Chapter Text
Michelle feels like the bottom has fallen through on her, bracing a hand against the wall as Morgan’s voice continues in the background - out of focus as Michelle tries to process this unfathomable piece of information.
Peter is Spider-Man. Peter WAS Spider-Man.
Peter is dead.
Michelle gasps, feeling a hand on her shoulder that she immediately wants to shake off - only to meet Liz’s eyes, concern written all over face.
“Dr. Jones?” She asks, using the honorific they only ever did when in front of volunteers - another tick in the box of Michelle’s mind in support that Morgan wasn’t making all of this up to mess with her.
She didn’t believe that she would, but it helps all the same especially since the chance that she would’ve ever heard her referred to as ‘MJ’ in any other context was slim to none. Michelle tries to catch her breath as her gaze shifts between Liz’s face filled with worry and Morgan’s that only shows fury.
“It was me,” Michelle finally says, coming to grips with herself. “I’m— my friends call me MJ.”
Morgan’s eyes widen even more, her head shaking a few times in disbelief as Liz asks, “What was you? What’s going on?”
“You— you’re MJ ?” Morgan asks, Liz’s head snapping to her before her eyes dart between the two of them.
“What—“
“You’re telling me you knew? You knew this all time and you--You left him. You didn’t— you broke his heart,” Morgan snarls, taking a step forward as tears start to form in her eyes.
“I didn’t know. I didn’t know who he was,” Michelle replies, refusing to take the guilt of a grieving teenager yet her gut feeling hollow all the same when the realization finally sinks in. “That’s why he didn’t come.”
“Why didn’t you stop it? Why didn’t you—“ Morgan begins, only for a nurse to pop their head out of the room and shush the three of them.
Morgan looks like she’s going to snap at them until Liz intervenes, thanking the nurse and saying, “Let’s take this somewhere else.”
“My patients—“
“Deserve better than someone who can barely stand upright right now,” Liz finishes, standing up straighter and glancing at Morgan. “Let’s go and talk this out somewhere.”
“I’m not going anywhere until—“
“Now,” Liz says with the kind of authority that makes Morgan hold her tongue, staring back at Liz in defiance.
When it’s clear that Liz isn’t going to budge, she lets out a huff but Liz takes that as a win, turning her attention to Michelle as she says, “Come on, there’s a lounge down the hall.”
Michelle allows herself to be led away, walking on autopilot as the three of them follow after Liz.
She can feel Morgan’s rage and grief emanating off of her in waves but Michelle’s too far gone to be concerned about it just yet - coming to grips with the reality in front of her that can’t possibly be true and yet it is.
Peter was Spider-Man, every story and every joke and every note making that much more sense when she paired with the knowledge that he was the Peter from her letters.
That Peter had been writing to her from an upstate cabin lake house, a place where Tony Stark had lived - the same person who created time travel, a part of Michelle connecting the dots to whether it had been in that very same house.
That Peter hadn’t ditched her for their date on Halloween in 2035 because of an argument or getting bored of each other.
That Peter had been Spider-Man.
And Spider-Man was dead.
They sit in silence, Michelle staring at Morgan who now is looking at anywhere but her.
“So,” Liz says carefully, eyes darting between the two of them once more, “time traveling mailbox?”
Michelle could almost laugh if she didn’t feel like she was going to throw up, catching Morgan’s eye roll as Liz continues. “I mean, half the universe was dead for five years from a nine-foot genocidal purple alien and the Avengers did time travel to fix it so--”
Liz shrugs, Michelle turning her attention back to her, “I’m honestly surprised there hasn’t been more of this kind of stuff out there.”
“There has,” Morgan says, both Liz and Michelle turning to her in surprise. Morgan grits her teeth, looking annoyed before she sighs exasperatingly and shrugs.
“It’s not like it’s public knowledge or anything. People would freak out.”
Liz nods understandingly, glancing to Michelle.
“How are you holding up right now?” She asks, Michelle taking a deep breath as Morgan looks away from her.
“I don’t know,” Michelle answers honestly. “I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Peter is--”
“Dead. He’s dead and you didn’t do anything ,” Morgan interjects, the fury on her face giving way to a grief that pierces right through Michelle. Liz holds a hand up to her gently, bracing the other against Michelle’s arm.
“If I understand what you two have said and forgive me if I don’t, this is a lot to try and understand, it sounds like Dr. Jones didn’t even know that your Peter was Spider-Man, much less that he…”
Liz clears her throat, seemingly coming to grips herself with the truth of who Peter Parker was in her own way. Michelle’s reminded of what Liz had told her that first day, of also growing up in New York. The loss of Spider-Man was felt everywhere, but especially for natives of the city.
“That he’s gone,” she finally says.
Morgan looks as if she’s seconds away from crying again, boring her eyes into Liz before finally shifting to Michelle.
Michelle for her part isn’t even sure what expression she has on her face or how professional she’s even capable of being, reeling still from the reality that she had corresponded for almost a year with a dead man.
And not just that he was dead, but that his death - if Morgan’s snide remark had any weight to it - was somehow brought about because of her refusing to write to him ever again. That he’d gotten reckless and thrown himself into a fight he couldn’t possibly have won alone, the memory of the Avengers swooping in just seconds too late coming back to mind.
There’s still so many unanswered questions for Michelle, not just the connection of Harry to the lake house or why Peter hadn’t contacted her during the year or so that separated him - only to remember with piercing clarity her last words to him.
Let me let you go .
It’s painful now even more so to remember it, especially with the guilt that her words had somehow had a hand in his death. But before Michelle can give herself the chance to spiral, Morgan’s next words throw her out of her thoughts.
“But he doesn’t have to be right? You can-- you can fix this,” Morgan says earnestly, Michelle looking up to meet her gaze.
“Morgan--” Liz begins, Morgan shaking her head quickly as she sits up straighter.
“You can fix this. Peter he-- he went up to the lake house all the time, right up until Happy started renting it out. He,” Morgan lets out a laugh that sounds choked off, “he didn’t even rent it out, it was just to some rich kid who was friends with Peter.”
“Harry,” Michelle says, Morgan nodding furiously, only to let out a huff.
“He knew Harry, I don’t-- I don’t understand why he didn’t just find…” Morgan trails off, closing her eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath - opening her eyes once more to straight right into Michelle’s.
“You can fix this. You have to,” Morgan pleads, Michelle uncharacteristically at a loss for words when Liz chimes in.
“Morgan, I’ll admit I don’t know a lot about time travel but wouldn’t that be impossible?”
“My dad invented time travel,” Morgan bounces back, glancing to Liz before looking back at Michelle. “He invented it at our lake house . If he can do that, then you can-- you can still save Peter right? You can write to him. Tell him to--”
“Watch out for a freak tentacle man?” Michelle offers helplessly, Morgan’s eyes pleading with her as Michelle continues. “Morgan, the only reason I went back up to the lake house was because Peter died right in front of me.”
Michelle’s breath hitches at that as Morgan sharply inhales, snapping her lips shut as Michelle continues, “I’m not saying I don’t-- of course , I-- I didn’t know that Peter was…”
Michelle takes hold of herself, taking a deep breath before exhaling slowly before saying, “If the only reason that I found him is because he died, wouldn’t trying to stop him create a paradox?”
“No cause that’s not how time travel works,” Morgan says, sounding entirely too certain of herself for someone who is sixteen - only for Michelle to be keenly aware once again of the last name she carries as Morgan continues, “That’s just from old movies it’s-- time’s a lot more complicated than that. If you stopped him, it’d just create like a different timeline.”
“Regardless,” Liz cuts in, looking a little out of her depth in a way that Michelle has never seen her before, “you can’t know that for certain. Even if it worked exactly as you said, if Dr. Jones was able to somehow stop Peter from dying, which there’s no guarantee that anything she says would even do that, we have no way of knowing how that’ll affect this timeline.”
Morgan pauses at that, Liz taking advantage of it as she says, “Not to mention that this isn’t something that we should be deciding to begin with. No disrespect to your dad or any of the Avengers but,” Liz lets out a small laugh, “this isn’t the kind of stuff teenagers and normal people should be messing with.”
“But I’m not normal, I’ve never been normal,” Morgan says with tears in her eyes, Michelle’s heart constricting for how desperate she sounds. “Don’t you get it? This is it-- this is, this could be the thing that saves him.”
She turns back to Michelle. “ Please . We have to--”
Morgan’s cut off by a knock at the door of the breakroom, all of them going silent just when an unfamiliar voice on the other end says, “Mo, you in there? Sorry to cut it short today but your mom needs you back at home.”
Morgan freezes, eyes widening as she turns to the door before glancing back at Liz and Michelle.
“Happy. He’s my--”
“Your driver,” Michelle says, though she knows the name now as being the same person who clearly must rent the lake house out to her aunt - a part of her secretly wondering if Harry was somehow in on the whole thing to or if it was all just some massive cosmic coincidence.
It wouldn’t be the first time, just as Morgan was randomly assigned to her as a mentee, Michelle still reeling from the afternoon’s revelations but quickly shoving it aside in favor of getting to the task at hand.
Morgan stands, Michelle and Liz doing the same as she calls out, “Yeah, I’m coming.”
She looks back to Michelle, eyes searching her face before a look of determination falls over it.
“I’m gonna save Peter, Dr. Jones. With or without you,” she says. If Michelle had any doubt that she was Pepper Potts' daughter, she wouldn’t anymore - a fierceness in her that spoke volumes not just to the father who died to save the universe but the mother who had raised her.
Before Michelle or Liz have the chance to answer, Morgan turns without saying another word - leaving Michelle to wrestle with the impact of her words.
“What are you going to do?”
Michelle shrugs, taking a long swig of her beer as Liz sits next to her in the crowded bar of O’Donnell’s. It wouldn’t have been Michelle’s first choice but there’s something about the noise that actually helps her think, setting her drink down as she takes stock of the options in front of her.
Michelle had no doubt that Morgan meant every single word of what she said, the determination in her eyes haunting her in the background as Michelle worked her shift. Morgan wasn’t set to come back into the hospital for another few days and if she was successful, there was a good chance that she wouldn’t be coming back to the hospital to begin with.
The fact that Morgan’s plan was ridiculous, based solely on a hope that may not even work paled in comparison to what would happen if it did. In Morgan’s mind, the chance to bring Peter back - at any cost - was worth it.
But Michelle was a doctor, a healer - swearing an oath to do no harm. Peter was dead and yet Michelle couldn’t help but think of what would happen if he wasn’t, what that would mean for the millions of people who had not only died but lived in the months that he’s been gone.
The world would no doubt be better off if Spider-Man was still in it, the memorials all around the city still being proof of that. Yet there was still the chance that doing so would set off some kind of terrible chain reaction, Michelle feeling as if she was dealing with things far beyond the scope of things any normal person should ever have to deal with.
Yet Morgan’s words come back to her, the realization that for Morgan this was normal. Michelle vividly remembered what it had been like to have been snapped from existence and to be brought back, readjusting to a world that had moved on and was thrown back into upheaval once again. For all the objective good that being alive meant to her and to billions of others, Michelle wasn’t foolish enough to try and dismiss the ramifications of what the Avengers did and how it impacted the universe still to this day.
Now here Michelle was, faced with a choice - to let Peter stay dead and live in the world as it is today, living with the reality that she may have been a cause in it or to take a chance - risk everything for the one person she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about no matter how much she’s tried.
A person that Michelle wonders, glancing to Liz, might be worth risking everything for.
Michelle’s hand grips the steering wheel a little tighter as she drives down the familiar highway, the anticipation and dread running through her in equal parts.
This was foolish, probably the craziest thing she’s ever done— second only to writing Peter back on that first day.
But there’s no turning back now, literally or figuratively as she takes the exit that will take her to where the lake house will be.
Any thought she had of someone being up there is gone now she knows from Morgan that no one but her seems to rent it out in the first place. She nearly called her aunt Anna, then Harry, then her aunt Anna on the way up here and stopped herself every time— still conflicted if her coming up here was a good decision at all.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to save Peter, she did— desperately. She still can’t wrap her head around the idea that Peter was dead , much less that he was Spider-Man.
But all of this could be for nothing or could end up setting off a ripple effect that would make everything worse than it had been before.
If Morgan was to be believed - and if anyone would know about time travel, it would arguably be the daughter of the man who did it himself, regardless of her age - saving Peter would just branch out a new timeline.
Michelle doesn’t know if that would do anything for this one but she does know this, the decision made as soon as she woke up this morning and took a sick day from work.
Michelle doesn’t know if changing the timeline will have any effect on her own. But if there’s any chance that a Peter somewhere will be saved, that a MJ somewhere will get to finally meet him— Michelle knew she couldn’t be the one to stop it.
That’s the mantra that she runs over and over in her head as she pulls into the private road that will take her to the lake house. The house looks large over her, just as it had that first day she wrote back to Peter - the snow on the ground all around her feeling almost magical for how much it looked as if time stood still.
Stop that , Michelle chastises herself, trying and failing to shove away the anxiety and the fear churning around in her gut that all of this was for nothing. She grabs a pen and the same notebook her mother got her for Christmas, a half-assed attempt for good luck that Michelle didn’t even believe in but did anyway.
She pushes the door open and slams it shut, heart leaping up into her throat when she sees that the mailbox has the little red flag standing straight up.
Michelle crosses the distance, forcing her hand to be calm when she opens the mailbox — only to gasp when she sees the sheer amount of letters in there.
“He went up to the lake house all the time,” Morgan had said, a pang running through her at the realization that while Peter eventually listened to her request and didn’t seek her out in real time through Harry or Happy or whoever else— that he hadn’t stopped writing to her in the hopes that she would change her mind.
It takes her breath away now, the full realization settling over her that these are the letters of a dead man. Michelle forces herself to focus, delicately taking the letters out.
There’s no real sense of urgency, Peter’s dead. Writing to him now in the hopes that he’ll still check the mailbox in January 2034, a few months before she and Harry would stay there for her spring break, will arguably branch off a new timeline somewhere and she’ll have all the time in the world to read his letters.
But Michelle can’t help herself with the first few, swallowing down the lump in her throat as she scans over his words.
MJ, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. Please write back. Please don’t give up on me.
I know I hurt you. I do that a lot it seems, with the people I love. But I promise I’ll make it up to you. Please give me another chance.
Writing to you has made my year. I don’t know why I messed this up for us, bad luck I guess. But I won’t give up on us, MJ. I won’t give up on you.
There’s so much more but she doesn’t read it just yet, using this reminder that a Peter somewhere deserved to be saved as she shoves the letter under her arm and opens her notebook — quickly scrawling out a message she can only hope gets delivered.
Peter,
I know why you didn’t show up to meet me at Il Mare on Halloween.
You didn’t because you’re Spider-Man… and Spider-Man died on February 14th, 2035.
I know we said we wouldn’t share about the future and I’m not even sure if this will work, but Peter please— you have to promise me.
Do not be alone on Valentine’s Day. Or any day. Don’t be reckless. You had so many people there to help you but you rushed forward to fix something you never should’ve alone
I saw you die, Peter. And I didn’t know until yesterday that it was you .
Please be safe. Please… wait for me. I’m here at the lake house, right now. 11:06am on January 26th, 2036.
If you can read this, please. Don’t be alone. Don’t be reckless.
Stay alive, Peter. Please.
Michelle carefully tears the paper from the journal, folding it up and shoving it into the mailbox before bringing the little flag down.
She waits for a moment, only to let out a choked off laugh at how silly it is to expect him to read it right now— looking up at the house once more.
Please , she whispers to no one in particular before closing her eyes - snow gently starting to fall all around her when she opens them back up again.
She takes a deep breath, staring at the mailbox for a beat until she gasps— the little red flag standing right back up.
Michelle immediately feels tears in her eyes, letting out another laugh as clutches the letters to her chest.
Her Peter was still dead but this could only mean it worked, that a Peter somewhere was still alive would get to be saved and that maybe, a MJ would get to finally meet him.
She turns away from the mailbox then, a weight lifted off from her shoulders as she walks back to her car— finally letting the sorrow move back in at the reality that while Peter might be alive somewhere, all she’ll ever have left of him are the letters in her arms.
She doesn’t know how she’s going to explain this to Morgan, opening the door and moving to get in when she hears it - the sound of gravel as someone pulls into the driveway.
Michelle freezes, staring in confusion and then in shock when the beat up car rolls up - heart pounding in her ears when the driver shuts the engine off and opens the door.
She lets out a sharp exhale, gently laying the letters she still has on the driver’s seat - something that should be impossible now because of who she sees - staring straight at a man who looks at her with an earnest expression on his face.
“Hey MJ,” he says, warm brown eyes searching her face as he takes a step forward.
“Is— how is— are you—“
“It’s Peter,” he says with a smile on his face, Michelle’s eyes widening in shock as he continues, “I got your letter.”
Michelle takes a step forward, snow still gently falling all around them as she shakes her head.
“I don’t understand. I— you can’t change the past, right? How— how are you here ?”
"You wrote to me in 2034, telling me what was going to happen,” he says. “I uh, I finally talked to Doctor Strange about it. He’s a wizard, knows a lot more about this time travel stuff than me but…” Peter trails off, staring at Michelle in amazement.
“I listened.”
“But I don’t understand,” Michelle says, “were you alive this whole time? Did I-- is this another dimension now? Are you from another dimension?”
Peter laughs, Michelle’s heart jumping at the sound. Peter takes another tentative step forward, eyes still constantly searching her face as he says, “I know it’s a lot to handle and Doctor Strange can explain it a lot better than I can. We’re supposed to go over there now so he can but,” he takes another step forward, until he’s standing right in front of Michelle as she stares into his eyes.
“I’m real . I’m here,” Peter says, his eyes softening as he looks on at her, “And I’m so glad that you’re here too.”
Michelle doesn’t miss the inflection in his voice, just as she doesn’t miss the way he’s looking at her-- Michelle’s heart pounding in her chest as she lets herself think that this might actually be real.
She reaches a hand out, Peter waiting patiently as she gently puts a hand to his cheek - searching his face before it finally hits her.
“You’re here,” she whispers, Peter’s smile growing wider.
“I’m here,” he whispers back, Michelle closing the distance between them by surging forward - pulling him into a kiss. Peter immediately leans into it, Michelle gasping with the intensity of it as he pulls her flush against him, his hands moving from gently bracing at her arms to wrapping around her waist -- pulling her even closer to him.
It’s a kiss that leaves her breathless, all-consuming and yet painfully familiar in a way that it shouldn’t. Yet Michelle can’t think of anything else but how Peter’s lips taste against hers, of the warmth of his body heat and of the hope that she feels blossoming in her chest at the chance that this was very, very real.
When they finally part, Michelle laughs as she rests her forehead against his.
“Why do I feel like we’ve done that before?” She asks, hearing Peter’s laugh as she leans her head back and looks back into his eyes.
“Doctor Strange will--”
“Explain it, yeah,” Michelle finishes, shaking her head again as she lets the reality of who is in front of her truly sink in.
“I don’t even know your last name,” she says with a laugh, Peter’s grin turning into full-throated laughter.
“Yeah, I-- you wouldn’t huh? Well,” he brings a hand to her cheek, thumb gently grazing over it as he says, “Hi. I’m Peter Parker.”
“Hi Peter Parker,” Michelle says with a grin, “I’m Michelle. But my friends call me MJ.”
“Are we just friends?” Peter whispers, Michelle leaning forward and whispering against his lips, “I hope not.”
She still has letters in her front seat of a Peter who was no longer there, or maybe he was-- Michelle fully recognizing that there was so much more of time travel that she didn’t understand.
She can’t help but wonder from the look on his face if maybe she had magically replaced another Michelle, if writing to Peter had shifted her world or the universe-- wondering now if she knew Morgan though if how Peter looked at her was any indication, maybe she did but in an entirely different capacity.
What she did or didn’t know, what world she was going to find herself in - all of that melted away in the moment as she pulled Peter into another kiss.
She’ll have to learn all about what exactly Doctor Strange would say when they went back into the city, curious more than ever to find out what exactly she missed.
But for now she let herself be swept up in the fantasy of the moment, of Peter’s lips warm and soft against hers and the hope that maybe, there was some magic left in the universe after all.