Chapter Text
When one blinks, it's not supposed to waste a fraction of one's lifetime. The movement is too brief, too insignificant. Unremarkable.
It's definitely not supposed to matter this much, not how Keith feels like it does during the year she spends in the desert before Takashi Shirogane returns back to Earth. Keith is only eighteen yet she feels like she's so old her tombstone has already been engraved with words that mean nothing to no one.
As stupid and irrelevant as the thought may be, there's a bite of truth in it as well and that is what Keith remembers when Shiro comes back;
battered and bruised but just like Keith knew she would be -- alive.
*
Yes, Shiro is alive and maybe she's not entirely well, but she lives and breathes and that's the only thing that matters first and foremost in Keith's biased opinion.
Curiously enough, "Your hair's gotten longer," is one of the first things Shiro says to Keith after their long-overdue reunion. There's a strange sort of hue in her tone, one that makes Keith's heart jump up and down faster than -- well, since Shiro was taken from her.
An idiotic thought because Shiro was never Keith's, to begin with, but somehow that doesn't seem to matter as much anymore.
So, Keith smiles, just a little more pleased than necessary. Her hair is indeed longer, almost reaching her shoulder blades at this point which is probably a little weird considering it's only been a year since they have last seen each other. Yet another unexplainable, strange feature Keith has come to have. She should probably list them all down.
"Yeah, it is," Keith says. Shiro clears her throat as her eyes flicker to Keith's own. Her own hair is as short as ever, jet black with white bangs drooping on her forehead.
It's not strange or weird, Keith thinks. Just different.
The arm is different, too, but Keith still loves Takashi Shirogane as endlessly as she did when she was seventeen and stupid with it.
How would it feel like to say that aloud once more? That is what Keith briefly wonders before Shiro opens her mouth again.
"It looks… nice on you, I think," Shiro continues, sounding unusually awkward. Her human hand reaches out to tug on Keith's hair, just like she used to do before the Kerberos mission. It's nice. Familiar. It's been so long since Keith has been touched by Shiro and it feels like it's been even longer when she touched her in return.
Shiro's mouth twitches before she suddenly snaps her hand back and coughs loudly. Further yet, she doesn't meet Keith's eyes anymore, looking up to the blue, blue sky instead, her hands curled into tight fists.
"Thanks," Keith says and then there's only a hell of a lot of silence.
*
Life can certainly be interesting with enough stimulus, but space is still very different than Keith ever thought it could be.
In more ways than one.
*
Mostly because:
inch by inch, time after time, Keith & Shiro begin to change and evolve.
Or perhaps this is ever so more accurate: Shiro seems to change her opinion of Keith.
It's not as if they weren't very close friends during the Garrison days, both of them know that to be true and Shiro has also said it in so many words. Still, it doesn't take a lot of Keith to notice the slight alteration in their dynamic.
Here are a few things that are new:
1. Shiro touches Keith more freely.
They were already very tactile with each other back in the Garrison, but this is different. Deeper. More intimate. It's no longer just petting Keith's hair and cuddling her when they're half asleep and watching movies.
It's Shiro holding her hand. Shiro almost casually wrapping her arm around Keith's waist. Shiro cupping Keith's cheek and smiling warmly down at her.
All the new attention fucks up Keith a bit. Because it feels like she's loved Shiro for a whole eternity without gaining much in return and suddenly she has something like this.
It kind of feels even a little unfair.
2. Shiro praises Keith more frequently.
It's not like she didn't compliment Keith before at all, but now Shiro tells Keith that her hair looks nice when Keith has enough patience to try to style it in some way. She says that Keith's leather jacket looks good on her even though Keith has worn that same damn thing for over three years now and Shiro never commented on it before. Shiro says that she likes seeing Keith smile because "her smile is pretty and always makes her feel better."
In conclusion, Shiro says a lot of things and all of them are new and genuine. It feels unreal and impossibly good at the same time because Keith didn't think this was something that could ever happen. Call her a pessimist.
3. Shiro blushes around Keith. Like, a lot.
She never used to do that but now she flushes even from the slightest of things. When Keith compliments her back. When Keith touches her in return after Shiro brushes the back of her knuckles across Keith's cheekbone. When Keith confesses off-handedly that she still thinks the world of Shiro -- how that has never changed despite their unique circumstances.
She will always love Shiro endlessly, plain and simple. There’s no use beating around the bush when it’s practically common knowledge at this point. She's pretty sure even Lance has figured it out.
Shiro blushing is a rather adorable sight, Keith has to admit. Her ears get pink from the slightest of physical contact and her words stammer for a good while afterwards. Keith is intrigued so she can’t help but prod and poke more than necessary, but Shiro never calls her out on it or asks her to stop which is very interesting in Keith’s opinion.
So yes, Shiro is changing, they are evolving and it's a very interesting new development even if Keith tries her very best to not to read too much into it. The disappointment would be far too crushing if it turned out to be false hope.
*
They start sparring together again.
At first Shiro wasn't willing to do that for the longest of times despite Keith insisting it would be fine and she's not scared of Shiro, could never be scared of Shiro. It's impossible to even think about.
But still, Keith does, of course, understand Shiro's hesitation even if she sometimes feels a little frustrated by it. She cannot even imagine everything that Shiro has been through and so far Shiro has been quiet about it. Keith understands that, too. Time is not of the essence right now for it takes a lot more than just that to heal.
Keith remains patient as well as she can, because Shiro deserves everything she could possibly want. Keith is kind and sweet, lets Shiro know that she will always be there for her and that is something that will never expire. She's far too gone and in love for that to ever happen.
No, Keith won't ever change her mind about Shiro. Ever. Even if she has to suffer through unrequited (?) feelings for the rest of her life.
But yes, sparring comes almost a daily occurrence for them. It's something to do, something to feel.
It takes time for Shiro to stop being too careful. A long, long while, but eventually they get there.
*
The hair is, apparently, some sort of thing for Shiro.
It’s not weird or creepy or anything like that (as if Shiro could ever be one of those things), but when Shiro asks Keith if she can braid it, it starts to get interesting.
Because the truth of the matter is, of course, that Shiro has probably never braided hair in her life. Shiro’s own hair is short and handsome, a simple undercut that only needs regular buzzing and some sort of weird, expensive shampoo (that can definitely not be found in outer space) but that’s about it as far as Keith knows. She’s never seen Shiro with long hair. Though, she imagines it would be fascinating to see her grow out her hair some time, she would look good like that, Keith suspects. Shiro looks good in every way.
“Can I braid your hair?” Shiro blurts out one day out of the blue after Keith gets out of the shower after an intense round in the battle simulator. Keith is unusually tired so she stops right in her tracks, eyes wide as she stares at Shiro, who has apparently been waiting in the dressing room for her to come out.
Keith looks at Shiro and combs her fingers through her damp hair which has started to get curly after it gets wet for some unknown reason. It tangles and becomes frizzy easily so Keith does like to braid or wrap it into a loose bun after a shower.
She just didn't know Shiro had been paying enough attention to know that.
“Um,” Keith says intelligently. Blinks. “Sure… I guess. If you really want to?”
It comes out as a question but Shiro nods very seriously, determined, like braiding Keith’s hair is some sort of important mission that needs to succeed.
So this is how Keith ends up dragging a large stool in front of Shiro and sitting on it after handing Shiro her brush and a hairband. She’s not entirely sure why she feels strangely awkward and flustered, but Shiro is impossibly careful with her. She brushes Keith's hair for a few long minutes, making sure it’s completely smooth and untangled before she gathers Keith’s hair into three sections and starts braiding it with slow movements.
She's quiet as she works and her hands are gentle. Soft. Almost loving or intimate.
Keith’s heart squeezes inside her chest so she closes her eyes and lets herself enjoy the moment while it lasts.
If it lasts, she reminds herself morbidly.
The braid ends up being floppy and too loose, a big damn mess really, but Keith loves it more than anything and keeps it on for the rest of the day.
Shiro blushes and smiles every time their eyes meet.
*
Things continue like this for god knows how long. There's tender touches, warm words and flickering hope and it’s absolutely infuriating not to know what it all means. Keith has no clue what to make of it all. She doesn’t know what to make of Shiro anymore.
She’s not sure if Shiro enjoys playing this tug of war with Keith’s heart or if Shiro is even aware she’s doing it, but what Keith does know is that she can’t take it much longer.
Keith still loves Shiro so, so much. With everything she is, everything she has; there are no words strong enough to describe it. Nothing seems like it could come even close enough and this is why this, all of this, is so fucking dangerous for her. For both of them.
She needs answers and she needs them soon.
*
In the end, Keith decides that perhaps it is indeed better to get a straight answer before it gets completely out of hand, so to speak.
"Why are you doing... all this?" Keith asks one night when Shiro unnecessarily walks her all the way across the castle into her room again, just to spend a few extra minutes in her company. Her words, not Keith's, though she certainly has no objections as long as she gets to hold Shiro's large hand and walk so closely to one another that there's scarcely space between them.
Shiro's steps falter as they come to a stop in front of Keith's door. She seems to know what Keith is talking about without asking and doesn't seem to want to pretend otherwise.
"I…" she starts quietly. Licks her lips with a deep frown. She doesn't look exactly uncertain, but Keith has a feeling this is something big, something Shiro has considered for a while now.
"I guess I want to… see," Shiro says.
"See what?" Keith asks softly. Kindly. Shiro is still holding her hand. She rubs the tender skin of Keith's wrist with her big thumb. The slight touch is so gentle it's almost senseless.
"You," Shiro answers hesitantly, searching Keith's eyes with her gaze. "And… me. Us."
Keith's breath shivers in the air between them. "Why?" she whispers incredulously. Her head feels hollow and she can barely concentrate on anything other than the way Shiro keeps touching her like she's something precious. "Why now?"
"Because you've waited for me for so, so long," Shiro answers with a small smile.
Part of Keith wants to say that it's not actually that long and Shiro shouldn't feel obliged of all things, but then Shiro continues: "My mind and heart are a big damn mess because of it. It's a little funny. Three years ago all I wanted was to go to Kerberos and make my parents and grandpa proud, but now it seems like --"
Shiro pauses and draws a long breath. Keith is still. "Like you're the only thing in my mind. All the time I think about you," she says. She closes her eyes and opens them slowly to peer down at Keith. She looks so fond, it makes Keith want to kiss her now more than ever. "Just you."
Keith is not even aware that she's crying before Shiro cups her cheeks and wipes the tears away with the kindest touch there is.
"Is that something you would want?" Shiro asks then. She bends down to press their foreheads together. "To hang on with me until I figure everything out. And maybe to… to be with me when I -- both of us -- are ready?"
She's very nervous, Keith notices. She has never seen Takashi Shirogane as nervous as she is right at this moment. Keith is pretty sure there's a few tears in Shiro's grey eyes as well.
As if there would ever be a world or universe where Keith would even consider saying no.
epilogue;
Consider this:
having everything one has ever wanted handed to one on a silver platter without any reservations. How would it feel? How would it change one’s world image? Would life ever feel the same afterwards?
Those feel like excellent questions, but Keith Kogane has no particular answers for them. It's simply so difficult to put into words what sort of emotions run through her head when she kisses Takashi Shirogane for the very first time after years of longing and waiting.
It happens merely a few weeks after Shiro’s confession, sooner than Keith expects but no later than she hoped. Even impatient people know how to wait for a good thing to happen once there’s already been a promise of it.
Shiro kisses Keith after a good round of sparring and it catches Keith completely off guard. One second Keith is pressing Shiro down into the mattress and grinning at her and the next Shiro is staring at her in wonder, eyes wide open and lips curved into a smile. Then she yanks Keith down by her long braid (ouch) and presses their lips together in a simple, short kiss.
It's sweet and lovely and more than Keith has ever hoped for.