Chapter Text
The room became silent as soon as the words left your mouth. Dean stared at you with a mixture of hurt and remorse. As angry as you were at him, you couldn’t bear to see that look on his face, so in one swift motion, you got out of your bed and made your way to the door. Before you could turn the knob, Dean grasped your arm, stopping you in your tracks.
“Y/N?” he said quietly as he gently pulled you back to sit on the edge of your bed. Then he knelt on the ground in front of you and lowered his head, as if he was ashamed.
Then he took a deep breath before saying, “I’m sorry, Y/N. You’ve been hurting, and instead of being there for you, all I’ve done is push you further away. I’m so sorry.”
“Why do you care, Dean?” you whispered as you struggled to keep the tears that threatened your resigned composure from spilling over.
“Because I love you,” Dean answered, nonchalantly.
You were stunned. Absolutely, completely stunned. A part of you couldn’t believe what you just heard. But a larger part of you, the part that still held on to those nights you and Dean spent in each other’s arms, allowed a single tear to finally trickle down your cheek.
Dean licked his lips and then looked at you, as if he were waiting for a cue to continue.
“I-I lied that day,” he admitted, stammering slightly. “Everything I said about you being just sex and not wanting to be with you…they were all lies. That night was one of the best nights of my life, and I’m so sorry for how I treated you the next day. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
You closed your eyes and shook your head, trying to stay as rational as you possibly could.
“Why should I believe you?” you asked him. “Why should I believe anything you say to me?”
“Because I hate what happened to us. And I’m sick and tired of you and me pushing each other away all the time. All I’ve been trying to do is protect you, but I always end up hurting you. That’s why I lied. Because you shouldn’t be with me, Y/N. Everyone around me gets hurt, or worse. I’m poi-”
“Don’t,” you cut him off. “Don’t say it. I know what you’re going to say, but it’s not true. You’re not poison, Dean. Not even close.”
During the conversation, your anger had melted away and was replaced by understanding. You finally understood why Dean was so hot and cold with you. So you took a chance and traced your fingers down the side of his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. When your fingers got close to his mouth, he took your hand in his own and kissed the back of it.
“I can’t give you anything, Y/N,” he continued, still holding your hand. “I can’t give you nice things or a family or a safe, normal life. I want to more than anything, but I can’t.”
Tears were still falling from your eyes as you pulled him up from the floor to sit beside you on the bed. Then you dropped your voice to a whisper.
“I want you, Dean. You’re all I need.”
Before he could say anything else, you pulled Dean close to you and pressed your lips to his. Dean’s hands roamed to your back and hugged you to him, as if he never wanted to let you go. You deepened the kiss, parting your lips to allow him to explore you fully and completely. The both of you could taste the salt of your tears and the bitter whiskey on your tongue, but neither of you minded. All you cared about was the sensation of finally allowing yourselves to truly be together. When you broke away, you both had to take a few moments to get your breathing and heartbeats under control, yet you never allowed your hands to stray away from each other.
“By the way,“ you panted, “You can’t always protect me. I was a hunter before I met you, remember? I’m doomed whether we’re together or not.”
Dean nodded and pulled you back into his arms. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead before speaking again. “Then let’s be doomed together.”