Chapter Text
Joe wished he could reach out and take Nicky’s hand.
After surviving their 9 a.m. lecture, they were now in The Old Guard , in the middle of their first tutoring session. Nicky was wearing a white shirt that made his blue eyes even brighter. Joe also noticed that he was wearing a small golden earring. Putting down his espresso, Nicky looked at Joe questioningly.
Joe startled. ‘Sorry, did you say something?’
Nicky laughed and repeated his question about the Peloponnesian War. Joe tried to get his focus back and help Nicky with his work. No matter how interesting he thought Ancient History was, Joe wished they were talking about something else. He wanted to ask Nicky about his hobbies, about his favourite book, about his childhood and if he missed Italy. What was his favourite season, and what did he like for breakfast? But he felt like they weren’t close enough yet. After their night at the bar last Saturday, they had been texting almost every day. If Joe’s heart had jumped a bit when Nicky sent him that first text, no one had to know, right?
10:41 Good morning J. I had a great time last night and it was lovely to meet your friends.
10:49 This is Nicky btw
10:49 Or “Blueberry Muffin Guy” apparently ;)
Joe tries to be a good student, he really does. That includes concentrating on his reading and not looking at his phone the entire time. But Nicky’s texts had made it hard for him to concentrate this week. He found himself distracted by the vibrations of his phone, indicating a new message, but when he put his phone on airplane mode he was still thinking about it the entire time.
Andy and Booker had found him on the couch multiple times, his books neglected on the coffee table and a half-finished assignment on his laptop, grinning at his phone. They teased him about his crush but Joe didn’t mind. They’re right , he thought, I am a little bit obsessed .
He took another piece of baklava from the plastic container that Nicky had brought with him. ‘You are like a cooking god, this is the best thing I’ve ever had.’
Nicky looked up from his laptop and smiled. ‘I am glad that you like them, Joe. It is my grandmother’s recipe. She has kept it a secret for years, even my mum doesn’t know it, but when I moved here she gave me instructions on how to make it. It is nice - to have a piece of home with me.’
‘Do you miss it?’ Joe asked. ‘Italy? Your family?’
‘Now, not so much. I love it here, so that makes it better. But last year, when I did not know many people, I missed my family. At home, there is always something going on: people are visiting, my grandmother would be cooking and ordering everyone to set the table or do the dishes, my cousins running around. I miss the … I was never alone, you know? And coming here, especially at the start, it could be a bit lonely. But then I met Nile in an Medieval Art course we both took, and I got to know more people at different events. Italy will always be my home, but I feel at home here too, now. It is more about the people than about the place, I think. Although moving to a different location also gives me a sense of adventure, because nothing is the same. So even something as mundane as going grocery shopping is more fun when it is in another country. I am sorry, I’m rambling, it must be boring to hear all this,’ Nicky finished his story.
‘No, don’t worry about it! It’s super interesting to hear,’ Joe said with a comforting smile. ‘I’m glad you’re not homesick anymore. I know the feeling of home not always being a place. I grew up here and I’ve known this city my whole life, so I’d say this is my home. But when I was 17, I went to Morocco with my parents, to the wedding of a cousin. I had never been there before, and had never met my family members in real life, although I’d spoken to them on the phone. Still, it all felt very familiar. A sense of belonging and calmness, as if my blood recognized its history.’
‘Were your parents born in Morocco?’ Nicky asked.
‘Just my father. When he was at uni, he did a semester abroad - at this university. Then he met my mum, and the rest is history. He had to go back to finish his degree, but came straight back here to be with her. He found his home away from home, I guess,’ Joe said.
‘What a beautiful story,’ Nicky sighed. ‘He found his home in a person. I too hope to find that one day.’
Me too , Joe thought.
Nile appeared next to their table. ‘Listen guys, I don’t want to interrupt your … studying,’ she said, looking at the books that hadn’t been paid attention to in a while, ‘but I think you should go, Joe, since you have an afternoon lecture?’
Startled, Joe looked at the time on his phone, and saw that Nile was right, of course - he had been coming here every Friday since the beginning of this semester, and by now she knew that he had to leave a little before 1 p.m. to make it to his lecture on time. Shit . He quickly grabbed his books and laptop and shoved them in his bag.
‘Nicky, I am so sorry, I have to go. Listen - Andy, Booker, and I always have a movie night on Fridays, do you want to come tonight? I have to ask them, but I’m sure they’ll be fine with it if you join. Think about it. I’ll text you the address later, I really need to run now,’ Joe rambled, turning around and almost bumping into Nile. Nile, who was looking at him with an amused smile and a raised eyebrow.
‘You can come too, Nile, you know you’re always welcome,’ Joe said.
‘Just checking. See you tonight Joe,’ she yelled after him as he ran outside.
Nile turned to Nicky and saw him following Joe with his eyes.
‘Sooo,’ she said.
Nicky looked up at her, doing a bad job of concealing the hearts in his eyes. ‘What is it, Nile?’
‘Oh you know what’s up, casanova. How are things going between you guys?’
‘Nothing is going on, he’s just helping me with my coursework. He’s not interested in me like that,’ Nicky muttered.
‘I don’t know what kind of course you need tutoring for, but I heard you guys talk about finding home in a person? What was that all about?’ Nile replied, unconvinced that there wasn’t a great love story in the making here.
‘I just told him about my first year here. You know how I was before I met you and got to know more people. I was kind of a sad mess, really. Now, though, I feel more relaxed here, I’ve really found my place. Then Joe told me about his parents, how they met, and that his dad moved here to be with his mum. Very adorable. But that’s all. I promise!’ Nicky added when he saw the look on Nile’s face.
‘Sure thing honey. Are you coming tonight?’
Nicky nodded.
‘Well, see you tonight then. I gotta get back to work now, bye bye,’ Nile said.
Nicky’s phone vibrated.
13:02 Made it to my lecture on time :)
13:02 Sorry we couldn’t finish our conversation
13:03 I hope you can make it tonight
13:03 You’re welcome from 6, the movie will start at 7 ;)
Joe sent another text with his address. Nicky quickly typed his reply.
13:05 I’ll be there! Looking forward to see you again
Shit, that’s a bit too much , Nicky thought.
13:06 And Andy and Booker
13:06 Now focus on your lecture, otherwise you’ll need a tutor too ;)
He put down his phone and looked at his assignments. Only two more questions to answer, and then he was done. He got to work, hoping it would make the time pass more quickly.
He suddenly couldn’t wait for it to be 6 p.m.
***
Joe left Booker and Andy in the living room, bickering over which movie to watch, and went to answer the doorbell. The moment he opened the door and saw Nicky, he felt a rush of emotions: comfort, belonging, desire, excitement.
Nicky was wearing the same black jeans as that afternoon, but had changed into a comfortable and soft looking grey sweater under a black leather jacket. He was also carrying a bottle of rosé, damp from the condensation.
‘Come in, come in,’ Joe said, stepping backwards and taking Nicky’s jacket from him. ‘You didn’t have to bring anything though!’
‘Thanks,’ Nicky said as he walked towards the living room, ‘but I just wanted to thank you for inviting me. Ciao guys, what’s up?’ he said when he saw Booker and Andy.
They greeted him while Joe got more beer from the fridge for everyone.
‘Have you decided on a movie?’ Joe asked, sitting down on the couch next to Nicky, ignoring the small thrill of excitement that he felt.
‘Book wanted to watch Mission Impossible , but I argued for Love Actually or Die Hard , since the Christmas season is coming up and we all know I love a good Christmas movie.’ Andy said.
‘I told her it’s only November, so that’s too early for a Christmas movie. But hey, Nicky, you’re our guest. What do you want to watch? Mission Impossible , Love Actually , or Die Hard ?’ Booker asked.
Nicky smiled. ‘I think it’s never too early for Christmas movies. Besides, they already have the lights in the trees and there’s Christmas decoration everywhere. So I’d say Love Actually .’
Andy and Joe high-fived. Love Actually was one of their favourite movies. Last year, Joe remembers, they watched it about four or five times.
They all talked for a bit about how their week had been, the upcoming holiday season - which also meant exam season - and they discussed their favourite movies and TV shows. Nile, who had to work until 6 p.m., eventually joined them and helped Booker to get the food from the kitchen. They had prepared nachos, pizzas, and a bowl with cucumber slices, to make it feel a bit more healthy.
‘Hmm,’ Nicky moaned around a slice of pizza, ‘this is not bad guys! Where did you get it?’
‘Joe made it,’ Andy said.
Nicky turned towards Joe. Now that Nile was sitting on his right, Nicky was suddenly a lot closer, Joe noticed.
‘Really? It’s good! I think even my grandmother would like this,’ Nicky laughed.
Joe blushed and clinked his beer bottle to Nicky’s. ‘Cheers to that.’
They started the movie and continued eating, Nicky licking his fingers after every slice of pizza, Joe wishing he could do it for him.
Every now and then, he or Andy would get more beer, since they had already seen the movie so many times. Once the food was finished, Nicky moved around a bit to find a more comfortable position on the couch. When he settled down, his leg was resting against Joe’s. Joe froze for a minute, until he turned his head to look at Nicky - and found him already looking back.
‘Hey,’ Nicky said so quietly that only Joe could hear him. Joe’s mind was running over all the possible situations. Did Nicky like him?
‘Hi,’ he whispered back, not knowing what else to say. Does he like me?
Ten minutes that felt like an eternity later, Joe and Nicky were glued together from shoulder to ankle. Joe had also not paid attention to the movie for the last ten minutes, his entire being focused on Nicky. The realisation that his feelings might be mutual made him feel more alive than he’s ever felt. Or maybe it was the rush of adrenaline that he felt every time Nicky made the smallest movement.
If Joe hadn’t been focused on Nicky with his whole being, he probably wouldn’t have noticed that Nicky was slowly moving his hand from where it was resting on his own thigh to Joe’s thigh. Joe wished he was brave enough to reach out and hold Nicky’s hand. He allowed himself to feel some hope, and think that Nicky saw him as more than a friend, but he feared what would happen if he was wrong. He couldn’t think straight, sitting on the couch next to his crush, all his senses screaming Nicky, Nicky, Nicky .
Feeling overwhelmed, he got up and went to the kitchen, with the excuse of getting more beer. He put his hands on the counter and dropped his head between his shoulders. He wanted this so badly - but was afraid of getting hurt.
Suddenly he felt a hand on his back. He turned around and saw Nicky standing there. Here in the bright kitchen light, his features looked sharper, his eyes bluer. Joe curled his hands into fists to keep himself from reaching out.
‘Listen, Joe,’ Nicky said quietly, ‘I’m so sorry if I overstepped. I read the signs wrong, I think, and I apologize. I’ll go now, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’
‘You… what?’ Joe said, confused.
‘I tried to ignore it, but the feeling didn’t go away. I spoke to Nile this afternoon, after you left. She allowed me to… feel some hope? That maybe I wasn’t alone in what I felt?’
‘Are you serious Nicky? Please - I can’t take it if you’re joking,’ Joe pleaded. He stepped forward and pushed Nicky against the counter on the other side of the kitchen, which was really only one step away. They were still students, after all, and didn’t have the luxury of a big kitchen. ‘Tell me what you feel.’
Nicky curled his arms around Joe’s back and touched their lips together. ‘This,’ he breathed, moving his lips to Joe’s neck, ‘and this,’ on his jaw, ‘and this.’
Joe cupped Nicky’s face with his hands and kissed him again. And again. And again, slow and soft, running his tongue over Nicky’s lips, feeling him open up. He didn’t know how much time had passed when they stopped, resting their foreheads together, arms around each other.
‘Nicky,’ Joe said, his brain not capable of stringing together a coherent sentence.
‘I know, mi amore,’ Nicky said with a smile that really did transform his entire face.
How did I become so lucky , Joe thought, but he said ‘we should probably get back. They’ll wonder what’s taking us so long.’
‘I don’t think we have to worry,’ Nicky laughed, ‘since they sent me out here. Apparently they noticed what was going on before we did.’
Thank god for their friends. Joe kissed him again. Now that he could, he didn’t see himself stopping anytime soon. Nicky pushed him away gently and laughed. ‘As much as I’d love to continue this, let’s go back, okay?’
‘Okay.’ Joe started to turn around and walk back when he heard Nicky say his name. He looked back at him and saw that he was holding out his hand. Joe smiled and took Nicky’s extended hand, intertwining their fingers.
‘Now we can go,’ Nicky said softly, squeezing their hands together.
***
Andy, Booker, and Nile were not surprised at all when they saw the two holding hands. The movie was quickly forgotten and they asked the new couple - ‘Wait, are you two official now?’ Nile had asked. Joe had looked at Nicky, who was sitting next to him, fingers still intertwined, and had raised his eyebrows. ‘Joe, do you want to be my boyfriend?’ Nicky had asked. ‘Yes of course, Nico, I’m not kissing all my friends like that,’ Joe had said with a laugh, and Nicky just had to kiss him again - all kinds of questions, that they hadn’t even had the time to talk about themselves, but Joe felt a warm feeling and knew they would figure it out.
***
I want to marry him one day . The thought popped into Joe’s head the next day. They had spent the day together: coffee in the park, browsing in bookstores, and going to a market, where Nicky had bought fresh produce that he’d used to make Joe the mouth-watering dinner they’d just eaten.
Joe knew they should be careful and not move too fast, but how could he hold back when all day long he felt as if the puzzle pieces that made up his life were falling into place, with every story and every kiss they shared?
They were in Nicky’s apartment now. Their plates were next to the sink, Joe was sitting on the couch with Nicky next to him. Joe was sitting sideways, one leg up on the couch, Nicky’s hand resting on it. With his other hand, Nicky was holding his wine glass and gesticulating while he told a story about Italy, food, his family. Joe was a bit wine drunk and did not remember the last time he felt this happy comfortable. He moved his hand to cover Nicky’s.
‘Babe,’ he whispered, gently interrupting Nicky’s story. In Nicky’s eyes, Joe saw his own feelings reflected. He placed his glass on the coffee table and moved closer to Nicky. He studied his face and felt tears welling up in his eyes. This made Nicky look a bit shocked and scared, and he immediately asked Joe what was wrong.
‘Nothing, I am just really happy I met you,’ Joe said, wiping away his tears, unsure why he was suddenly feeling so emotional.
‘Me too, dearest. I feel like I’ve won the lottery,’ Nicky said.
Nicky leaned forward and closed the distance between them. The kiss was a bit wet and salty, but Joe didn’t care. His hands explored Nicky’s back, arms, and ended up tangled in his hair. Nicky tilted his head back and moaned softly.
After a few minutes, Nicky got up from the couch. ‘This will be more comfortable in the bedroom,’ he said with a playful smile. Joe laughed and followed him, hugging Nicky from behind as they stumbled to the bedroom.
***
The next morning, Joe woke up before Nicky, who was still asleep and snoring lightly. Joe made his way to the kitchen to find some coffee.
When he got back, with two cups on a tray, Nicky was awake and looking at him.
‘Good morning, darling,’ he said, blue eyes sparkling with happiness, and indicating that Joe should come sit next to him.
Joe got back in bed and Nicky drew him in for a quick kiss, careful not to spill the coffee. As they were drinking their coffee and talking about what they’d do that day, Joe realized that he wanted to spend eternity with Nicky.
He’s my home , Joe thought, kissing Nicky again.