Chapter Text
I guess this is happening, Saiki Kusuo thought with a hint of annoyance when he glanced down the hall. One week and three days after the horrendous event of the cursed date, and he was still having to deal with the irritating side effects of hormonal teenagers.
Here she comes.
Kusuo rolled his eyes when the thoughts of Rifuta Imu made its way into his head and the crackle of a walkie-talkie followed shortly. “Saiki-senpai, she’s—”
Kusuo crushed the walkie-talkie in his hand, channeling a scream from the girl next to him. Alright, let’s go. He was going to hate doing something as troublesome as this, but if everything went as planned, then the results would be worth the journey.
“Kusuo!” Aiura yelled out, pushing Kusuo out into the middle of the hallway. She grabbed onto his arm, much like the first time they pretended to be dating in order to fool Rifuta.
Why am I doing this again? Saiki groaned inwardly. Three seconds in and he was already regretting it.
Earlier today, the meddlesome first year, Rifuta Imu, had come seeking Kusuo’s help with her Teruhashi courting ritual… or whatever it was called.
“Saiki-senpai, I need your help. This is a matter of life and death!”
Leave. Before I get the spray bottle.
The nuisance had shown up out of nowhere during Kusuo’s much needed mental break between classes. He had finally been able to find an area on campus where Nendou and Kaidou weren’t able to bother him about their problematic affairs. But if this blonde tick was the alternative, he would gladly listen to Kaidou’s rants about Dark Reunion’s undercover plans or be dragged along to get ramen after school.
Guess it’s time to choose a better spot.
“Wait, senpai, if you help me now, I will never bother you again!”
That’s definitely a lie. What do I have to do?
“You just have to—”
Never mind.
“—make Kokomi-senpai see that she’ll never have a chance with you. Then, I’ll tell her how I feel, and we’ll never bother you again.” Assuming everything goes as planned, Rifuta added to herself.
Your assumption just jinxed the whole plan. However, the result does sound quite tempting…
“I’ll also consider getting you coff—”
I’m in.
Now, where were we? Right, I was about to break someone’s heart.
“S-S-S-Saiki-kun?!” A few feet down the hall from the couple, Teruhashi Kokomi stopped dead in her tracks.
Good grief.
“S-Saiki-kun, a-are you and A-Aiura-san…” Teruhashi’s voice became thinner as she slowly began to piece together the puzzling sight before her. Is Saiki really going out with that gyaru girl? N-no way, right? There’s no way she and him are actually—
“Kusuo, let’s go on a date to the café on the way home, okay?” Aiura announced loudly, pretending not to hear Teruhashi. The two began walking the opposite direction from Teruhashi and towards the front of the school building.
Now, Kusuo thought with a smirk, forget about me and move on towards new love!
“I never thought of you as the matchmaker type, Kusuo,” Aiura said. With a huge sigh of reluctance, she let go of Kusuo’s arm when they headed down the stairs.
I am not. I am simply doing this for my own personal gain. Kusuo stopped when they reached the ground floor. With a quick use of clairvoyance (and the sacrifice of his dignity), Kusuo was able to observe as Rifuta slunk out of the shadows to comfort a heartbroken Teruhashi.
I’m sorry Kokomi-senpai, but I can’t accept you having a crush on that sleazy, disgusting playboy!
Who?
Kusuo sent Aiura home before concealing his presence as the girls made their way down to the shoe cubbies. Teruhashi was crying.
“Kokomi-senpai, don’t be too upset; that guy was a total jerk anyway. I know! Wh-why don’t we go get some ice cream or go to a café and you can forget all about that lying playboy?”
Yes, yes, forget all about him and fall in love with me! Rifuta thought, her inner self cracking a wide and wicked grin.
Why did I agree to do this again? Good grief. Kusuo trailed behind as the girls made their way down past the houses and towards the shops.
I have to tell Kokomi-senpai, Rifuta thought, focusing her gaze on the side of Teruhashi’s head. Okay, I can do this!
“Ko—”
“Kokomi-chan!”
Something just appeared.
“Kokomi-chan, what are you doing here? You aren’t planning on meeting up with that shitty four-eyes, are you?”
Ah. Another nuisance. Begone. Kusuo cursed himself for not having noticed the presence of this pervert sooner.
M-M-M-M-Mugami Tooru? Rifuta panicked, looking between both of the Teruhashis. Wh-why did he have to show up now?
Yes, why? Good grief, I did not plan for this outcome today. Well, no matter. Luckily, this guy is easy to deal with… Though I might have to sacrifice both our prides in order for this to work.
With a reluctant sigh, Kusuo telepathically sent a message to the pervert. Oh, he was going to regret this.
The person you are looking for is on the other side of town.
An exaggeratedly shiny image of Kusuo briefly flashed through the pervert’s mind before he made hurried excuses to leave. Good grief.
I wonder where he’s going… Teruhashi thought, staring after the retreating figure of her older brother. Nii-san almost never leaves me alone.
Okay. Now that it’s gone, you two better—what now?
Pushing through the onslaught of strangers’ thoughts, Kusuo honed in on one familiar voice of a girl working behind the counter of a nearby café.
Mera? Crap, if they go there and that loudmouth starts talking to them, Rifuta will never be able to tell Teruhashi how she feels! Thinking fast, Kusuo flipped the sign on the door to read ‘close,’ forcing the girls to continue their search for someplace to hangout.
“Honestly, Imu-chan,” Teruhashi spoke, breaking the silence between them.
What now? Kusuo thought, annoyed. He could only take so many minor inconveniences in one day; and today, was way past the limit.
“I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but…” she paused, “I don’t think I can see myself getting over him anytime soon.”
This is bad, Rifuta and Kusuo decided at the same time.
“D-don’t give up hope yet, Kokomi-senpai!” Rifuta spoke up. “You—”
“Oh! Teruhashi!”
No, no, no, no, no! Kusuo screeched internally. Of all the times for Nendou to show up randomly, this would definitely have to be one of the worst. Kusuo quickly avoided the situation by altering Teruhashi and Rifuta’s appearances to make them unrecognizable.
“Ah, sorry, wrong person.”
Throughout the rest of the afternoon, familiar faces began popping up out of the blue—Kuboyasu riding past on a motorcycle, Yumehara desperately trying to invite them to another mixer, Hairo asking the girls if they needed any assistance—it was almost as if the universe had planned for everything to go wrong on this specific day.
Do you hate me, god?
As the sun began to set, Teruhashi, Rifuta and their tagalong made their way through a small park. Finally, they were alone.
“Um,” Rifuta began, “T-Teruhashi-senpai, there’s actually a reason why I wanted to spend time with you today. The truth is, I… I—”
Briiiing. Briiiing.
Kusuo nearly exploded a nearby discarded tennis ball out of pure frustration.
“Sorry, Imu-chan,” Teruhashi apologized, looking up from her phone, “but I really have to head home now. Can it wait?”
No.
“Uh, yeah,” Rifuta let out a nervous laugh, “of course it can.” Teruhashi flashed one of her breathtaking smiles before bidding farewell and dashing off, leaving Rifuta Imu feeling heartbroken and empty.
The next day at school, Rifuta was back to her usual cheery and scheming self, targeting Kusuo the moment he exited his homeroom class for break.
“Saiki-senpai! I need—”
No.