Chapter Text
A week has passed since Shannon had her accident and the doctors just cleared her to go home. She has a broken leg and both Eddie and their son insisted that she comes home with them instead of at her apartment. For Chris, it makes sense that she will live with them, they are a family again and he misses his mommy. But for Eddie and Shannon, the conversation was much more complicated. He loves her and would probably always will, so accepting that this is definitely over is going to be tough, especially if he wakes up every morning with her. Yet, she needs help and he will always be there for her. ‘In sickness and in health’ will not end with their soon-to-be-pronounced divorce. She eventually yet hesitantly accepted the invitation.
Eddie is carrying her bags in one hand and opening the door with the other. Shannon and Christopher follow him in, both on their crutches.
“You can take my room tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch.” Eddie tells her quietly so Christopher doesn’t hear it. They haven’t told him yet.
Buck is still the only one who knows about it. When he finally answered Bobby’s text, he did not mention the divorce, Eddie stayed vague and said that Shannon and he had a lot of things going on and that he gladly accepts the days off. His boss did not question it and asked a firefighter from another station to cover Eddie’s shifts. This time, when the new guy showed up, Buck didn’t have to ask “Who the hell is this?” because he didn’t even care about the answer. He missed Eddie already.
Eddie has a few missing calls from his best friend but he ignores them for now. He is not about to let Buck hear him cry again. He is already ashamed about what happened at the hospital and he has been avoiding him ever since.
It is late in the afternoon when they come home and Christopher is excited to have his mom by his side when he is doing his homework. Eddie is looking at them sadly. They are both so happy that his heart could melt but he has to remember that she is not his anymore. This is not their life and sooner or later she will leave them, leave him. She was not living with them, but it could still pretend it was temporary until now.
He was starting to feel great again after their separation. He moved to a new town, started an amazing job, and found a family in the 118. He could almost believe that he deserved this new happiness. He could pretend that the separation was not his fault, that it wasn’t final. He kept his wedding ring on a drawer with the 5 words letter that she left him. The thin piece of paper never felt like an end to their marriage, never felt like the failure that it is. Back then he could convince himself that he would get his family back, that he did not screw up things too bad, and that the pieces could fit together again someday. But now he knows that he failed the two people in the living-room. He wanted this to work so Chris could have both his parents. There is nothing he would not do for his boy.
Chris is even more cheerful when his homework is done. He calls for Eddie to join them on the couch. He sits next to his son and puts his arm around him. Eddie’s hand accidentally grazes Shannon’s shoulder and he pulls away immediately.
“Can we watch a movie together?” Christopher asks, already thinking about the long list of movies he wants to show to his mom.
“Your dad and I would like to talk to you first baby” Shannon answers before Eddie does.
“Maybe now is not a good time,” Eddie says.
“Eddie, we talked about it. There will never be a good time for this conversation”.
“Are you two okay?” Christopher asks.
“We are. But we have something to tell you.”
Eddie’s mouth is shut. So Shannon speaks for the two of them. She explains to their son that she is not going to live with the two of them and that she won’t spend the night with his daddy anymore. She will not go back to her former one-bedroom apartment though and will be searching for another apartment as soon as she can walk on her own. She already started looking when she was in the hospital and she saw one within walking distance from Eddie’s and she assures Christopher that he will love it. He will have his own room at her place. This will be his home as much as hers because sometimes, families live in two different houses. They are going to be okay, she promises her son. He takes everything in, trying to understand what it means for their family.
Shannon is smiling the whole time, but Eddie knows her enough to know that she is still sad. This is not a conversation she wanted to have with her young son. Telling Eddie was painful enough, it was as hard as it was necessary. But this very conversation is so much harder. She has a letter in a box, and she is very determined on leaving it in the box forever. She will never leave her son again. The more she talks, the more Christopher looks at his dad who hasn’t said a word. He is trying his best not to cry in front of his boy but Christopher knows that his dad is very sad. It has been a long time since he saw his dad so sad. He was sad when they first moved in, or when he had a bad day at work, and Christopher loves to hug him so he could help him feel better. But this time he doesn’t know what to do to take away Eddie’s sadness. He starts to feel guilty, imagining he might be the reason his dad feels that way.
“Why don’t you want to live with us? Did we do something bad? Is it because of me?” he asks. He sounds so much like his father.
“No baby, you did something wrong,” she says.
“But I thought you loved us,” Christopher says, his little voice is barely above a whisper.
“I do. I love you and I love your daddy. We are a family and it will never change.”
She is out of words, so Eddie takes over. He can not let Shannon take all the blames. This decision might be hers, but he took decisions too, all of them leading them to this moment.
“You see Christopher, sometimes two adults love each other very much, but it’s still not enough to stay together. Your mom and I will always be here for each other and for you. Always” he repeats, he needs to be sure Christopher knows that. “But we are not going to be a couple anymore. All I ever wanted is for the three of us to be happy, even if we spend some time apart.”
“But it makes you sad?”
“I’m not sad because of your mom. She did nothing wrong. And I love her, always will. I’m going to miss her when she will live in her new house,” Eddie admits. He looks at her and allows himself to take her hand for the first time since she woke up from the accident. “She is not going there now. She is staying here for a few weeks so why don’t we appreciate this time together and have a lot of sleepovers here. Buck told me you made a great pillow fort together. You think we can do that here?”
Christopher nods shyly, letting the tears he hold slide on his cheeks.
“I’m not leaving my family Chris. I promise you” Shannon swears, sweeping his tears away. She was so close to never seeing her beautiful boy and it really put things in perspective.
Even though they haven’t lived together since Texas, getting a divorce still changes a lot of things for her. She wants to stay a Diaz, to share her son’s name and Eddie is not against the idea. He wants her name to remind them what they had.
The last time the three of them hugged was on Christmas day, when he granted his son’s wish and brought his mom back. Now, Eddie holds them tight and makes a promise to his boy.
“We are going to be okay.” Eddie says, and for the first time, maybe he starts to believe it. He opens his arms and takes both Christopher and Shannon against him.
Christopher has been the greatest joy of their life. The love they both have for him has no limit and they will always share that. They created a life together, made the most beautiful boy they have ever seen. Their son already taught them more than they could have imagined and he is strong enough to get through their divorce. They will have to figure out the custody arrangement, but it will be worth, even though they will miss him.
Signing his name next to hers on the paper is the final closure of their marriage. It is also a silent promise that they will not let each other or their son down ever again. A divorce is not an act of hate, for the Diaz, it’s quite the opposite. It’s proof that they love each other enough to let go.