Chapter Text
“I’ve been compromised.”
“Is now a good time to admit I don’t know what that means?”
Natasha barely, just barely, restrained herself from throwing her comm across the room. “This. Is. Serious.”
“I actually don’t know,” said Tony. “I just know spies say it when they’re found out. Does that mean they know about both of us, or-“
“That means they recognize me.”
“And that’s bad.”
“Yes that’s bad,” Natasha snarled. “Get out of here.”
“Uh, sorry, didn’t copy. Are you asking me to leave you?”
“If you’re seen with me, you’ll become a target, too.”
“Hm, still not copying.” Tony climbed up beside her, far from stealthy even without his suit.
Curse his snarky ass. “Stark.”
“Romanoff.” He actually had the nerve to grin at her.
“I’m telling you to save yourself. I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, no.”
Useful as Tony was, Natasha had never missed Clint more. Not that he was likely to be much more cooperative, she thought bitterly. “No?”
“No, you won’t be fine, and no, I won’t be saving myself if I go back alone, because Barton’s going to be waiting when I do. And then Cap, and then Bruce- Thor might take a swing or two if he ever comes back to Earth- and then Fury gets whatever’s left.” Tony faked a shudder that Natasha really hoped wasn’t meant to look realistic. “No thanks.”
“Alright wise guy. You got a plan?”
“Well I was planning on just walking out with you and seeing if they still feel the way they do now. I can call a suit in half a second if this stops being a sneak mission.”
Natasha shook her head. “They’ll know I’m with you then, you’ll be a target. The whole team will.”
That made him pause. She knew it would.
“Ordinarily, I wouldn’t think much of one more target on my back— I have a tapestry of them— but the team...” Tony looked her up and down with a calculated expression, like he was evaluating her for something, probably weighing her life against the safely of the others.
“I’ll be fine.” That wasn’t certain at all, but she had gotten lucky before.
“Somehow, I still don’t believe you. Luckily, I’m still going to walk out with you.”
“Tony...”
“It’s... a little unconventional, you probably didn’t learn about it in spy school or anything, but hear me out.”
That was usually cause for unease, when Tony Stark said hear me out.
“What’s your plan?”
“Well the plan— don’t kill me— the plan is I make you smaller, about like this—“ he used his fingers to indicate an absolutely minuscule size, “— and I carry you right on out of here, oh you’re looking for a redheaded spy? Never heard of her, have a nice day.”
Well that was unexpected. Natasha frowned. “Is this some kind of new tech, or...”
“Nope, I can just do that.” He’d officially lost it. “Don’t go spreading that around, though. I like to keep my very occasionally useful abilities a secret.”
“Tell me again what you’re planning?”
“Make you small, you ride with me, nobody suspects a thing. It’s perfect.”
“Right.” Natasha eyed him carefully. He looked serious enough. “If you think it’ll work, go ahead.”
She didn’t tell him how much every part of her recoiled at the idea.
“Good.” Tony clapped his hands, looking relieved. “I’ve been told it feels a little weird, but it’s not bad.”
Even with years of training and practice masking and even manipulating her emotions, Natasha couldn’t suppress a small gasp as the floor raced toward her. Looking up, she watched the ceiling receding, and Tony growing from a person to a human skyscraper in half a second. It didn’t help that the instant everything stopped moving, he crouched down entirely too close with all his giant focus zeroed in on her.
“You alright?”
“Great.” Natasha smoothed her features back into a mask of cool. “Yourself?”
“A little tired of this place, to be perfectly honest. Let’s go home.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Good thing you insisted I look professional for this. If I put you in my shirt pocket, do you promise not to murder me?”
Natasha rolled her eyes.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Tony’s enormous hand reached for her, and she held stubbornly still as his fingers trapped her and lifted her up. Everything was perfectly fine. Tony slipped her into his pocket with painstaking gentleness, and she allowed herself one deep breath while no one was watching.
Natasha Romanoff was not accustomed to feeling helpless. Even tied to a chair and dangled over an abyss, she wasn’t helpless, despite what all appearances would suggest. But now... yeah this was pretty helpless. For someone who so often depended on keeping a situation under perfect control, it was a terrible feeling, one she tried to avoid at almost all times, and Tony was definitely not her first choice for someone to find her in it.
That was fine, though. Everything was fine, and she wouldn’t have to stay like this for long. She had no real reason not to trust him, especially in this, after he had insisted on it to avoid leaving her. It was fine. She was terribly out of control here, but it was still fine.
The pocket Natasha was in swayed as Tony walked, and that was definitely a new experience. Held so close to his chest, she could actually hear his heart beating strangely fast. That was also new.
Presently, Tony’s heart sped up exponentially, and Natasha was jostled as he made some quick movement.
“Okay, they’re definitely suspicious.”
At roughly the size of a paperclip, those were not good words to hear. “Where are we?”
“Janitor’s closet. Change of plan.”
No escape routes, no way to check the hall before opening the door again. Easy to be cornered. On the other hand, plenty of cleaning products to be sprayed in faces, and an array of supplies to be used as improvised weapons. “Are they coming?”
“No they’re not after us yet, but they were giving me looks.”
“And you’re hiding in a closet now?” Absolutely the worst move he could have made.
“If one of them goes to grab me wrong, you’re dead. This is a nice shirt. Anyway, new plan.” Tony cleared his throat, broadcasting his unease as clearly as if he had written nervous on his forehead in hot pink marker. “You’re allowed to hurt me for this later, and I’ll completely understand, because right now I think I need to hide you in my stomach.”
It was getting harder and harder to tell herself this was fine. “Excuse me?” said Natasha.
“I’ve done it before, it’s perfectly safe, and nobody would suspect a thing. We get out of here, and you can get Barton to-“
“Tony!” Natasha snapped. “What are you talking about?”
“Hiding you. Safely. Until we’re clear.”
“In your stomach.”
“Yeah. More very rarely useful abilities, turning off your digestion at will.”
He really might as well, at this point, Natasha thought. He was big enough, and it had actually crossed her mind, just one more thing to think about while she was small. Not that he would, but that he physically could.
Apparently he also would. This mission was going downhill so fast, really, why would something like this not happen? Natasha sighed.
“Romanoff?” Tony was probably afraid she had fainted.
“You’re serious?” Natasha supposed she should be afraid, but this was just ridiculous.
“Sorry.” For someone so enormous, he sounded strangely meek.
“It’s fine.”
“So you’re on board?”
“It’s not my first choice of an escape plan, but I won’t stop you.”
“Excellent. I”ll have to pick you up again now.”
The pocket was disturbed, and Tony’s fingers reached inside. Natasha climbed onto them and held on while he brought her out and looked at her again. His face was impossibly big, grotesquely so, and she didn’t like looking at it.
“You’ll be fine,” said Tony, and the strange gentle-voice he used was definitely going on her growing list of VERY new experiences today.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, here we go. Just try to keep still and we’re golden.”
Natasha gave him a sharp nod and closed her eyes. It was practical: less to see, less to fear, less chance of reacting in a way that might hurt them both.
She didn’t react when Tony put her in his mouth, even though that was something that definitely shouldn’t be able to happen. She didn’t react to the complete grossness of it all. It was fine. It had to happen, and that was fine.
Tony swallowed, and Natasha gasped, her heart giving a sick lurch. There was no way to stop it. This was helplessness. This was not having control. She grimaced and clamped her eyes and mouth shut, shuddering slightly at the way everything squeezed around her. It was all wrong; nothing in her training had prepared her for anything like this, which shouldn’t be possible at all, and she could only wait for it to end.
It did end, and she fell, tumbling somewhere that was equal parts soft and slimy, and that was that. Taking a shaky breath, Natasha raised herself to her knees and looked around.
The foul-smelling air was thick and hot, and the darkness felt just as close and overpowering. Tony’s heart sounded different now that she was below it rather than in a shirt pocket above it. Natasha suppressed a shiver.
“We good?” said Tony from outside.
“Never better.”
“Then I’m headed back. See you in a bit.”
Natasha could feel him walking again, but the movement was less than it had been in his pocket. That made sense; her current location was supported by muscles that would brace and absorb motion. That thought was more uncomfortable than she had anticipated.
Tony was speaking to someone— he was nervous, Natasha could tell— and saying he had no idea what they were talking about. Even though she could see nothing, she looked up toward the source of his voice.
She was no stranger to hiding herself inches away from danger, but it was usually on her terms. This was different, to have someone else keeping her undetectable. It wasn’t a good feeling. If he wanted, Tony could keep her for a long time, and no one would ever suspect by looking at him. Not that Natasha thought he would, but it was a slightly terrifying thought all the same. Of course he could also easily get rid of her here, and that was more terrifying to think about, but she dismissed it quickly. Tony wouldn’t.
He wouldn’t do anything of the sort. He would take her back and set her free again, because that was what he said he’d do. Everything was fine.
Nevertheless, it was maddening. Natasha felt like pacing back and forth to avoid merely waiting, but she imagined that could be uncomfortable for Tony. She grit her teeth and stayed respectfully still, listening to the person around her.
It was certainly a strange place to consider safe, and unease continued to needle at the back of her mind, but she smothered it. It was fine, and if it wasn’t, there was nothing to be done about it now. She closed her eyes with a sigh. This was certainly a day.
“We’re all good,” said Tony from outside. (Was it really outside if it was still him?)
“We’re clear?”
“They were suspicious, but they couldn’t find anything to go on. You doing alright?”
“I’d be better if you’d let me out of here.”
Tony chuckled slightly. “I don’t really feel like coughing you up in the middle of the street. Give me a minute to find somewhere.”
It was fine. For the first time that day, Natasha relaxed. It really was fine.