Chapter Text
Without Chan, the sky has turned a permanent shade of grey.
When Felix glances up at the pale clouds, the chilly breeze ruffling his hair, he wishes only that Chan would come back. He remembers all that's passed between them, the pain and the tenderness that brought with them the smell of the sea and Chan's lips against his own, and misses him. Even with the distrust and betrayal still hot inside of him, he still longs to see him again.
Felix tries to shake off the feeling, practising his smile, but he can't quite let go of the memory of Chan in his doorway, tear stained and honest. Like today, when he walks to a lecture, his books clutched tightly to his chest. There's nothing else he can think about.
Which is probably why he walks straight into someone.
Warm arms hold him steady, and for a moment Felix fools himself into thinking it's Chan. He convinces himself that when he looks up from the solid chest, Chan will be looking down at him, and that it'll be just like the first time they met.
Back from his mission at their old kingdom, Chan would say, I did it, with those sparkling eyes, and they would be happy.
That isn't what happens though.
Felix looks up, and Hyunjin, from the cafe, is smiling at him sheepishly. Unlike the other times Felix has seen him, he isn't wearing his work uniform.
"Felix?" Hyunjin says sweetly, rubbing his arms, and Felix smiles back at him. There's a shy kindness to Hyunjin's eyes and smile that make Felix feel comfortable. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
"Good." Hyunjin rubs his arms one last time before stepping away from him.
The silence is awkward, but not unbearable enough that Felix feels uncomfortable. He watches Hyunjin run a hand through his hair and wonders, suddenly, how long he's known Chan. How much time they've spent together, how much happiness they've shared.
"Hey, you haven't heard from Chan, have you?" Hyunjin asks, as if reading Felix's mind.
His name rattles around Felix's mind.
"He's taking a break for a few weeks," Felix says, the half lie sticking to his tongue, "Family stuff, you know how it is."
Hyunjin nods, but he doesn't seem convinced. There's a worried furrow in his brow.
"I wish he'd just told me." Hyunjin says, "Oh, well, as long as he's safe."
Felix knows it isn't safe, not at all. Chan's plan had been risky at best, fatal at worst, and Felix could do nothing to stop him. Going back to the kingdom to free his parents and report Felix's "death" to the monarchs was far from a fool proof plan, but Felix couldn't argue with Chan when his face was so determined, and his words were so final.
He was helpless.
"I'm sure he'll be fine."
"Yeah, I hope so." Hyunjin tilts his head and considers Felix for a moment. "I wanted to talk to you, actually. Are you busy right now?"
"I have a lecture-" Felix pauses. He could always catch up with it online either (well, if he ever worked out how to use human technology), and Felix is curious about what Hyunjin has to say. "Actually, no, I'm free."
"I'm heading to work right now, so walk with me." Hyunjin says.
The coffee shop is as far from the centre of campus as Felix remembers, but Hyunjin doesn't say anything until they're inside of the shop, overwhelmed by the husky scent of coffee and the chatter of students inside. He leads Felix to the back room.
"I wanted to say," Hyunjin says, while pulling on his apron. "Thank you."
Hyunjin's voice is soft and sincere in the quiet back room, which is probably why he waited for them to arrive at the coffee shop before speaking. He ties the back of his apron, his fingers moving skillfully as if he's done it a million times before.
"What for?" Felix asks.
Now that he's done with the knot, Hyunjin tucks his long dark hair behind his ears and tucks it under the coffee shop hat. He looks away from Felix shyly.
"Thank you for looking after Channie hyung."
Felix blinks.
"Just... before he met you, he was different." Hyunjin pauses a moment, as if considering something. "Don't get me wrong, back then he acted happy. He came to the coffee shop all the time, and he performed on stage too. But the more I got to know him, the more I noticed how troubled he was."
He looks at Felix again, his gaze thoughtful as he plays with his fingers.
"I tried to talk to him, but you probably know already that he's very good at deflecting." Hyunjin smiles weakly, and Felix knows, now, how much Chan means to him. "But when you came..."
Hyunjin shrugs.
"I saw light in his eyes for the first time," He says, "I don't know what you did, but he seems so much better now. As if you lifted a burden from his shoulders. So, thank you."
Hyunjin's word, however flowery, make Felix smile. He can't help but wonder how alone Chan used to be, pretending to be someone else for the sake of his work, unable to free himself from his own guilt and tragic past. Hyunjin doesn't know Chan's true identity, but he still knows Chan's kindness, his talent, his warmth. That's enough.
"It isn't just me." Felix says quietly. "Hyung helped me, too."
It's true enough. Without Chan, it would've been so much harder for Felix to settle into the human realm. He can smile comfortably at Hyunjin. He feels like his skin fits. Part of that he owes to Chan.
"You know, the first time I met him," Hyunjin says, fondness sparking in his eyes, "He didn't even know how to order a coffee. Now look at him."
Felix giggles.
"You won't break his heart, right, Felix?"
There's no hesitation when Felix speaks.
"I couldn't." He admits, "It would kill me."
"Yeah." Hyunjin ruffles his hair. "I thought you might say that."
*
The living room in Felix, Changbin and Jisung's shared student flat is cozy.
The three of them are squeezed on the sofa together, arms and legs pressed together. Jisung's yells fill the air as they play Mario Kart and press the remote buttons furiously, the screen flashing at them. Felix has almost forgotten his worry and fear. Squashed between his two housemates, he's at home.
Considering he's never played this sort of game before, Felix thinks he's doing pretty well.
"This isn't fair." Changbin says loudly, when Felix and Jisung race ahead of him once again. There's an embarassed flush in his cheeks and Felix imagines if he told Changbin the truth, that he'd never actually played a video game before, it would get even deeper.
"That's life." Jisung says, his tongue between his teeth. Felix's knees are tucked up to his chin, and he expertly dodges the green shell Changbin sent after him.
"Tough luck." Felix smiles, while Changbin curses.
"I don't want to play anymore."
"Sure you don't, hyung." Jisung laughs.
Playing with them is fun, Felix thinks. His evenings are relaxing now. He spends nights out at clubs, bars or gigs. Sometimes he stays in and plays games and watches TV. Every moment is a treasure he still isn't used to. Slowly he's learned to take time for himself to relax. His baking is getting better, his dancing is becoming skilled, and everything about the human world makes him happy.
It's the sort of happiness that sticks. It doesn't feel fleeting anymore. He only wishes Chan would return soon, and perhaps they could share the joy.
Jisung takes advantage of Felix's distracted thoughts.
"Watch out!" He overtakes Felix, 1st shining above Jisung's name on the screen. "Ha!"
Felix focuses. He laughs with Jisung when Changbin drives off the edge of the world again, and throws his arms in the air when he pushes past Jisung and crosses the finish line just before Jisung.
There's still a part of him that wonders where Chan is right now, but he drowns it in the evening and the unfamiliar, bitter taste of beer. Even just the image of Chan injured, or, God forbid, dead, hurts him to the point of tears. He pushes it back, and back, smothering the feeling under his friend's voices.
"Another round?" Jisung asks happily.
Changbin scowls.
"No."
"Please?" Jisung asks, and Changbin rolls his eyes but he's already settling in for another game, a smile bright in his cheeks. Felix narrows his eyes.
"Get ready." He says, "I won't go so easy on you this time."
"You're bluffing." Jisung grins.
"I'm not."
Changbin throws an arm over his shoulder and pulls him closer. He ruffles Felix's hair.
"Go easy on me, would you?"
"Not a chance." Felix giggles, and leans into Changbin's arms.
Jisung is about to retort when the door clicks open. The three of them are shocked into silence.
Chan stands in the doorway. His chest rises and falls heavily, his short, ragged breaths filling the room, but that isn't the first thing Felix notices.
It's the blood, soaked into his clothes and stained across his face. When he steps forward, one of his legs is limp and he has to drag it. There's a deep wound across one side of his neck that looks painful, and he stumbles, gripping the door for support.
Felix jumps to his feet. He's completely calm, when he steps towards Chan. His fear is undermined by the urgent need to take care of him.
"What the fuck," Jisung jumps up too, his voice high pitched, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Chan says weakly. He's pale except for the blood staining his face and neck. When Felix wraps an arm around Chan to hold him up, Chan cries out. Felix winces and tries to support him better.
"What happened?" Changbin reaches into his pocket for his phone, "Should I call an ambulance?"
Chan shakes his head quickly.
"Please don't." He murmurs.
"But-"
"It's okay." Felix nods at Changbin. "I can handle it."
There are bandages upstairs in his room, as well as sewing needles he could use to attempt to stitch Chan's wounds, the same way he'd stitched his own. Felix slowly takes Chan out of the living room and towards the staircase. Chan's weight is heavy, and Felix's hands are becoming damp with Chan's blood, but Felix hardly feels it.
"Felix." Chan says, his voice weak and croaky, and Felix's heart breaks for him. Chan's pain is his own. "Felix."
"It's okay." Felix steps up the first stair and pulls Chan with him. He aches when Chan hisses. "It's okay. This will be over soon."
Chan lets out a small sob when they step up another stair.
"Just a few more." Felix murmurs.
Another step. Chan stumbles on his bad leg. If Felix wasn't holding him up, Chan surely would've fallen.
"I can't." Chan says. He's vulnerable, and that's what disturbs Felix the most. He's never known Chan like this, and the knowledge that Chan isn't in control, for once, is unsettling.
"Yes, you can." Felix says soothingly. "I'm right here. Just... imagine somewhere faraway. Imagine your favourite place."
Chan nods stiffly. A few more stairs, and they're at the top. Chan lets out a long sigh and sags against him, and Felix is there to comfort him, to softly lead him into the bedroom. Chan clutches at him, his trembling hands tugging at Felix's sweater, and he has to gently prise Chan's hands from him to sit him down on the bed.
"Wait here." Felix says sternly.
"Where else would I go?" Chan asks, his voice still hoarse.
Felix takes the bandages and needle and thread from his drawer. He runs the needle under boiling tap water that was heated quickly by his own magic, and turns back to Chan. He's sitting on the bed, still breathing heavily, his eyes hazy when he looks at Felix.
"It hurts, right?" Felix asks gently. All of his anger at Chan's earlier betrayal is softened by his suffering, by the proof of his hard work.
"It's not so bad." Chan manages to say.
That's a lie, of course. Felix is growing used to Chan's white lies, by now. He rests his hand on Chan's forehead, and summons his magic.
"Water has always had healing qualities," Felix says quietly, "A mermaid's healing magic is not so strong, but it's enough. It can prevent wounds from infection and wash away a little of your pain."
Sure enough, Chan's eyes become a little more focused once Felix's magic has touched him. Felix realises, suddenly, that Chan has no magic of his own. Many in their kingdom, especially knights and servants, were humans trained to fight and survive in the climate of their kingdom. They lacked the prestige and mystery of mermaids.
For a moment, his hand lingers on Chan's skin, at the edge of his hairline.
Then Felix kneels in front of him and peers at the gash in his neck.
"What are you doing?"
"Do you remember, hyung, when you changed my bandage?" Felix cuts off a piece of bandage as he speaks. "It's my turn, now."
The wound isn't deep enough to need stitching, Felix thinks, but if the blade had pressed deeper, Felix is sure it would've been a fatal injury. He swallows and wraps the bandage carefully around Chan's neck. It's not worth thinking about.
Chan smells of blood, but there's still a hint of his cologne and home clinging to him, and it makes Felix want to cry.
"There." Felix says. He ties the bandage and cuts the edge, and the slight movement makes Chan wince. "Sorry, love."
"Aren't you going to ask what happened?"
"Later." Felix murmurs. "Just let me take care of you for now."
The moonlight hits Chan's face and makes the blood on his skin shine darkly. It almost looks black, Felix thinks. But Chan's eyes are the same, as warm and as tired as ever, and even now, through the pain, Chan's gaze still makes his heart flutter.
"Show me your leg." Felix says, and Chan smiles in an embarrassed sort of way and holds out his leg.
Felix rests it on his knee. He rolls up Chan's trousers, and winces. The wound here is deep, bleeding profusely, and it definitely needs stitching. He takes the needle and begins.
"You could've warned me." Chan gives a strangled laugh, and Felix looks up at him.
"You can handle it." He smiles.
The act of stitching would be peaceful if not for the fact it was Chan he was stitching. He threads carefully, but he's distracted every time Chan hisses, and it takes him twice as long to stitch the wound as it would've normally taken him.
Typical, Felix thinks. Whenever Chan is involved, he goes off track. Led by his heart, he trusts too easily, falls too quickly, and loses all of the hard, cold cynicism that his family had taught him. Even now, staring resolutely at the nasty wound on Chan's leg, his heart is in his throat.
He doesn't want Chan to be hurt, not ever. He's suddenly reminded of the nightmare he had, of his father and Chan, thrown against the wall, the word traitor hissed into the darkness. Chan's pain is his worst nightmare, the only thing he can't bear to live through.
Felix finishes stitching and wraps a bandage around Chan's leg, too.
"You're going to have a limp for a while, and the wound will leave a nasty scar. You'll have to come back to me in a few weeks so I can change the stitches." Felix says. "Does it hurt anywhere else?"
Chan shakes his head.
"Just bruises, I think."
Felix nods and stands.
"I'll be right back-" He starts to say, but Chan's warm hand stops him from his wrist.
"Felix..." He says softly, and Felix turns his head over his shoulder. Chan's desperate face makes him melt. He wants to take Chan into his arms, to defend him against the cruel world they were both born into, but it's too late for that now. All they're left with is scars.
"Don't leave." Uttered quietly into the room, the words hurt.
I couldn't ever leave you.
"I won't take long." Felix says. His fingers brush over Chan's before he removes his hand from his wrist. He doesn't say what he wants to.
But could you leave me?
Pained, Felix steps into the en suite and wets a towel with warm water. He doesn't turn on the tap - water just flows from it, as if triggered by his subconscious. As he watches the water run he wonders what happens next. Had Chan achieved what he went home for? Were they free at last?
Felix doubts it. Yet some part of him, the hopeful, loving part that had grown strong since he came into the human realm, still wants to believe that freedom is possible for them.
There's so much he's afraid of. Chan lying to him. His kingdom dragging him back home. Being alone. Being trapped inside of the kingdom inside of himself. But Felix has become brave enough, after almost a year in the human world, to struggle through the fear.
He brushes away the terror, picks up the wet towel and steps out of the bathroom.
Chan is still sitting on the bed. He hadn't disappeared into the air, as Felix thought he might. His head his hung, but he looks up when Felix enters. He's still as lovely as he's always been, but Felix feels like he knows him truly now.
Felix kneels in front of him and presses the warm towel against his face. Chan's eyes flutter shut.
"Tell me everything." Felix murmurs.
As the warm towel wipes away the blood, Chan speaks.
"I told you the plan, didn't I?" He starts. "Go back to the kingdom. Report to your parents that you'd died at sea, just as they'd hoped. Smuggle my parents out of the kingdom. And then come back to you."
Felix nods. It was a risky plan, that made sense in theory, but Chan had known, even before he'd left, how dangerous it was. He'd told Felix then, if I don't come back, then- but he hadn't quite finished his sentence. He was always swallowing his words.
"It went smoothly at first." Chan says, "I followed protocol. I reported on your death at sea. Maybe because I brought that noble home a year or two ago, they trusted me. The kingdom went into it's period of mourning, as expected, and you were officially pronounced dead."
It's a freeing feeling, Felix thinks, to have died somewhere. He's always wished he could leave the kingdom, and now that he never has to go back, relief settles in his stomach. All because of Chan, he thinks.
"I know you might not believe it," Chan says, "But I really did want to set you free. You're free, now, Felix."
A warm smile grows on Felix's face. He's forgiven Chan, by now. His lies were a necessary evil on their way to freedom. His betrayal is a far away thing, a faint memory that Felix doesn't care to remember. The Chan in front of him now, bleeding and true, is the boy he loves. Nothing else matters.
But Chan struggles to smile back.
"There's a but coming, isn't there." Felix says.
Chan nods.
"The next thing I did was see my parents." Chan smiles a little at the memory, but it's tinged with bitterness. His next words seem forced. "They were happy to see me, and congratulated me on finishing my task. Our reputation was much better now, you see. But when I told them I planned to take them to earth with me..."
Chan sighs.
"They refused. "
"What?" Felix blinks, "But why?"
"They told me that all worlds are just as painful as the kingdom." Chan runs a hand over his face. "That no matter where they went, there would be hardship. I understood. Our family, our history, all of our friends, were there. Why would they go into the unknown and leave everything behind, if it would be just as painful?"
Perhaps, Felix thinks, the joy he experienced in this world wasn't because of the human world itself. Rather, what if it was the people here which had made him happy, at last?
"But I-" Chan struggles to speak, I didn't want to escape alone. I'm not as brave as I look, Felix. I was so scared."
Felix stops wiping his face with the towel. He runs a soft hand through Chan's hair.
"No," Felix says, "You are brave."
Chan shakes his head.
"I almost ruined everything." He says, "I forced my parents to come with me. I come to the human realm on official business, as you know, but they don't. Of course when I reached the border with my parents I was found out immediately. I was stupid to think otherwise. When they realised I was trying to escape with them, they threw me into prison."
Chan waves a hand at himself.
"Your parents interrogated me." He says, "Hence this."
Felix's nightmare had come true. He remembers the image of his father gripping Chan by his hair, and his jaw tightens.
"My parents risked everything to free me from the prison." Chan's lip trembles. "They helped me escape. I don't know how they are, or where they are right now. I just escaped and came back here."
In the silence, tears glint in Chan's eyes. He rubs at his face furiously.
"I failed you." Chan whispers, "And you know what the worst part is? Your father asked me, when he was torturing me, was it worth it? I know he was asking about my parents, but I just thought of you. So do you know what I said, Felix? I said yes. "
Chan's hands tremble when he takes Felix's cheeks in his hands.
"I'd do it all again." He says.
"But you- you're disgraced now. You can never see your parents again. You're a criminal. "
"I don't care." Chan grips his face as if he'll disappear any second now, as if he'll leave. But Felix couldn't. "I'd do anything if you got to be free"
Tears fall from Felix's eyes. Chan's sincerity, his love, finally reaches him, holding him close under the moonlight. He has no doubt now, that Chan has been sincere all along. That his heart is tender and golden. That Chan would risk his life for him. It's a suffocating realisation.
"Why are you crying?" Chan smiles slightly, brushing the tears away with his thumbs.
"I just-" Felix gulps, "I'm sorry."
"What?" Chan's hands free on his face, "Why?"
"If I hadn't been selfish, i-if I'd just went back to the kingdom like I should have, you wouldn't be hurt." Felix sobs, "You would still be able to see your parents. You wouldn't be disgraced. Just so I could be happy, I've ruined your life. You're so kind, and so good, you deserve-"
Chan kisses him.
Felix's sad, desperate words are kissed away. His tears, the blood, all of their shared tragic history, fades away into the warmth of Chan's mouth against his own.
"You're wrong," Chan says, pulling away from him, "You haven't ruined my life. You've made it better."
Felix blinks at him. His lips parted, his eyes red, he can say nothing.
"I've learned what happiness is."
When Chan looks away from him shyly, Felix thinks, I love you.
"Felix." Chan says. He touches Felix with a reverence Felix could never understand. Felix closes his eyes and leans into his hands, and he feels everything. "I love you."
They were meant to find each other, Felix thinks, and presses a small kiss to the side of Chan's mouth.
"I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough," Chan says, "I wanted to fix everything, but I ended up being weak."
Still kneeling, Felix pulls Chan's head towards him and rests it in the corner between his neck and shoulder.
"Lean on me." He says. "You're brave enough, hyung. I know you want to be strong, but don't you see? You already are. You're good, and kind, and you deserve everything. So rest on me for now."
Chan let's out a shaky sigh against his skin. He leans against Felix, at last.
"I know you now. I promise I do." Felix says. "I won't leave you. We're free now."
"Have you forgiven me?"
"Oh, sweetheart." Felix says fondly, stroking Chan's hair, "There was never anything to forgive."
They're free. The realisation hasn't sunk in yet. Felix can only hope that now, the scars that still ache within them can be slowly healed. He thinks that as long as they lean on one another, they can survive anything.
*
Summer has finally arrived. The sun is warm against Felix's skin, and the sand is hot beneath him. Felix sits on the beach, watching the sparkling ocean kiss the shoreline over and over again. He breathes in the smell of sea salt and Chan, and feels at peace
Beside him, Chan sits with his injured leg stretched in front of him. It's been healing well, thanks to Felix's careful help, and the cut on his neck no longer requires a bandage. The thin red line against his skin is a reminder of the pain they've went through. Chan is smiling at nothing, watching the sky, and Felix can feel his happiness as if it's his own.
If there was one moment Felix could choose to remember, it'd be this one. The nameless smile on Chan's face is a promise he wants to keep.
"What do you feel when you swim?" Chan asks.
"Wet." Felix replies, and Chan scowls and shoves his shoulder.
"I was being serious."
"Sorry," Felix giggles. "I must be picking up the sarcasm from Minho hyung."
Felix considers the question.
"Free," He finally murmurs, breathing in time with the tide. "The ocean against my tail, the water in my lungs, the current pushing against me... I can't describe it."
Chan nods, listening.
"It reminds me of dancing." Felix says.
"I think that might be how I feel when I perform, too" Chan replies. "I've never felt as real as I do when I'm on stage."
"Yeah," Felix smiles, "I'll have to join you on the stage, one day."
Chan's smile becomes teasing.
"Will you?" He drawls, "I'd like to see that."
Their gentle laughter is a welcome sound. The back of their hands touch, and Felix is grateful for the warmth, for the companionship, Chan brings. He's used to watching the sea, but beside Chan, it takes on a new meaning. It's like he's seeing the horizon for the first time, despite knowing it by heart.
Felix is struck with the thought that he'd fallen for his best friend, his soulmate, against all of the odds. All of the pain was worth it.
"Summer is coming." Felix says, "Everyone keeps asking me what I'm doing for vacation, but I've never had a summer break before."
"Oh." Chan says, his eyes twinkle. "You'll learn soon enough."
"What do you mean?"
He turns to Chan, who's grinning widely.
"Hyung?"
"You'll see."
"See what? " Felix whines, "Have you planned something?"
"Maybe." He tilts his head at Felix, his grin bright. "Don't worry. I'll make sure you have a great summer break."
He's insufferable, Felix thinks, melting at Chan's smile and his kind words. He'd planned something for them without mentioning it, even when he was injured. Maybe he's an angel, Felix thinks. Certainly the way the sun hits his dark hair is angelic, and the curve of his mouth, the light in his eyes, couldn't possibly be human.
Touched, Felix's smile softens.
"What-" Chan starts to say.
Gently, Felix pushes him back against the sand and climbs on top of him, careful not to brush his injured leg. He kisses Chan, giddy and warm under the sunlight.
"My hoodie," Chan giggles, trying to hide his face from Felix's kisses, "It's covered in sand. You'll ruin it."
"Don't care." Felix says, wanting to be as close to him as possible. Chan has never complained about his frequent affection, so Felix plans to continue it for as soon as possible. "Come here."
There's nothing but laughter, the sand, the sound of the sea... Felix is enamored by Chan's eyes looking up at him, his soft skin, and the hope for a better future.
*
It doesn't take long for Chan to spill his Summer plans to Felix.
So when they end up at a cabin by a waterfall, a pretty vacation home with sunlight and huge rooms, Felix is only half surprised. He'd invited all of the people who'd made his first year so lovely, and the eight of them had ventured out into the country, tanned and excited for the summer ahead.
One night, the fire crackles. It'd taken a while to set up a campfire behind the cabin, with their fumbling hands and eight confused faces struggling to work it out, but now the fire is set up they sit peacefully around it. They hold out sticks with marshmallows on the end, letting the heat bronze them. When they bite into the marshmallows, they're melted in the middle.
(Though Changbin had complained his was burned, and Jisung had quickly come to the rescue).
Felix let's out a warm breath. The summer nights are cooler, but still warm, and the brush of the summer breeze against his skin is a welcome relief against the heat. He leans against Chan's side, trying not to fall asleep, as the sound of the fire and the smell of smoke lulls him.
He glances at the familiar faces around him, all lit by the campfire. Changbin and Jisung bicker, their cheeks full with marhsmallows, but they're smiling. Jeongin is talking to Seungmin animatedly, their happy voices drifting around the fire like smoke. Hyunjin and Minho are getting to know each other, awkwardly stumbling through first greetings and giggling at each other.
Then there's Chan. Warm, steady Chan, who looks up at the stars. Felix thinks Chan is like a star himself, burning and sparkling, a bright guide through the dark, endless night. His dark hair is getting longer, and his eyes sparkle. Though time has yet to heal all of their wounds, Felix has noticed that the dark shadows under his eyes are lightening just a little.
Felix loves him as much as always. More every day. He listens to the fire crackle, and closes his eyes.
"We should tell stories." Hyunjin says over the fire.
"Yeah." Jeongin agrees, grinning in his innocent, excited sort of way, "Ghost stories?"
"They fit the mood." Jisung pipes up, ever the sentimental. He gestures to the fire. "Ghost stories around the campfire, I love that."
"Course you do." Changbin laughs.
As Hyunjin starts to tell a ghost story, Felix lets the words blend into one. He's so comfortable, beside his friends, that he can hardly remember the hardship it had taken him to get to this moment. All he knows is the soothing circles Chan is making on his back, a gentle touch that makes him soft and sleepy.
Felix's eyes flutter open when he hears Chan's voice, though.
"I know a story." He says mysteriously. Even without seeing him, Felix can hear the smile curling in his voice.
"Come on then." Seungmin says.
"Well," Chan starts, "There once was a kingdom ruled by mermaids..."
Felix smiles, a pink blush tingeing his cheeks. As he listens to Chan tell their story, he feels himself grow happier and happier. It's not that the past doesn't hurt. Rather, it's become something he can look back on fondly, because it brought him happiness. It brought him Chan.
"Sorry," Minho says, when Chan is finished, "But that was a bit..."
"Weak?" Seungmin pipes up.
"Yeah." Changbin says, "And I'm scared of everything, but I wasn't scared."
Chan splutters, embarassed.
"Are you hearing this?" He asks Felix.
In the light of the fire, Felix looks into Chan's face, and loves him.
It starts to rain. It pours in earnest, quickly putting out the fire and soaking them into the bone. Without the fire, it should be pitch black, but Felix can sees Chan's eyes sparkling even in the dark.
"Did you do this?" Chan asks, as the rain falls.
Felix reaches for him in the dark and kisses him sweetly.
"I didn't." Felix lies, kissing him again.
"Liar."
"I just-" Felix touches Chan's cheeks, his hair, in wonder at the happiness he feels, "Thank you."
"The vacation's nothing-"
Felix swallows his words with another kiss.
"Not just that. Thank you for everything." He murmurs. "I love you."
He feels Chan's embarassed smile, rather than seeing it.
"I'm so happy." Felix says.
"Felix," Chan says softly, reaching back for him in the dark, "This is just the beginning."
Freedom is sweet, Felix thinks. It feels like Chan's arms around him, and the sea.