Chapter Text
Dear Sebastian,
I don't know why I'm even writing this letter to you if I have to be honest. It was hard enough getting a hold of your whereabouts since you left. Why And as you know, it was dangerously hard to get a hold of where you are without father figuring out what I am doing. Word spreads quickly among my peers and apparently, one of them knows that friend of yours...Chez, was it? I'm assuming by this address that this is where you are staying.
I can't say I ever really expected things to turn out this way. As I try and figure out the gaps between now and then, it's quite apparent that this was something bound to happen but yet no one expected it. You were always troublesome around father especially...but I cannot blame you for that. It's easy to learn to play a specific role in his life. I have had only three more years worth of life to learn to play the role he wants me to play. You were not given enough time around him, unfortunately.
He hasn't really spoken much about you at all since you left. He made Rowd clean out your room and throw out almost everything. He gave me your music collection, however, as it was still in too new of condition to let it be thrown out. I'm not really a huge fan of vinyl as I don't see the appeal of it. CDs are much more convenient in my opinion but I suppose it's a nice novelty to have. Father has locked your room for some reason. He does not have plans of turning it to a guest room or a gun showcase room or anything. It's just simply another room we I cannot go into even if I wanted to.
Mother is having a harder time about it though. She has spent more time at church than at home these days. When she's home, all she does is drink herself to sleep or she'll cry herself to sleep. I've caught on a conversation between father and Rowd. They talk about sending mother to a hospital for a while since it's getting too much. I try and comfort her as much as I can. In a reverse role of mother and daughter, I'm the only one really caring for her. She cries about you and what she could've done better. Many times I told her it wasn't her fault. I was the one who had to help her off the couch and take her to bed or make sure she would actually wake up the next morning. Father says to leave her alone and she'll work it out herself but I don't think that helps with her. Tonight though, I didn't say anything as I watched her drink away father's expensive whiskey and cry herself to sleep in the kitchen table. I was just too tired and I didn't think and-
I'm rambling here but I cannot bring myself to rewrite this. What have you been up to since you left? Why are you staying with that guy?
I don't know if you will respond to any of this. If you choose to respond, please don't use your real name. Father doesn't know I'm doing this. I can go as far as sending letters but I cannot receive letters. If it's possible, can you send your response in the backyard? I think you remember that area where we hid a lot as kids that father never found out about.
Enclosed is $100 if this letter wasn't mishandled. It's only fair as I did not fulfill my promise of lying to father. I'm sorry I didn't.
I have no idea what else I can do but if there is, let me know. I cannot do miracles or even close to it but I can try.
Kindest Regards,
Lydia