Chapter Text
Jaskier froze for a moment as the door swung open.
This is where the difference between him and Rivia comes into play; Jaskier’s better with the talking, with covers, and when his gets blown, he panics. Mildly. Rivia, on the other hand, is much better with the combat, the high-speed chases. Jaskier knew from experience and several near heart attacks that he’s a great driver and has very little regard for his own life.
Rivia and his better combat instincts were already pressed up against the wall, out of view of the people in the room. He had a hand on his gun. He was in a much better position than Jaskier, standing like a dumbass in front of the door.
Delphine was inside, along with several men. She was seated at a table, across from someone else, and there are guards behind both of them. It looked like a decidedly shady set-up. So. Rivia was right.
The Countess de Stael smiled, called him by the code name that he’d given her. Thank fuck he’d had the presence of mind not to give her his real one when he was drugged. “What are you doing here, darling? I thought you had a date?” She laughed, lightly, easily. “I’m flattered, really, but you should know that I prefer not to be the other woman.”
Jaskier panicked for another half a second before he pulled it together. She still thought he was drunk. Drugged. Right. Okay. He laughed, himself, and pretended not to notice the other people in the room. “Mmm, but Delphine, angel of my heart, I couldn’t stay away!”
The countess held a hand up to the others, at least one of whom was visibly reaching for something—probably a gun. He paused. Jaskier kept the most foolish smile he could on his face. “And what happened to the lovely blond who took you away?”
Jaskier laughed. “Oh, him. I’d much rather spend a night with you than with him.” Still panicking, he justified this with the first things that actually spring to mind about Rivia. “Seems trustworthy, that one, but he doesn’t really care about anything I want to do.” He twisted his expression into something less put-together to emphasize his distaste. “Hooks up with other people all the time. I didn’t think he’d mind me going off on my own tonight.”
“Ah, I see.” Delphine smiled gently at him, as one might at a child, and patted the chair next to her. “Come sit, dear.”
Jaskier did as he was told. He didn’t really have any other choice. There was no way for him to get to his gun without being shot as soon as it was in his hands. Maybe getting closer to Delphine would give him an advantage.
It occurred to him that Rivia was right outside the door, but he decided that there was no way Rivia was reliable enough to come through with a rescue that wouldn’t ruin everything. Jaskier knew his habit of improvising better than he’d like to. He’d have to figure this out for himself. Rivia could’ve been long gone by then.
“You know, darling, between you and me,” Delphine said, when Jaskier plopped himself down in the chair, still pretending to be drugged, “I think he really does care.” She leant over to straighten the lapels of his suit. Jaskier could see the man across the table, and he looked… amused.
Was that a bad sign? That was probably a bad sign. Maybe Jaskier was just really really good at playing the drunk fool.
Delphine continued to fuss at his suit, smoothing over his chest, tugging at his collar. “You should have seen his face. He looked very upset to see you talking to me.”
“Really?” Jaskier asked, mildly, playing along as best he can.
“If you ask me,” Delphine said, leaning in close to whisper her next words, palms braced against Jaskier’s chest, “I think he was jealous.”
Jaskier opened his mouth to ask ‘really’ again, because there’s no way in hell Rivia was actually jealous, or actually played along with their cover that well, but Delphine had dipped her hand into his suit jacket and grabbed the gun that he stashed there. She presses it up against his sternum. Jaskier’s breath caught in his throat.
“It was a nice try, agent,” she whispered in his ear, and he could practically hear her smirk. “But you’ll have to be a bit less conspicuous next time.”
She pulled back, and aimed the gun at his head. If Jaskier had had any doubts about her being a criminal before… well. Rivia had definitely been right. The man across the table was most definitely amused. “Your date can come in now,” she said, loud enough for someone in the hallway to hear. If there were someone in the hallway.
Jaskier’s breath caught again when Rivia actually walked into the room, holding his gun.
“You’ll want to drop the gun, agent,” Delphine said, sweet as anything, and cocked Jaskier’s gun. Under duress, it occurs to Jaskier that cocking someone’s gun could be a hell of a euphamism.
“You knew we were coming,” Rivia said, eyes narrowed. He didn’t drop the gun. Considering the gun pointed at Jaskier’s face, that was stressful, to say the least.
“Of course,” said Delphine, smiling as if nothing were wrong. “My guards know better than to let just anyone through. They told me at once. Now. Drop your weapon, unless you want your pretty date’s brains all over my nice carpet.”
Rivia narrowed his eyes at her. Jaskier was about ready to scream, because that was his life Rivia was playing around with, but then he knelt and set the gun on the floor.
“Cute,” Delphine said. “Kick it away from you.”
Rivia was obviously unhappy with these orders, but he did as he’s told. Thank fuck.
“Now. Who do you work for, you two? I’ll take answers from either one.” Delphine looked expectantly between the two of them. Thankfully, neither Jaskier or Rivia were stupid enough to actually answer her. Delphine changed tactics, putting a hand to Jaskier’s face. “Got nothing to say, darling? That’s a shame. I was considering letting you live.”
“You were?” asked the man across the table, and a glance over at him showed a raised eyebrow.
Delphine laughed. “Well, no, but it’s a nice sentiment, isn’t it? Here, how about this; either you tell me who you work for now, and I kill you nice and easy, or you don’t, and I have you tortured for months until you break.”
“Our backup’s not gonna be very happy if you kill us,” Jaskier said, all in one breath.
Delphine raised an eyebrow at that. “Oh?”
Jaskier hoped to fuck that Rivia wasn’t making some stupid-ass dumb fucking expression that will give away the fact that he’s bluffing for his life. “We’ve got the mansion surrounded. If we die, the whole place gets blown sky-high.”
The man across the table scoffed. “Sure. What agency is going to blow up the diamond?”
“The diamond will survive,” Jaskier said, more confident in his bluff. Well. ‘Confident’ was a stretch. It was the only thing he had. It might’ve been leaky, but it was the kind of life preserver that would keep him afloat, if just for the moment. “That’s just a matter of going through the wreckage. We planned to keep it low-stakes, but we’re not the government. If we die? There’s nothing stopping the rest of us from bringing this place down, and all the people with it.”
“Implying that the government would have any reservations about blowing up a whole building full of people,” the man across the table muttered, glancing over to Delphine. “Stael,” he said, in a tone that said ‘make your move’.
Delphine narrowed her eyes at Jaskier, and turned to say something to one of her guards. Jaskier hoped that Rivia was ready to do some serious improvising, and knocked the gun out of her hand, before ducking under the table. Several silenced gunshots went off. Jaskier saw his gun just beyond his chair; he lunged for it, and his hand brushed against Delphine’s, like a cheesy meet-cute. Except Jaskier was fighting for his life, and she was trying to kill him.
Jaskier got the gun, and fell flat on his back, twisting to aim the gun at her. Delphine glared down at him, but stopped.
Glancing around, Jaskier was gratified to see that Rivia was still alive—although, how the fuck he’s not dead, Jaskier has no idea. His gun was still on the ground where he’d kicked it. One of Delphine’s guards was dead on the ground, shot in the back, and Rivia had the other one pressed up against the wall with a knife to his throat and a gun to his stomach.
Jaskier’d never seen Rivia use knives before. Unfortunately for his peace of mind, it was kind of hot.
“Grab the diamond, Dandelion,” Rivia said, practically growling the words.
Jaskier was all too happy to do so, standing cautiously to keep his gun trained on Delphine as he reached toward the table.
The man sitting across the table got the box before he could. “Actually, I’ll be taking that. Condolences, Miss Stael.”
Delphine glared at him like she could shoot daggers from her eyes. If looks could kill… Well, really, her expression was kinda hot, too, but Jaskier shouldn’t have been letting his mind linger on that.
Without further ado, Rivia shot the second guard in the stomach and immediately turned to shoot the man, as well. He crumbled, dropping the box that ostensibly held the diamond. His guards moved to shoot, but Jaskier and Rivia both moved at once, each shooting one of the remaining guards. Jaskier got his gun trained back on Delphine as quickly as he could.
“Wolf. If you would,” he said, nodding toward the box. Rivia, thankfully, complied. Not that there was much else for him to do. “Now, Delphine—this really isn’t ideal, but we’ll have to be taking our leave now, if you’d be so kind as to remain here.”
They tied up the countess, and made an escape with the diamond out the window, once Rivia confirmed that it was actually in the box.
“Killing everyone wasn’t the plan,” Jaskier muttered, leading the way as they crept along the side of the house, back toward their car.
“A thank you wouldn’t be amiss,” Rivia grumbled, “considering I just saved your life. Fuck the plan. I wasn’t about to let you die.”
“That’d be flattering if there wasn’t a similar excuse every time you diverted from the plan,” Jaskier hissed back, earning him an angry sound from Rivia.
“It’s called being flexible , Dandelion, which you need, when you’re a fucking spy —”
Jaskier heard footsteps, and saw a flashlight beam along the side of the house. He turned to Rivia. “Kiss me.”
“ What? ”
“You heard me,” he whispered, still angry. “Now kiss me, asshole.”
He grabbed Rivia’s shirt and pulled him into a kiss, flattening himself against the wall. Luckily, Rivia followed along, pressing him up against the wall, pressing his body up against Jaskier’s. It was a good kiss. A really good kiss. But that wasn’t the point, and though Jaskier reciprocated, he kept an eye out, and when the guards came around the side of the house, he pulled himself away, feigning embarrassment.
He acted flustered, hoping Rivia would pick up on the act. “Oh! Sorry, we—we didn’t think anyone else would be out here, we just figured—”
He couldn’t really see the face of the guard with the flashlight well, over the bright beam, but he caught a glimpse of them wrinkling their nose with disgust. “Alright, keep it moving, folks. Go make out in your car if you’re that desperate.”
Jaskier laughed apologetically, prepared to keep playing the fool, when he heard Rivia say, “Will do,” in the huskiest voice Jaskier ever heard, and that just wasn’t fair at all. He mouthed another ‘sorry’ to the guards as Rivia towed him past them, pulling him by the hand.
“Quick thinking,” Rivia muttered, once they reached the car. He got into the driver’s seat. Jaskier took the passenger’s.
“Yeah, well,” Jaskier muttered, “someone had to keep us alive.”
Instead of starting the car, Rivia turned to face him, frowning. “You’re really mad at me?”
Jaskier, for all that he liked being the center of attention, suddenly felt uncomfortable. “Yes.”
“So you meant what you said. When you said I wasn’t trustworthy.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Not directly, maybe.” There was silence, for a moment, before Rivia spoke again. “Look, if you’ve got an issue with me, why don’t you just say it?”
“Fine! You’re always going off-plan, and improvising , and you never seem to think about how it’ll affect anyone but yourself, which leaves me to take care of myself and clean up your fucking mess!”
Rivia actually looked startled by that. Jaskier felt… well. Not proud of himself, but certainly like there was a weight off his chest.
“Let me guess. You didn’t realize?”
Rivia paused for a moment. “No. But it’s not like you don’t do the same.”
“When?” Jaskier demanded.
“Tonight, Dandelion,” Rivia countered, getting some of his heat back. “Unless you forgot that you got drugged by the first pretty girl you saw!”
“That wouldn’t have happened if you actually stuck by me in the first place, like I planned, instead of immediately abandoning ship!”
Rivia opened his mouth, as if to say something, but seemed to think better of it.
“Yeah. I thought so. Just drive, Rivia.”
The city skyline came closer and closer, and Jaskier leaned up against the window to watch the lights pass. It was a while before Rivia spoke again.
“I want you to be able to trust me, you know.”
Jaskier looked up, surprised, but said nothing.
“I’m only ever doing what makes—what makes sense, to me, in the moment. I’m never trying to mess up your plans. I’ll—” Rivia took a breath in. “I’ll try to be better. In the future. So this doesn’t happen again. So you can trust me.”
“Thanks, Rivia.” Jaskier considered his next words for a moment before speaking. “My name is Jaskier.”
Rivia looked over, brows pressed together. “You shouldn’t—”
“Yeah, yeah, shouldn’t tell you my name, security breach, what if we get tortured, all that. It’s not my legal name, but it is one that I… prefer. You already know my last name, anyway, and there’s not many Pankratzes out there.” He paused. “You’re right. We should trust each other, and this is me. Trusting you.”
“Jaskier, Dandelion… is there anything you like from your actual identity?”
“No. That’s why I became a spy.”
Rivia looked over at him, considering. “Fair enough.”
The rest of the drive didn’t take long, and then they were back at headquarters. In all honesty, Jaskier hadn’t engineered the night to be able to fake-date Rivia, but he had gotten a couple of good moments out of it. Now, before he got out of the car… really, he wanted to indulge himself, just once.
Rivia stopped the car, and Jaskier leaned over the console to kiss him.
He’d intended for just the one, but then Rivia kissed back, dirtily , and got a hand around the back of his head and on his hip, and Jaskier indulged himself a little longer.
When Jaskier finally managed to gather the self control to pull away, he fell back against the seat, breathing hard. “Well. Better get that diamond back to Yennefer.”
Rivia laughed at his side. It was a nice sound.