Chapter Text
"It's true, I shouldn't have thought that everything will go smoothly." Tsukishima cried to himself, watching as Kenma and Kuroo suffered on the floor.
They were so close to achieving it, they were so close of letting Thanatos out when suddenly a Hydra came out of the lake. Tsukishima was so shocked that he could only stood there, he tried fighting but he was slapped by its tail. When he sat up, the next thing he knew, Kenma was lying on the ground with his eyes closed and Kuroo was closed to the river where the hydra came from. The Hydra was gone, they defeated it but Tsukishima didn't know how.
"Kuroo! Kenma!" He ran to the raven haired boy and helped him, almost carrying him so that him and Kenma were beside each other. They were both severely damaged by the hydra.
"Why would a fucking hydra be here.." Kuroo muttered, suffering to speak beacause of his injuries. Tsukishima hissed and told him to shut up, "Can't you see you're injured! Where's the ambrosia?" Kenma breathed heavily and then pointed at his bag, Tsukishima took it and opened it.
He looked at it, his hands trembling as he found out that it was just enough for one person. They already used most of it when they were also attacked by some monsters. Tsukishima almost stopped breathing, "I-It's only enough for one person," With shaking hands he approached the two. Silenced filled the three.
"Give it to Kenma, he needs it much more than I do," Kuroo was already having a hard time talking and Tsukishima could see his breathing becoming unsteady.
"No.." Kenma weakly said, Tsukishima almost gave it to Kenma when suddenly the man tied in the cage spoke.
"They are both going to die, now you gotta choose who you will choose but if I were you I would do it now before the hydra comes back." That made Tsukishima panick, he looked at the two who's both losing conciousness now, Kuroo already did but Tsukishima can see that he is still breathing but it was almost unnoticeable. He sighed and shook his head he reached for Kenma and was about to make him take the ambrosia when Kenma turned his head away from his head.
"K-kenma,"
Kenma smiled,"Kuroo needs it, he deserves it more than I do." He took a sharp breath and forced himself to talk."Tell Hinata I love him, please...." With that the boy closed his eyes. Tsukishima cried and rushed to make Kuroo take the ambrosia. His hands trembled as he watch Kuroo's breath becoming steady and Kenma's slowly losing.
He looked up at the sky, crying as he held Kenma's hands, he brought it up to his face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he chanted as if he did, Kenma would wake up. He suddenly remppembered Thanatos and released him, he was met by probably the most beautiful man he ever saw, more than Akaashi.
The angel of death thanked him, saying that now that he is released everythig would go back to normal, especially the process of death. He apologized about what happened to Kenma and promised to capture the one who kidnapped him and locked him up. Before leaving he looked back at Tsukishima and told him, "This was fated, No one will be able to avoid it if the fates decided it. Tell that to your friend," He looked pointedly at Kuroo and then finally flew away.
He was left with deafening silence and all Tsukishima could do was cry.
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What followed became hazy in his memories. But Tsukishima can't say that he forgot, he never did and will never do.
For almost three days, he took care of Kuroo in a nearby motel near them. He also said goodbye to Kenma and gave him a proper send off, one that is deserving to a son of Apollo. After he did that, he felt so so useless and that maybe if he was more experienced just like the two older boys, Kenma wouldn't have died. Kenma would still be here, helping them to live by healing them while looking like he was so tired of living himself. He held into the blanket that Hinata gave Kenma and he also got the necklace that the latter gave him before he died, it was for Hinata too though Kenma didn't have the strength to tell him, Tsukishima just knew that it was for the orange haired boy.
When Kuroo woke up and seemed to be in good shape, he immediately told Tsukishima that they are going back to the camp.The older seemed distant to him, the blonde boy knew that Kuroo probably felt Kenma's death and that's the reason why he's like that. Kuroo called for his hellhound and they departed.
Tsukishima was scared as they walked into the camp's border. As they neared, some campers saw them and started cheering and they all gathered around the two congratulating them, Nekomata did too. However they all went silent when someone from the Apollo cabin asked where's Kenma.
Kuroo looked at the ground and sighed, he avoided eye contact and that's when they all realized what happened. Tsukishima felt tears swelling up in his eyes but he stopped himself from crying.
"Kenma....my brother did well, didn't he?" One of the older kids asked and Kuroo nodded and muttered, "He was the best, he's a hero. I...owe my life to Kenma," Kuroo choked up and that's when a kid named Lev started crying, others soon followed. And all Kuroo and Tsukishima could do was lower their heads.
"Tsukki!!" the blonde boy looked up to see Bokuto, "Hinata! Hurry up they're back!"
Tsukishima's eyes widen as he saw a orange hair come through the circle. Bokuto and Akaashi were behind him. "Kenma!" Hinata stopped in his tracks when he noticed that there were only two there and some kids from the Apollo cabin were crying. "Kenma?Where's Kenma?" He tilted his head and then looked around for a familiar back long hair. Kuroo could only look away, he felt his heart tightening while looking at Hinata's innocent face.
Soon Akaashi realized what was going on, he nudged Bokuto and he was prepared to use his charmspeak on Hinata so the younger boy would stop asking about Kenma when Tsukishima suddenly stood up, he was holding a blanket.
"K-kenma, used this well. He truly treasured it." Tsukishima sniffed and then fished for something in his pocket, "And he wanted you to have this."
That's when it all clicked to Hinata, he stared at the necklace before his tears finally poured down, it was Kenma's favorite necklace, the one he always have to not feel nervous or just to feel lucky. Bokuto panicked as he tried to comfort Hinata but Akaashi told him to wait.
Tsukishima took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Hinata." He still tried to stop himself from crying when Hinata's legs gave out and the boy cried on the ground. Akaashi stepped in and hugged Tsukshima who then leaned his head on his shoulder and cried.
That night, Tsukishima couldn't fall asleep and he wanted to sneak out, so he did. His eyes were puffy from crying. He went to the cliff to see the ocean to calm himself and there he saw a raven haired boy quietly sitting by the edge of the cliff.
"Kuroo.." He softly called out but the other boy did not respond nor looked at him. "Kuroo, It was my fault not yours so I want to say-"
Kuroo stopped him from talking when he called his first name. "You know Kei," Tsukishima looked at the other's back, confused "When did he started calling me Kei?"
"I would always hear people talking abut Hades' demigod children and how they were unwanted," Kuroo sighed, "And they would always say that Hades' demigods are to live in misery, " He smiled bitterly as he looks into the night sky, "And I think they might be right."
Tsukishima didn't know what he meant, he just concluded that Kuroo was depressed about Kenma's death and caused him to act like that. He wanted to disappear, it was all his fault. Kenma could have been saved, maybe he was wiser and thought of a better choice or maybe if he was a lot more skilled than he is right now, he could have done something else but Tsukishima didn't.
But... even if he blames himself, no matter how many times he curse at himself, Tsukishima somehow feels that Kuroo doesn't blame him. As if without saying it, Kuroo was blaming himself and the blonde boy wanted to hug Kuroo's lonely back, however something stopped him from doing so. If he knew that Kuroo would disappear the very next day, he would have hugged the older boy.
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Just like that Kuroo banished for a whole new year. The other campers got confused, especially the younger ones but the older ones somehow understood, they just knew that Kuroo ran away, probably because staying in camp would only remind him of Kenma.
When Tsukishima talked about Kuroo's disappearance to Nekomata, the elder only told him to not worry and that Kuroo would eventually come back. The blonde boy wanted to scream at that time, he wanted to look for Kuroo but somehow Tsukishima knew that the older boy wouldn't like that and so he just drowned himself into training.
It was hard at first. Tsukishima was ashamed that he was the reason why Kenma died but no one blamed him. It was as if they just pitied him and he didn't want that, he wanted them to point fingers at him, to tell him how mess up he was and how he's so weak. He wanted Hinata to scream at him, to resent him instead of just crying. But Tsukishima stopped thinking like that when Hinata talked to him in private three months after the incident.
The orange haired boy brought him to a cave that he didn't knew were there, there were traces of Hinata and Kenma. The shorter sat in a stone where there were some kind of blanket. "Kenma and I call this 'our' place," Hinata smiled sadly, Tsukishima looked away from him. "Tsukishima do you regret making your decision?"
He choked up as he cast his eyes on the ground, "What do you think?" he muttered.
"Then please don't," Hinata smiled at him, the bright one that Tsukishima could feel himself getting blinded by. " Kenma is smart, he always have been and maybe he knew that it was his fate. I'm sure he and Kuroo bickered about that," Tsukishima looked up at that, now he remembered Kenma and Kuroo fighting over something that they refuse to tell him during their quest.
Hinata chuckled, "What I want to say is , I want you to move on Tsukishima. Stop wanting yourself to be hated because no one will do that, If you really want to make it up to Kenma then please hone your skills more. Kenma would always get frustrated watching you believe that you can't do better when you're a lot more than that," For tha last time, Hinata smiled at him, the boy stood up and patted Tsukishima's head despite their height difference. "It's none of your fault so please don't let yourself believe that, let's go back."
Tsukishima stood there even if Hinata already left, he felt all of his worries going away and his body finally relaxing after months of being so anxious, maybe that's what he wanted to hear that 'it was not his fault'. That one sentence made Tsukishima feel better and he started changing, for the better so that in the future he will not make the same mistakes.
By the following year, Tsukishima is finally skilled at fighting that he would always be lined up with Bokuto and the others. And that year too, Kuroo came back but all of the campers saw how much he had changed. He emitted this dark aura and suddenly looked like a son of Hades. Kuroo wore all black, his face matured too by a short amount of time and the glow in his eyes disappeared.
He frowned whenever someone would talk to him and that made the other campers maintain their distance from him. The younger campers were scared of him and would scatter whenever they see Kuroo. On the other hand, Tsukishima was frustrated by how Kuroo was avoiding him even Bokuto was upset, thankfully Akaashi was there to console him.
Kuroo only stayed for a week and then he banished again. "Wtf is wrong with him?!" Tsukishima screamed at the empty Hades cabin. Akaashi shook his head while Bokuto pouted. "Does he not like us now?" Bokuto turned at Akaashi who stroked his cheeks.
"Kuroo is still having a hard time. It will get better and eventually everything will come back to normal." Akaashi assured at the two, they just both nodded and came back to training.
Akaashi said it will get better and Tsukishima believed him, as he hope for the day that Kuroo would stop disappearing from camp and go back to his normal self four years had already passed. Four years passed waiting for Kuroo and during those four years there were a lot of changes in camp.
Some older campers already moved to the city, it was on the other side of the camp but somehow Tsukishima felt that they were all moving to another country, after all demigods were not allowed to visit there, well some them can if they go to school there which some of them aren't. The city was somewhere that demigods could live like a normal mortal.
Tsukishima bid farewell to Akaashi and Bokuto when they moved to the city last year. Bokuto was so excited at that time as he ramble to Tsukishima that he and Akaashi will finally be able to live together, the younger just nodded at that time getting tired of hearing Bokuto always declaring his love for Akaashi.
Now, the two are visiting the camp. Tsukishima could see the changes in the, they both look mature and at the same time happy.
"Hinata!" Bokuto hugged his brother and kissed his cheeks, Akaashi could only face palmed. Tsukishima laughed watching Hinata struggle. "I really missed you!"
"Argh, I can't breath" Hinata struggled free from Bokuto. He pouted and looked at Bokuto, "Why did you two even visit?"
Akaashi looked at Hinata and smiled, bitterly, "Well it is his five years anniversary after all,"
They just kept quiet and then Bokuto sighed, "Five years and Tetsuro still.."He didn't have to finish his sentence for the other three to understand.
Meanwhile the said boy is sitting beside a long haired boy who is currently frowning, "Do you wish to die, Tetsuro?" Kuroo looked at Kenma, "Stop visiting me,"
"I just want to see you," Kuroo sadly said as he trained his eyes at the ground.
"Stop making me an excuse so you can run away from reality," Kenma sighed. "Yachi-"
Kuroo suddenly looked mad, "I told not to talk about her!" Kenma's frown deepened.
"Then when we will talk about her?!" The raven haired boy's eyes widen as Kenma shouted at him, it's the first time that Kenma raised his voice at him, yes he always sound annoyed at him but he never raised his voice. "Yachi was young when that happened, It was not your fault that she was captured by cyclops! It was never your fault." Kenma took a deep breath, "I know you had been looking for her, there's a reason why you can't find her Kuroo. You have to move on from the past,"
The older boy shook his head, "No, no" He whispered, tears swelling up in his eyes. "I will not leave you Kenma, I won't. Yachi..."
"How will you move to your future if you won't let us go?" Kenma looked in front as Kuroo continued crying,"It's not your fault you were born as a demigod, Kuroo. It wasn't your fault that Yachi died, or why your mom went crazy, It will never be your fault Kuroo. We were just unfortunate that the fates played us," Kenma looked at Kuroo while sighing as he watch the older cry. "Hey..." he mumbled. "Someone's waiting for you, you know?"
Kuroo's eyes widen as a blonde haired boy smiling popped up in his mind, "Why...."
Kenma smiled at him, "Please move forward to the future with him, something that I will never be able to do with Hinata."
And the older just nodded.
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When Kuroo was just a child, he grew up watching his mom lose her sanity while always calling out for someone, "Hades...Hades.." He would always hear that, as he grew older he just understood that it was the name of his father. At 7, a woman showed up in his house telling him that she will help them. The next thing that Kuroo knew was he's in his house with his mom lying dead on the ground and blood of a monster were all over the floor, he later realized that he was the one that killed the monster but it was too late as his mom was already dead.
Everyone got scared of him and refused to help him. In the midst of all of this, a weird man showed up to his house to see him, the man was telling him to do something he refused to but he got scared and obeyed the man. "Go to Camp Hestia. It will be a rough journey but you will be able to make it, after all you are my demigod child." The man banished and Kuroo was again left alone.
But now he held hope as he look at the picture of 'Camp Hestia'. In his journey he met another kid named Kenma and a girl named Yachi, they said they were with a satyr but he suddenly disappeared as they neared the camp. They tried looking for the satyr which was a bad idea.
They found out that he was captured by some cyclops. At that time, Kuroo found out about his ability to travel through shadows, but it did got him super tired. He remembered Yachi getting amazed at him, looking at the two he felt assured that he is not alone now. They got close to each other in a short amount of time, as they found out that they are almost the same age. Now it might be weird as they were still kids but they were not just any mortal kids, and they soon found themselves in the woods of Camp Hestia, they were so close to their destination,
But somehow the cyclops got to follow them. Maybe from their scent or something else but the cyclops were mad at them. Kuroo, Yachi and Kenma all run in fear, someone finally saw them from the camp and let them enter the borders as he noticed the cyclops following the kids.
As they got inside Kuroo noticed something, "Yachi, where's Yachi?" Kenma was crying with sweats all over his face. "W-we have to go back, Yachi is there."Kuroo pleaded to Nekomata.
"Kid, It's too late. We're too late."
Kuroo learned the hard way of how miserable demigods lives are. It's either they get neglected by their godly parent, grow up alone, have a toxic mortal family or worst die at a young age. It was hard for him to accept that this is the life that he has to live now but he has to adapt and so he did.
He changed his attitude, he wanted to be approachable and to be liked by everyone which he achieved. But he knew well that no matter how much he pretends, he is still the son of the god of death and he hated that fact. Kuroo then started to think that maybe this was his fate as the son of Hades, maybe his mom went crazy because of him and that his unlucky fate brought Yachi her death. Realizing he understood how he had to keep away from other people, at a young age he learned to keep a distance from other people except from Kenma who he promised himself to protect.
Until the day he met Tsukishima. He doesn't know what he even liked about the younger boy, maybe the way he always stared at Kuroo and Kuroo's ability or maybe when he saw the younger smile for the very first time. He doesn't know, it's just that he felt that Tsukishima was different. The younger didn't really care whether he is the son of Hades or whatever he is because Tsukishima just disliked all the campers equally.
As they spend the night together staring at the beautiful night sky with a comfortable silence, Kuroo just had the thought that what if he can move on from the past with Tsukishima. That maybe Tsukishima was the one he can move forward with. He started having hopes and dreams including Tsukishima, for a while he forgot that he's a demigod and that he will be able to build a normal life with the blonde boy.
Until that tragedy happened. During their quest, Kenma would talk as if he will drop dead the very next morning and Kuroo hated that. He hated how Kenma can just calmly accept his fate, though no matter how much Kenma persuaded him that it was okay Kuroo believed that he can go against the fates. That they were just grannies who played with other people's lives and Kuroo can prevent what they said about Kenma's life.
But of course, that was not possible. The fates were much stronger creature than Kuroo will ever be and whatever they say will happen , will really happen. And Kuroo had nothing to do at all, he just hated the fact that he got some stupid ability to sense someone dying because he certainly didn't want to sense his bestriend slowly dying.
He got scared after that. If he can't protect Kenma then how can he protect the others? so he ran away like a coward that he is. He ran to his father's place where he's not really welcomed but eventually his stepmother got used to Kuroo's presence. And Kuroo visited Kenma, his mom too. He looked for Yachi but he can't find her at all.
Kuroo perfectly knew that that was not the answer to his problems and he have to eventually face everyone and so he came back. But he just can't bear to look at Tsukishima, his desire to stay beside the younger boy grew and again he ran away.
But now he's planning to go back again, as what Kenma said he should.
At present, in the camp, Tsuksihima found himself unable to fall asleep. No matter how much he turn and toss in his bed. he just can't seem to fall asleep. Which always happen every year, the exact time when his first quest happened. and it's also Kenma's anniversary so Tsukishima really found it hard to sleep.
Later on he just gave up on sleeping and thought of sneaking away like how he usually do when the memories from their quest come flooding back to him at nights.
He quietly opened the door as he looks around their cabin. He sighed and stepped outside and as he look up he was surprised to see Kuroo standing there. The older boy yanked his wrist and suddenly Tsukishima found himself up in the Hades' cabin.
Tsukisjima cursed as he looked down."What the.." they were not really up from the ground but it was still high for him and there were no ways of going down. "What's your problem?" The blonde boy snapped at Kuroo, "You disappear whenever you want and then suddenly you show up in here? And right in front of my cabin?!"
The raven haired boy looked at him without any expression, "Hey are you mad at me?"
With that the blonde boy frowned, "I am" Kuroo sighed and looked down.
"I...I'm sorry then." He took a deep vreath, Tsukishima eyebrows furrowed. "You know this past five years have been hard for me. I just... the camp reminds-"
"How about me then?"The younger snapped. He knew he shouldn't be because he's perfectly aware of what Kuroo went through (Bokuto told him) but Tsukishima just felt his blood rush. "You think these past five years have been easy for me? Kuroo, I had to spend my every day seeing and watching people close from Kenma suffer and I was the one who made that decision! I felt ashamed of myself, I wanted to run too but you gave me no choice." Tsukishima pointed at Kuroo who has his eyes wide "I was ready to be there for you but you were not,"
Tsukshima breathed heavily meanwhile Kuroo's eyes were swelling up with tears, he sighed and then gazed at the younger. "I like you... I had since the very first time I laid my eyes on you..." Kuroo blurted, the blonde boy's eyes widened as he watch Kurooo finally breaking and showing his tears.
"I was ready to be with you.....You helped me have hopes and dreams again but...." Kuroo wiped his tears and casted his eyes on the ground. "But I failed to protect Kenma like I failed to do to Yachi and my mom,"he muttered. "And if I failed protecting my family, then how am I supposed to protect Akaashi, Bokuto and the others? How am I supposed to protect you?" He looked straight at Tsukishima's eyes who's frown deepened.
The younger sighed and wiped his tears, he sniffed and took Kuroo's hand. "You're stupid!" Kuroo stared at their hands. "I'm not the same weak kid you met before! And! Bokuto is much stronger than you, I bet Akaashi can even beat you in a duel so why do you assume that we need your protection?" Kuroo wiped his tears and stared at Tsukishima who is smiling lightly, "I like you too but I don't need your protection. I don't care if everyone says that staying with you means I have to live in misery, I don't believe them because only being with you can make me the happiest demigod ever," Kuroo's lips whimpered and he pulled Tsukishima into a tight hug.
"Im sorry, Im sorry," Kuroo chanted against Tsukishima who only snuggled on him. They both pulled apart and stared at each other. Slowly their faces got closer when they were just about to kiss,
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING THERE?! ITS PAST CURFEW COME DOWN THERE!" They flinched as they heard one of the satyrs on patrol scream.
Tsukishima's eyes widened and he looked at Kuroo who muttered, "Fuck this curfew" He pulled Tsukishima as he shadow traveled again and he laughed. Kuroo laughed.
The first in five years and Tsukishima was relieved. He was pretty sure they'll get nag by Nekomata the next morning and they'll receive a lot of punishmemt but Tsukishima didn't care as he watch the smile on Kuroo's face. He can only sigh as he held into the older, whispering 'I love you' and thinking, "Everything will be fine when I'm with you"