Chapter Text
Bucky woke Wednesday morning so eager he was practically vibrating. Generally, he woke slowly and sluggish. That morning though, his eyes snapped open and he was wide awake.
It was an unusual feeling. Something he couldn't ever remember doing before. Then again, he had never had a date with his absolute perfect match before. He had never gone out with someone he already treasured. Hell, he hadn’t actually ever treasured anyone before. It was all new territory for him.
Territory he was eager to explore. In the two days since they met, he and Steve had talked absolutely nonstop. About everything and nothing. He knew some of the smallest little details, like his love for sunrises and subsequent favorite color of yellow. He knew his biggest opinions, like his disdain for the Captain America image and very, very socialist ideals. From the small to the big, there wasn’t a thing Bucky heard about Steve Rogers he didn’t adore.
He shared himself with the other man as well. He spoke of his kids and horde of artworks. He told him what being a supernatural in twenty first century America was like. He told him he couldn't stand cheese and how he could very easily own fifty cats if he found a way. Steve responded to every little thing like Bucky was telling him the secrets of the universe. It made him like him even more.
He understood how his body could decide to have so much energy in anticipation to spend time with Steve. He had never looked forward to something more than that date. He just wished he had been at his own apartment instead of Becca’s, if only to avoid the shocked teasing grin she gave him when he left the guest room.
“Wow! You actually look alive! Is your Steve replacing caffeine?”
“Very funny.” he snarked back as he moved around her to pour himself a cup of said life’s blood. “When you find someone as perfect as Steve, I’ll remember this and taunt you tenfold.”
“Way you’ve been going on, I doubt that anyone else in the world is as perfect.”
“Well, that's true,” he gave a grin and easy shrug. “He is pretty impossible to beat.”
“Think you’ll be back tonight then?” she asked and he gave an immediate nod.
“Yeah. Steve doesn't give me ‘puts out on first date’ vibes.”
She gave him a soft smile. “I’m really happy for you, Bucky. You deserve something good after the year you’ve had.”
“Thanks, Becks.” he pulled her into a brief hug and then nodded to the door. “I’m going to head out. Want to grab Steve some flowers before I head to the Tower.”
“Get white roses.”
He paused in the motion of putting on his coat and gave her a curious look, “Why?”
“They symbolize new beginnings. Innocence. Young love.” she grinned with a shrug. “They’re also less stereotypical than red.”
“Right. White roses. Can do.” he placed a brief kiss to her cheek. “Thanks Becks. See you later.”
“Don’t worry! I won’t wait up!”
He rolled his eyes fondly as he left the apartment and jogged out of the building. He was far too eager to merely walk. Hell, a part of him wanted to sprint.
The florist around the corner was a perfect, and pleasantly quick, pit stop. He followed Becca’s advice and got white roses. Though, he also threw in a huge sunflower and had it tied with a yellow ribbon. Because they suited Steve, and he didn’t care if the florist looked at him weird.
It was a beautiful bouquet and he couldn't help staring at it with a dopey grin as he made his way to Tony’s lab. The billionaire noticed them immediately as well and cooed.
“Ah, Buckmiester! You got me flowers! You shouldn’t have!”
Bucky playfully glared and moved them away from his grabby hands. “Now way. These are not for you.”
“Who else would you bring flowers to?” Tony asked with an exaggerated pout. “Jarvis?”
“No. They’re for Steve.”
“Steve?”
“Rogers. We have a date today.” he couldn't help the delighted, proud tone his voice had at the words, a huge smile overcoming his face.
Tony blinked a couple of times and then his mouth fell open. “Wait, like our Steve? Avenger Steve! Captain America! ”
“Yes.”
Tony gave a surprised laugh. “How did you even meet!”
“We met after our last appointment. In the café downstairs. He’s amazing and I asked him out. So the flowers are for him.”
“Holy shit, you have a date with Captain America!”
Bucky shook his head. “No. Steve. Have you really not noticed he doesn't like the title?”
Tony frowned and crossed his arms. “No. Did he say so?”
“Oh yeah. He hates being seen as some sort of fictitious icon.”
“Huh.” Tony gave himself a small shake. “Suppose that makes perfect sense. Well! Congrats! Though I feel like I should be giving you a shovel talk.”
“You don’t need to worry at all about me hurting Steve.”
“Because he can crush your head with his thighs?” Tony asked with a small, salacious grin.
Bucky’s eyes widened and a brief sigh left him. “That is outrageously hot. But, no. Because I really, really like him. I felt a connection with him immediately. I’d never do anything to mess that up.”
“Like, a zmeu connection thing?”
“Yeah.” Bucky nodded. “I haven't really talked to him about it yet. I want to see how this date goes, you know?”
Tony gave a nod of his own. “You know, he’s the most accepting person I have ever met. He’s not going to judge whatever you tell him.”
“More worried about him being freaked out.”
“I’m not sure anything freaks that guy out.” Tony remarked. “I’m sure though that you will have a great time.”
“Me too. Never been more excited for anything.”
“And here I was, thinking you were eager to see the first prototype for your arm.”
Bucky’s eyes widened and he beamed. “You finished it!”
“Sure did.” Tony dramatically waved his arm over a black case before them. “Take a gander, my friend!”
He eagerly undid the case’s clasps, a small gasp leaving him when he took in the metal arm before him. It was sleek and brilliant silver, the plates reflecting light the same way his scales did. It was elegant and beautiful. Bucky immediately adored it.
He lifted the hand and studied it. He was instantly amazed by how light it was to hold and turned impressed eyes to its creator. “Tony, this is brilliant.”
“Of course it is, I made it.” his cocky grin turned cautious and he asked, “You really do like it? I can make adjustments if need be.”
“No!” he exclaimed, shaking his head. “I love it! When can we put it on?”
“This weekend if you want?”
He lifted his eyes once more to meet the engineer’s. “Really?”
“Yeah. Absolutely. Both Bruce and I are free. It’ll be a surgery and you’ll have to go under anesthesia. But we’re ready.”
“Let's do it.” he gave an enthusiastic nod. “I want to be used to it by the time school starts.”
“Don’t worry buddy, you will be.”
Bucky reluctantly put the hand back in its case and said, “Seriously, Tony. I will never be able to thank you enough for this.”
Tony waved the words away. “Nonsense. I’m happy to. This has been the most fun project I’ve had since I invented a new element. With far less structural destruction.”
Bucky snorted, though didn’t comment on whatever that meant, and said, “Still. Thank you. It means a lot.”
“Well. You’re welcome.” Tony shifted uncomfortably for a moment before asking, “Don’t you have a date to get to?”
“Yes!” his earlier giddiness returned, this time accompanied by nerves as he asked, “Where does Steve live?”
“Hey, J, will you make sure Capsicle is expecting Buckaroo here?”
“Captain Rogers is indeed expecting Mr. Barnes, sir.” the AI replied and Bucky couldn't help the grin that spread on his face.
“Jarvis will bring you up to his floor.” Tony told him. “Have fun, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
“I’m pretty sure our limit is far before yours.” Bucky joked and Tony laughed.
“Well then, you're just a pair of prudes!” he teased, causing Bucky to shake his head with a laugh of his own.
“Goodbye, Tony.”
“Bye lover boy! Show Cap a good time!”
“Intend to!”
As the elevator rode upwards, Bucky was filled with a sudden nervous anticipation. He was eager to see Steve. Eager to get to know him more. So eager, the elevator felt like it was moving at glacial speeds.
When it opened into a warm colored entrance way, Bucky’s eyes were immediately pulled onto the breathtaking man in the middle of the room.
He wore a deep blue shirt, the first few buttons undone and sleeves rolled up. It accented his forearms in a deliciously unfair way. His long legs were covered in form fitting black slacks, and for Bucky’s sanity he was glad Steve was facing him. The blonde’s golden hair was longer than he was expecting, long enough even to cover the tips of his ears. Despite the surprising length, it was styled just as elegantly as he had been sure it would be. He looked beautiful, charming and surprisingly sophisticated, despite the nervous smile on his face.
Bucky was drawn into his orbit immediately. It wasn’t just because his body was that of a modern god, or his face was ruggedly, yet charmingly, handsome. It was also because of his nearly pulsing aura of good . To Bucky, he screamed of everything right in the world. He was struck speechless and felt like he just had to be near him.
“You’re stunning.” he finally managed to say in lieu of greeting. “And I am so glad you agreed to go out with me today.”
Steve’s pale skin turned brilliantly red and he shook his head. “Thank you, Bucky, but no one holds a candle to you. I’m the lucky one.”
“You, Captain Rogers, are far too suave for your own good.” Bucky remarked with a grin as he walked into the room and held out the bouquet. “For you.”
Steve’s mouth fell open a small amount and he lifted a cautious hand, as if afraid to touch. “For me?”
“Absolutely.”
He took them, his touch reverent, and his lips pulled into a large grin. “Thank you! They’re beautiful.” he lifted wide eyes to meet Bucky’s. “I’ve never gotten flowers before. These are perfect.”
“Want me to help you put them in a vase?” Bucky asked, his head tilted with a smile of his own on his face. A primal part of him was pleased to be the first one to gift Steve in such a way, but he didn’t voice it.
“Oh.” Steve looked back down at the flowers with a frown. “I don’t have a vase.” Embarrassment was leaking through his voice, as if not having one was a character flaw.
Bucky couldn’t let that tone stay for even a moment, so he gave him a reassuring smile and said, “That’s okay. “We can put the ends in some water and pick one up on the way back?”
“Sounds like a plan!” Steve’s expression turned into a beaming smile and he walked further into the apartment, calling over his shoulder as he did so, “Come on in, Bucky. I’ll just put a little water in the sink for these.”
Bucky did, stepping past the entrance nook to take in Steve’s home. It radiated comfort. The couches were plush and a deep blue. The furniture, a warm wood. The thing Bucky was drawn to though, was the easel before the ceiling to floor windows and the painting placed on it.
He moved directly to it, eying it in awe. It was an elevated view of the Manhattan skyline. The Brooklyn Bridge expanded from the center. The sparkling city of glass faded at its edge in order to morph into a sepia, old fashioned Brooklyn. It was breathtaking, yet emotionally heart wrenching. Bucky needed it.
“This is beautiful.” Bucky said reverently as Steve came to join him.
“Oh. Thank you. I took the Manhattan skyline from that window.” he motioned towards said expanse of glass. “Brooklyn was added on a sleepless, homesick night.”
“Breathtaking.” he breathed, earning a small laugh.
“I guess? It's a little hard to look at more than I thought it would be. Have been thinking of hiding it in the office, actually.”
“Can I have it?” Bucky asked and then immediately cursed and turned scarlet. “I’m so sorry, Steve! That uh, that was a little forward. It's just, I’ve never seen art like this. That draws me in so completely. And I have a horde of it! A full, personal collection and this overpowers all of it. And holy shit, I should stop talking!”
Steve chuckled and gave a small shake of his head. “No, you don’t need to stop talking. Of course you can have it.”
“Really?” Bucky’s eyes went wide and he was barely able to stop himself from gaping at him.
“Art should always go to someone who will admire it.” Steve replied simply. “I can't bring myself to admire it, but if you can, it's yours.”
“I adore it.” Bucky turned to face him fully. “Generally, I’m drawn to kids art because it's so honest and pure. This, this is beyond that. It's your heart in a cityscape. Thank you so much for giving me something so personal.”
Steve’s cheeks turned a brilliant crimson. “You’re welcome Bucky.”
They stared at each other for a long moment. Bucky couldn't help but take in Steve’s open, honest expression. His sincerity and trust in Bucky taking a literal piece of himself obvious on his face. Steve hadn’t at all minded how he had almost immediately claimed it. It made his attraction to him so much stronger.
Steve broke the stare first by giving a shy grin and nodding to the exit. “Shall we?”
“Absolutely!” Bucky grinned widely . “I didn’t make a plan, but I figured it might be fun to just wing it? Walk until we find something good?”
“Yeah.” he returned the grin easily with an eager nod. “That sounds good to me.”
They left the Tower, both radiating with jittery nerves. Bucky would glance to the side and meet Steve’s eyes for a moment before they both grinned and looked away. He felt like a teenager on his first date. It was thrilling.
Steve seemed to be in the same state of mind. Though his famous courage didn't seem to fail him, even in the face of a first date, as he voiced something Bucky had wanted to himself.
“Can I hold your hand?”
Bucky didn’t verbally reply, just immediately slid his hand into Steve’s. The taller man squeezed his hand and gave him a wide smile.
“Thank you. I’m sorry. I know I’m being really awkward. I’ve just never done this before. I don’t want to mess up. Weird you out.”
“You could never.” Bucky praised firmly, giving a squeeze of his own to Steve’s hand. “I’m just as nervous too.”
“Nothing to be nervous about.” Steve assured him as well and Bucky shot him a grin.
“Neither do you. Like I said the other day, just be you.”
“I can do that.”
From there, the nerves seemed to evaporate and they fell into an easy, companionable swing. Steve was so easy to talk to. He was open and kind. Funny and real. Bucky could listen to him rant about something as boring as paint brushes for hours if the blonde wanted.
He may not rant about brushes specifically, but he was very passionate about his art. Bucky was enthralled and wanted to know all he could about it. Anything to see that spark in his brilliantly blue eyes.
“What got you into art?” he asked as they meandered down the streets aimlessly, hand in hand.
“Well, I was bedridden a lot.” Steve replied. “I didn’t have a lot of outlets. Art became a way to cope. To stay stimulated. I fell in love with it. Even drew for some newspapers. And did some blues.”
“Blues?”
A brilliant flush came over Steve’s face as he ducked his head before stating, “Adult art. Pornography.”
“Ah.” Bucky nodded. “Did that pay decently well? I can imagine an artist of your calibre was in high demand.”
Steve playfully rolled his eyes and gave his arm a nudge. “Well, it paid better than being a bag boy at the local grocer.” he gave a shrug. “It wasn’t so bad though. I got to practice anatomy. Which I liked.”
“Oh? You like drawing people?”
He nodded. “Every person is different. I like drawing those differences. They bring life to art.”
“Nothing is fun when it’s repetitive.” Bucky agreed.
“Is that why you like kids?”
He laughed and gave a little nod. “Oh yeah. No day is ever the same.”
“That was the army too,” Steve replied, but then frowned. “Though, I guess that wasn’t always a good thing.”
“I admire you for being able to do that.” Bucky admitted softly. “I think I’d have been scared shitless to join the army.”
“Really?” Steve’s tone was nothing but surprise. “You don’t seem to be scared of anything.”
“I give off major dragon vibes.” he teased. “But really though, combat and fighting scare the shit out of me. I stay in shape with basic workouts. Won't even join my buddy boxing.”
“How come?” Steve’s question was just pure curiosity. It contained none of the normal confusion or judgement so Bucky gave him a thankful smile as he replied.
“I guess it's because I’m scared of hurting him. Or anyone really. Zmeu are stronger than most baseline humans. They’re also hardwired to, not enjoy per say, but appreciate violence. I don’t want to ever feel that way.”
“I understand entirely.” Steve admitted in a small voice. “When I first got the serum I was afraid to touch anyone. I would break everything it seemed, and I didn’t want to hurt someone. Well, beside myself. I lost count of the amount of glass milk bottles I used too much force with. So many little glass shards!” he shook his head with a small self deprecating grin that slid off his face when he spoke again.
“People seem to think I enjoy violence. That I’m all for the over inflated military and war.” he let out an almost pained sigh. “No one ever thinks about the differences. The circumstances. I didn’t join the army because I love America. Because I wanted to kill Nazis. I joined because I knew if Germany won, that would be the end of the freedoms we knew. The fascism would expand. People would die. I don’t want to fight. I want to defend.”
Bucky didn’t think this man could get anymore perfect, but here he was. Defying odds again. “That’s pretty obvious when you think about it.” he assured him. “I mean, your weapon is a shield. Don’t know how much more you could do to show that you’re the ultimate defender.”
He chuckled. “That was my thought, too. I honestly don’t know how I became this, this thing I am now.”
“I do.” Bucky said with a sad frown, earning a questioning look from Steve. “Following the war, your war, America came out this, this holier than thou victor. Americans became obsessed with the ‘American Dream’ and anti communism. It became the ‘perfect’ country with values that had never really existed before. The nuclear family, white picket fence nonsense became the goal in life. They made this impossible ideal and bore it into everyone’s heads that that's what we’re supposed to strive for. They forgot what the war they had just fought in had been about. They forgot the hardships of the thirties. All that was important was being the best. Having the best things. They instilled those ideas in their kids, and the Boomers have run with it.”
“Boomers?”
Bucky gave a small laugh at the confused furrow in his brow. “People born in the fifties and sixties. They’re called Boomers. It's their generation that have become obsessed with ‘American Might’. With having the toughest army. With being the leading superpower. The biggest and baddest. And, I’m sorry, it's their generation that used your image to further their ideals. That turned Captain America from the hero you are, to a propaganda image.”
Steve was quiet for long enough that Bucky was worried he had gotten upset. He was just about to ask if he was okay when he spoke.
“That’s all anyone thinks I am now. A comic book character. A political poster. A fictitious man. Captain America, the one most know, he doesn’t exist. I know I’ve told you how much it frustrates me, but it's so beyond that. That Captain, he thinks and says and does things that make my stomach turn.
“It's like everyone forgot that I was a real person. That I did things that version of Captain America never would. They don’t even know, or care, that my first ‘mission’ was entirely just me going rouge. I was expecting a court martial. I got a medal. They ignore the fact that my unit was the first desegregated unit. Ever. So that they can turn me into a racist who opposed the Civil Rights movement.
“They turned me into a closed minded, bigoted conservative spokesman. That's all they expect of me, and can’t handle it when that’s not who I am. No one really knows me, or wants to know me. They want that Captain America.” he shook his head, a frown cemented firmly on his face. “I can’t pretend to be him, Bucky.”
Bucky stopped walking and glanced around the busy sidewalk. When he found a clear section, he gently herded Steve to it and squeezed Steve’s hand firmly while staring into his eyes. “Never, ever pretend to be someone you aren’t. I happen to think the real Steve Rogers is a thousand times better than that Captain America. I’d punch that guy in the face. Yours though, I’d much rather kiss. This century is so full of judgement and opinions. Everyone has one, but you can't let them, for even one moment, dictate who you are. How you feel.”
Steve stared at him, slack jawed and wide eyed for a moment before asking in a surprisingly breathy voice, “Are you real?”
His words surprised a laugh out of Bucky, but Steve shook his head and carried on. “No, I’m serious. You barely know me, and I’m here on our first date making things heavy and tense because I don’t know how to socialize and all you do is tell me you like who I am and to be me? I have no idea what I’m doing, am stumbling in the dark and you don't even for one second seem like you want to leave me there. I don’t understand how someone like you exists because you, Bucky Barnes, are far too good to be true.”
This time, Bucky was the one left speechless. He had known Steve was nervous, but had no idea that the other man was as terrified about messing up as he was. To him, it was an absolutely ludicrous notion that he could mess anything up. He didn’t know how Steve didn’t see that. So, all Bucky could do was shake his head as he tried to gather his thoughts. Finally, he said softly, “Every relationship has a learning curve, Steve. I’ve never had one I wanted to truly progress. You though, I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t. I want to stumble in the dark with you. Learn with you.”
“Even if I accidentally bring heavy conversation out and put a cloud over us?” Steve asked with a dry tone and another wry, self deprecating smile.
“Steve, we could talk about bananas or about your opinion on abortion and I’d be hundred percent invested.”
“Bananas are disgusting and abortion is entirely a woman’s right and no one else deserves a say.”
Bucky laughed and squeezed his hand. “See! Two things we agree on, and even if we didn't I would still be invested. No nerves. No fear. Nothing you could say would change my mind about wanting to know you. I promise I’m real. I promise I’m serious.”
“You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” Steve said, his tone drowning in awe.
Bucky blushed. “You’re going to make my head grow far more than it needs to. Besides, look who's talking.”
Steve ducked his head, looking up at Bucky through his lashes with a sheepish grin. When the grin died down and he lifted his head again, he asked cautiously, “So, if I totally didn’t bring the date down, you want to find a place to eat?”
“I would absolutely love to.”
Bucky didn’t know how someone as kind and brilliant as Steve was so self conscious. He wanted to go back in time and destroy any and everyone who had ever made this truly beautiful man doubt himself. Because now that Bucky really looked, he could see that that's what Steve did. Doubted.
As they walked, he kept his head turned entirely to face Bucky. He didn’t once let his profile face him. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why. It's like he didn’t want Bucky out of his sight. Like he thought he would disappear if he did.
He was surprised when Bucky initiated touch. When they were seated at the diner, his foot pressed against Steve’s caused the blonde to freeze for a moment before a smile came across his face. His eyes widened when Bucky placed his hand over his on top of the table. It was like he wasn’t used to casual touch.
He was incredibly uncertain about ordering food too, blushing a brilliant scarlet after doing so. “I, uh, I eat a lot.”
“Well, you gotta power that super soldier metabolism somehow.” Bucky replied with a simple shrug and Steve gave a small grin in response.
“Yeah. But it can be off putting.”
“Don’t worry, Steve. I’ve got a pretty big appetite too.”
Despite the fact that, after earlier, Steve likely questioned everything he said or did, things were still easy. Comfortable. There were no awkward silences or painful tension. There was no hesitation to share life stories, from sad to embarrassing and everything in between. Though Bucky could tell something was still holding the other man back.
It wasn’t withheld for long. After dinner, they took another walk. This time along the waterfront. It was peaceful and romantic. Bucky wanted to stay in the moment forever. Though, more than anything, he wanted to kiss Steve.
He couldn’t resist telling him so either. “I’d really, really like to kiss you right now.” He admitted into the quiet between them.
His reaction wasn’t at all what he was expecting. Steve became tense at his side and in a small voice said, “Bucky, I have to tell you something.”
Steve was terrified. He had had the best day of his life with this amazing man beside him, and he was terrified that he was about to lose it. Lose him. But he couldn’t lie to him. He couldn’t start a relationship without Bucky knowing what he really is.
“You can tell me anything, Steve.” he sounded so sincere, but Steve still had to take a deep breath to center himself.
“What everyone knows about me is a lie. I don’t mean the Captain America stuff. I mean me. Who I am. What I am.” he took another pained deep breath, his shoulders curling in on himself. “I’ve been told my entire life that what I am is bad. Toxic. When I became, this,” he gestured to himself, “I was forbidden from letting it out. Because heaven forbid Captain America be anything less than human. Especially the monster I am.”
“Steve, no! You could never possibly be a monster.” Bucky interrupted firmly.
“You don’t even know what I am.”
“Doesn’t matter what species you are! Do you think I’m a monster?”
“No!” Steve exclaimed, turning to look at Bucky with overly wide eyes. “No, Bucky, you’re the most amazing, beautiful person I have ever met.”
“But I’m not human.”
“That doesn’t matter!”
“Then why does it matter for you?” Bucky implored and Steve curled in on himself again.
“Because you aren’t toxic.” he replied in a soft voice. “You don’t exist to bend others to your will. To force them to like you, to want you, with a touch.”
“Do you think you coerced me here?” Bucky asked, his arm hugging his chest and a glare coming on his face. “Because I can assure you, you absolutely did not.”
“I know.” Steve looked down, his eyes stuck on his hands as he twisted his fingers together. “You aren’t a woman. My so-called ‘charms’ wouldn’t work on you. That doesn't mean you would, or should, be with a being that is designed to make people want them. Designed to manipulate and control. I’m basically an incubus, Buck, and you deserve an angel. You deserve someone who isn’t poison.”
“You aren’t poison!” Bucky’s hand was suddenly on Steve’s cheek, gently forcing him to meet his eyes. “Do you want to know what you are to me, Steve Rogers?”
Steve gave a shallow nod of his head and Bucky gently rubbed his thumb on his cheek before saying, “You’re what zmeu call a True Compatible. Someone who we’re designed to have perfect chemistry with. Even more than that, you are a treasure. ”
He leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. “After one hour of knowing you, my brain knew it. It said, ‘This one? He’s yours. Protect him. Keep him. Know him.’ I have a lot in my horde, but never, ever have I seen a person as a treasure. Except you.”
Steve let out a choked sob and wrapped an arm around Bucky’s waist. “I’m a gancanagh. It's an Irish incubi fae. I’ve never had love, because women fear me. Even men are disgusted by me when they know. My species, we’re known for being controlling and taking what we want. We literally excrete a toxin to do so! Nobody truly wants something like me. Not when they know.”
“I do.” Bucky said vehemently “I told you, there isn’t a thing you can tell me that will change my mind. You’re my treasure now, Steven. You don’t have to prove a damn thing. You’re the last person who would ever force anyone to be or do anything. Don’t force yourself either. You don’t have to hide a damn thing about you.”
Steve fell forward, clinging to Bucky’s waist and burying his face in his neck. No one had ever told him that. Told him it was okay to just be what he was. Who he was. To not hide himself from anyone. He wasn’t sure if Bucky was right, but merely the fact that a man as wonderful as this one saw him as a treasure was enough to make him think he could try.
He was surprised when tears started to fall from his eyes, and even more surprised when Bucky began to run his fingers through his hair. They stood like that for a long time, just letting the emotions run through them. When Steve eventually pulled away, it was to meet Bucky’s soft eyes. The brunet lifted his hand to wipe away the tear tracks and gave him a gentle smile.
“Thank you, Steve. For trusting me with this. For telling me.”
“I really like you, Bucky.” Steve admitted in a voice as gentle as the other man’s expression. “I couldn’t start something with you with a secret like this hanging over us. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I really like you too, Steve.” Bucky told him. “And I understand how you feel. I wanted to tell you about the, well the essentially claiming you as mine thing before we really went anywhere too. I just didn’t want to freak you out.”
“Freak me out?” Steve gave an incredulous shake of his head. “Not at all. I’m honored, Buck.”
Bucky’s hand came to his face again, but higher. His thumb landed on Steve’s cheekbone and fingers brushed along his ear. He let out an involuntary shudder at the sensation the touch caused and Bucky’s hand immediately disappeared.
“Shit! I’m sorry, Steve!”
He shook his head. “No, it's okay Bucky.” he pushed his hair off his ears and gave a sheepish smile. “They’re just a little sensitive.”
Bucky’s eyes skittered across his features for a moment before they dilated drastically. “I was really sure you couldn’t get more attractive. Was absolutely wrong.”
Steve knew his cheeks far surpassed scarlet as he shook his head. “You’re a charmer, Buck.”
“I’m just honest.” Bucky lifted his hand and slowly placed it back on Steve’s cheek, as if waiting for him to pull away. He leaned into it instead and Bucky’s fingers lightly brushed the lobe of his ear. “Everything about you is stunning, and if it's okay with you, I’d really like to kiss you now.”
“Yes. Yes, please.”
He knew that his words came out desperate, but he didn't care. Bucky didn’t seem to either. As soon as he had finished speaking, Bucky was leaning forward and pressing their lips together. Steve fell into it immediately, arms wrapping around the other man’s waist. He pulled Bucky flush to him and fell into his embrace eagerly, giving everything he had into the kiss.
They kissed until they couldn’t breathe, and then just stood there, foreheads pressed together as they breathed in each other's air. When Steve opened his eyes, he immediately met Bucky’s heavy stare.
“Wow.” he said breathlessly and Steve gave an eager nod.
“Hell of a first kiss.”
“Best I’ve ever had.” Bucky agreed.
Steve smiled dopily and let out a delighted sigh. All through dinner, he had agonized over telling Bucky about his fae genetics. He should have known he was stressing for nothing. Bucky was just way too good to judge anyone for anything, let alone their species.
He couldn’t help thanking him though, his tone coming out awed. “Thank you, Bucky. For being so, I don’t know, understanding?”
“There’s no need to thank me, Steve. I know you have a lifetime of bigotry and repression to get around. It won't be easy to get into your head how amazing you are when way too many people have told you otherwise. I have every intention of making sure you know it though.”
“You plan on sticking around then?” Steve asked. He attempted to sound teasing, but knew it came out more nervous then he was intending.
“You’re stuck with me now, Rogers. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I think I’m okay with that,” he replied firmly and then leaned in to initiate another kiss.
This one was just as slow and deep as the other, the heaviness of their earlier conversation giving the slow caress of their lips an intensity. Though an intensity like nothing he had ever felt. Every other person Steve had kissed had a desperation to get off. To not get caught. With Bucky, it was just passion. Enthusiasm. Though there was nothing hurried about it.
Both men were smiling when they pulled apart, lips still slightly brushing. After a moment they separated and Bucky brushed Steve’s hair from his face. “You know, I still owe you a vase.”
Steve hummed and gave a nod. “I think you do. And I have a painting for you.”
A huge grin lit Bucky’s face and he gave a nod as well. “Oh yes, you do. Shall we?” he asked in an echo of Steve’s words earlier, though this time it was accompanied with a held out hand in invitation.
He took it without hesitation and Bucky’s grin turned positively radiant. He lowered their hands between them, swinging them happily as they began to walk back to the Tower.
Unlike the beginning of their date, there was no nervous energy. Steve was no longer terrified, the truth of his fae race was a giant burden no longer on his shoulders. They were both content, happy, relaxed. They didn’t even really speak, just basked in the other’s presence. It was wonderful. Beautiful, even. When they eventually did reach the Tower, a fancy glass vase held protectively in Steve’s hands, he was disappointed.
Bucky seemed to be too. When they reached his floor, he watched Steve with a softness in his expression as he bustled around the apartment. He may have taken more time than necessary to arrange the flowers and wrap the painting in protective paper. He just really didn’t want Bucky to leave.
When he handed the painting over, Bucky’s hand clasped over his. He stared at him with such feeling that Steve felt his stomach twirl in response. “Thank you.” he said. “Not just for this,” he nodded at the painting, ‘but for today. For an amazing date and for feeling like you can be yourself with me. I really can’t wait to see you again.”
“Me too.” Steve agreed breathlessly, “When do you think that’ll be?”
“As soon as possible.” Bucky insisted firmly.
“I am here whenever you are available.” he replied, stepping closer to the other man. “Any time.”
“Two in the morning?” Bucky teased, but Steve nodded.
“Early hours dates could be romantic.”
He laughed and leaned forward to press a fleeting kiss to Steve’s lips. It was soft and gentle, especially in comparison to their other two. It still left them both grinning, and Steve’s heart racing.
“I’d be up for a midnight date sometime actually.” Bucky said. “Though, I’d be up for a date with you anytime.”
“Me too.” they stood staring at each other for a moment. Bucky surprised him, yet again, by lifting his hand to trace lightly over his left ear. He gave a little shudder and outrageously soft smile. A smile Bucky returned immediately.
“Goodnight, Stevie.”
“Goodnight, Buck.”