Chapter Text
You were going over the information Garcia had sent the team when they brought in the unsub. It was like you could feel the hair at the back of your neck stand up, causing you to shift your gaze and lock eyes with him. A sharp chill ran down your spine. John Richards, a 46-year-old neurologist like the team had expected. What no one could figure out was why exactly he had done it, or more pressingly, where Georgia Ramirez was.
“John Richards was diagnosed with dyslexia when he was a kid,” You jumped when Spencer spoke behind you, unaware he had approached you. He must not have wanted to wait for you to finish reading Richards’ file.
“His father thought beating him would solve the problem,” Emily huffed as she joined in the conversation, the three of you watched as Morgan walked into the interrogation room with the unsub.
“He was sent to the hospital on multiple occasions,” Reid continued “But Richards eventually went on to be a somewhat successful neurologist.” He sounded surprised and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was because Richards had overcome an abusive household or his disorder. “However, he was involved in a malpractice lawsuit about a year ago and had his medical license revoked in the process.”
“A year ago?” You thought out loud.
“His father died two weeks ago,” Emily added, causing you to nod. That’ll do it.
“What was the lawsuit over?” The question left you just as Hotch stepped out of the room adjacent to the interrogation room, motioning for the three of you to join him.
“Garcia’s still trying to work that out,” She sighed as you began to make your way over to Hotch.
The two-way mirror always gave you an uneasy feeling, but maybe it was because there was almost never anyone decent on the other side of it, tonight was no exception. You could see Morgan hunched over the table, clearly fed up with this guy. Richards, on the other hand, looked like he was beyond bored. Getting information out of him was going to be like pulling teeth.
“Has Morgan gotten anything yet?” Emily asked as she leaned against the back wall, her arms crossed. The way her eyes never left the unsub told you he made her feel uneasy too. Hotch shook his head.
“No, he said he’d only talk to y/n.” Hearing your name caused your heart to start racing.
“Me?” Before Hotch could respond to you, Morgan barged into the room.
“This guy is getting on my last nerve,” When his gaze found you, he gave you a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, but he won’t talk unless it’s you.” Trying to un-furrow your eyebrows, you took a deep breath.
“The first time a guy has shown any outward interest in me and it has to be this creep?” You tried to joke, if only to ease your own nerves, not waisting another second as you quickly left the room. It was getting too crowded in there anyways. Pausing outside the interrogation room, you took another deep breath as you tried to plaster on a neutral face before stepping inside.
~
Seeing him across the room was bad, but sitting across the table from him was downright disturbing. It wasn’t that he was physically repulsive, he was actually a fairly attractive man, but there was something in his eyes, the way they looked into you, the way he made your skin crawl. Your body was desperately telling you to run and get as far away from him as possible.
“Where is Georgia Ramirez?” You asked for the fifth time, understanding how Morgan lost his patience so fast. Richards just smiled. “I thought you wanted to talk to me? Yet, you haven’t said a word since I’ve walked in here. We’ve caught you red-handed, Richards. Come on, you know how this works,” You were getting tired of talking to yourself. “You’re going to be convicted no matter what, but if you tell us where Georgia Ramirez is, then maybe I’ll be able to lessen your sentence.”
“You want me to talk?” He finally spoke, shrugging as he leaned forward. “Ok, have you figured it out yet?”
“If I knew where Georgia-”
“No! No, not her!” He barked. “Have you figured out why I did it?” Narrowing your gaze, you opened and closed your mouth unsure of how to respond, something told you lying to him would get you nowhere, he was too smart for it.
“Not yet,” You admitted, noticing a flash of disappointment in his eyes.
“And here I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, this is your job isn’t it?”
“Let me guess,” He had struck a nerve, causing you to try a different route. “It has something to do with the way daddy made you feel inadequate, doesn’t it?” You could tell he was quickly becoming agitated, but you didn’t care. “This isn’t about the kids, this is about you and your own insecurities.”
“What would you know about that?!” He spat back, which didn’t scare you nearly as much as when his posture quickly changed, a look of recognition in his eyes. “Oh, wait, you know all too well about how that feels, don’t you?” Though your features remained neutral, a sickening feeling began to creep up your throat.
“What?” The word slipped from you before you had a chance to stop it.
“I should have seen it sooner, the way your eyes kept scanning over the paper you were reading when they brought me in. I miss spoke, you aren’t the smart one.” He stated, leaning back in his chair. “At least, that’s what you’re afraid of, isn’t it?”
“Oh, I see,” Your voice came out strong and even, a stark contrast to how you felt. “This is all about you. What were you doing to those kids, Richards?”
“It’s not easy to spot someone with dyslexia, not without tests,” He continued, ignoring you. “But sometimes we just give ourselves away.”
“I can tell you what you didn’t do,” You ignored him right back. “You didn’t treat them like your daddy treated you. You were only interested in their brains, why? What were you doing?” Chewing on your bottom lip, you narrowed your eyes, the answers seemed so close, what were you missing?
“Tell me, are you afraid the others will find out how stupid you really are? Do they know you have to work twice as hard to keep up with them?” It was getting harder to block out his words, but as they grew closer to home, so did your theory. “What about the lanky one? I saw the way he watched you struggling to read fast enough, I bet he’s tired of going slow for you. He’s probably sick of picking up your slack.” And there it was, the bulk of your insecurities laid out on the table for everyone to see. The back of your neck burned knowing your team was behind you on the other side of the glass, hearing everything. “That’s it, isn’t it,” He must have seen the way you swallowed at his implications. “You’re afraid of what he thinks of you, afraid you’ll never be enough.”
“And you’re afraid of letting your father down for the last time,” You were done playing games, and as you lean forward you could see him beginning to sweat. “That’s what the malpractice was about, wasn’t it, you were trying to fix your disorder once and for all? But they stopped you before you even began.” The accusations came flooding out of you, and for a second you thought they were too much of a stretch to be true, but the look on his face spurred you on. “You almost gave up, but when your father passed, you realized you owed it to him. That’s why you took those kids, you were trying to rewire their brains, weren’t you?” His cocky demeanor was beginning to slip as he began fidgeting with his hands. “But that didn’t work, did it?” You asked, standing up. “I guess you’re not so smart after all.”
With that you calmly left the room, only to begin sprinting down the hall once you knew he could no longer see you. For a moment you thought you could hear Spencer calling out your name, but you were far too focused on slipping into the bathroom to process it, thankful to find it empty. It was only after a minute you knew for sure he had as he barged through the door, startling you.
“Are you alright?” His voice was full of concern as he made his way to you, hunched over the sink.
“Spence, this is the women’s bathroom,” You laughed lightly, trying to hide the embarrassment you felt, but you knew it was in vain as your eyes stayed trained to the water dripping from the faucet.
“I know, but you-” There was a pause and you were about to look up when you felt his hand on your shoulder. “Y/n…”
“He’s right, isn’t he?” You shrugged him off as you moved to grab a paper towel to wipe away a few stray tears. “I slow you down. I slow everyone down, the whole team. Even now, I’m hiding in the bathroom instead of doing my damn job.”
“What?” He asked as if he never expected you to take Richards' words to heart. This time you did look up, catching his eyes in the reflection of the mirror.
“It’s true,” You stated, causing him to shake his head.
“No, it isn’t.”
“Look, Spence, you don’t have to lie.” You huffed, dropping his gaze as you turned around to lean against the sink, eyes cast to the floor. “I know you’d be better off without me in the BAU.”
“Is this about you being dyslexic?” You laughed at his surprise, which he took as a yes. “I had no idea you felt this way. I’ve always found dyslexia to be really fascinating. For instance, it is not a sign of low intelligence, and it’s not the result of neurological damage, but the product of neurological development.”
“I know all that already.”
“Good, then you should know that some of the most intelligent minds of our time have been known to have dyslexia, such as Albert Einstein and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. And to add to that, people with dyslexia are usually more creative and have a higher level of intelligence. Not to mention, it’s a learning disability,” His speaking slowed as if he was trying to make a point. “Not some disease you can cure.”
“Why are you saying all of this?” You asked as you tried to even your breathing, but it was proving to be near impossible as you watched him step closer to you.
“I’ve always been honest with you,” Spencer said softly, his hands moved to cup your face, forcing your eyes to find his once again. “And I won’t let what Richards said get into your head, you are not leaving the BAU, we need you.” He paused again, licking his lips as he thought over what he was about to say. “I need you. You don’t slow me down, you make me see things from a different perspective. You are valuable to this team, and to me.” Spencer’s affirming words felt warm as they seeped into you, but your head still shook away his praise.
“Spence-”
“Don’t you trust me to tell you the truth?” He sighed. “You know, you’re not alone, I feel inadequate too sometimes,” Spencer admitted, smiling when you gave him a quizzical look. “Just moments ago, in fact, when you pieced together his motive. I would have never thought of that,”
“That’s not true,” You laughed, and he couldn’t help but laugh along with you.
“Ok, maybe eventually, but you beat me to it because you’re smart and good at your job. It’s what makes us work so well together. You see the things that I don’t.” He stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world to him.
And suddenly you were aware of how close he was, his face just inches away from yours. For a second you thought you had imagined it when you saw his gaze drop to your mouth, but as you raised your hands to hold his which were still cupping your face, you could feel his pulse racing. Swallowing, you felt like you were going to get motion sickness from all the emotions you’d gone through in the past thirty minutes. An abrupt knock at the door cut the tension that was building, causing the two of you to step back from one another, it still wasn’t the time.
“Hey, y/n?” JJ opened the door. “Are you ok?” She asked with a soft smile as she looked back and forth at the two of you, trying her best not to point out your matching blushes.
“Yeah, I’m feeling much better,” You said, scratching the back of your neck as you made your way towards her and out of the bathroom, Spencer following suit. Before you could say anything else, Morgan came into view.
“We’ve got a location.”
~
At first, it was like you were re-living one of your nightmares, gun in hand as you made your way through an isolated wing of an abandoned hospital. The team and local law enforcement split up to cover more ground, and though you were beginning to shake from the feeling of deja vu, you decided to take the basement. However, once you began your search, it grew easier to breathe, this wasn’t at all like your nightmares, instead of finding her in a bloody heap on the floor, you found the morgue.
It was seemingly empty, but as you looked around that’s when you heard the banging coming from one of the lockers. Holding your gun steady in one hand, you reached for the latch with your other, slowly opening it to reveal Georgia Ramirez, tattered but alive, so very alive.
“I’ve got her, in the basement.” You spoke into your earpiece as you pulled her out. “Georgia? Hi, I’m agent y/n.” Gently, you began unbinding her, taking the gag out of her mouth. “You’re going to be ok,” You tried to sound reassuring as people began making their way into the room, stepping back so the EMTs could do their job.
Walking past the bustle of people, you made your way back outside, needing to feel the cool night breeze against your face. You made it all the way to the car, leaning back against it with a sigh before you were interrupted by a call.
“Hey, Pen.” You smiled.
“Hey yourself, Morgan updated me on everything.” She sounded more energetic than usual, and you wondered how Morgan was able to relay information to her so quickly. “Is it true that you and Reid made-out in the bathroom after you went all badass on the unsub?”
“What?!” The half shriek half-laugh that left your throat was anything but subtle. “No! We did not, where the hell did you hear that?”
“Huh, my sources must be mistaken, because you’d tell me if anything happened…right?” Just then you spotted Reid making his way over to you, the whole team not far behind. “Y/n, you’d tell me, right?”
“I have to go, babe. I’ll let you know.” You replied before hanging up, too exhausted to fuel her fantasies tonight. But you smiled down at your phone when it buzzed.
You better! <3 - Penelope Garcia
~
You were looking forward to getting on the plane, heading home, and falling asleep for as many uninterrupted hours as possible. But it seemed the weather had other plans as it began to downpour, the rain seemingly in yielding as thunder began to roll in. The team was able to make it back to the hotel before it got too bad, but not before you got soaked.
“It doesn’t look like we’ll be heading home tonight,” Hotch said looking at his phone. “They predict the storm won’t pass until noon tomorrow, so I suggest that everyone get some well-deserved rest.” His gaze fell on you and Spencer before turning towards the elevators.
The team said their goodnights before parting ways, and suddenly you were alone with Spencer. The AC made your drenched clothes feel like ice clinging to your body and you felt like you’d never be able to get warm. But as you walked past Spencer to get to your bag, his hand reached out for yours, stopping you.
“Do-do you really feel like you’re not enough?” His voice cracked a little. “You’re not worried about what I think of you, right?” You closed your eyes before looking up at him, turning to face him as you shivered, your lips pressed into a line as if to stop you from speaking. It didn’t work.
“I worry about it all the time,” You admitted, biting the inside of your cheek. “How could I ever be enough. You’re the resident genius, an-and I’m…nothing.” A look of extreme bewilderment took over Spencer’s features.
“I have to say, rarely have I ever heard anything more absurd come from you. I think this takes the cake, actually.”
“Seriously, Spence-” Before you could argue your point, he took a step towards you. Giving you plenty of time to pull back or push him away, he leaned down and suddenly you knew what his lips felt like against yours. Soft and full. But just as quickly as he came, he went, pulling away with wide eyes.
“I’m sorry, I-I don’t know why I did that, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. If-” Grabbing his still soaking wet shirt, you tugged him back towards you, kissing him with more confidence then before. He tasted like coffee and mint, swirling together as your mind began to swim. His arms wrapped around your waist and you could feel his warmth spread through you, melting away your worries.
“I’ve never doubted you,” Spencer spoke again as he rested his forehead against yours, his thumb stroking your cheek as he looked down at you with admiration. “And I’ve never seen you as anything less than my equal.” He stated, giving you another kiss before looking down at the soaked clothes the two of you were still wearing. “We should change and warm up before we both catch a cold.” He pointed out, his arms still wrapped around you as your arms hung loosely around his neck.
“I can think of a way we could do that.” You teased, causing him to blush. “See it’s already working.” You squealed as he squeezed your sides in retaliation.
What happened after that? Well, not even you would tell Garcia. Some things are better kept a secret, at least for now. It wouldn’t take the team long to figure the two of you out, in fact, they probably already have. But here in the hotel room, it was finally the right time and you had a feeling that your sleepless nights would be due to something much more pleasant then nightmares.