Chapter Text
Everything was cold at first, she could feel words echoing in her mind, but who’s they were and what they said were lost on her. She could feel a wave of grief wash over her, her heart sank and tears rolled down her cheeks. Something had happened, someone important was hurt.
“Alyx!” A man shouted.
No, that wasn’t just any man, that was her dad, he was calling out to her. Just his voice seemed to spark a memory in her, her dad being taken away, her travels to rescue him, and then she traveled somewhere else. She couldn’t quite remember where.
“Alyx!” He yelled again, it was much clearer this time, “Alyx! You need to get up!”
Alyx’s eyes shot open and she snapped up in a flash as if she had woken from the most horrible dream imaginable. She rested a hand on her chest while she caught her breath, her heart felt like it was about to explode from her chest, in an instant her dad was by her side.
“Hey, hey, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He soothed, “Are you okay?”
Alyx looked around the room, coming to the horrible realization that she had no idea where she was, not only was everything too clean and intact but she also just didn’t recognize it. The only familiar thing here was her father.
“Where are we…?” She asked, looking at him in confusion.
“What are you talking about, honey?” he rested a hand on her shoulder, “We’re in your room, in our house?”
Her stomach twisted, everything about this was wrong, this wasn’t her home and this wasn’t her room. Yet something in her mind told her to play it safe until she knew for sure, so Alyx nodded slowly, “Right… yeah…” She cleared her throat, trying not to look at him.
He hummed worriedly for a moment before shaking his head, “You seem way too out of it, you should call in sick today, not to mention you’re already extremely late.”
She nodded quietly, having not even the slightest clue of what he was talking about, but man, he was certainly talking, “Could...Could you call for me?” She finally asked after some silence, a wave of relief came over her when he nodded in agreement.
“Of course, I’ll call in for you.” Eli stood up, giving her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, “Get some rest, kiddo.” he gently closed the bedroom door as he left the room, leaving Alyx alone in the bed.
For what felt like ages, she remained still, waiting for something to happen, something to pop out and get her. But nothing did. Eventually, she convinced herself to get up and began to explore what was apparently her room.
On the walls were pictures of her and other people, who she could only assume were her friends, as well as pictures of her with her family. There were posters of things she didn’t recognize over her bed, and colorful curtains tinted the entire room rainbow. In the corner was a long desk, on one end was various electronics that were either being taken apart or built, it was hard to tell. On the other side was an old chunky computer and many stacks of paper, some of which had sketches of robots and machines on them.
Alyx brushed her hair from her face, it was such a normal room. Nothing like the rooms she’d had in the past. This one actually seemed like it had been lived in for multiple years, maybe even since she was a little kid. Somehow that was an almost scary thought for her.
She walked to the window and pushed the curtains aside, outside was truly strange for her. The skies were a beautiful blue, the grass was bright green and healthy, the trees were tall and covered in leaves. It was like nothing she’s ever seen before.
She pushed the window and just rested there, her head stuck out the window as she felt a warm summer breeze, a small animal raced along the fence line. Alyx guessed it was a squirrel, which was nice because those always sounded cute and she was right, they were very cute.
She then suddenly gasped like she had remembered something important. In no time, she had bolted out of the bedroom and was instantly lost in the hallway before her, though the house was small it seemed so large. She hugged herself as she began to walk down the hallway, all sense of urgency leaving her as her eyes drifted over the walls.
Pictures of her growing up and going to school lined the walls, as well as what appeared to be vacation photos of her with her dad…. And her mom… She stopped on a group photo, her parents and multiple other scientists all stood together, one of the scientists had his arm around a security guard who was holding his waist.
She squinted at the picture, remembering their faces, “That’s Dr.Kleiner, Dr.Magnusson, Dad...Mom… and…” it was a bit hard to tell with his helmet on, but she was fairly sure the security guard was her uncle Barney, the man Barney was holding by the waist then had to be Gordon Freeman. They were all dressed up like normal Black Mesa employees, nothing like the way she remembered any of them. Even Barney looked like he’d barely ever seen a fight. They were all just so... Normal…
“I don’t understand…” Alyx whispered to herself, “Just the other day we were fighting against the combine and now… it’s like none of that ever happened…” She stepped away from the picture and walked silently down the stairs, the whole house was silent and she was the only one home.
She didn’t linger long in the empty rooms and chose to instead make her way to the back door, where she finally stepped outside fully, the warm sun falling over her and warming her deep into her soul. It was so comforting but so off at the same time. Standing on the back porch, she scanned the whole backyard, settling onto a doghouse. She furrowed her brows.
“That is way too small for him.” She grumbled, then began to whistle and pat her knees, “Here boy! Come here, Dog!”
While she had expected the rather large Dog she had been working on for the past several years, what she got instead was a robot dog that only came up to her hip (which is big for a normal dog, yes, but for Dog himself? Not really).
“What?” Alyx let out an exasperated sigh, “All the work I put into you, poof! Gone in a flash…” something in the back of her mind screamed at her to be more worried about this, but she just wasn’t, like there was some force keeping her calm.
Dog, being a dog and also a robot, didn’t say anything in response to her, he just made a few bweeps and boops. She couldn’t help but smile and pat his head anyway.
“You may have somehow lost all your mods, but you’re still my Dog.” She sat on her knees and just held his head in her hands, trying to process everything that was happening to her. “Was it all a dream?” she wondered aloud, “No, no there’s no way I could just dream all that up. It had to be real.” She shifted so she could lay down, resting her head on Dog’s back, “But then… How did all of this happen? What happened to me before I woke up”
Dog made a confused beeping noise, and she reached over to pat his head, “Don’t worry, buddy.” She began replaying what she last remembered over and over in her mind, trying to figure out where she went wrong when everything changed.
“I was going to rescue dad...then he had some info about the vault and…” She sat right up, “The vault! That’s it! This has to have something to do with the vault!” Her epiphany was met with only a stare from her robot companion, who had yet to magically gain the ability to speak, she stared back for a moment before sighing and patting his face, “Thanks for the words of wisdom, buddy.”
Alyx stood up and stretched her arms up to the sky, slowly the world was starting to feel more sinister, the blue sky seemed to have dimmed and the greenery around her had even darkened a shade. Although, she wasn’t really sure if she was seeing that correctly or not. She glanced back down at Dog, and while his expression never changed something about his stare seemed less friendly.
She gulped nervously, “Okay, Alyx,” She said to herself, “you’re just freaking yourself out. Let’s just figure out what to do…” She backed inside the house, shutting the door behind her so Dog couldn’t follow, “So… What do we know…? Um, the Cascade never happened here apparently, there aren’t any Combine, my mom’s alive, and everything is non….well, non fucked up.” She had begun to pace through the house, not exactly looking at anything in particular.
“So the vault somehow took me to this other world where everything is okay?” She scratched her head, then groaned, “None of this makes any sense!” There was always the other option, that everything before now really had been a dream, but she couldn’t bring herself to even consider that.
Eventually, she leaned against the wall, rubbing her temples as she tried to think of something, any sort of plan when her eyes caught on something. A nametag resting on a small table in the corner of the living room near the door. She approached it, only to be greeted by her own picture and name on it. More specifically, it was Black Mesa character ID card, and apparently not only did she work at Black Mesa but she worked in the Engineering Department.
It made sense, of course, if the Cascade never happened, Black mesa would obviously still be around, it was where everything started. As Alyx stared at herself in the picture, she began to think.
“Black Mesa was the catalyst to all of this, so maybe they’ll have some answers.” She bit her tongue as she took in every detail of the ID Card, remembering everything she’d ever been told about Black Mesa, “Dad said the experiment happened on level 3, but...I guess I don’t have that clearance…” She tapped her thumb against the card, giving the prominent ‘Level 1’ a glare like that would change anything, “Guess I’m a recent hire.”
Alyx was starting to work out a plan, and while it wasn’t exactly a good plan, it was the only one she had. She had to get into Black Mesa, down to the level 3 test chamber, and see if she could find anything on the Cascade. Although really, she’d take any information she could get her hands on at this point.
Not too far off Alyx could hear the sound of a car door closing, not close enough to be in front of her house, but still close by. She crept to any window near the front of the house, from there she could see her neighbors stepping out of the car. One of them was clearly a scientist and the other was-
‘It was Barney and Gordon!’ She very quickly realized, although as she noticed them, they also seemed to notice her, as Gordon gave a wave and motioned for her to come out, Alyx was quick to comply, stepping out of the house and walking over to them. Her main goal was to try and seem as normal as possible and not like she was mentally flipping her lid.
“You guys are home early.” She guessed by the fact that her dad wasn’t back yet, although she already had about 12-excuses lined up if she was wrong about that. Always good to have a back-up plan.
“Yeah,” Barney chuckled, no back-up plan needed, “a certain someone got in trouble for pulling a few all-nighters again.” He nudged Gordon in the side, “So I’ve been charged with making sure he goes home and stays there until he’s well-rested again. Doctor’s orders.”
“Which Doctor?” Gordon asked, looking over at Barney with a silly smile, “Black Mesa’s full of them!” He began to laugh, and Barney just rolled his eyes.
“He wouldn’t be finding this nearly as funny if he actually slept. Really he’s just proving my point right now.” Barney said in a very calm voice while Gordon continued to lose his mind laughing next to him.
Alyx couldn’t help but laugh a bit too, it was just infectious. There was just something nice about Barney finally being able to live the happy life he used to always talk about, even if this wasn’t the real Barney that she knew and loved. She took this time to investigate the pair, while Barney tried to get Gordon to stop laughing at his own bad joke.
Since they had just come from work, they were still dressed in their uniforms, both of their ID’s showing that they had a very high-level clearance. Exactly like Alyx needed. Gordon’s hair was speckled with gray strands, matching Barney’s own. On his and Barney’s left hands, they both wore matching rings. She remembered her dad telling her about those when she was younger, this Barney and Gordon had actually been able to get married.
They’d never gotten the chance before.
In every way she could see, this world was better. Happier. Then the one she came from. Try as she might though, she just couldn’t get herself comfortable. Something about how safe everything was just made her feel uncomfortable and wrong, there was no way there wasn’t some secret underlying threat.
There always was.
Eventually, Gordon got himself to stop laughing. Turning his attention to Alyx instead, “Oh, yeah, how are you feeling? Eli mentioned you were feeling today. He asked us to check on you too.”
“He asked ME to check on you.” Barney corrected, “He and Azian just yelled at Gordon to take care of himself.”
“Alright, alright.” Gordon folded his arms, “I get the point, hun.”
“Oh, right, um.” Alyx tugged at her sleeves, “I’m doing better now, guess I just needed the rest.”
“Have you been eating enough, drinking water?” Barney pressed.
“Yeah, I am. You don’t have to worry about me, Barney.” The tone of her voice was enough to indicate that she wasn’t going to answer any questions, Barney gave Gordon an odd look that she couldn’t quite decipher, Gordon gave a small nod in response to it. The whole interaction just rang warning bells in her mind.
“Well,” Gordon gave her a small wave, “I’m gonna head inside. You get some rest too, okay?” He didn’t wait for her response, as he walked inside his home, with Barney following behind him soon after.
Alyx made sure they were both gone before she turned her back on them and headed for her own “home”, before stepping inside herself, she noticed that the sky seemed darker yet again. It was the middle of the day, not at all time for the sun to be setting.
Now everything felt like it was watching her, even the plants. The damned plants. If they’d have eyes, they’d look very sinister right about now. There was nowhere she felt safe, not even with Dog. Nothing about this place was her home, nothing about it was comfortable.
As weird as it sounds, she actually preferred the practically destroyed city she’d come to know. But for now, Alyx would have to settle for using her fake bedroom as a base of operations, even if it was missing all of her projects. What it lacked in memories it made up in scrap paper and writing utensils.
She got to work quickly, sketching up a plan. When the sun sets, she’d sneak into Barney’s house, steal his ID card, and head for Black Mesa. Logically, she could take her dad’s ID, if Gordon and Barney had such high-level clearance, it only made sense that he would too. Alyx just couldn’t bring herself to steal from her dad, even if it was just a fake version of him.
With her plan written out and being worked through to every logical extent she could think of, Alyx set to preparing herself. No doubt that Black Mesa would be secure, ID or not, she wouldn’t just be able to waltz right in in the dead of night, and waiting until the next morning wouldn’t be a better idea. Barney would quickly realize his ID was gone and there was no telling how long it would take these fakes to suspect her of taking.
“I’ll need a disguise…” She mumbled as she pulled open her dresser and began digging for clothes similar to Barney’s guard uniform.
Eventually, she was able to dig out black pants and blue button-up, it wasn’t exactly right, but hopefully, no one would look too hard at her. If she walked with confidence, no one would suspect her. Well, as long as she snatched a vest and helmet along with the ID, then no one would suspect her.
“Okay, I have a plan, I have most of the disguise, now all I need is a weapon.” She reached instinctively for her hip, only now coming to the realization that her gun was gone and not only the gun but the Russel’s as well, “Oh shit. Russ is gonna kill me when I get back…” she grumbled.
Not wanting to count the gloves and her gun as out of the picture quite yet, mainly because she really dreaded having to tell Russel she managed to lose them both, Alyx began to dig around in the room. Tossing up anything that either object could be potentially hiding behind, and while she found many toy guns and even a foam sword or two, no actual weapons came up.
“Why would anyone need so many fake weapons?” She practically yelled at the piles of toys sitting before her, “What’s the point of them?” they didn’t even seem that useful for training, maybe because most of the guns were missing the foam darts that came with them. At least a sword didn’t need ammo.
“I guess I could always grab a knife from the kitchen…” Alyx grumbled, pushing the pile partly under her desk in a very half-hearted attempt to clean up the mess she’d made in the bedroom, “This place gets bleaker and bleaker by the moment.”
She took another moment to glance out the window at the darkened sky, maybe now it made sense that the sun would be going down, but that didn’t make it look any less sinister. Like the more she did the more she angered the world around her.
“Oh, shoot!” She snapped her fingers, being reminded by the dark sky, “I’ll need a flashlight too. Hm, and maybe a car.” She got up from her spot on the floor and hurried out into the house. The sky grew darker.
She took this time to not only look for her flashlight but to hopelessly look for her gun as well. Occasionally, she’d think she found it, but on closer inspection, there was never any gun. Much to her annoyance. Then she had to come to the more annoying fact, there wasn’t a single flashlight in the house, at least not one that she could find. It wasn’t like she was being selective in what drawers or closets she looked through, either. If it was closed, Alyx opened it and dug through it until there was nothing new to see...
“So, no flashlight. I’ll go in blind then.” She made her way back to the kitchen, “I’ll at least grab a weapon while I’m down...here…” she trailed off as she looked around, she could have sworn there was a knife block on the counter last time she was in here, but now it was gone, and she already knew there weren’t any knives in the drawers.
Alyx backed out of the kitchen, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. As she began to walk back to her room, she noticed that the house had been put back together completely, like she hadn’t just spent a few hours destroying it while on a scavenger hunt. The worst thing being, when she pushed open the door to her room and found everything was perfect again.
Her plans had vanished from her desk, the disguise she’d laid out was gone, everything was in its proper place. Something that she definitely remembered NOT doing.
“This is messed up.” She brushed her hands through her hair, looking all around herself. Knowing full well now that this world was working directly against her. She didn’t have time to think for long, the front door opened.
She could hear the sound of keys jingling as they were being hung up, the thumping of shoes being dropped into their spots on the floor, and the happy chatter of a man and a woman. Even though this was technically her home while she lived in this world, just hearing all of that made her feel like an intruder.
One pair of footsteps made their way up the stairs, and they were her dad’s recognizable steps. The steps came closer to her room, eventually stopping at her door, punctuated with a small knock.
“Alyx, honey, are you up?” asked a lady that Alyx could only assume was her mom.
For a moment, she wasn’t sure what to say. Alyx had obviously never met her mom and she didn’t know what to expect from her, not to mention that no matter how real she felt, this wasn’t her real mother.
“Alyx?” She asked again.
Alyx shook her head and finally responded, “Yeah, I’m up. Come in.”
The door pushed open and a lady stood on the other side. She looked exactly like the picture Alyx had spent ages looking at as a little girl. Alyx swallowed hard, trying to keep down the welling emotions. Reminding herself that she had to act casual, she couldn’t give these fakes any sign of weakness to latch onto.
“How are you feeling?” Azian asked as she walked closer to rest a hand on Alyx’s forehead, “Wish I had a chance to come see you this morning, but I was already in such a rush.” Alyx could hear the guilt in her voice.
“I’m fine, and it’s no trouble. You had to get to work.” Her voice cracked when she tried to speak, breaking her ‘perfectly fine’ persona.
“You don’t sound fine.” Her mom rested her hands on her shoulders, “What’s going on, you can tell me!” She gave Alyx such a sweet smile, but it didn’t work. Alyx shrugged her hands off and stepped back.
“I’m just tired, that’s all.” She lied, trying to sound as un-upset as possible, “I promise, I’m okay.”
“If you say so…” Azian didn’t look like she believed Alyx even a little bit, but she changed the subject nonetheless, “What do you want for dinner? Whatever you ask for, I’ll make it.”
Alyx walked to her bed and sat down, just trying to keep her eyes off of her mom, “I’m not hungry tonight, mom. Um, sorry.”
“Right, well let me know if you change your mind.” She quietly walked out of the room, pulling Alyx’s door closed behind her. Alyx held her breath until her footsteps got distant.
“Oh my God….” She gasped, rubbing at her face, “That was…” she just shook her head, trying to take deep, calming, breaths, “I need to get out of here as soon as possible, I don’t know how long I can keep this up.” She said to herself as she rested her head in her hands.
Trying to prepare for her heist that night proved to be a failure, as the disguise she’d picked out before wasn’t magically put away, but completely gone from existence, now leaving her without any clothes that resembled the uniform. While that certainly put another hitch in her plan, it wasn’t enough for her to call it off completely.
Instead, she dressed in the darkest clothes she had and tucked herself into bed. Faking being asleep until it was time for her to begin. Which was definitely the right idea, not too long after the sunset, her parents did come to check on her. The second her door opened, she could practically feel their suspicion of her coming off in waves, it was almost overwhelming. After they were finally gone, she waited an hour or two more, just to be fully sure that neither of them was coming back.
When she was sure she was safe, Alyx went for the window, not wanting to risk going out the front door and being spotted. While she’d gone on her fair share of stealth missions (-ahem- Jeff -ahem-), this one felt particularly high-stakes. Well, okay, maybe it was the second most high-stakes one she’d been one, (again, Jeff).
The streets were dark and empty, not a single star made an appearance on the night sky, leaving it an ominous inky black. Like a void that threatened to consume her and everyone on the planet. Despite there being no light around her, Alyx kept to the least visible places. Keeping close the walls as she snuck around the house, looking for any carelessly unlocked door or window.
‘Look at me,’ she thought to herself, ‘I’m like an old-timey villain or something.’ she had to hold back a snicker at the thought of her actually being a criminal. Although, he really was about to be, considering she was breaking into somebody's house. Family or not, still breaking and entering.
She was finally able to work open a window lock and slip inside the house, the inside being almost an exact duplicate of the home she’d just come from. At least, layout-wise. The pictures and furniture were different, but in a sort of someone just recolored them and moved their positions slightly kind of way.
This was just another reason on a very long list of reasons to not trust this place.
She walked as silently as she could through the house, checking everywhere she could for either man’s ID card. Barney’s ID had been her goal at first, but now she just wanted to get in and get out as fast as possible, so it didn’t really matter now.
Unluckily for her, neither ID card had been left on the first floor. Keeping to the walls (flooring is more settled near walls and heavy furniture, and thus, is less likely to squeak or make noise), she climbed the stairs. Unlike her home, there wasn’t a spare bedroom, just one long hallway leading to the master bedroom.
“Guess Josh moved out…” she mumbled and tried to keep herself calm as she approached the door. Alyx took a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open. In a stroke of luck, not only were they both asleep, but there was a dresser right near the door. On it rested Barney’s ID.
She held in a sigh of relief and grabbed the card, but when she looked up her heart sank. Barney was sitting straight up and staring her down. But he didn’t move, he was completely, unnaturally still. He wasn’t even breathing.
Alyx held the ID tightly as she backed away from the bedroom, Gordon sitting up in response to her movements. Her heart began to race and she froze in place, like a deer in headlights.
“Are... Are you guys okay?” She asked.
“Put that back, Ms.Vance.” Barney responded in a voice that wasn’t his, “You don’t need it.”
The pair stood from the bed, there were still in their clothes from the day. Like the second they stepped into their home, their lives just paused. Now they were unpaused and they were angry, not only were they angry, but they were heading right for Alyx.
“Shit!” She hissed and bolted down the steps, wasting no time looking for the window she’d climbed through and instead forced herself through the front door, her footsteps echoing down the street as she to make her way to Black Mesa.
In the time she took to look over her shoulder not only did she see that she was being chased by more than just Gordon and Barney, but she also slammed right into another person. In an instant, she was on the ground and the ID card had slipped from her hands.
Alyx groaned as she started to pick herself up, only to be pulled up harshly by her false dad and Barney. Once she was on her feet, they still didn’t let go, keeping firm grips on both of her arms. Leaving her to simply shake the hair from her face so she could see who stopped her.
Before her stood a very pale man, with eyes that were icy cold. Just seeing him was enough to bring the memories of what happened in the vault crawling back into her mind, this wasn’t some world in the vault, and getting out wasn’t going to be easy.
“What’s the matter, Ms.Vance?” He began to walk around her, vanishing and appearing in different places while she struggled to keep an eye on him, “Is this world not good enough for you?”
“Let me go!” She ordered like she had any say in this.
He appeared in front of her again, his hands folded nicely behind his back, “I’m afraid I don’t understand, Ms.Vance. This is your perfect world, is it not? I am giving you a very special chance to live normally.”
“I don’t want to live here, I want to go home!”
“How very odd…” He hummed, and Gordon came to his side, in response, the man rested a hand on his shoulder, “Mr.Freeman wanted to live in a world such as this. So much so that he was ready to forget about you all for it. To leave you behind for his perfect world.”
Alyx’s eyes darted between the two of them, trying to grasp what he was saying, “You’re lying! Gordon was kidnapped after Black Mesa!”
This seemed to assume the man, “Kidnapped? No. After coming into my employment, he chose to hideaway. He knew about the trouble you all would be in, and chose to forget it.”
“You really expect me to believe that?” Alyx was glaring daggers into his soul, but it had no effect on him.
“Believe what you like, Ms.Vance.” He stepped away from Gordon and came closer to her, “I am going to give you a choice, you may live in this world until you are needed or you may leave it now. Which do you choose?”
“Wow, you must really think I’m stupid!” she laughed, “I want out of here!”
He smiled a sickly smile at her and the world was soon consumed by that inky black void of a sky. Slowly, everyone but Alyx and the man vanished from sight, consumed by the shadows around them.
“I do hope you’re happy with your choice, Ms.Vance.” He began to step away from Alyx, who was looking at the emptiness around her.
“Wait, wait!” Alyx tried to stop him, “You said I could leave! You said-” but he was already gone and she was alone. Feeling lied too and betrayed. At first, all Alyx could think to do was run, hoping to find some sort of exit, but the hope didn’t last long as she grew more and more exhausted.
Soon, all she could do was sit and wait, while her mind raced and raced about everything she’d just been told.
“Gordon...He didn’t really try to abandon everyone. That’s stupid.” She told herself and she did believe it, but as time went on, the less it felt true. She’d have to ask him when she saw him again.
She had to see him again. Gordon, her dad, Barney, Russ, they’d all come looking for her and they’d save her. She just knew it. Soon enough, Alyx was asleep.