Chapter Text
The minutes are counting down, drawing the cooking time to a close.
At Station A, Akutagawa had managed to find the butane stove and Chuuya with the infinite kindness of Mother Teresa had "rescued" Dazai from the freezer, promptly punched his lights out, and had Dazai propped on a stool in the corner with Atsushi's help in lugging his giant mackerel body. But he did drape an apron over him, noticing how cold he seemed.
Mori had merely raised an eyebrow but the rules never technically specified all members of the team had to be awake to submit their entry and having Dazai passed out is more helpful. Of course, Chuuya is more than a little tipsy right now, but this truly seems like a good option.
With 5 minutes on the clock left, Atsushi is plating one steak on a white ceramic plate, Akutagawa working on charring the other one under Chuuya's careful supervision. Atsushi and Akutagawa had worked together surprisingly well preparing the seasoning and marinating the steaks, following Chuuya's slurred instructions to the best of their ability. Sure, there was some bickering, but they managed to complete the task and Chuuya was pretty confident they'd produced good dishes considering Atsushi's previous failure. That pot lid and destroyed ceiling would need some serious attention later, the stove probably completely replaced.
With the last piece of steak on the plate, Chuuya grabs a few slices of pre-sliced bread and uses the metal tongs to gently place them on the stove, flipping and rotating them after turning the heat down a notch. He watches the bread slightly char, then when he deems appropriate, takes each piece and puts it on each plate.
"Atsushi, butter the bread. Afterwards, Akutagawa, sprinkle parsley over it. We're done." He crosses his arms over his chest, content.
He hears a thump behind him and sees Dazai's managed to slide off the stool, face planting onto the ground.
Station B has continued to demonstrate amazing progress.
Naomi and Juichirou are still missing- they've accepted that it's probably better not to ask and Kyouka and Lucy work better as a pair anyway, often times not even needing to talk to each other to accomplish what they need to.
With their final 5 minutes, Kyouka takes out a souffle dish from the oven. "Lucy, can you get some coasters ready?"
Lucy nods and clears out the counter space (not that there was much to clean- the two were so efficient they were cleaning as they went), placing two large circular coasters side by side.
Kyouka walks past her, gently putting down the dish on the coaster. She heads back to the oven for the other one while Lucy sticks a toothpick in the center. It comes out clean and she smiles. Perfection. She sprinkles powdered sugar on the top- you can never truly have too much. With the strawberry smoothie they have chilling in the fridge, the combination will be absolutely divine. She's sure of it.
Station C, once they got all the broken ceramic off the ground, has also similarly managed to complete their omelettes.
Kenji was put in charge of beef after his finger was properly bandaged with Kunikida watching him very carefully, sometimes pushing him out of the way to make sure there was no chance of any oil splattering and that the beef is being cooked thoroughly.
Poe and Ranpo chopped vegetables, Poe rubbing his watering eyes from dicing the onion and Ranpo efficiently chopping the green bell pepper- he somehow knew his way around a knife pretty well. Thankfully, neither of them cut themselves.
The first omelet is already made and with the remaining 5 minutes, Poe slides the cut vegetables into the omelet in the pan, Kenji folding the egg around the ingredients.
Poe moves to the counter and does his best to draw a ketchup heart on the omelet, Ranpo nodding his encouragement. When the second omelet is ready, they repeat the process, Ranpo drawing the heart this time. They're ready to present.
"AAAaaannd time!" Mori calls out as the big clock on the wall reads 00:00:00. "Chefs, step away from your dishes, please! Time is up!"
Chuuya wipes off some extra butter that's accidentally dripped onto the side of one of the plates and drops the towel, holding his hands in the air and backing up. Kyouka brushes some sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. Ranpo and Poe stand behind the plates, hands folded behind their backs.
All three teams have worked hard. Now it's time for their culinary creations to be critiqued. Not that Dazai would know- he's still passed out. They did check to make sure he's still breathing, and Chuuya's 75% he's faking being asleep from how loudly he's snoring, but that's a headache for another time.
"Your dishes will be critiqued by our judges, Yosano and Kouyou." Fukuzawa gestures to the table that's been set up in front of the three stations, Kouyou fanning her face and Yosano resting her chin on her hands folded under it.
"We'll go in order from A-C. When your station number is called, please bring your dish forward and place it in front of the judges. You may have two people to help- just please, for the love of god, don't drop them." Mori can't keep a bit of exasperation from seeping into his voice- given the track record for these idiots, inevitably someone is going to drop their plate and he really doesn't have the patience or the funding to have to redo this whole competition again, not with all the kitchen repairs he'll have to do.
"Station A, you may bring up your dish." Atsushi and Akutagawa each walk forward holding a plate, Chuuya watching them like a proud papa, blatantly chugging from the wine bottle now that the cooking is done. They both walk slowly at first, but Akutagawa's competitive sense has him trying to walk just a little faster than Atsushi so of course Atsushi has to walk faster too until they're basically near sprinting the short distance to the table.
They give each other a glare but upon Yosano clearing her throat swivel their heads towards her in sync and place their dishes in front of the judges.
Yosano rubs her hands together. "This better be some damn good steak. I've been craving some meat after all the injuries I have to fix for you fools."
Kouyou merely closes her fan and places it delicately next to the plate, picking up her fork. The picture of elegance.
Atsushi and Akutagawa stand back, both eagerly watching.
Yosano appears pleased with the dish, closing her eyes as she cuts a small piece of the steak and Kouyou shows no reaction, merely taking dainty bites. She lightly dabs at her mouth with her napkin. Both look at each other, having an entirely silent conversation and nod.
They hold up their score cards. "And that's an 8 of out 10 for Station A! Well done!" Mori congratulates them and Atsushi and Akutagawa head back to their station.
"Up next, we have Station B! Ladies, please bring up your dishes!" Kyouka and Lucy each bring up their plates and smoothies in perfect synchrony, and Kouyou looks at them in pride. It's obvious she's biased, but for good reason. The souffles do look delectable.
They place the plates in front of the judges, politely standing back. Lucy reaches out for Kyouka's hand, and she takes it.
The judges try a bite and sip each, Kouyou instantly shedding a single tear. Within 0.3 seconds both have put up the score card for a 11.
"What?! An 11? I didn't even know we had that as a score card! What a spectacular entry, Kyouka and Lucy!" Mori remarks. Fukuzawa grits his teeth, but even he has to grudgingly admit it's well-deserved.
"Up next but certainly not least we have Station C! Please bring up your entries!" Kunkida carries one of the plates, Poe the other. Kenji had offered but there was no way Kunikida was letting him screw it up. Back ramrod straight, Kunikida marches forward holding the plate like a waiter while Poe shyly holds the plate close to him, afraid of the attention. It had taken some encouragement from Ranpo, but he was proud of seeing Poe put himself out there.
Kunikida gets there before Poe but waits until Poe's arrived before he sets the plate down. Kunikida gives a slight bow and Poe twirls a lock of his hair but both step back. The judges cut into the omelettes, Yosano's eyes widening. "Damn, this is some good beef." Kenji looks particularly pleased at the compliment.
The judges hold up their score cards. "A 9 for Station C! With that, this cooking competition draws to a close. Our winners are Station B! Congratulations, Kyouka and Lucy!" The participants politely clap, Kyouka and Lucy smiling widely, squealing and hugging each other.
"Now for the second reason that I chose to hold this cooking competition today," Mori announces. The participants look at him, confused. Second reason?
"Today is also Fukuzawa's birthday! So let's all celebrate!" Mori claps his hands together.
Ranpo raises his hand. "That's impossible, Mori. None of us would have missed that date. It's in 2 weeks."
Mori blinks. "Oh. Well, that's, uh, you know what, it's an early birthday celebration! You can never have too many celebrations for an outstanding specimen of a man like Fukuzawa!"
Fukuzawa scoffs, but there's a redness to his cheeks that only Ranpo notices.
Mori claps twice. "Tachihara, bring that out."
Tachihara peels himself off from the back corner of the wall. He disappears and re-emerges with a rolling cart, a silver dome in the center.
He rolls the cart in front of Mori, bows, and returns to his original position. Mori walks in front of the cart, and lifts the dome after a dramatic pause. In the center is an ice bucket with a rose and a bottle of champagne. Mori picks up the rose, placing it in his front pocket and walks to Fukuzawa, bending on one knee.
The entire room is gasping now, Ranpo merely raising an eyebrow. "It's about time," he mutters quietly and Poe gives him a gentle smile.
"Fukuzawa. Through all of these 'alliance' exercises, the only real reason that I endured them for this long was because of you. I've tried pretty much everything under the sun to get you to see me as a partner worthy of your affections, but I think now it's time I take a truly direct approach." He puts a hand in his coat pocket and pulls out a ring, a thin silver band that flashes under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen. "While this isn't the most romantic location for a proposal, I just couldn't wait any longer. Will you please marry me?"
Fukuzawa's expression is unreadable at first. It begins shifting, a myriad of microexpressions too fast to process until it finally settles into a genuine smile. "I knew all along, Mori. I was just waiting for you to ask. Yes."
The kitchen is full of whoops and cheers, and Mori's eyes overflow. He slides the ring on Fukuzawa's ring finger, but it gets stuck at the 2nd knuckle.
"Ah shit, I should have checked," Mori covers his face with his other hand. Fukuzawa laughs. "It's fine, Mori. We'll get it fixed later. Come here."
He offers a hand to help Mori up, and the two embrace. They were nuts for each other all along. Truly, all they kneaded was love to make the alliance work.
Dazai "wakes" up with a snort. "So when are you going to propose to me, Chuuya?"