Chapter Text
It took a one full day road trip from the city to his hometown in the countryside. Usually, Xiao Zhan would take the bus whenever he went back home as it was the cheapest available option he could find. Those trips weren’t exactly comfortable. With his long legs crammed in a small space for hours, only having the chance to stretch when the bus stopped for fuel refill and toilet breaks, his entire body would become numb and sore at the end of the exhausting journey.
Hence the reason why his trip this year felt especially strange.
He was comfortably seated in the passenger side of an expensive European sports car. Beside him, Wang Yibo was firmly strapped in the driver’s seat; hands on the wheel and his eyes looking straight ahead. This was already the third day after their departure from the city. At first, he did not understand why Wang Yibo told him to take a break longer than he had originally planned. Of course he did not expect the younger man to take the bus like he usually did, but it was beyond his expectation that this would become such a leisure trip either.
They would drive for about eight hours a day, occasionally stopping at rest areas to eat and staying at an inn when it already got dark. And Wang Yibo being Wang Yibo, he certainly would not pick any random hotels to stop by. Xiao Zhan was initially against the idea of having all of his hotel expenses covered by the younger man, but after hearing the other alternative that person proposed, in the end he decided to give up.
How could he not? This young company president casually suggested they take a helicopter ride because he thought Xiao Zhan preferred to have a faster trip without stopping by at inns for sleep.
“Just where did I go wrong? I thought I clearly told him that I only wanted us to share the expense.”
Putting that aside, Xiao Zhan quite enjoyed his first trip together with the other man. Not because he could finally have a taste of what luxury and comfort feels like, but more because for the first time, he had someone he could talk to during the long journey, someone he could eat and laugh together with unlike the tiring, lonely trips he usually had.
“Zhan- ge , is this the exit?”
“Ah? Oh, yes, right. We take this exit and drive straight ahead until there is a big ‘welcome’ sign at the second crossroad.”
“Okay.”
Wang Yibo switched on the turn signal as he carefully shifted their car to the left lane. As soon as they left the highway, the view of blue mountains and green hills in the distance was immediately visible to them. It was already some time after noon, but still a few hours away before sunset. The sky was still bright and clear, making the beautiful landscape even more vivid. A smile bloomed into Xiao Zhan’s face. He hadn’t seen this sight for a long time. To be able to return to his hometown after so many years, this picturesque scenery was nothing less than refreshing.
“Zhan- ge , is this really your hometown?” Wang Yibo asked.
“It is? Why do you ask?” bewildered by the sudden question, he stared at the younger man.
“N-No… It’s nothing…”
Xiao Zhan raised his brows upon seeing the other person cutting off their conversation all of a sudden. It was at that moment he came to notice, however, that Wang Yibo was barely blinking as he kept driving ahead. His eyes were looking straight to the front, but there were brief moments when he threw side glances to the view outside the window. It was as if he knew what he was supposed to do as a responsible driver, but at the same time he was also distracted by his surroundings. He appeared calm, yet curious. And Xiao Zhan could swear he almost saw the pair of dark spheres in his eyes sparkling from excitement.
“Yibo,” he called.
“What is it, Zhan- ge ?”
“Have you been to the countryside before?”
“No, I don’t think I have,” replied the younger man.
“Really? Then where do you usually go on your holidays?”
“You mean during my day offs? I just sleep and play games at home, or go outside to watch movies because obviously I can’t do that during the weekdays.”
“Oh…”
His answer was so straightforward and honest that Xiao Zhan couldn’t bring himself to press further. He actually meant to ask if he had gone to the beach, mountain, or traveled overseas, especially when he was a child, but the way that person answered just now was more than enough for him to know that it was probably something he shouldn’t ask.
“Zhan- ge , what is that?”
“What?”
“That,” Wang Yibo pressed his index finger to the front window, pointing towards a certain direction, “That big car moving on the field. Why is it crushing the grass and flipping out the soil?”
“It’s a tractor, Yibo. It’s used to plow the field before they start planting the seeds,” Xiao Zhan said.
“Oh… Then what are those?” he pointed in another direction.
“Scarecrows.”
“Scarecrows? The ones that often appear in horror movies? What are these people doing, putting such a scary thing on the field?”
“Because they...scare away the birds?” replied Xiao Zhan, but the younger man gave him a genuinely confused look that in the end, he had to explain to him how these things called scarecrows work and help the farmers chasing away wild birds, preventing them from plucking off the newly planted seeds and growing crops.
Wang Yibo’s questioning did not end there. Out of the highway and onto the small town’s clear, open road, there were always things - people, buildings, and objects - that caught his attention and resulted in yet another line of questions from him. Truth be told, he was no different from an excited boy on his first school trip and Xiao Zhan thought it was endearing. Nevertheless, at the same time Xiao Zhan couldn’t help but think that he looked somewhat pitiful, as well.
If there was something he learnt after all these months they spent together, it was that despite his family’s wealth and prosperity, Wang Yibo probably did not have as happy of a childhood as most people would think he had. The younger man did not tell him that, obviously, but his habits and behaviors that Xiao Zhan had observed all pointed towards one conclusion.
“Yibo, after that red light, take the right turn and then a left.”
“Are we close to your house?”
“Mm-hm, just a little bit more. I’ve texted Uncle Li and told him we will be arriving soon.”
Perhaps wealth and prosperity really could not become a measurement for someone’s happiness. Yet Xiao Zhan immediately dismissed this thought. Whatever situation Wang Yibo’s family had in the past and still have until now, it was not his place to meddle in as he was only an outsider. It would be nice if his assumptions were wrong, and that this person was raised with love and care from his closest ones. But even if he were right, all he had to do was to make sure that the present would be as fulfilling as possible.
That even if Wang Yibo might have been unhappy in the past, right now and from today onwards, he would live a good life that he could fondly look back into in the future.
“Zhan Zhan, welcome home!”
“Uncle Li, it’s been awhile. I’m back!”
A friendly, kind-looking middle-aged man appeared from a modest home standing near the riverbank. Xiao Zhan’s smile blossomed as soon as he went out of the car, and the two shared a long, tight hug on the terrace. Uncle Li patted his arms several times; a familiar, yet nostalgic smile drawn on his aging face, and then he looked past his nephew at a foreign young man that he had never seen before.
“Is this that friend of yours that you told us on the phone?” he asked.
“Yes, Uncle. We’ll be imposing on you for the next one week.”
“Now don’t say that. Hello there! What’s your name?”
“I’m Wang Yibo. Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Li,” bowing politely, Wang Yibo greeted the older man and immediately received a firm handshake.
‘It’s okay, it’s okay. No need to be so formal. You can call me uncle, too,” the older man laughed, “Well then, are these all of your belongings? A small suitcase and a backpack?”
“Yes, Uncle. Oh, and we also brought some snacks from the city. It’s in the trunk,” Xiao Zhan said and was just about to return to the car, yet his uncle stopped him.
“Nah, it’s alright, we can take care of it later. Why don’t you go inside first? Your grandmother’s been so eager to see you she almost didn’t sleep a wink last night.”
“Oh, I-I see… Where is she now?”
“In the backyard as usual. Don’t try to surprise her, though. She might fall off her chair and sprain her waist.”
His friendly uncle laughed and smacked him once in the back. Xiao Zhan, too, could only answer with a smile and chuckled at his jest. He lifted his face then, and he saw the somehow petrified Wang Yibo still standing beside his car, quietly staring at the two of them sharing a small banter. The younger man looked both lost and confused. When their eyes met, it was as though Wang Yibo had just found an exit route after having been trapped in a maze and he looked like he was asking for guidance on what he was supposed to do.
Seeing his reaction, Xiao Zhan smiled and nodded at him.
“Come on, Yibo. Let’s go meet Grandma.”
“Oh… Okay…”
His movements and gestures were awkward, unlike his usually confident self. Xiao Zhan didn’t think that he still had some nervous bones left in him and this was actually quite surprising. He didn’t say it aloud, however, as he continued leading the way into the house and towards another door at the other side of the building.
There, at the porch by the backyard facing an endless paddy field at the foot of the mountain, an elderly woman was quietly sitting on a rocking chair.
“...Grandma.”
The chair stopped its slow movement. The old lady seemed a bit stunned, yet she turned around to see the owner of the voice who had just called for her. There was a small device in her ear, similar to what he was wearing. At that moment, Xiao Zhan thought his heart was about to burst.
“Zhan Zhan?”
“Grandma--!”
Without thinking, Xiao Zhan rushed towards her, falling on his knees as he threw himself onto her lap. His grandmother was surprised, but a toothless smile soon appeared on her wrinkled face as she hugged him and rubbed his back. Her voice was rather hoarse from age, but the same gentleness from his memory still remained.
“Zhan Zhan, you’re finally here. How’s your journey from the city?”
“It was fine, Grandma. There was no traffic and the weather was good. We didn’t encounter any problem.”
“Good, good. Glad to hear that. Maybe the clouds know that Zhan Zhan is coming back after such a long time. That’s why they’re holding back from making it rain.”
It was such a nostalgic feeling, a nostalgic voice, a nostalgic scent. Xiao Zhan felt like he was on the brink of tears, but at the same time he couldn’t stop himself from grinning and laughing. He rose from his grandmother’s lap and briskly rubbed his eyes. Sniffling once, he looked at her face and smiled.
“How’s the hearing aid, Grandma? Is it working well?”
“Yes, I can finally watch TV again without receiving complaints from our neighbors for raising the volume too high,” she said, and they both laughed. The elderly woman ruffled his hair. “You’re already so big now. Did you grow taller while living in the city?”
“How could I grow taller when I’m already at this age? Grandma, don’t tell me you forget how I look like.”
“That might be true. We haven’t seen each other for a long time, my memory might fail me.”
His grandmother squinted her eyes as she laughed again. She looked over his shoulders then, and it was at that moment she noticed yet another young man standing at the door, maintaining a small distance from them. A kind smile rose to her face.
“Oh, is this him? Zhan Zhan’s special friend?”
“Ah, yes, Grandma. This is Wang Yibo. He’s been driving me all the way from the city so I didn’t have to take the bus,” Xiao Zhan said.
“Hello...”
Again, Wang Yibo bowed politely and resumed to stand still like a statue; hands joined together in front. The elderly woman slowly rose from her rocking chair with the help of his grandson. Walking in small steps, she approached the younger man and gently patted his arm.
“Ooh, what a handsome young man. Zhan Zhan, where did you find him?”
“Definitely not in the shop,” Xiao Zhan laughed, “Just kidding. We met when I was doing one of my deliveries awhile ago.”
“I see. Wang Yibo, is it? Wah, you look really young. How old are you?”
“I… I will be twenty three this year,” Wang Yibo stuttered nervously, perhaps not expecting to be asked such a question out of the blue.
“So young, so young. And I heard you are already running a business of your own? Our Zhan Zhan is six years older than you, but he is still like this.”
“Grandmaaaa…”
“Just kidding,” to her grandson’s protest, she laughed and showed her toothless smile again. The old woman returned her attention to the younger man. “Zhan Zhan told me you’ve been helping him a lot. Thank you for taking care of our Zhan Zhan. I hope he is not causing too much trouble for you.”
“Oh, no, no, no. Zhan- ge has never caused any trouble. He’s also helped me and often cooked for me. I’m the one who’s actually been imposing on him,” Wang Yibo quickly answered. Xiao Zhan could only wonder when this person became so timid as he had never once shown this kind of attitude in front of him.
“See, Zhan Zhan, your friend is not only handsome and successful, but also has a good manner. You should learn from him.”
“I understand, Grandma, I understand. Wang- laoshi , please kindly give me your guidance from now on.”
He pretended to bow and salute him. The bewildered look on Wang Yibo’s face at his action was so priceless that both he and his grandmother both burst into laughter almost at the same time. He had never seen this person being so overwhelmed like this. For once, he finally acted his age, Xiao Zhan thought.
“Well then, now that the two of you are already here, go get some rest first. You must be tired from the long trip,” his grandmother said, “It’s good that you arrive before dark. I will go prepare dinner for us now.”
“Do you need help, Grandma?”
“It’s okay, Zhan Zhan. It’s been awhile since you’re back, so you can relax. Why don’t you show the room to your friend first?”
As she said that, his grandmother went inside and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the two of them at the porch. Xiao Zhan glanced at the person beside him. Somehow, Wang Yibo was still looking inside, as if following the figure of his grandmother although she could no longer be seen from there. Rather than nervous, it looked like he had no idea what to do, what to say, and how he was supposed to behave. This really was a first for Xiao Zhan to see him acting like this. A faint smile rose into his face. Quietly, he approached the younger man and nudged at his arm.
“Yibo, let’s bring our stuff to the room,” he said.
“Oh… Okay…”
Wang Yibo obediently agreed. They returned to the car parked in front, picking up their luggage and a box of snacks they brought as souvenirs, which they later handed to Uncle Li who looked very excited to see various types of foods and drinks from the city.
Xiao Zhan’s family house was a typical kind of house in the countryside. It was not that grand, and the building itself already looked quite old. Nevertheless, it was still bigger than regular houses in the big cities. There were three bedrooms; one for his grandmother, one belongs to Uncle Li, while the other was the room he used to live in before he departed to find work at the metropolitan. His family had kept the room the way it was before he left, thinking that he could stay there whenever he decided to come back.
Of course, now that he had returned, it was where he would be sleeping during his stay.
“I’m sorry the room is small,” Xiao Zhan said as they entered his old bedroom, turning on the lights. He saw Wang Yibo sweeping his gaze around, not giving him an answer immediately. It really was just an ordinary room with nothing of particular interest, and it certainly wasn’t as pretty as the hotel room they stayed in on the way back here. He worried that the younger man might find discomfort since he was not used to staying in such a puny, modest place.
“Umm, we still have the air conditioner installed,” he added, smiling nervously, “And the bed is a little bigger than the one at my apartment, so it wouldn’t be as cramped.”
“Is this your room?” instead of responding to his remark, Wang Yibo asked him another question of a different topic. Xiao Zhan slightly tilted his head, bewildered.
“Yes, it is,” replied him.
“So you used to live here back then?”
“Yes… Is...something the matter?” Xiao Zhan stared at him.
Again, instead of answering, Wang Yibo only scanned his surroundings, looking at the entire room from one corner to the other. His eyes eventually stopped at a small desk near the window. On top of it, there was an old picture frame with the photo behind the glass cover already started fading. It was the picture of a young couple and a little boy.
“This is?” Wang Yibo turned at him.
“Oh, it’s my parents,” as he said that, Xiao Zhan approached the desk, looking at the picture frame. It used to be one of the first things he saw when he woke up in the morning, but ever since he moved to the city, that was no longer the case. It really was an old photo taken before he was even ten years old. Had it not been for this picture, he might have long forgotten how his parents looked.
“So this is you?” the younger man pointed at the boy in the photo.
“Yes.”
“When was this taken?”
“I forgot... I think I was seven or eight years old back then, which means...about twenty years ago?” rubbing his chin, Xiao Zhan looked up to the ceiling while racking his brain, “It should be during summer holiday when I was in elementary school.”
“Did you go on a trip?”
“Hmm, I don’t think it counts as a trip. There used to be this small amusement park in the neighboring town. We went there every once in a while, especially during school vacation. This photo was taken there.”
“Oh…”
There was it again, that obscure response and the blank stare that followed. Not even an hour ago, this person was so excited and curious that he kept asking and pointing at many things they encountered on the road, but ever since they arrived at his house, all of a sudden he went silent as if his high spirit all evaporated into thin air. In the beginning, Xiao Zhan thought he was simply a bit uneasy upon meeting his uncle and grandmother, two complete strangers that happened to be very friendly, yet sometimes overwhelming. However, there were only the two of them now in this room, so there was no reason for him to be nervous or restless. Xiao Zhan could only wonder why Wang Yibo suddenly behaved as though he was a different person.
“...Yibo,” Xiao Zhan nudged at his side, drawing his attention, “Do you want to go outside for a bit?”
“Outside?”
“Mn. Let’s go for a walk. I’ll show you around.”
“But isn’t your Grandma…?” Wang Yibo raised his eyebrows, but Xiao Zhan smiled and tugged at his arm.
“It’s okay as long as we tell her that we’re going out. It will take a while for her to be done with her cooking anyway. We won’t be leaving for long,” he said, “Come.”
Just like that, he dragged the younger man out of the room, informing his family that they would be taking a walk outside before leaving the house. It didn’t cross his mind at first, but as the two of them were once again basking under the warm afternoon sun - him walking in front, and Wang Yibo trailing behind him like a lost child - Xiao Zhan thought their situation had been reversed. Back then, it was always him following this person around as he would suddenly pull him or take him to a place he had never visited before. Thinking about it now, Xiao Zhan couldn’t help but swallow his smile.
“Thankfully he couldn’t see my face from there. He would’ve started pouting again if he knows.”
The road in front of his family’s house was wide enough for two cars and perhaps a bike to pass side by side. Nevertheless, unlike in the city, it was mostly clear with barely any cars passing by. Sometimes, there would be big trucks transporting harvests, but it only happened every once in a while. Most of the time, only bicycles and people walking by the roadside would be visible.
Xiao Zhan encountered some of his neighbors along the way; many of them were uncles and aunts who were friends with his grandmother or his late parents and watched him grow up. Granted, they were surprised to see him back, and even more so because he brought back a handsome young friend out of the blue. It was funny to see Wang Yibo reacting to these townspeople’s friendliness. He was clearly not used to it, and the most he could afford was to greet and bow at each one of them politely before being overwhelmed once again by their barrage of questions. As one who grew up in the countryside, this kind of behavior from the elders was not something unusual for Xiao Zhan, but he understood that they might appear “too intruding” for someone like Wang Yibo who had been living his entire life among individualistic citizens of the metropolitan. He looked so pitiful, Xiao Zhan thought, and eventually, he decided to take him somewhere a bit more quiet where they would be less likely to meet other people.
“Let’s sit over there.”
Walking down to the riverbank, Xiao Zhan found a spot where the ground was sloping and the grass was not too high. It was mostly covered by bright-colored small pebbles and rough sand, and directly in front of that spot was the clear river separating this area with the one on the other side. The stream was not too swift, but they could still hear the water gurgling and crashing against some big rocks sitting at the edge. The spring breeze was calm and soothing. Inhaling the fresh air into his lungs, Xiao Zhan settled down and patted an empty spot beside him.
“Here, Yibo,” he softly urged the younger man.
There was a little bit of hesitance in the other’s eyes, but Wang Yibo complied to his suggestion without much complaint. He sat down next to him, hugging his knees while absentmindedly sweeping his gaze across the scenic view.
“Are you alright?”
Those dark eyes immediately turned to him the moment Xiao Zhan uttered that question. They were rather surprised, stunned, and also a bit nervous.
“You seem anxious from the moment we arrived here,” he told him again, “I thought you might find this place strange. Or maybe my family and neighbors have made you feel uncomfortable.”
“Oh… No, it’s not that,” replied Wang Yibo, but he did not elaborate further on his answer that it made Xiao Zhan even more concerned. Perhaps he did notice his worry, nevertheless, as the younger man then added another sentence. “Zhan- ge , you know a lot of people around here.”
“We live close to each other,” Xiao Zhan said, a subtle smile drawn on his face, “Before I moved to the city, we saw each other almost everyday. When I was going to school in the morning, when I was playing outside in the afternoon. Sometimes, Grandma and the aunties cooked together or borrowed each other’s cooking supplies.”
“What do you mean borrowing cooking supplies?”
“For example, there was one time when Grandma just realized she forgot to buy some bok choy when she was about to cook. She would then borrow some from the aunty next door and when she went shopping to the market the next day, she would buy more and return it to her.”
Wang Yibo gave him such a strange look that he didn’t even need to voice his thoughts aloud for Xiao Zhan to understand what he was thinking. He had been to Wang Yibo’s condominium a couple of times before. Putting aside the fact that this person couldn’t really cook, he barely saw anyone in the hallway when he came in and out. Even if they did come across his neighbors, the most Wang Yibo and those neighbors of his would do was to greet each other and return to minding their own business. In an environment like that, there was no way the residents were close enough with each other to borrow cooking supplies.
“Anyway, it was something like that. I realize that this habit isn’t as common in big cities, so it may sound weird to you,” he said.
“You couldn’t just order for the items to be delivered?”
“It was a long time ago. There was no online delivery service yet, and there were only traditional markets and small supermarkets around here. It would be faster to borrow from your neighbor instead of going out to buy it by yourself,” replied Xiao Zhan, “But of course, it is only if you have good relationship with your neighbors.”
“Oh…” nodding to himself, Wang Yibo went silent for a brief moment as though he was in the process of digesting this brand new information, “Then what about your playtime?”
“Playtime?”
“You said you would go to play outside in the afternoon. What were you playing?”
“Oh, it’s just the usual children games. Playing tag, kites... When it’s summer we would sometimes play in this river,” he pointed towards the stream in front of them.
“This river? What were you playing here?” the younger man frowned.
"Just playing with the water, splashing at each other and swimming a little bit. Sometimes we tried to catch fish with bare hands although there were more failures compared to success."
Xiao Zhan let out a small laugh. Recalling his childhood memories, a small fondness bloomed in his heart. He did lose his parents and had his hearing damaged at a very young age. He still remembers how devastated he was at that time. However, if he looked back on it, he considered himself to be quite lucky. At least his grandmother was there for him. After he received the hearing aid, he could return to school and meet his friends again. It didn't mean that there were no difficulties along the way, but he could say that he was content with what he had. His life was certainly not the most comfortable, but he was grateful for having a loving family and good friends.
And now that he had met this person, there was nothing more that he wished for other than to cherish and protect what he already had.
"...Yibo?"
Waking up from the brief moment of reminiscence, he noticed that the younger man sitting by his side was blankly staring at the river view before them. Xiao Zhan couldn't very well tell what he was thinking. He didn't look particularly disturbed, or sad, or angry, yet Xiao Zhan knew something must be bothering him.
"Yibo, are you okay? Are you tired?" he asked again.
"...I'm fine," the younger man said, and he fell silent again, taking a deep breath as the corner of his lips were pulled into a tiny smile, "You look happy, Zhan- ge . It must have been fun."
"Fun… Well, for a child, I suppose it does sound quite fun," rubbing the back of his neck, Xiao Zhan let out a small laugh, "It was nothing out of the ordinary. Since we didn't have many options in the countryside, those were about the only things we could do to entertain ourselves."
"No, it sounds fun," Wang YiBo shook his head; that same, tiny smile remained on his face, "I guess I'm just a bit jealous of your story. I wish I could've tried that, too."
"We could always try it if you want," playfully, Xiao Zhan nudged at his arms, "The water is still too cold in spring for us to jump in, but we could buy a couple of kites tomorrow and I'll teach you how to play with them. How does that sound?"
"...Zhan- ge , I---"
The younger man was just about to speak when his words came into an abrupt stop. Xiao Zhan stared at him, waiting for him to continue but instead, he saw Wang YiBo's eyes went wide. Then, he stood up all of a sudden, taking a few steps back as his expression was brimming with alarm.
"YiBo?"
"That…" he stuttered, "That, over there…"
"What is it?"
"There, near your legs…"
Unable to understand what the other person was trying to say, Xiao Zhan decided to follow his terrified gaze and looked down to the ground. On the grey pebbles and sand next to his left knee, a big grasshopper was sitting quietly, minding its own business.
Xiao Zhan almost burst into laughter.
"That's right. This kid is scared of bugs."
He picked up the poor insect. At that moment, he could almost see the younger man about to sprint away in a mad dash right there, thinking that he was planning to come closer while bringing that creature along. But Wang YiBo was fortunate this time as Xiao Zhan was not in the mood to be mischievous today. Walking towards an area with tall grass a small distance away, he threw the grasshopper and it quickly disappeared into the bushes.
"There, YiBo. It's gone," he called to the other person who was still standing far from him with a guarded expression.
"It's gone?" Wang YiBo asked.
"Yeah."
"It's really gone?"
"Really. I just threw it there and it went away."
“Oh… Okay…”
He said that, but the younger man did not dare come closer to him, still petrified where he stood. In the end, Xiao Zhan had to be the one to approach him.
“You don’t have to be that scared. It’s just a grasshopper, it won’t bite,” he said.
“But it looks disgusting.”
“Really you… What do you usually do if there’s a cockroach or something when you’re home alone?”
“The home cleaning service helped me exterminate them, although I haven’t seen one for a long time now.”
“...Alright,” Xiao Zhan could only sigh. He had forgotten that this person was living in a place completely different from his. “Anyway, you were about to say something earlier, right? What is it?”
“What?”
“Before you ran away from the grasshopper,” a teasing grin rose to his face, “Weren’t you about to tell me something?”
“Oh…”
Wang Yibo slightly cast his gaze down. Curious, Xiao Zhan patiently waited as he peered into his face. He couldn’t read his expression, let alone figuring out what he was thinking. However, the younger man then lifted his head and tugged at the tip of his shirt.
“Zhan- ge , I’m hungry,” he whined, “Is dinner ready yet?”
Not expecting such a response, Xiao Zhan was a bit stunned for a moment. Yet a smile soon bloomed into his face once more as he let out a small chuckle.
“Silly little kid,” playfully, he flicked the other’s forehead, “Alright, let’s go back home. Grandma should be done with her cooking soon.”
Wang Yibo snorted and smiled subtly. Xiao Zhan took it that he was satisfied for having pulled his usual trick on him as an excuse to act spoiled. He lightly smacked him in the back, both as a form of revenge and to gesture for the younger man to follow him. He led the way as the two of them left the serene riverbank. Just as before, Wang Yibo was obediently following behind him, treading onto the slope until they reached the main road.
What he did not realize was during the quiet moment they spent on their way back, that person was staring at him silently, like a child who wanted to speak but was too afraid to voice his mind.
He thought they were the only one for each other.
The day had gone far into the night. If they were in the city, it was actually still quite early; at this hour, many people would be hanging out in bars, going out to watch movies, and some might even be stuck in the crowded roads on their way home from work. Yet it was not the case in the countryside, or at least in this small neighborhood, the residents’ habit was quite different from those at the city.
In the old, modest room where Xiao Zhan used to live, Wang Yibo was lying on his back on the outer side of the bed. Beside him, the original owner of the room was already fast asleep, curling close to the wall as though to leave as much space as possible for him to sleep on, even though this old bed was bigger than the one that person had at his studio apartment. The lights in the house had been turned off. In this little room, only a small desk lamp was still shining at the other side, across from the bed. It wasn’t a pretty, decorative light for aesthetic purposes. Rather, it was an old lamp that Xiao Zhan seemed to use to study at night during his younger days when he was still living here in this house.
Wang Yibo found it difficult to fall asleep. Unlike Xiao Zhan who fell into a deep slumber within minutes after he laid down, Wang Yibo couldn’t seem to bring himself into the same state, even though he was supposed to be exhausted after driving for three days. Like a movie roll, the events unfolding today kept replaying themselves in his head again and again.
They were good people, this family of Xiao Zhan. The man called Uncle Li, although a bit too talkative to his liking, was very friendly and he was more than willing to teach him about things he wasn’t familiar with about life in the countryside. He had a small farm, apparently, and even if he did not make that much, it was enough to sustain the living of two people. Occasionally, he would also help out his neighbors who had bigger farms during the busy harvest season, and they would give him a small amount of their harvest as a thank you gift.
Xiao Zhan’s grandmother was the kindest person Wang Yibo had ever met. She was gentle, but at the same time she had a strong personality, someone who could not be swayed easily once she set her mind onto something. Wang Yibo understood now why Xiao Zhan grew up to be the kind of person he was. And the meals she cooked were indeed out of this world, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it was more delicious than most restaurant foods out there.
But more than anything, it was the warmest dinner Wang Yibo had ever experienced in his life. He was used to eating alone since he was a child. Other than during lunch meetings or work-related banquets, before he met Xiao Zhan, he had never dined with anyone else but himself. It was the first time he saw a dining table looking so bright and lively, filled not only with good foods, but also small talks and banters between those sitting around the table.
It would be a lie if he said he wasn’t happy; this would probably become one of the most unforgettable experiences that he would bring even to his grave. Ironically, however, the warm atmosphere, the friendly chats, the peaceful, loving family he saw with his own eyes today was the very same reason that caused his uneasiness since the moment they arrived at this place.
Letting out a long sigh, Wang Yibo eventually rose and sat up at the side of the bed. He looked over his shoulder, finding that person’s serene face lying beside him. He could see Xiao Zhan’s shoulders slightly rising and falling in a regular interval; his long eyelashes perfecting his pretty double eyelids.
He loved Xiao Zhan’s sleeping face. Carefully, he reached out to that person, running his finger through his fluffy black hair. Xiao Zhan did not wake up; his eyes remaining closed and the rhythm of his breathing undisturbed. Wang Yibo still remembered clearly, during the first few times he had a sleep over at this person’s place, Xiao Zhan was an extremely light sleeper. He would notice even the slightest touch, he would wake up when someone turned and shifted in bed. It seems that his damaged hearing was the cause for this habit. Because he could barely hear any sound without the hearing aid, his body trained itself to constantly be on alert towards everything. That one time when he could lift him up on the bed without waking him up, it was probably nothing more than a special case as this person was ill and extremely exhausted.
But as time passed, he noticed that Xiao Zhan was gradually becoming more relaxed. Now, even if he touched him like this, that person would not wake up. It might sound somewhat strange, but Wang Yibo considered this to be a personal achievement of his.
That his presence would allow this person to feel at peace.
“...Zhan- ge , I’ll be going out for a bit.”
He knew Xiao Zhan would not be able to hear him, but still he said it nonetheless. Slowly, he rose from the bed, walking towards the door and left the bedroom.
Wang Yibo hated darkness. He could not see anything. He could not sense anything. It made him feel like he was the only person left in the world, alone and forgotten. All lights inside the house had been turned off, leaving only the ones at the front and back porch that cast a shade of light through the transom windows, just enough for one to find their way around the humble residence. He would not normally dare to go out in these circumstances, yet somehow he still did anyway. He had no idea what pushed him to do so. Without looking to his left and right, Wang Yibo headed straight for the back door, slipping out to the terrace.
A cloudless sky full of stars. It was something that he had never seen before, something he could never witness in the city as nature was often overpowered by man made lights over there. The spring breeze during the night was cold, especially so in mountainous areas like this. Yet the scenic view was more than enough to counter the low temperature. Tightening his jacket, Wang Yibo closed the door behind him, taking a few steps forward onto the porch.
There was a long chair made of bamboo to his left side. On the right, the rocking chair that Xiao Zhan’s grandmother was sitting on during the day sat quietly while facing the vast scenery. Both objects, of course, were common things that one could easily find in furniture stores. Wang Yibo himself had often seen them in several movies that he’d watched. However, this was the first time he actually saw a real rocking chair, and as childish as it sounded, he was curious as to how it would feel to sit on one.
“Nobody would mind if I try it for a little bit, right?”
There was no one watching him. As long as he didn’t move the chair elsewhere, nobody would find out what he did. With this thought in mind, he approached the said object and settled down; a tiny excitement quietly growing in his heart. The chair swayed back slightly the moment he leaned back. Wang Yibo thought he was about to flip over, but the chair returned to sway forward, then backward, then forward again. In a sense, it was somewhat similar to riding a swing, except he stayed in one place. Or perhaps it would be better to say that it felt like he was being cradled.
A happy smile bloomed into his face. This didn’t feel so bad at all. In fact, to be leaning on a rocking chair like this, gazing at the beautiful view spreading up ahead was nothing less than comfortable. He understood now why the elderly people he saw in movies liked to sit on their rocking chair, either on the terrace or by the window. The memory of Xiao Zhan’s grandmother sitting on this chair earlier today came back to him. How pleasant it looked, how cozy it must’ve felt… How warm the hug she gave to her grandson as that person threw himself onto her lap; his voice cracking as though he was about to cry.
At that moment, Wang Yibo’s smile began to dim.
He was a single child born into a wealthy family. His parents were both successful entrepreneurs, and as far as he could remember, they were always working, day and night, never having the time to pay him any mind. He grew up in a big mansion with dozens of servants taking care of the house and garden, and they, too, were always too busy to accompany him. He could barely see the house of his neighbors across the street, let alone having someone around his age to play with.
He had a lot of toys, but they could not talk to him, and he to them. He had a lot of schoolmates, but they were all too scared to approach him, save for a few shameless bunch who chased him for his money. He had a lot of colleagues, partners, subordinates… But these people weren’t his friends. And he knew they only stayed with him because each had a certain intention in mind.
In his memories, he was always alone.
It was the reason why, when he saw that person, he was immediately attracted to him even before he could realize it himself. Perhaps it was because he felt that they were in the same boat. Living in the unforgiving big city, having to struggle on his own amidst his limitations without no one to rely on, no one he could talk to - although their circumstances were different, as he watched that person, the feeling of isolation inside him began to lessen little by little. “So I am not the only one” , maybe it was this feeling of solidarity that caused him to constantly seek that person’s companion. He wanted to talk to him, stay with him, protect him - so that neither of them would have to be alone anymore. In a world where nobody cares about them, at least that person still has him, and he still has that person.
He thought they were the only one for each other.
But he was wrong.
Unlike him, Xiao Zhan still had a family who loved him. Unlike him, Xiao Zhan still had friends and acquaintances who were happy to see him. Even if he was not here, that person would not be alone. Even if he was not here, that person would still have people who were waiting for him. All this time, he had been thinking too highly of himself. That he was that person’s only companion, that person’s only world. In reality, it was only him, him alone, who didn’t have anyone else in his life. For Xiao Zhan. he was never the only one he had.
If one day, that person decided that he didn’t need him anymore, then…
“Little Bobo, is that you?”
Wang Yibo immediately jumped from the rocking chair, almost toppling it off. To say that he was surprised was an understatement; he was scared to death as if his heart was about to stop. The door to the terrace was opened. By its side, an elderly woman already in her night dress, wearing a warm, knitted scarf, stood while looking at him, bewildered.
“Oh, g-g-good evening--”
“It’s alright. No need to be so formal, I am not angry with you,” a kind smile drawn on her wrinkled face, Xiao Zhan’s grandmother approached him as she waved her hand, “Actually, it is alright if you want to call me ‘Grandma’, too.”
“It’s… It’s alright?”
“Of course. You are a friend of Zhan Zhan. Why are you not allowed to call his grandmother ‘Grandma’?” she laughed, “It’s already so late. Little Bobo, what are you doing here?”
“I, umm, it’s...nothing, just… I want to see the stars for a bit…”
“I see. Yes, yes, indeed. A night sky like this you cannot see from the bright city, isn’t it?”
The elderly woman approached him and stood by his side. Wang Yibo did not know what he should do, what he was supposed to say. The silence between them was heavier than anything he had ever felt.
“Umm… Why...is Grandma not asleep yet?” eventually, he decided to ask the first thing that came to his mind.
“When you’ve gotten to my age, you’ll get tired and sleepy easily, but at the same time you don’t need as much sleep as the young people. Once you wake up, it’s difficult to fall asleep again, even if it’s in the middle of the night,” replied her, but then she chuckled and continued, “But I think I cannot fall asleep tonight because I feel happy that Zhan Zhan finally comes back to visit, and with a friend, too.”
“Has he...been away for a long time?”
“It’s been more than three years. In the first month when he just moved to the city, he used to return several times to pick up some things he could not take along with him the first time he left. But once he settled down, that child hasn’t visited us even once. Sometimes I worry that he might be working himself too hard.”
And she was right to worry, Wang Yibo thought. Xiao Zhan tends to overexert himself and even now, that habit of his hadn’t changed much. If only she knew that her grandson had been working himself to the point he became sick and got into an accident...
"Little Bobo, how was dinner tonight? Was it to your liking?"
"Oh, y-yes! Yes, of course. It was really good," caught off guard by the sudden question, he stuttered.
"That's a relief. When I asked him what you like to eat, Zhan Zhan only said that you can eat everything. That's why I could only try to guess and hope that you would like it."
"It was delicious. Even better than Zhan- ge 's cooking."
"Of course. Because he learnt from me," the elderly woman said proudly and laughed. Wang YiBo couldn't help but smile a little, as well, recalling that Xiao Zhan had once said something along the same line. The old lady asked him again. "Do you often eat Zhan Zhan’s cooking?”
“Mn. After work, I would go to his apartment and we would have dinner together. Zhan- ge said it’s a waste of money to keep buying take-outs and he would rather cook for us. Sometimes, we would go shopping for groceries together at the supermarket.”
“It sounds like you guys are really close,” replied her, somewhat pleased, “Have you known each other for a while?”
“It’s been...about a year…”
“Oh…”
Xiao Zhan’s grandmother looked taken aback. She averted her gaze briefly, as if thinking about something. Wang Yibo could not tell what she had in her mind, and he was a bit worried that he might have said something wrong. Nevertheless, the elderly woman then shook her head and smiled, letting out a faint sigh as she returned to face him.
“A few months ago, when Zhan Zhan called us to say he would be coming back this spring, I was quite surprised when he said he wanted to bring a friend over,” she said, “He has never invited anyone to his house before. Not his schoolmates, not the other children in the neighborhood. He gets along well with everyone, but he is never particularly close to anyone. Little Bobo, you must be very special to him.”
In what way was he special, Wang Yibo wanted to ask, but decided to keep it to himself. Yet the old lady seemed to understand what he was thinking.
“To be honest, when he said he wanted to find a job in the city, we were all very worried about him. He didn’t say it, but we know why he wanted to go there. Even if he has no one he knows in the city, even with his condition… His uncle and I never expect him to return anything to us, but that child is really a stubborn one,” she continued; her face painted with both affection and sadness, “That’s why, when he told us about you, even though I was surprised, at the same time I felt relieved and happy.”
She looked at him and smiled.
“Thank you for being there for him.”
Wang Yibo was at loss for words. If it was only a joke for formality’s sake, he could’ve easily brushed it off with a smile, but if someone was thanking him sincerely, more so because it was the one who had raised that person since he was a child, how was he supposed to answer?
At that moment, Xiao Zhan’s grandmother lifted her hand and stroked his hair.
“You are still so young,” she said fondly, “To be able to stand on your own and support another, you are really a strong child. Zhan Zhan is truly fortunate to have met you.”
“I… I’m not really…”
“My grandson…is not the easiest person to deal with. He will say he is fine when he isn’t, will try to put on a strong front when at his weakest. He has many limitations and shortcomings, and he might cause you many troubles. Despite all this, are you still willing to be by his side?”
Her question was unlike a guardian trying to make sure that her grandchild was in good hands. She looked like she did not want to impose on him, someone several decades younger than her whom she only met for the first time. But at the same time, she was worried for her grandchild and wished for nothing more than his safety and well-being. Wang Yibo had never seen anyone asking him like this. An unknown feeling began to sprout in his heart, threatening to burst out of his chest. Nevertheless, he still tried to pull himself together and answered firmly.
“Of course. Zhan- ge … Zhan- ge is very important to me. I will not leave him,” he said. He saw the pair of old eyes before him widened ever so slightly, but then a smile was drawn on that wrinkled face. The elderly woman stepped forward and hugged him, patting him on the back.
“Thank you,” she whispered, “Thank you very much.”
Wang Yibo was petrified. He had never been hugged like this, much less being rubbed on the back, being told that he was good and that the other person was grateful for what he had done. He had received countless praises, but none like this. He did not know what to do. His lips trembled, and his hands were hanging mid-air, not knowing where they should go.
“I didn’t know that I can still get another grandchild at this age,” she said again, a small laughter painting her voice, “You have the same eyes as that child long ago. You, too, must have been through a lot. If there is something that you need, if there is something that you wish to talk about, Grandma will listen to you, so come here anytime you want.”
“I...can?”
“Of course you can. Our house is small and old, but you are always welcome to stay. It will be your home, too, should you wish for it.”
Her voice was soft, but it struck him so hard that he inadvertently held his breath. His eyes felt hot, although there were no tears welling up. Hesitantly, Wang Yibo placed his face on the elderly woman’s shoulder. She was thin and delicate, but at the same time strong and warm. He placed his hands on her small back. Before he knew it, he had let himself be drowned in her embrace, hiding his face as he clutched onto her.
He could not see it, but as much as she was surprised, Xiao Zhan’s grandmother smiled affectionately and continued to pat him on the back.
“Look at you. You really are a very handsome child,” as they separated, she placed her hands on his cheeks, cupping his face, “I really wonder how Zhan Zhan could come across someone as good-looking as you.”
“Zhan- ge is good-looking, too,” Wang Yibo laughed and shyly smiled. He couldn’t very well describe why, but his heart now was gradually becoming lighter; an invisible huge, heavy load plaguing him all day had finally disappeared.
“No, no, you don’t understand. This is the kind of face that will bring a lot of luck. Look at these full cheeks. You will have lots of fortunes waiting to come for you in life.”
Wang Yibo could only laugh. Once again, the elderly woman smiled at him and patted his arms, fixing his jacket.
“It’s getting cold. We should come inside,” she told him, “You must be tired after driving for days. Go back to sleep.”
“I will,” obediently, Wang Yibo nodded, “Good night...Grandma…”
“Good night, Little Bobo. See you tomorrow.”
They exchanged a smile once more, and then he returned ahead of her into the house.
Upon reaching their room, he saw that Xiao Zhan was still asleep, not moving in the slightest bit as he remained curled up next to the wall. Wang Yibo removed his jacket. Carefully, he sat on the side of the bed, peering into that person’s tranquil face, his rising and falling shoulders safely tucked underneath the blanket. It was strange. Just now, he had been feeling so uneasy and scared, but now nothing else but contentment remains. The contentment of seeing this person beside him, sleeping at his side while entrusting his entire being to him, and the knowledge that when morning comes tomorrow, they would see each other once again.
Wang Yibo lied down on his side, facing that person as he slid into their shared blanket. He held out his hand, carefully stroking Xiao Zhan’s face from his temple to his cheek. It was just a sudden urge. Somehow, he wanted to sleep closer to him, and that was exactly what he did next. Wang Yibo shifted forward, placing himself just below the other’s chin and slightly snuggled into the crook of his neck. If Xiao Zhan woke up, he would pretend to be asleep so he didn’t have to move from this position.
“...Hmm?”
All of a sudden, he felt the person before him moving. Xiao Zhan sloppily threw his arms over him, pulling him close to his chest and hugged him as though he was a pillow. At first, Wang Yibo thought he was awake, but he was proven wrong not even a second later.
“...is o...ay… ‘leep… S...eep…”
As he said it, Xiao Zhan patted his back a few times before becoming quiet again, still hugging him. Whether those were meant to be actual words or just some incoherent mumbles, Wang Yibo did not know. The way that person held him and patted his back felt like he was consoling a child, and he had no idea if it was done consciously or not. From what he saw, nevertheless, it looked like Xiao Zhan was simply talking in his sleep.
A smile rose to his face.
Wang Yibo circled his arms around the other’s back, hugging him, as well. Just like that, he shifted closer and buried his face into that person’s chest, both covered by the fluffy blanket. The scent of shampoo and soap Xiao Zhan used to bath was still wafting in the air albeit faint, surrounding him as they laid side by side, snuggling to each other - him into the crook of his neck, and Xiao Zhan placing his chin on top of his hair.
He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath then letting them out. He did not need anything else. If they could stay like this tonight, tomorrow night, and the nights after, it would be more than enough for him, more than any wealth or fortune the world could offer.
Before letting his consciousness slip away as he fell into slumber, Wang Yibo thought and spoke to that person in his mind.
“Zhan-ge. Tomorrow, let’s play kites by the river.”