Chapter Text
It had been a week of radio silence from Callum. He didn't post anything, he didn't talk to her, and he didn't come to practice. This was fine, because they had a whole month till their next competition. But it was also not fine.
She felt really, really lonely. She was so used to being alone. Why was it worse now? She was really worried about him. Duke was so far away. North Carolina. Would he go? She didn’t want him to go, she really didn’t.
She was laying in her bed, simultaneously too hot and too cold, when her phone rang.
“Callum?” She asked immediately, instead of saying hello.
“Hey.” He said. His voice sounded scrapey.
“Where have you been? Soren messaged my Instagram and asked me why you hadn’t been into work, and his sister said that you weren’t in school either.”
“Can you pack a bag?” He said.
“What?”
“I’m in my car. Outside your house. Spring break is this week.”
“And...?”
“And I’m gonna drive down the coast.”
Rayla stopped and contemplated for a second. “I’ll be out in five.”
It was that blue hour of morning before the sun was up and everything was a dozen shades of blue. Callum was in his car, his hair messy and two coffees in the drink holders he'd made them himself, she could tell by the handwriting on the lids.
She tossed her duffel bag in the back and sat in the front seat as he pulled off. There wasn't any music playing and they didn't talk at all, and Rayla just watched the sun rise from the window and drank her coffee. He'd made it at home, probably. He had an espresso machine and all of the ingredients.
It tasted familiar.
“Mocha Latte.” he said. “You ordered it on the day we met.”
“Ye didn't get me a hot chocolate?”
“I thought you’d appreciate the caffeine.” he paused, still looking at the road. “I did make you one, you know? I brought it out and you were gone.”
“Ethari told me it was time to go.” she said. They fell into silence for another pregnant moment before he said:
“You know that man from the American Ballet Theater?”
“What, Raymond Carson?”
“He’s my birth father.” Callum said. His knuckles were white on the wheel, and Rayla noticed a shine in his eyes.
“Callum, pull over.” she said. “You're in no fit state to drive, pull over.” he did, and they crossed the little highway on a cliffside, jumping the safety barrier to sit on the edge, feet dangling and chests slung over the handrail.
“Amaya told me about him. He offered my mom a position on a scholarship, but she had to sleep with him in order to keep it. And she was trying to finish school, but she loved dance so much... When she got pregnant with me, she tried to hide it. They'd offered her a spot as the principal dancer. She couldn't give it up. And Raymond told her she had to keep me. She didn't want to. She wanted to dance more.”
“Callum-”
“I don't want your opinion on it, Rayla.” He said, his voice cracked. “They kicked her out of the company. Carson left her high and dry. She had to finish school as a single mom and she struggled. I ended her dancing career.”
“I’m sure yer mum loved you-”
“She never wanted me to dance.” Callum said. “Amaya told me. She never wanted me to dance because it ruined her life. She was never okay- we were never okay until my dad came and married her and he had money. He knew. Harrow- my dad knew. It's why he wants me to go to a good school, because he wants me to have everything, he wants me to be okay and not like my mom.” He was crying now, full force, and Rayla had no idea what to do. She realized, softly, that it was the first time she'd heard him refer to Dr. Katolis as his dad, and not his step-father. “There’s a restraining order against him. He’s not supposed to be in my life, ever.”
“Did he know who you were?”
Callum nodded. “I don't think he knew I was dancing.”
Rayla looked at the ocean. The sun was actually up now, although everything had been pink a few minutes ago. “Well, I think you’re better than ABT, anyways.”
“And my dad thinks I’m better than Duke.” Callum said. “I think it would be nice, you know, to go to school with other kids like me. Geniuses.”
“You’re calling yourself a genius?”
“It’s the technical term.” Callum said. “You of all people know I’m stupid as all get out. Just the whole memory thing, I’m good at problem solving.”
“Naturally incredible at Ballet.” Rayla muttered. Callum took her hand. He had paint on the side, yellow, some blue on the fingernails, and a slew of flesh tones that looked like he was plain bad at matching foundation.
“Can’t you tell I’m stupid about the things that matter, though?”
“Yer callin’ Ballet stupid?” He laughed, dropping his head into the crook of his elbow. His shoulders shook silently. Rayla’s heart was so low it was like it was in her stomach. She felt nervous, like she never had before. It was a billion times worse than before going on stage.
“This whole week... I broke my phone, cause I was angry at my dad... both of them, I guess. Harrow and my father. And I was talking to Ez, and Amaya, and my dad... Soren and Claudia came over, so I explained it all to them, but all I could think about was talking to you. Telling you everything that had happened. I just wanted to come back to you. And I wanted to dance with you again, but more than that.”
Oh, this was really happening to her right now.
“I wanted to see you laugh, and blush when I put pomade in my hair, and do that hand flexing thing you do before going across the floor.” He looked up at her, with this perfect little half smile and sparkle in his eye. “Rayla... I think I’m falling in love with you.”
“You’re not joking.” She said.
He cracked up again. “No. And not just like a friend, thanks.” He moved his other hand to push her little baby hairs away from her face, even though they fell back right away. “I love that you have a Scottish accent even though you’ve been living in California for most of your life. I love that you dance in your room even though you have a literal studio downstairs. I love that you can't drink your coffee black and you hide three bags of Cheeto puffs under your bed.”
“Ah, fuck.” She said, putting a hand to her mouth. She was laughing, even though she didn’t want to, because his face was so bright.
“And I’ve been a mess. Like, such a mess. I repainted my room, and finished all of my AP portfolio works for the year, and totally reinvented my wardrobe. I didn’t buy a lot of clothes, just got rid of a bunch. And I was two seconds away from dyeing my hair before realizing Ethari would murder me. So I didn’t want to come here and put this all on you, but then I realized that you told me everything about your past, and I could help you, and you’re the only one I want to help me.”
“Callum, ye talk a lot.” Rayla said, taking the hand that was still by her face.
“Well, some of the words have got to be the right ones, right?” He asked.
“Yeah. They’re all the right ones. For once.”
This kiss wasn’t scripted. It was sitting, bumping noses, curiosity about different things now that it wasn’t on a stage. It was warm in the sun, and sprayed from the sea below them. Like a scene from a movie. Another car drove by, and they separated, laughing.
“I think we should go to Six flags.” Callum said.
“Why not?” Rayla said.
Callum had spent an entire week thinking about Duke, and ABT, and Raymond Carson, so he was determined to have a whole three days without thinking about any of it. His dad had agreed to it. Granted, he didn’t know that he’d picked up Rayla. They’d gotten together all of an hour ago, it’s not like they were gonna have sex, or anything.
He was embarrassed even thinking about it.
Rayla was bopping to whatever playlist she had hijacked the aux cord to listen to.
He could not believe he just kissed her. Like, a real kiss with the girl he was in love with.
“Your phone is ringing.” She said, turning down the volume. “It’s your dad.”
Callum winced.
“Your dad likes me, right? Will he be annoyed if I answer?”
“My dad still thinks you’re a bad influence because you stabbed your dad in the leg.”
“Accident! I love my dad.” She picked up the phone. “Hi, Doctor Katolis!”
“Rayla-” She put it on speaker.
“Rayla, is callum with you?”
“Did you not tell your dad that you were leaving?” Rayla whispered to him. “Callum, I’m an adult, I legally can do this.”
“Yeah, dad, I’m in the car.” Callum said. “It’s spring break, and I know that you have to stay at the hospital because there aren’t enough doctors, and Amaya is taking Ezran to a dude ranch, which I didn’t want to go to because I’m allergic to hay. I didn’t want to be alone for a week and a half.”
“This is incredibly irresponsible, you missed school, you skipped dance, Duke might rescind your admission if you don’t keep your grades up-”
“I haven’t even accepted my admission, dad.”
“Callum!”
“Dad, I left four hours ago. And you didn’t notice. I have money for gas, we can stay in the car and I will be back the day before school starts up again, and I will accept my admission to the college of my choice. I promise.”
“Callum, you’re only seventeen-” Harrow said. “I only want what’s best for you.”
“All due respect, doctor Katolis,” Rayla said, “But Callum needs time to think. And there’s been a lot of pressure on him from you, and from his... biological father, and my fathers... Everyone thinks they know what’s best for him and what matters is what he thinks is best for him.”
“Please... don’t have unprotected sex.”
“DAD!” Callum shouted. “We- no. No.”
“Is that your way of saying... it’s okay?” Rayla asked.
“I’m only giving you five days.” Harrow said. “Don’t bust all of your savings on a week and a half down the coast.”
“Thanks dad.” Callum said.
“And... I’m proud of you, son.”
“Love you.” Callum said, and hung up the phone.
“I should probably call my parents...” Rayla said.
“This was a bad idea,” Rayla said as they pulled into the six-flags parking lot. “Coming to an amusement park on the first day of spring break.”
“Technically it’s the third day, since it’s a monday and break started on saturday.” Callum said. “Did you pack sunscreen? I didn’t pack sunscreen.”
“Oh, I’m gonnae fry. My scottish skin will rebel.”
“You moved to California. You and your scottish fathers. I think this state is literally famous for how sunny it is.” he locked the car and they went out into the hot day. It was just barely heating up, but there wasn’t a cloud in sight, because summer was just around the corner.
They spent the day on all of the different rides, but most of the time was in line. Rayla won a giant otter plush and gave it to Callum, who only managed to win a hat for her. All of it was a welcome distraction. Until they were eating at one of the restaurants, their conversation in a lull, and Rayla checked her phone.
“Oh.” She said.
“What is it?” Callum asked.
“Marinsky accepted my audition application.” She said. “I’ll fly out to Russia in October.”
“That’s great!”
“It’s um... This will be my job for the rest of my life.” Rayla said. “I wouldn’t even be principal, I’d be company but that’s okay. I mean, it’s Marinsky. ”
“It’s in Russia.” Callum said. “I’m lucky to get the companies I have, but there’s no way I could get into Marinksy.”
“I don’t expect... I... it’s only an audition.” She said. “And I thought you were gonna go to school and become a famous artist or something.”
“I-” Callum sighed. “We’re not thinking about this. That’s the whole point of the road trip. No thinking about the future.”
“Of course,” Rayla said, putting the phone away. Her russian was poor anyways. And she wanted to stay close to her dads.
They both figured it would be a bad idea for them to get a hotel without adult supervision- I am technically an adult, Callum, and yeah that’s not the point. So they drove down to the coast. Callum put down the seats in the back of the car and spread out some old woven blankets.
“Do you sleep in your car often?” She asked. “You have a space heater and pillows and everything.”
“Yeah, I ran away twice after my mom died.” Callum said. “Kinda like I did now, big fights with Harrow. Back then it was cause I was a scared kid. Now it’s cause I’m just lost.” He tossed an old sketchbook into the passenger seat. “When I got a car, I decided that I should be able to use it for freedom, like duh, that’s what having a car is all about, but also in case I just couldn’t be in that house anymore.”
He was finding it hard to look at Rayla, because it was embarrassing. Would she be weirded out if he stared? He just wanted to look at her, was that even allowed.
“Also, I would totally come out here and sleep if I ever wanted to skip class.” He said.
“Is this really any different than getting a hotel?” Rayla asked. “Back of a parked car is just as much of a stereotype as getting a room.”
“God, this is way too uncomfortable to have sex on,” Callum said. “At least I would assume. Haven’t tried it.”
“I know that, I was yer first kiss,” she said. “Unless you’ve been driving other girls down the coast since we met.”
Callum laughed, looking up and meeting her eyes. Her eyebrows were knit, and because she was white in every aspect, her translucent blue eyes reflected the golden lantern between them. “I haven’t been,” he said, realizing that she’d been looking at him this whole time, so there wasn’t anything wrong with looking.
“Of course you haven’t,” she said, swiping at his face playfully. They fell into a silence, listening to the waves crash into the shore. “I don’t want to have sex,” she said, her face reddening, “not yet... I feel like we’re so odd, because we’ve been kissing and touching since we’ve met, but barely talking about feelings.”
“Thank god,” Callum said, collapsing onto his pillow. “I am thoroughly unprepared for the other situation.” Rayla laughed again, laying next to him.
“Yer my best friend,” Rayla said, taking one of his hands. Hers were just barely cold, the sparkly translucent pinkish nail polish she always had on was a little bit chipped, and Callum could only tell because he could feel it. “I’ve always been so alone, Callum, it hurt so bad, and I’m not gonna ruin it with stupid hormones too soon.”
“So just this,” Callum said, “just this is all I want for now.” Rayla scooted closer to him and kissed him. Her lips were soft and she tasted like the sticky mango they had for dessert after eating at some little Thai place.
She smiled into his lips. “I’m tired.” She said. “What’s on the agenda tomorrow?”
“I’m feeling a beach day,” Callum said. “And the aquarium.”
“Oh, I definitely concur.” She said. “Let’s sleep now. I want to sleep.” He turned to the wall of the car as she turned off the lantern. After a second the stars were visible outside the window. She put one arm over his shoulder and put her nose into the crook of his neck. The space heater buzzed.
Rayla was done with inhibitions. Well, more specifically, emotional inhibitions. She was done with not telling, not showing Callum that she was falling in love with him. She was so used to repressing all of the negative emotions that she forgot to let the positive ones through sometimes.
She texted her family group chat.
Thanks for letting me chill out for spring break.
I love you.
She hadn’t told them that she loved them in a while.
All in all, she thought that she needed the break, just a little bit away from being Rayla, the perfect influencer, perfect daughter, perfect dancer. She had lied about her life so much that she’d forgotten about the reality. She didn’t open Instagram at all in the five days they were gone. She took pictures, sure, but mostly just of moments she didn’t want to forget. Lots of Callum. This was real. Callum and her, her and Callum, who knew her and was with her anyways.
It had to end, of course. They drove back north with some useless things (Callum insisted the five foot otter was not useless. Rayla insisted it was.) Rayla deleted the email from Marinsky.
“Have you accepted your admission?” his dad asked, the first day out of spring break at breakfast.
“To Duke?” Callum asked, shoving eggs into his face.
“Yes.”
“I haven't made a decision yet.” Callum said. “I have until May 30 to accept it, anyways.”
“You'll practically have graduated then!”
“I'm not a senior, people don't expect me to do the whole decision day whatever.” Callum said, taking a jelly tart. “Ezran, let's go!”
Ezran had elected to ignore the eggs, and instead had around six jelly tarts. They made a break for the car before their dad had the chance to register it.
“You don't want to go to Duke, do you?” Ezran said, in-between bites of pastry.
“Ez, it's not that simple-”
“Yeah, it is. It's a yes or no question.”
“No, I don't want to.” Callum said, stopping, looking at the light while Ezran continued to eat.
“Then you should tell Dad.” he said. “Tell him you don't want to go, tell him what you want to do.”
“Our dad is an incredible doctor. He's smart and accomplished, he's won awards, and if I can't live up to that-" the light turned green- "then all those people, who say that I'm not really his son, then they're right.”
“You want to dance, right?” Ezran said. “Who says that being Sarai Chen's son is any worse or any less than being Harrow Katolis's?”
“I don't want to be Raymond Carson's son. And I want to be Dad's. He probably thinks that I still blame him for Mom's death. And if I do dance for a living, then what if... What if he just lets me go it on my own, if he thinks I'm not his son.”
“Callum...” Ezran said, while they were pulling into his middle school parking lot.
“What?”
“That's the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard you say. He's your dad, he's been your dad for the past ten years, and he loves you.”
“Go learn about chicken foetuses, you dork.” Callum said. Ezran hopped out of the car.
He got an email when he pulled into the high school. SF ballet. An audition.
~I got an audition for SF as a principal!
-They just sent me an email.
~Oh really? What position?
-Prolly just corps de ballet haha. I mean I never really open the emails, just sort them into a folder.
~Well, look at it! SF’s really close to home, and if I get onto the company as a principal that would actually be really nice.
Callum opened the email.
Congratulations Callum Chen , You have been invited to the summer audition for the San Francisco Ballet Company for the position as a Principal Dancer. Several agents have seen your performances, and we hope you consider continuing your dance career in a professional capacity with our company after your competition season finishes.
The email went on, detailing whatever dates and fees and everything else.
-well
~well what?
-well I’m also auditioning for a principal dancer spot, i guess.
~you’ve gotta be kidding me
- callum chen sent an attachment
It was just a screenshot of the email.
~Holy Hell!! We’re gonna audition together, right?
~dude could you imagine
~oh my gosh i would love to dance with you forever
-o//o
~That’s stupid don’t send me those.
-I love you, ray, but some of us have actual education to attend to
~smartypants
-In about two months I’ll be a highschool dropout
~I’m a middle school dropout. Get on my level
-classes. I have classes. Where i have to not be texting.
~course <3
She’s so perfect I’m gonna scream. Callum thought to himself before shutting off his phone and taking out his sketchbook for his english class. He couldn’t keep his mind on just one thing at once, he was always sketching during class.
He drew sequences from Manon quietly, trying to get out of his head about the SF audition. He was going. Of course he was going. Just for the audition. Rayla would definitely get on, he had no doubt, but he was still certain he would just embarrassed and be cut in the first round of auditions.
Rayla had... omitted the fact that she and Callum were officially dating to her fathers. She’d never had a boyfriend before, she didn’t have a lot of male friends who she could’ve gone on dates with, Marc was gay. It was a little scary, a little new.
But... for god’s sake, Ethari had chosen Callum to be her PDD partner because he knew that she thought he was cute. How angry would they be, really? No more sharing rooms at competitions though, that’s for sure. Runaan would be more protective for sure, they’d brought Callum on without consulting them first, and as much as he liked Dr. Katolis, that didn’t mean he was supportive of the relationship in a professional capacity or a personal capacity.
“Hi, you guys! I’m Rayla McIntosh, and I’m going live for Bloch as a young artist, and this is my day!” She waved to the camera. There were already hundreds of viewers. “So, this is my room, I have the benefit of living above my studio. This is the hat that Cal...” she faltered. This was a professional account. “Um, yeah, so, because it’s the school year, we have no classes until eleven, which is our toddles class, which I teach. I love the kids. Anyways, I don’t go to school, but it’s important to keep a schedule, so I wake up at eight every morning and go on a run, so I’ll do that and check in after! See you throughout the day!” She ate a granola bar and put her shoes on.
She did actually live really close to Callum, which she wished she knew- she wished she left her house more before meeting him so that maybe she could’ve run into him before.
She slowed her jog in front of the house. When she was a kid, she thought it was haunted. Ivy climbed up the trellises, there was a tower- which she now knew was Ezran’s room, all the way at the top, and it was charming, but it had a definite... vibe.
“Rayla!” Doctor Katolis called, and she stopped totally.
“Hiya there, Doctor Katolis.” She said, stopping and resting her elbows on the low stone wall that surrounded the property.
“Please, call me Harrow. Don’t you have school to be in?”
“I feel like you know I already have my GED.” She said. “Other stuff is in the works for me than just, y‘know, school.”
“Yeah, of course. And just so you know, I’m not judging you harshly, I married a ballet dancer, I-”
“Nope, awkward.” Rayla laughed. “We don’t need to talk about it, and me and Callum are just dating. And have only been dating for a week. And we are teenagers.”
Harrow laughed. “Sorry.” He was weeding his garden. “I’m really... I don’t know what Callum’s told you about his, um, parental situation, especially after what happened at the ballet competition.”
“About Raymond Carson being his biological father? Or Sarai never wanting him to dance.”
“I see he’s much more open with you than me,” Harrow smiled. “Which makes sense, I’m never home, and I’m not his real father, and I’m not fantastic at communicating, especially with teens.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think he’s that great at communicating with adults,” she said with a laugh. “He took a week to tell Ethari that he needed an hour off of a Thursday rehearsal for an art show opening. And he also went in his ballet clothes, I think. Yeah, there was a picture on his story of him with an award and the painting. Sweaty.”
“I remember it.” Harrow laughed, setting his trowel down on the stone wall. “He’s always been like that. At least, since I met him. It got worse after Sarai, naturally. A lot of things did.”
“Well, has he been better after starting dance?”
“Yes. which is why I haven’t encouraged him to stop quite yet. He also got admitted to Yale, and I really would like him to go.”
“Yeah, well, he has options. I mean, weekend after YAGP, we’re going to San Francisco to audition.”
“For...”
“For the principal positions on SFB. I don’t think either of us will make it, but doing corps and solos for a few years is-”
“Of course. How could I forget.”
“Well, I have stuff to do, um, a run to finish, so I guess I’ll see you at the next awkward ‘my dads and me over for dinner’ dinner?”
“Or whatever dinner Callum decides to introduce you as his girlfriend.”
Rayla blushed and got on with running. She never really got the whole “Runner’s high” thing, but she did like to run. It felt like such a concrete workout, with her blood pumping and her muscles aching. It felt like work, and she liked work. Ballet was also work, in a similar way, but running took less concentration. Feet on concrete. Music blasting in one ear. She was running to the ocean.
She made it to the shoreline park that she’s told Callum about herself. She ran around it once, twice, three times, watching the waves and then the sky and then the grass next to the pavement.
“Hey there everyone, I just finished my run,” She said, getting back into her house. “Say what you will about living in a tourist town, but like... there’s a reason tourists come here, it is super senic. Next up, I’ll be making my breakfast. I like a high-protein diet-or, I need one, that is. So I make these pancakes, it’s all egg, a little sugar, little flour.” She made her pancakes. “And then, because I have a massive sweet tooth, I put on some whipped cream, no sweetener, and blueberries. It makes it all better. This, and a protein shake is always the best way to start a day.”
“Next, I get dressed, and if you follow me on social media or whatever a lot of you ask why I have so much dancewear, and it’s literally just because I do nothing but dance, all the time. I have maybe four to six everyday outfits, and all of the rest is workout or dance things.” She put on some standard dance clothes- pink tights and a floral leo, and then warm ups on over them. “So, I have to teach my class, but I’ll do a livestream around lunch and answer some questions!”
Rayla sometimes wondered if she was a better teacher than she was a performer.
“Alexis, here we go, look at that foot, you’re getting so much better.” she said. She did like teaching, because she was always right. She wasn’t always right when Ethari or Runaan was running rehearsals, but she was right now. “Okay, again, first, second, third, fourth, fifth. Plie, releve, plie, and tendu first. Let’s do it with music, watch me.”
And there was something immensely satisfying about watching the little ones progress, and that lovely spark in the ones that really, truly loved it. With a lot of the older kids, not beginners, there was this air of ballet just being something that they did . She did it too. Ballet was just. The thing. But every one of them had loved it before. It was why she loved hanging out with Callum so much, too. Because he loved it.
“And, now I’m live!” She said, sitting against the mirror in the studio. “Let’s do a little Q and A!” She squinted as the questions rolled in at the bottom of the screen. “I am scottish, yes. But I live in Markle Beach, California. Um, I am planning on auditioning for several companies, and hopefully Bloch will invite me to be a brand ambassador at that point. I think I’m the oldest of the ‘young artists’.” She laughed. “Callum...” she laughed again. “Yeah, Callum Chen is my PDD partner, um, he’s a total goofball, but, no, he has school right now, and I don’t think Bloch will let him on screen, he reps for another dancewear company. I wear um- once second- I wear the dramatica II shoe, um, here it is, and I go through a pair about every month? But with that I cycle between two pointe shoes because I go on point four days a week for about six to nine hours on those days, and so each shoe only gets twelve to eighteen hours a week. And I have a pair of shoes that I have only for performances. And, I know this wasn’t really the question but I wear pump split sole flats. Oh, Hi Callum, Callum joined the chat,” she waved. “Okay, then, so. My tips for holding arabesques...”
The live lasted 45 minutes before she had to get out of the studio for a different class, so she went up to get lunch.
“Do you want to go out?” Runaan asked as she mumbled over the things in the fridge.
“Sure, if you’re paying.”
“I’m your dad, of course I’m paying.”
Rayla followed her dad down the stairs, marking the way he favored his left leg. It had been a long, long time since he’d been a principle dancer with London National. He’d been a teacher and choreographer almost as long as she’d been alive. His extensions before the injury had been just barely at 90 from the lack of workouts, but now he didn’t even demonstrate, not really, relying more on Ethari and Rayla to interpret his words and the motion of his arms. Rayla knew his career had been over a long time before she put a pair of scissors three inch es in his leg, but she still felt guilty.
She got a sandwich and he got soup, and they sat in silence for a minute.
“Did I always want to dance or did you guys make me?” She asked.
“Oh you always wanted to dance.” Runaan said. “I wasn’t your teacher back in Scotland, naturally. I had just barely met Ethari, and you know your parents were friends with him from Uni. So, he was your godfather. But you were in ballet classes even back then. And when we got you, we couldn’t afford to put you in lessons, I don’t know if you remember, but we did them at home with you. Well, Ethari did, I was working. And the first year or so when we immigrated, we didn’t do anything with you, we didn’t have the studio then, but you got so depressed. We had you in normal school, people were making fun of your accent-”
“Marcy and Zoey.” She said. “Yeah, they were awful.”
“So we homeschooled you. And that made it a little better, but we were worried that you would be isolated, so we put you into dance again, and Rayla, the difference it made was unbelievable. Here were days that you dragged your feet, but I never made you do anything. You were always just as self motivated as you are now.”
“Hm.”
“Starting Moonshadow was always the goal, you know. But you loving dance probably made it happen. It wasn’t a passive- it wasn’t a byproduct of us being in ballet.”
Rayla picked the tomatoes off her sandwich. They always slid out, so she ate them separately.
“I’m dating Callum.” She said.
“I know.” Runaan responded. “Why are you telling me that?”
“Well, we just got together last week-”
“Last week? I thought you two had been together since the SF competition!” Rayla nearly choked on her sandwich laughing. “Ethari could’ve sworn...”
“So you don’t care? Not gonna threaten him if he does anything to hurt me, ladeedah?”
“I’ll threaten him? You stabbed me with sewing scissors without hesitation thinking I was an intruder, god knows what you’d do to some guy who really hurts you.” Rayla laughed again. “I’m serious, you’re an adult and I like to think we’ve raised you right.”
“Thanks, Dad.” She said, putting her head on her forearms on the table. “I love you.”
He laughed, because that wasn’t something she said a lot. “I love you too, Bug.”
Callum was watching Claudia play the cello, alone in the practice rooms of the music hall. She was getting ready for solo and ensemble at the regional level, and he was giving her a ride home cause she couldn’t catch the bus. She was good, he’d kinda forgotten. He hadn’t heard her play in so long. He was doing a petit allegro halfheartedly and accounting for the space. She messed up again, and slowed the piece down.
Callum smiled. He still loved hearing her play, even if he didn’t have a crush on her anymore. The stupid heart-achy-ness and sweaty palms all felt a little immature now.
“Can you sit down and watch me do the whole thing?” She asked, doing away with the sheet music.
“Sure.” Callum said, plopping down on the piano bench. She took a deep breath and began the selection from the top. Callum had never been particularly musically inclined, but he knew that Claudia was good. She finished, and he clapped politely. “Damn, Clauds.” He said. “Impeccable.”
“Thank you.” She said. “Too bad that you have that competition on the day of the regional. You were always my biggest hype man.”
“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry.” He said as she loosened her bow and packed up the cello.
“So. I heard you got accepted into a college.”
“Quite a few, really.” Callum said.
“What happened to your senior year?”
“Senior year was never part of the plan.” Callum said, picking up her backpack so she didn’t have to worry about it. “Sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“No, it's okay,” she said. “I mean, we all knew that you were smart as hell. You deserve to get out of here, more than anyone.”
“What do you mean, get out of here?”
Claudia laughed. “I guess it doesn’t feel the same you you, you’re smart, talented, personable, but Markle Beach is like a... a glue trap. Soren still lives at home, and he’s been working at the same cafe as you for twice as long. I’ve been a receptionist at the hospital since last year, and I’ll be there next year, and then I’ll do it full time and move out into my own house and then get old here and die.”
“What happened to being the best cardiovascular surgeon in the US? Or playing at Carnegie hall? Or moving to New York and selling out galleries?”
She strapped the cello onto her back and they started down the hall. “I’m probably only gonna get a bachelor’s.” She said. “At some stupid cheap, let’s everyone in university.”
“You’re smart.” Callum said. “Like, crazy smart, I know you, Clauds.”
“Maybe, but I’m crap at tests.” She sighed. “And homework. So it doesn’t matter how smart I am, no prestigious school’s gonna let me in on a 2.6 gpa and a 12 on the ACT.”
“You should audition for Juilliard.” Callum said. Claudia laughed. “It’s not a joke! Or some other music conservatory! You’re really good, you could do it! Not everything in the world is decided by how well you do in high school.”
Claudia loaded her cello into the back of his car. “That’s easy for you to say, you have good grades.”
Callum tried to think of a response, but he really couldn’t.
He drove her home with no conversation, and then went straight to the studio.
“Sup.” Rayla said, leaning against the doorframe to the studio. “So, two weeks off felt good?”
“I don’t like the implications of that.” He called to her over the screen while getting changed.
“Ye shouldn’t.” She said. He kissed her on the cheek hastily and entered the studio. He missed the simplicity of practice. The complexity of technique was mentally engaging, and the physicality of it was a good distraction. It, more than painting or schoolwork, focused him.
He wanted another week without the future.
“Wyoming.” Rayla said, stretching out the Wy. “I think it’s worse than Idaho. Or Ohio.”
“Born. In Cincinnati.” Callum said, pointing to his face aggressively. “Do we at least get to visit Yellowstone?”
“You are literally missing school for this, Callum, and your father won’t let me forget it.” Runaan said from the front seat. “But we can go on a hike Sunday.”
The scenery that rolled by the window was bland, a lot of rolling scrub, a few cows, and dingy, poorly kept fences and snow blockers. They stopped in a few small towns along the way, McDonalds and subway. He and Rayla mostly just chilled out and watched criminal minds in the back.
They got to the convention centre with the intense misfortune of immediately running into Maia and Kasef.
“Hey there,” Maia said. “I haven’t seen y’all in a while.”
“Probably because we scored high enough at all our competitions that if we continue, we’ll qualify for whatever with no problem.”
“Well, qualifying is one thing. Winning is another.” Kasef said.
“You still haven’t beaten us,” Callum said crossly. “So I don’t think that’s really something you can say.”
“Come on, let’s move along,” Runaan said, ushering them forward into the hall.
Rayla sat in their section of hallway, squeezing the box of her pointe shoes anxiously as Callum placed the gems in her hair.
“You’ve got this,” he told her. “You’ve been competing for years, what have you got to be nervous about?”
“You know, I always think that I’d stop getting nervous eventually.” She said, breaking the shank more even though it was already perfectly supple. “It never happens, though. Until I get onto the stage, and it all melts away.”
“There,” he said, leaning back. “You’re all ready.” He smiled, and she looked back up at him, all sunshine.
“You’re gonna be watching?” She asked.
“Are you kidding? Always.” He unzipped his warm-up jacket, now that his white peasant top was no longer under the threat of the make-up powders. “Look, the male individual events are going on right now, I’m kinda curious. You’re first up on the female soloists, right?”
She nodded. “Yeah, warm up is in a quarter hour.”
“Alright, well, I hate to leave you alone, but I really wanna watch these events.”
“I’ll be fine, Cal.” She said. “Go on.”
He left her and made his way past all the booths into the A stage, flashing his lanyard in lieu of a ticket. He settled near the back as a freckled redhead hit his starting position.
He had seen professional videos of male dancers, and the short little Instagram vids, but watching the actual dancer was enchanting- the stamina of the turns and jumps, the height that he achieved. Callum conceded to Kasef in this regard- Rayla was doubtlessly the best of the female dancers in paired dancers, but of the males, he was woefully behind. He applauded politely as the dancer exited and the next dancer took the stage. Kasef. Callum didn’t even need to hear the announcement.
He was good.
Actually, not just good, stunning. Callum’s back would probably never be that flexible, and some of the jumps he did, Callum didn’t even know how to begin to attempt. He seemed to fly, the strength from his legs evident in the effortless nature of the height. It looked like it took no power at all, but Callum knew it did.
And on one of these jumps, where one of his legs stayed stationary five feet in the air as the other moved around it, he landed on it wrong. The music kept playing, and Callum could see it, how he didn’t know, he couldn’t feel it quite yet, because he rolled back to standing on his good foot and tried to go on, but his leg was wrong. The audience was quiet as he fell on the next step. The music stopped, because someone in the box knew there was no way he could go on. He struggled up again, just to fall. The sound of his body hitting the stage seemed like it shouldn’t be able to travel all the way back to him, but it did. The audience was only breathing, all of them in simple shock.
The reality of the injury dawned on his face. He cried, these wretched, half breathing sobs, in the quiet of the auditorium, as if he was the only living person in there, the rest simply statues.
“Kasef!” Maia shouted, making her way over people to the aisle and sprinting down it. Calamity broke free, the audience all acting at once- where was the medic? Should an ambulance be called? Which studio is he with? Who is his coach?
Callum stood, not sure of how he should act, as Maia and the redhead contestant carried Kasef off of the stage.