Chapter Text
When Hoseok entered his home, he saw his family gathered together in the dining room.
“Hoseok-ah!” Mrs. Jung cried, as she ran forward to hug Hoseok. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you soaking wet?”
“Hoseok-ah, what happened?” Mr. Jung asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
The dam broke. Hoseok fell to his knees and began bawling.
“I… I wasn’t able to save him either.” Hoseok said, his voice just air as he struggled to get the words out. “And-and n-nw he’s gone, just-just like the rest of them!”
“What do you mean? What’re you talking about?” Mrs. Jung asked.
“It’s Jungkookie, isn’t it?” Dawon asked darkly.
Hoseok managed to nodd.
“My poor child… Why did all of your friends leave you so early?” Mrs. Jung said, as she hugged Hoseok.
☵☰☵
A funeral was held for Jungkook. Hoseok had sat through it with his head down and then went to give his respects to Jungkook’s family. Dawon sat beside Hoseok the whole time, holding his hand to comfort him.
Then, Hoseok and his family drove back later that night, while Hoseok couldn’t believe what had just happened and what he had seen. All that had happened these past few months…
He nearly died on a boat, lost three of his friends and then the other four, through pain and trauma, left him, too.
And here he was. The last one of the group. Alone.
His family did their best to comfort him. They knew that he was going through a hard time and they felt bad for him. Hell, everyone did. And no one could say that they related to him or knew what he was going through because… no one did. He really was alone.
☵☰☵
It was late at night, nearly midnight, when Hoseok barged out of his bedroom and grabbed the car keys. Dawon and his parents were in the kitchen, watching him.
Dawon walked over and crossed her arms, eyeing him as he put his shoes on.
“Where do you think you’re going? Especially at this hour?” Dawon asked, sternly, grabbing his arm.
“Out.” Hoseok tried to pull his arm free. “Let me go.
“No. Where are you going?”
“Nowhere, just drop it."
“No, I won’t drop it. Stop it. You’re not going anywhere.”
“I said let me go!” Hoseok screamed and pushed Dawon to the ground.
He stood in horror, watching as Dawon struggled to sit up. “Noona! I’m so sorry!”
“Hoseok-ah,” Dawon said, eyeing him with a dark and demanding look, “I’ll ask one more time. Why do you have my car keys? Where are you going? And what are you going to do?”
Hoseok huffed. “It’s none of your business-”
“Hoseok-ah! Stop!” Dawon screamed, as she ran forward and hugged him.
“Noona… you don’t understand. I could’ve saved them! I could’ve saved Seokjin-hyung, Yoongi-hyung and Jungkook! If I had been there for them like I said I would, then maybe they’d still be here! I could’ve saved them! I should’ve helped Yoongi-hyung, even though he pushed us away! I should’ve gone out to find Seokjin-hyung as soon as I got that stupid text! And I should’ve gone to Jungkook’s house earlier! I should have jumped in after and I don’t even care if it would have killed me or not! And maybe if I did all that, just something, anything, them maybe they all would be alive!” He screamed.
“I should’ve died that day! I should have been the one to die, not Namjoon, Jimin and Taehyung! It should've been me helping Namjoon, not Taehyung! And I should’ve held onto Jimin’s hand or-or gone in after him! It should’ve been me who died instead of them!” Hoseok cried.
Dawon was speechless. She frowned, then let go of Hoseok.
“Fine,” She said, her hands up, “Then do it, but… just think about what you’re doing. Once you do something like that, there’s no turning back. And something like this doesn’t just affect you. Think about the pain you’ll cause to all the people around you. Think about Mom, Dad and me. We’ll miss you so much. And we’ll cry, just like you do.”
Hoseok’s mouth furled. “But-”
“Hoseokie, you can overcome this. You’re so strong. And… you won’t ever be able to forget this, forget everything, but you can go on and live your life. Just… please. Live your life. If not for yourself, then for us. For them.” Dawon said.
Hoseok’s eyes welled up at the words, then he fell to his knees and began to sob.
“I’m s-sorry. I-I’m so, s-so sorry!” Hoseok cried, as Dawon held him in her arms.
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. None of this is.” Mrs. Jung hugged Hoseok, as did his father.
Hoseok tried, he tried hard, but there were times when he would fall. The sadness and memories were overwhelming, but no matter what, his family was always there to help him.
And through therapy, time (and plenty of love), he began to move on. He began to enjoy life again, to smile and tell jokes. He made new friends, found new passions and soon, began to feel like he was himself again.
Of course, he still has nightmares about that horrible day, those horrible memories reminding him of themselves at the worst of times. But he didn’t ever let them win. Because he had to live life to the fullest. For his family, for his friends. He misses all of them, wished and wished and wished that they could be here with him, alive and well and healing. A part of him will always be missing, but… sometimes, we must learn to go on. To breathe.