy angel in a sad graveyard, but if one asked Yuuri’s opinion, he would say the angel looked ‘bad-ass’.
Viktor crouches down to places the single rose they brought, on the snow. The red of the rose bleeds contrasting to the snow, as if in a protest to say that the person lying here dis not deserved to die. He stands up next to Yuuri, his hand goes around Yuuri’s waist to hug him close.
“Mama, this is Yuuri.” Viktor speaks slowly and quietly. Yuuri almost can’t take the nervous tone in Viktor’s voice, as if he is really introducing his boyfriend to a living mama. But as he speak on, Yuuri realizes its grief, because Viktor’s tears falls freely.
“You said, only light can drive out darkness, well, I found my light mama. He made sure the darkness is gone. You’d be proud of both of us if you were here.”
Yuuri listens silently. He doesn’t know the pain of losing a mother, but it is unnerving to even think about that. Viktor had been very close to his mother for fifteen years, to lose her when he is reaching maturity, an age a child must have the guidance of his mother must have been devastating. Yuuri feels proud that through all that, Viktor has emerged victorious.
They spends another minute in the cold before Yuuri’s single foot standing starts to complain and Viktor registers that even before Yuuri himself. As they start to walk back towards the exit in the narrow path, through the tomb stones that are mostly covered in snow. Yuuri feels a wind blow past him, and he feels he has something to say. He stops and turns as Viktor continues walking. His intuition calls him for a promise.
“I love him.” Yuuri assure to Mama’s grave quietly. “And I’ll be there for him no matter what. Don’t you worry at all.”
⊷ ⊷ ⊷
When they return, the back yard is lit. There is a wooden patio facing the spacious backyard and a fire is lit in the open fireplace. Surrounding it, in the benches, Papa Boris and Dino are already sat, listening to the emotions that sing through the guitar chords, played by their gardener.
When Viktor and Yuuri enter, Papa stands up to greet them, smooching their cheeks the Russian way. Sylvie arrives with food. The guards, the driver and two more men Yuuri doesn’t recognize arrive to sit around the fire place. From their faces, that nevertheless smiles, Yuuri has no doubt they have guns sitting inside their coats. They come to Viktor and speaks in Russians, turns to Yuuri and speaks in English. Congratulations for his recovery and promises of safety, embarrassing stories of Viktor and Dino’s childhood are thrown back and forth. Yuuri realizes that these people are the most trustworthy men and woman of papa Boris, they have been there when Viktor was a child, they are here even now. But not once comes the topic of Vlad or Dimitri. Yuuri has no doubt those names will ruin the light mood in the atmosphere. On the other hand, Yuuri is relieved to not talk about what happened for once.
Yuuri is sitting between Viktor and Dino. When the warmth arrive in the form of bottles, Yuuri recoils visibly and Viktor laughs.
“Brings back memories?” he asks.
“Uh…yeah.” Yuuri agrees.
“Don’t worry, you shouldn’t take alcohol on top of all the medications you are getting.”
Dino peers in to their conversation just then, “Papa seem to break his fast.” He comments.
“After Vlad tried to hurt Dino and me, papa never consumed serious alcohol, because he always needed to be on alert about danger. He confined to occasional wine and simple drinks but nothing serious. Now that Vlad is gone, he seem to break that habit.” Viktor explains. Yuuri looks at papa Boris who is singing to the guitar in a light voice, sipping a glass of vodka. He seems to enjoy the music, his eyes closes from time to time as a sad music is played on the guitar. It pulls at Yuuri’s heart, for he has no doubt Who Viktor’s father is thinking of, for whom the sad music is for.
The guard brings in an accordion and the guitarist gardener stops to have his own sip of Vodka when it ends. After that, the tempo of the music changes. It’s fast pace, fun, like the banter between lovers. It seems to represent the rising beat of the men who are getting drunk with every sip. Soon the patio becomes a dance floor. Yuuri’s legs itches, the music is so good, up-tempo and lively. He would be dancing his legs off if he could. Viktor steps his legs to the beat sipping up the Vodka in his own hands, watching the ridiculous display of the men in the dance floor who are falling on top of one another seeking Sylvie’s hand; the only woman there.
Papa Boris joins the dance too, so is Dino. As Yuuri look to Viktor, he smiles at him, his hand loops around Yuuri’s waist and Viktor drags himself to sit with Yuuri. He places a soft peck on Yuuri’s forehead and despite the warmth from the fire place, Yuuri shudders. He could feel Viktor’s love, so palpable in the fine evening, in the still lingering feeling of that chaste kiss on his forehead, in the blues eyes that peer in to him right now. There is so much written in them, Yuuri could read the happiness, the relief in them. But there is so much more…
“Are you okay with this Yuuri?”
“More than okay Viktor, this is a great change. In fact, I love this.”
Viktor’s eyes still peer in to him, Yuuri could feel them on him, and cannot ignore it anymore.
“Viktor, out with it, what is it?”
Viktor, with his long slender fingers, pushes back Yuuri’s hair that had fallen on his forehead, he is so close Yuuri could feel Viktor’s breath on his face.
“You’re so beautiful. Do you know that my Yuuri?”
The light from the fire casts a shadow on Viktor’s handsome face, rays of light sneaks through the silver strands of hair that falls on to his face as his blues irises stare in to Yuuri in pure admiration.
“So are you.” Yuuri all but manage to murmur through his beating heart, he is surprised it came out audible at all when all his lips want to do is feel Viktor. Viktor, who is too close now, the tip of his nose tracing patterns on Yuuri’s pinked cheek, breathing him in. The music and the sounds of the dancing steps fade in to the back ground as they connect.
By the time they are relieved of the sweet tension, they are panting for breath. Their foreheads pressed, both Yuuri and Viktor smiles at each other.
“Like a starved man, I’ve been waiting for moments like this my Yuuri.” Viktor reveals. “Thank you.”
“I can very safely say I’ve been starved for far longer than you have.” Yuuri grins.
“I’m not so sure Yuuri, maybe I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”
Their banter is broken when someone closes in on Yuuri with a thud. When they turn around to see, papa Boris, visibly drunk, is knelt in front of Yuuri, trying to balance himself on one knee and almost failing.
“Mr. Katsuki, would you please excuse me and lend me your boyfriend. He’s on speaking terms with me after a very long time and I’d like to dance with him!” he pleads in all his drunk glory, although he can barely lift his head up to meet Yuuri, still the thick Russian accent English is pouring out of him.
“Papa, you’re having a drink after a long time, maybe you should stop.”
But Viktor’s father has no ears for him. “Please Mr. Katsuki, I would like a dance with your boyfriend.”
Yuuri laughs as Viktor rolls his eyes and release Yuuri from him. His father takes his hand gracefully sways as Viktor standup.
“This is humiliating.” Viktor murmurs under his breath, but all too happy for the interaction Yuuri has no doubt.
Viktor and his father’s dance is a little dancing and a more Viktor trying to keep his father up right. After a little bit of a struggle, Yuuri could see them settling to a comfortable position as the music change again to a lento. Viktor’s father rests both his arms on Viktor’s shoulders, and Viktor grabs his father from his arms, his hip, his shirt and anywhere he allows from time to time, to help him keep standing up.
It’s almost comical, to see Viktor’s struggle and his father’s pure indulgence in his son. Yuuri reminds himself that the father and son are connecting after a long time. And his smile subsides when he see papa Boris smiling at Viktor and caressing his cheek, pinching it, probably imagining in his drunk mind that Viktor is still twelve years old or less. In the dimmed patio, moonlight glowing on them, Yuuri could see the glistening in Viktor’s eyes.
Tears.
In another moment, Yuuri would run to him to know why, to wipe those tears away. But here, in this moment, he smiles to himself, for Viktor isn’t crying, he is shedding a layer of melancholy that crippled him for a long time, and as if to prove his point a small smile decorates Viktor’s lips too.