Chapter Text
“Elsa?”
She looked up from the book that lay on her crossed legs. They hadn’t been surprised to find her awake, in the library, indulging in some light reading before breakfast.
Her eyes moved back and forth between the two of them, eyebrow raised.
“Do I want to know the story behind where you’ve been?”
Kristoff blushed, plucking a piece of hay from Anna’s slightly disheveled hair, but Anna continued undeterred.
“I just got a little...I don’t know...freaked out? And I was wondering if we could talk.”
“Of course.” Elsa closed the book on her lap and gestured to a comfortable sofa nearby.
Generally, Kristoff would leave them alone for these kinds of conversations; but Anna’s hand remained firmly interlocked in his own, so he followed her over and sat down.
The silence was uncharacteristic for Anna, but they waited as she steeled herself and took a breath.
“The past few years since we reconnected and we met,” (here she gestured to Kristoff), “have been the best years of my life so far. No comparison. At all.”
The other two nodded in agreement.
“But like we’ve talked about, all of those years of being alone and living separate lives...they don’t just go away. So even though I probably shouldn’t, I still question things. If this is even real. If it’s going to last. If you both feel the same way that I do. And Elsa, I’m so happy to see how happy you are after moving to Northuldra...but it just makes me question whether you were happy when you were here. I was. I thought we both were. And then you left, and I know you didn’t really leave, not for good, but...I guess you weren’t as happy as you seemed.”
“Oh, Anna…” Elsa crossed the room, sat on Anna’s other side, and wrapped her arms around her sister, bringing the younger woman’s head onto her shoulder. Anna continued, her voice muffled but still audible.
“If you felt like this was too much for you, how in the world am I going to do it? And at least you and I were raised for life in the castle, but Kristoff, you were free before! And now you’re not! And what if it’s all just too much?”
Elsa’s eyes met Kristoff’s, and he was somehow relieved to see some of the same fear and uncertainty that he felt, in spite of Elsa’s calm words toward her sister: “First of all, Anna, I don’t ever want you to think that I left because I wasn’t happy here. Actually, that was why I didn’t tell you at first about the voice. I wanted to ignore it, make it go away, so that I wouldn’t risk ruining everything we have here. It made me realize that, now, I actually have something to lose!”
Anna sniffed. Elsa continued.
“I’m still learning exactly how the spirits and Ahtohallan actually work, and what they know and want and plan, but...the timing wasn’t accidental. The reason we had to risk everything was because it was good , not because it was bad. We weren’t strong enough before. Ahtohallan knows that I would never be strong enough without you .
“It wasn’t possible to repair the past until we repaired what was happening with us, right now. We had to recover from...everything, and I had to learn how to live with myself, and you had to be of age to rule the kingdom.
“There was nothing wrong with how things were before. It was a step toward our lives now, but a good one, and an important one.”
They sat in silence for a moment longer. Elsa seemed more confident now, which reassured Kristoff. Then she sighed.
“Anna, I’m so sorry that we haven’t had this conversation before. I’m so sorry that I ever let you believe that I didn’t want to be around you. I was just scared. Fear is….we keep thinking we have it under control, and then it just keeps sneaking up on us again.”
Now Anna laughed darkly, wiping her eyes and lifting up her head. "Yeah. You've got that right."
She turned toward Kristoff and took his hand. "Speaking of what Ahtohallan knows...Kristoff is thinking of going there for some answers."
"Really?" Elsa met his sheepish gaze with a smile. "I think that would be great."
"I was thinking we could try to find a time when all of us could go. I know that might be difficult with Anna's busy schedule and the wedding plans and everything, but it's important to me to have her there," Kristoff explained.
"Of course," Elsa agreed.
"And he wants to reassure me that he won't find some kind of secret destiny and leave me for it," Anna added, trying and failing to lighten her tone.
Kristoff sighed, pulling Anna against his chest and hugging her close.
“That’s not really how it works,” Elsa explained. “Anna, I will never forget how happy the two of you looked on the day you got engaged. If that wasn’t meant to be, then I don’t know what is! Your marriage will be a beautiful example to the kingdom. Just like Mother and Father were.”
“Right!” Kristoff remembered. “Anna, your mother left the forest to live in the castle, and she was just fine. Not saying I’ll ever become that sophisticated, but it’s not like it’s impossible to make that transition.”
“And you’re doing just fine, Kristoff,” Elsa reassured.
“And I’ll never stop trying to support you in any way I can, Anna,” he added.
Anna straightened up, looking back and forth between the two of them.
“Thank you. Both of you. I’m sorry that I sometimes question...everything. Thanks for being there for me.”
“Always,” Elsa smiled, pulling her sister into a hug and gesturing for Kristoff to join.
It was strange how natural this was after years of having no human family and no close friends other than Sven.
Their thoughts were interrupted, however, by the distinct sound of Anna’s stomach. They laughed.
“Breakfast?” Elsa offered, and the three of them got up and walked toward the kitchens.
Once they were seated and the conversation had become more comfortable and less intense, Elsa returned to the topic of Ahtohallan.
“Kristoff, what made you decide that you wanted answers? Is there anything in particular that you’re looking for?”
Kristoff could tell that Elsa was trying to maintain her composure in spite of her enthusiasm toward the source of her magic, and that Anna was doing the same in spite of her continued misgivings.
“Well...actually, it was Mari’s request to find her mother that prompted it. I never knew my mother, and I never knew what happened to my father, and I just thought...it might be nice to know.”
Both Elsa and Anna smiled sadly at him. In spite of the fact that they, too, were orphans, they at least had memories of their parents.
“Oh! About that. I think I know someone who might help with tracking down Mari’s--”
At that moment, the windows rattled and blew open. Elsa started, then laughed as the wind spirit drifted in and circled the three of them.
“I guess I was right. Shall we send a note?”
“Something like ‘your daughter is at the castle. Come and see her’?” Kristoff asked.
“Something like that, but maybe less threatening,” Elsa suggested, quickly locating a sheet of paper and a pen even in the dining room.
She pondered the scrap of paper, wrote a bit, and asked for Anna’s approval on the wording of the question. Kristoff found the process exhausting, the way Elsa fretted over sounding too formal, too condescending, or too familiar. When he read, it was to receive information, not analyze the layers of possible intentions beneath every word.
Finally, she had Anna and Kristoff sign off on the finished note.
As you may know, your daughter has been staying at Arendelle castle since late last autumn. She requested that we reach out to you and invite you to visit her. You are welcome in the castle, or we can set up a meeting in another location at your earliest convenience.
With warmest regards,
Anna, Kristoff, and Elsa
Gale floated off with the letter, and Kristoff closed the window to shield them from the winter air.
“Great! Now we can tell Mari that we made progress!” Anna exclaimed.
Kristoff and Elsa exchanged a look.
“Maybe we should wait for a response,” Kristoff suggested. “I know how you feel about secrets, but this would just be to...avoid the potential for disappointment.”
Anna’s shoulders sagged. “I know you’re right, but what parent would ignore their own child?”
The question hung heavy in the air.
Kristoff answered any of Mari’s future questions about seeing her mother with “We’re working on it. I promise,” and tried to keep her spirits up. Eventually, she stopped asking. It was equal parts relief and heartbreak.
Still, it wasn’t all bad. Mari had made a friend, a girl named Linnea, whose mother always seemed frazzled and skeptical. Finally, Mari--with Kristoff’s permission--convinced her to allow the girl to spend an evening at the castle after school.
Most students had visited, but only on special occasions; Linnea was awed to see Mari’s bedroom and follow Olaf to the secret kitchen entrance. Mari, on the other hand, seemed annoyed by her friend’s focus on where she lived.
“Sometimes I just want to be a normal kid with a normal house. You know?” she asked Kristoff.
Kristoff nodded. “I do, actually.”
Once the two girls and Olaf began to play hide and seek around the castle and run around the gardens, Mari’s mood improved. Kristoff brought them a picnic lunch, and they shared ridiculous rumors about what was happening in town. Most of it was ridiculous, picked up in snippets and exaggerated by the children, but it wasn’t honestly that different from the way the parents gossiped after school.
Sometimes, they stopped talking as he approached.
After Linnea’s visit, Mari began to spend more time with children from Arendelle, inviting them to the castle or visiting their homes. Kristoff never got past the discomfort of interacting with mothers and fathers who eyed him warily around town, especially with Mari’s added discomfort of knowing that she was different.
It was early March when Mari suddenly gasped as they began to walk back to the castle from the school.
“Mama!”
Kristoff froze, unsure how to proceed as Mari ran into the arms of a weary-looking woman with tears in her eyes.
“My baby! How I’ve missed you!”
Kristoff stood off to the side, trying not to intrude as the two reconnected.
Eventually, Mari pointed at him, and the two walked over.
“My daughter tells me about what you’ve done for her. I am very grateful. I hope you’ll allow me to spend some time with her while I’m in town.”
“Of course,” Kristoff responded stiffly.
“I’ll have her back to the castle by dark,” she offered.
“Yeah. Great. Sure.”
As the two of them walked off, Kristoff remained on the cobblestone path in front of the school as if rooted to the ground. He nearly jumped when he heard a voice off to his side.
“Lord Kristoff.”
He turned to see one of the palace guards.
“We will monitor their whereabouts and keep an eye on the child.”
Kristoff blinked. “I hope that won’t be necessary. But...thank you? Maybe you could give them some coin for a meal?” he offered, presenting the guard with a couple of shiny pieces, some with his future wife’s profile and others with Elsa’s.
“Of course, sir.” The guard bowed stiffly and walked off through the town.
Kristoff retrieved Sven for a ride, and then found himself wandering the town with his reindeer companion. Finally, he settled on bringing Anna a few chocolates, and departed for the castle.
When Anna rushed in for dinner after a meeting that had run late, she chattered happily before pausing. “Where’s Mari tonight? And what’s with your weird face? Not that your face is weird, it’s more like your mood…”
“Mari’s mother came to the school today and brought her into town.”
“Oh wow! That’s...good!” Anna smiled hesitantly.
“Yeah. I just don’t know...how long she’s staying? If she’s bringing Mari back with her? I just don’t know.”
“Well, I’ll talk to her! It will be good. I bet she can find a job in town and get her life back on track! Let me think, who’s hiring…?”
While Anna went through a mental list of odd jobs she might recommend for Mari’s mother, Kristoff’s stomach still churned.
It was good that Mari had family around. He just didn’t want her to be disappointed.
Or was it him who might be disappointed if she suddenly didn’t need him anymore?
He sighed. Sometimes it was difficult to know.