Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I was always alone. 

My father and mother abandoned me when I was still a child. Keep calling me a disgrace, a failure. An akuma was the most hurtful name that they called me. I was always beaten by my father who blames me for why my mother died. He says that I should be the one who was supposed to die and not her. Because of the repeated names, other children would not want to play with me, and parents of other children forbade them not to go near me. 

It was disheartening because others have already labeled me as a person who is supposed to do evil without even clarifying to the actual person himself. Almost all of my hakama are destroyed and were full of holes that I have received from my father’s beatings. I didn’t understand as to why father beat me up and assumed this was a parent’s way of love and affection so I endured his endless beatings, punches in the gut whenever he goes home after working in the police office. My father is a police officer who is still allowed to use swords as their weapons before the sudden influence of the Americans came and localized some parts of my beloved home. At first, I was worried because there is a possibility that the Americans would treat us as their slaves. Which they did, after months and months of being their slaves, they’ve introduced inventions: machines, cars, guns, and all those types of foreign machinery which were very foreign in our eyes but the government decided to agree and accept the changes. 

Little did we know that we were already being colonized. 

That being the case, my father dragged me to the nearest shrine in hopes that I would be cleansed. Hahaha. This was the part where I should be scared and protest but I’ve endured way worse than what the Shinto priests would do to me. The special shrine where I’ve been taken; Hyakuya Shrine, a shrine wherein the Shinto priests and priestesses are familiar and their expertise is demonology. Since I was labeled as one, the Hiiragi family adopted me to their shrine to become one of the shinsoku.

Being abandoned by my father here, I had nowhere else to go so I became one of the employers of the Hiiragis. 

My first experience in becoming a shinsoku of the Hyakuya shrine was worse. 

I’ve met other children who have been abandoned and labeled as demons by their own parents. Every day, we were required to bathe in the waterfall behind the shrine. They say it was the first thing that can make the demons in our bodies weaken their powers inside ours, as the Miko priestess prepare and cleanse our body and souls. We were whipped, forced to eat different kinds of medicinal herbs mixed with “special blessings” from the Gods. It was awful, disgusting because the Hiiragis was forceful: if they saw a child did not take the medicine, they would whip or lock them in the small shrine. Different kinds of sutras and incantations were performed in our bodies. I was one of their hardest cases - saying that the demon inside me has a stronghold of my body.

My body couldn’t take any more. Cuts, bruises, and purple blemishes were visible on my body. Repeating the process over and over again. As much as I wanted to give up, my body won’t, and that was the time where I realized that maybe my parents were right about me being a spawn of a demon. 

A year has passed since then, I was still alive. Almost half of the children in the Hyakuya Shrine were already dead due to the weakened body. I could only count on my fingers the other children who have endured and lived up until now: Yoichi, Kimizuki, Mitsuba, Narumi, Shuusaku, Akane, and Rina. Three boys and four girls. We were the last and remaining shinsokus because the Hyakuya Shrine was on the verge of extinction. We, as what the Hiiragi call us, the " remainings'' are the final batch of ‘tainted children’ whom they have told us that are “completely cleansed”. I was not sure if this was a bad thing or not but I was only in high spirits because I can finally leave this forsaken shrine and live the way that I want without being labeled as a demon. 

“I’m so happy that we are almost done with the cleansing of the soul. I could finally go home and be reunited with my onee-san. ” says the brunette-haired, Yoichi. Out of the group, he was dragged here by his sister because he was scared about being judged. Well, everyone has different stories. The sakura hue of a hair which goes by the name of Kimizuki left his home by his own cognition and will. He was a very rude guy at first and wouldn’t open up with anybody but I managed to do so after having a small feud with him. 

He wasn’t a bad guy seeing that he as well as suffering from demon possession and did not want to harm his only family; his little sister who is sicklily disabled to do anything was his only ‘saving grace’. He heard about the soul-cleansing shrine of the Hiiragis that he had put himself on the line and goes willing to be cleansed. He was brave to go and endure something like that for his family. 

I can’t do the same since there is no one who is waiting for me. 

I am alone in this forsaken and abandoned world. 

No one recognizes me. 

“The final cleansing of your souls will be held tonight. Get a good rest and eat whatever your heart’s desires.”  The head priestess told the remaining shinsokus. The Hiiragi priestesses had in their hands a tray of different foods and flavors. There was sake as well that tainted children’s mouth started watering with drool. Excited for the exquisite and wonderful meal. First, if I was honest but nevertheless, a feast! When was the last time had I eaten something good? I thought. Each tray has been placed neatly over the tatami boards. My fellow shinsokus waited for the priestesses to leave the room after carefully putting all the food. When they were gone, all of us helped ourselves to our last meal. 

"Itadakimasu!" And enjoyed we did. 

Narumi and Shuusaku were the first who gobbled the food, Yoichi being the sane one and grabbed what he could grab with his petite fingers, Kimizuki copied and took a bite in every food placed on the table. It was delicious. So so delicious that I could finish a pot full of green leaves and fish. I really didn’t think much about the reason as to why they've been generous enough to give us such a blessing until that night….

That night where I didn’t think that I would believe such a cruel thing can be done with the hands of human beings like us. Never did I believe that they could do something so sinister like this… 

After finishing our food, the head of the Hiiragi priestess called and ordered us to follow him. We didn’t have a choice as we were ‘tainted children’. Narumi and Shuusaku were the ones who lead us since they were the oldest in our group. We were also required to wear clean white hakama ready-made by the higher-ups. As we followed them, we were directed outside of the shrine where the red torii gate was visible. On the top of the gate were ropes hang.

We all stopped on our feet. Yoichi’s face showed fear. Mitsuba was disgusted, hiding her disgust by covering her mouth. Narumi and Shuusaku were the ones who spoke up. “What is the meaning of this?!” said an angry Shuusaku. Narumi was clenching his fist. Angry at the head priest of the shrine. I can’t even fathom why they would show us this but I have a hunch on what they want them to do to us. 

The head priest; Hiiragi Kureto intervened. “We did not let you speak for yourself, demons. You wished to be cleansed, am I not wrong?” there was no empathy in his words. He has authority because he is a Hiiragi. Shuusaku growled. He replied with malice. “We were informed that if we performed the rites and be cleanse then our families would now accept us and will not call us ‘spawns of demons’!” 

“If you think for a second that being tortured tremendously by priests is something normal then you are highly mistaken. I just want my title to be revoked.” Mistusba added, her tears forming in her eyes. I could sympathize with her reasons. Yoichi cried as well saying that he was only doing this just so he couldn’t infect his onee-san from his curse. Kimizuki also didn’t say anything but the face he’s expressing. He is already pissed and angry, that much is true. 

A few hours…..

Slash!

“Gaah!!!!” 

Slash!

“Stoooop!!!” 

“Please! I can’t do this anymore.” 

Slash!

“Aghhhhhh!!!!! Iiyada!!! Onegai!!!” 

Slash! Slash! Slash! 

“Stop this!!! Please!!! My body can’t do this anymore.”

Whippings came nonstop from the priestesses. I was tied -- no we were forced to be hanged in the torii gate while a group of Hiiragi priestesses’ in line were chanting sutras and charms and the continuous chants of Japanese spells in exorcising demons. Our hakamas were ruined - from white to red. Our backs have gone swollen red and gashes from the whips were visible. “Kami! Witness these people who are tainted with demons inside their bodies. Please, let us help these ungrateful humans to cleanse their bodies.” screamed the head priestess. Still tied in the air, the most pitiful state in our group was Mitsuba, the only girl. Her psychique body couldn’t take any more whippings. Writing in pain, she screamed “Yamero!!!” so many times, our ears were ringing with her voice. 

She was helpless and we couldn’t even do anything for her. Yoichi was crying, and couldn’t even look at Mitsuba’s direction. Slash! Slash! “Onegai!!!” she begged the priestess to stop. “I can’t take another whip! One...gai…” tears formed in her hands.

“Nonsense!” said the head priestess. I finally knew his name; Hiiragi Kureto. His whip already combined with our blood raised his whip and started, yet again. “We will not stop until there is a little bit of demon essence inside of your body.”

Slash! “Gaaah!!!” Slash! Slash! “No...more…” she mumbled. I couldn’t do anything. We were in the same situation. I can’t do anything to help her. I can’t even escape and save my own skin. Head priest Kureto ordered the shinsokus to chant more, their voices louder. Chanting even louder would do the trick and make the demons begone. 

I don’t understand the mechanics as to how the demons will banish by chanting incoherent and weird spells. I sometimes asked myself, but maybe it is in our tradition then.  

Whip!!! 

Slash!!!

“Aghhh!!!!” I screamed yet again, I could feel the redness and swelling of my back due to the continuous whips made by the shinsokus. Trying to gain consciousness, I gazed upon my fellow sinners and saw them passed out already. Their eyes closed but still breathing, their chest moving but almost faint. I grit my teeth. I didn’t think that this is the kind of fate that I would be getting. I mean—

“Halt!!! Stop what you are doing to these children right now, Hiiragis!” someone shouted. I was too exhausted and weak to check on who was the owner of the voice, only my ears were sane enough to hear all the commotion. Feets running everywhere can be heard, I even heard the shinsokus scream and panic visible from their tones. Whatever it was, they were causing an uproar that even the Hiiragis was not prepared. 

“Get towards the children! Untie them right now.” 

“Go-gomen kudasai, minna. These children… I apologized. I am so sorry that we had to hide this from the government. I am also a Hiiragi and I want to suffer for the cause that my family has done. These poor children.”

“This is not your fault, Shinya. Get a grip on yourself. If you and your sister Shinoa did not confess, we would have been too late. And this practice would continue until the next generation.” 

“But Guren, I—"

“I do not care about your family. The important thing is that you spoke the truth to seek out the atrocious crimes of the Hiiragi Shrine. I will assure you that you and your sister shall be put safely and no harm shall be done upon the two of you. The same goes for these remaining children.” 

“But what if we were too—"

“Do not finish that sentence. They are alive.” 

“Sir! All of these children are alive, but this girl is weak, her breathing is getting slower and slower.”

“This boy as well, no, everyone’s breathing is slowing down.”

“Guren please!”

“I want everyone to take the children to the nearest hospital and tend their injuries. Do not let them stop breathing or you will be the one who does!”

“Hai!!!”

I do not know how many days have passed since I felt unconscious but I could determine that it has been a ‘very long’ time because I could feel my stomach growling like crazy and wanting to devour whatever food that would be set on top of me, I will not complain even if it is spoilt and raw. Slowly opening my eyes, I tried to decipher my surrounding. It was too dark to see anything nor assume what place have I gotten myself into. Until I could hear the tack of something solid from outside and…

Running water….

“Ahhh– gyaaahhh!!!” I say forcing myself to get up but the pain from my back worsens. White bandages covered my entire body, there was also one from my head. Touching it, it felt too surreal and fresh. “I see you’re finally awake.” Said the voice whom I remember from back then. Startled, I went to see and look at the owner and found a man (he is much younger than my father is) with raven-unruly hair just like mine. He had a purple-hilt sword tied on his waist.

“You’re a soldier.” I said. Said the man, grinned not amused at the much obvious statement. “If you can tell funny phrases, then I guess your wounds are alright now.” He replied, his expression didn’t falter. The mysterious man got up and walked towards my futon leaning closer. “Hey…” sounding irritated as he overstepped his boundaries and raised my eyebrows: “Old man, you’re too close.” Trying to push him away from my personal space. It was… new yet irritating experience. 

My parents have never been this close to me, and I prefer it to be that way. The man was ticked-off but nevertheless, didn’t push himself. Thank goodness. Instead, he unsheathed his sword. Seeing it up close was amazing. It was a double-edged blade sword and there were also tiny carvings (writing?) in its edges. It was too tiny to decipher but there was a fact that maybe it has some incantation spells in it. 

If you look at it, samurais were already extinct in this era. Neither of them was alive or some were forbidden to use swords. After the influence of America in Japan, the Japanese government thought and banned samurais and people who walk around freely with a sword in their waist. Says that this was a new era and deadly weapons, like swords, are not needed anymore. Too much commercialization has happened. Buildings changed, foreign foods from different countries are now everywhere;   the introduction of what the American’s called “technology” was also present. It was as if the “Japan” that I had been born with has been rebranded and that, this ‘Japan’ is not the ‘Japan’ that every Nihonjin person once knew. 

A country that has been stripped off from its own identity.

I shake my head, I should be a little happier for the ban of deadly weapons in the country but I couldn’t. And somehow, seeing Guren-san with a sword on his military uniform has relieved me from the pressure that there are still people who are willing to fight the government. Believe me, it isn’t wrong for a little change but a full one… It is….disturbing. “ Mahiru-no-Yo ,” Guren spoke out of the blue. I couldn’t understand him until he touched the hilt of the sword, “Mahiru-no-Yo. It’s the name of this sword.” Guren spoke to the weapon as if it was alive. I wanted to ask but stopped myself from doing it. I should not pry into other people’s business. Fixing myself, my body still aches from the painful whipping I got from the Hiiragi Mikos. It would take a while for me to recover into full health.

I face Guren, my head held high as I stare into his amethyst orbs. They were old, telling me that he has experienced a lot of painful memories. I bowed for respect and gratitude for tending my injuries and helping my fellow shinsokus. I would ever be grateful to him for saving my life and my friends. 

I may not show it, but I acknowledge all my fellow shinsokus as ‘family’. They have taught me the feeling of being together, sharing the pain together, eating together. I have only experienced it because of them and I would do anything for them to be safe. “I am grateful for you and your men for saving us. If there is anything that you would like me to become then I shall become whatever that may be.” I said. I wanted to repay the kindness Guren-san has given me. I would like him to rely on me and become his strength. 

Quiet. It wasn’t long before I heard a sigh. It must be coming from him. He asked to stop bowing my head and to look at him in the eye. I did what he asked. His eyes were serious. One could not tell what's running in his mind. A few minutes, he grabbed something from the inside of his military uniform. It was a white paper folded into two and gave the piece of paper to me. I didn’t know what he wanted me to do. 

Should I stare at it? It wasn’t long before he ordered me to read the contents. With shaky hands, I reached for the parchment and read what was inside. 

Ichinose Guren

105th Lieutenant General of Nagoya

Amane Yuuchirou, age 14, an official resident of Nagoya, Nihon. Amane Kaoru, age 28, Amane Yuuichirou’s father has reported and has given permission to officially exiled the child out of Nihon. The child; Amane Yuuichiro is to be deported into the country called “Filipinas”.

Should the child resist, the Lieutenant General has been granted authority to use any means necessary for the child to be gone.

Dead or Alive. 

Amane Yuuichirou must leave Nihon after the 31st of January. 

Signed,  

Hiiragi Tenri 

20th Emperor of Japan

I stared at the parchment. Guren wasn’t even paying attention but I know his eyes were looking at me with worry. I was being exiled. And my own father was the one who issued. “Hahaha.” I bluffed, I knew that since the beginning that I was born, my mother and father did not love me. I did not want to believe it and pretended to close my mind with that thought until the day my mother committed seppuku, making my father disgust me even more. Saying that I was supposed to be the one to die and not my mother. That was the first time my father had called me “spawn of the demon”. I didn’t know the word at first until I went to the Hyakuya Shrine. 

“Guren-san....” I stared at him, clutching the parchment. I know that it was an official paper that the Emperor himself has signed with an official order that I should leave Nihon. As much as I do not want to go. “Do I even have the right to refuse?” I say, a little laugh coming from my throat. I didn’t want to admit but leaving the country, leaving the homeland where I have been born, raised, and lived for many years.

Pain constricted in my chest, causing my entire being to froze. 

I pray, pray to the Kamis that this was only a nightmare. That Guren-san was only bluffing, that the letter that I received and read was a figment of my imagination. 

I didn’t want to believe it.

I don’t want to believe it. 

Please…

Kami…

Please tell me that this isn’t true!!!!

Pak!!! 

“Huh?” Opening my eyes. Guren’s hand was gently caressing my head. His repeating notion of his hands was making my emotions and the pain that I feel in my chest ease. “You can cry all you want. No one is going to judge you. Cry. Cry with everything you have. Don’t think about the letter. Just speak what’s on your mind. I’ll listen.” 

Just speak….

At that phrase, I couldn’t help but let my emotions run. Tears are now flowing in my eyes. I grasped at Guren-san’s shirt. Burying my head into his. I regretted everything as to why I agree into coming to the Hiiragi Shrine. Why did I agree about the cleansing and that I would gain my father's love? I was a fool for thinking that once I have been freed from the evil spirits, my father would learn to love and cherish me. I guess that’s only a dream that will never happen. 

“Why?!” I said, gasping and clutching the cloth very hard not even bothering if the cloth would rip. “Why doesn’t my father love me? Why did my mother have to die and blame me for her death? I didn’t wish for my mother to die! I just wanted to be loved! Why would my father allow the government to exile me to another country?! 

Did I not do anything right? Was my existence truly a mistake? Why do they call me a 'demon spawn'? I have always obeyed everything that the adults have asked me. Yet…

Yet… Nande? Nande?” I cried and cried to Guren-san. Showing emotions was a form of weakness but I’ve never felt weak when I was crying. I could not remember how or when I'd stopped myself from crying but I felt a warm sensation and lullaby saying "It's alright. You did your best. Just go to sleep."

I woke up with dark ceilings, the smell of the ocean coming outside, I slowly got up touching my head. I must have slept well and did not notice someone moved me. Checking my surroundings, this was not Guren-san's place. 

It was pitch black, nothing could make me see anything except the sounds of water splashing. Then I felt something beside me. I couldn’t see but I felt something hard. Grabbing it, the object was very long and tried to feel and touch in hopes to uncover what it was until I touched a familiar circular thing with a texture of patterns, it can be held. It felt like a–

“Like a sword.” I mumbled, slowly unsheathing. Slowly, I noted the silver color of the blade. The only illuminance coming from the small panel was the moon’s light. The mirrored image of myself reflecting upon the blade’s edge. But why would someone give a weapon to me? I tried to get up to check the room. The small window was too high. Luckily, I managed to feel boxes beside me and started to pile them up until I reached the window's view. Outside can be seen a dark sky with stars covering it. The waves of the sea splashing into what I assume to be is a ship. 

I was inside of a ship. Using only the small light of the moon, I maneuvered myself towards the doorway. But then felt a scrunched from the bottom. I grabbed it and found a note. The script was in katakana, addressed to my name.

Hyakuya Yuuichirou,

After your wailing episode. I decided to put you in the shipping vessel where you will be deported; the Filipinas. It’s a small country that is being invaded by the Spaniards. Should the guards or any officials ask your permission, show the sword that’s beside you. There’s an attached insignia wrapped around its sheath. Show it to the officials and you’ll be fine. It’s a sign of your acceptance in their country as a “special” case so you can roam around their country however you see fit. Make sure to never use “Mahiru” with ill intentions. I did not give you that weapon for such reasons. You are NIPPON. You should be able to learn the ways of the samurai. Use it ‘only’ in times of need.

After your sentence has been lightened up, I promise I will take you back to Nihon and will raise you as if you are my own child. I will use all my power to make sure your sentence is pardoned. Hiiragi Shinya is also willing to help so do not worry. 

I promise. I will bring you back here and we will be a family. Consider that sword a keepsake of our promise. You should not let that sword be out of your sight. 

Also, there would be someone out there once you’ve got out of the ship who will take care of you. Do not worry, he knows me and is a great friend. His name is “Rizal”. I’ve already told him about your departure and will fetch you at the Pier. 

Signed,

Ichinose Guren

105th Lieutenant General of Nagoya

“Baka.” I muttered, tears flowing in my eyes. The weapon clutches tightly in my small fist. There was a string attached to it that I decided to wrap the blade into my hips. Never let it out of my sight. The promise of Ichinose-san that he would do whatever it takes to pardon my sins and get me back home from Nihon. The promise I will forever cling into my heart and hope for the day that will come. 

Guren will come. 

He will save me.

Until then, I have to learn the ways as to how to live my life here in this land. 

The bang of the steel door startled me as a male appeared. His attire has the vibe that he’s from the military. His features pale, tall and his nose different from mine. He must be a foreign as well, a ‘Spaniard’, Yuuichirou presumes. His black boots echoed within the floors. His clothes were well fitted and not a single crease visible. “Get up, prisoner. We are asked by your benefactor not to hurt you so we will. Get up and get out of this room. The ship is docking so you should be leaving as well. Hurry along now.” said the guard in a language I am absolutely sure that I do not know nor have I heard in my entire life as he pushes me forward into the doorframe.

It was the first time since I woke up that I’ve seen the sun again and what amazes me more was the view. The ship’s pier was beautiful. The water was crystal clear, a flock of birds swaying their wings in the air even though it has a different temperature from Nihon. You can feel the humid heat of the air. The military man kept pushing me and directed me to the exit of the ship. At Guren’s request. I showed them the weapon and nodded; “Welcome to Filipinas, young Japanese.” he said. Handing back the weapon to my hands. 

Catching up with myself, the land is foreign and different. People wore different clothing than what my people wear, even their features and complexions were a little different. A mix of brown but not too dark nor too light. Just… normal. The land is different from Nihon. It was nerve-wracking and I am honest that I was kinda scared. I tried to scan around as to how could I communicate with people here. Grabbing the note, I read the contents again, just to be sure what would be my next step. “Guren-san said that there would be someone who will get me and take care of me. I wonder how could I even find him?” I mumbled, skimming through the pier port. There were so many people I do not know, much less as to how can I even talk to them.

“Bili na kayo mga suki!”

“Magkano ang isang manok?” 

“Sais centavos lang, Ginoo” 

“Senyora! Senyora! Bumili na po kayo nito sombrero na ito. Bagay po ito sa suot niyo pong damit.” 

“Talaga bang babagay ang pipitsugin palamuti na ito sa aking ulo?” 

“Nako po hindi po kayo magsisi. Magkakandarapa ang mga Ginoo kapag sinuot niyo po ito. Magkakaroon po kayo ng maraming-maraming manliligaw.” 

“Hmmphh… Bolerang Indio, pero dahil napakagaling mong mang-engganyo, sige. Esperanza, bilhin mo nga yan sa bata ang tinitinda niyang palamuti sa buhok.” 

“Masusunod po, Senyora.”  

“Maraming, maraming salamat po, Senyora! Mag-iingat po kayo.” 

“This is….” I said. Too stunned and nervous. Being in another country is...scary. There’s no one here on whom I can rely on. No one to talk to. 

How does Guren think that I could survive in this country if communicating was already the thing that I lack? 

Stepping back, I hit a hardback and turned to see a man with the same complexion as the townspeople. His black hair slicked into perfection hiding his ears. His eyes were black but didn't have the evil intent from what I’ve seen from the other local people. He was wearing white rolled-up shirt and suspenders (the other one almost sliding on him) and black slacks. I assumed he was an “aristocrat” here judging from his way of clothing, or someone professional. 

“Ah...eto...Ore wa…”

“Nihonggo?” he said. Did I just hear that right? My head lifted. He knows Nihonggo! He knows my language! My mind screaming in my head. “H-hai!! Nihonggo desu. Ano.. Ore wa… R-ri-z-za-rru??” I asked. I wasn’t sure if he was the man that Guren was talking but I was hoping he was. Guren did not include how the man, Rizal would look like. A fault in his case. The man nodded: a gesture of the Japanese for saying “Yes.” My knees went weak, overwhelmed about the development. Rizal laughed helping me to stand on my knees. 

“My apologies in being tardy. Yes, I am Rizal. And you must be what Guren-san has mentioned in his letter. Hyakuya Yuuichirou, I presume?” I nodded. He was...kind and his aura can be felt that he means no harm. 

That he can be trusted. 

Rizal-san smiled at me and extended his brown-colored skin at me. His entire being was attracting me to reach out to him. I did. Slowly. 

“Irasshaimase, Yuuchirou-kun. Welcome to the Pearl of the Orient Sea; Filipinas.”

Filipinas is a very VERY strange country but nevertheless one that always smiles. 

Rizal-san has informed me about the nature of their homeland: A land where only rainy and summer occurs, the tropical sceneries are astounding to gaze. The wide grasslands that farmers and animals lived in. They have bigger lands and farmers work faster than in my homeland. 

I never knew that people loved and knew Rizal-san so well. Even the aristocrats of the foreign lands often visit his home for a check-up or a consultation. He was also a professional doctor, this was news to me since Guren-san did not mention it in his letter. But on top of it all, he also teaches young children to read and write. 

He was amazing. Rizal-san is really amazing.

It’s been two months since I’ve been in the care of Rizal and so far, I have learned so many chores like making fire using bamboo shoots, cooking the rice using the ‘palayok’ and to be honest, I was always been scolded by RIzal-san because “Tutong na naman ang kanin”. But it was a fun and challenging experience. I’ve also learned some bits about the country’s language, just a little when I was asked by the doctor to fetch some of his medical supplies from his room. 

I could only gaze and wonder about the different apparatus the doctor has in his room dubbed “clinic”. So many glass containers everywhere, scissors, sharp objects, threads and white fluff but soft-kinda ball (Rizal taught me that it was called a ‘cotton’ and its use was to damp and wipe any blood or liquid the patient had in its body). The clinic or  Rizal-san’s consultation hours has a schedule that villagers and fellow aristocrats follow. It would begin every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 9 in the morning up until 4 in the afternoon. Tuesdays and Thursdays are the doctor’s schedule for teaching outside the city. A remote place where it is scorching hot and away from civilization. 

Doctor Rizal has graced me to help him with the teachings, asking me to carry his materials: books, papers, pencils, chalks, etc. for his teaching lessons. I nodded and put them carefully in his suitcase making sure that they were safely secured and organized. As we headed for the door, the doctor had asked me a very funny question. 

“Would you like to become a teacher, Yuuichirou?” he asked with sarcasm but I do not know if he was serious or not. “Eehh??” I responded. The doctor laughed repeating the same question. Me? A sensei? There was never in my entire life nor even when I was living in Nihon that someone would ask me to become a teacher. I replied to him “Why?” . 

The doctor was asking for his suitcase, I obeyed and we locked eyes for minutes (?) maybe longer, I could not tell but I am sure that my knees were shaking from the tension both of us were making. “Well,” Rizal said putting the suitcase on the ground. A finger holding his chin like he was in deep thought. “You see, I would really love a successor one day. Teaching my fellow countrymen is something that I must do. No, it is not to gain any profit or anything, it’s to make my fellow people understand what is happening in our ‘Lupang Sinilangan’. 

The Spaniards treat us like ‘slaves’. Its only purpose is to serve those who are in the upper class. I want them to treat us equally. I wish the Spaniards would treat me, my fellow Filipinos, as their equal and that is why,” he grabbed something out of his pants pocket. It was a small black notebook but the cover had silver writing inked with Spanish words. 

I tried my best to decipher and read what seems to be the title of the book. “No..ri..me...Tang...e..re. Doktor Rizal, ano po ang ibig sabihin niyan?” I say with curiosity. I confessed that I am still a little hazy about my Spanish fluency and I have no idea what's the meaning of the word. I remembered when I was learning Spanish and Filipino words for the first time, I got them scrambled and mixed it up with each other. There was a time when a mother and child patient who sought the doctor's prescription of medicine when I accidentally spoke ‘putangina’ instead of ‘medisina’. The two Filipino gasped at me, saying that it was rude and bad to call someone like that. Especially in front of a child. 

The doctor heard it as well and I was scolded for the first time. Now I understand that ‘putangina’ was a bad word that is not to be spoken out loud in public. My face was the color of a ripe tomato out of embarrassment and shame. 

I promised myself that I will pursue and learn the two languages without ever mixing them. 

Ever. Again. 

A year and a half have passed and my proficiency in the Filipino and Spanish languages has improved a lot. By a lot, I mean A LOT. I know now how to use proper pronunciation, diction, and words appropriate to the person I'm communicating with. My reading of books helped as well to understand the mother tongue and the culture of the country.

It was very similar to Nipon though we only have different types of what it was called and the gestures but other than that, it was very similar to home. I was also amazed at how many dialects the Filipinas have. Each province has its own languages like Ilokano, Pampangueno, Batangueno, etc. There were also wonderful stories and cultures that I almost fell on the study chair when I read them. Can you believe that they also have gods and goddesses? Apparently, they do and some of them, they worship them for a good farm harvest, prayer to send the dead in peace, there’s even a god of rainbows, imagine that. 

I also tend to the doctor’s needs and help them with basic needs since I cannot understand medical terms, you could say that I am the doctor Rizal’s “errand boy” who tends and bandages up wounds which the doctor says was fine because he wants me to be more professional in teaching the children. 

I would never deny that what we were doing is dangerous. Especially when our lives are on the line. The Spaniards are still keeping an eyeful watch at the doctor’s movements ever since he came back from Germany after successfully publishing the first book of his novel; Noli me Tangere or “Touch Me Not” in its English translation.  

The doctor has given me the first draft of the novel while he was still writing and asked me for my opinion. I cannot deny that it was dangerous and utterly truthful the wordings about how the Spaniards have been treating the Filipinos. I was scared for the doctor's safety but assured me that he will never let me get involved in his revolution. I shake my head. I wanted to help him as much as possible with his revolution but at the same time, it could endanger me and I could never go back to Nihon ever again. 

I would break Guren-san’s promise. 

I don’t want that and yet the people… 

In this country and the Spaniards’ mistreatment, I could not just stand still and do nothing. Even though it's not my home country I would love to save it as much as possible. Filipinas has been the second home of mine and I would never let foreign conquerors do whatever they please.

“Yuuichirou?” said the doctor. Confused, I clutched my chest, wrinkling the shirt I'm wearing. With determination and fire in my eyes, I declare that I will help him in achieving his goals. I will be his “accomplice” in this revolution. “I swear,” I replied.

I would never let this country be in ruins. 

“I will keep your secrets, I'll even become a messenger for the Katipuneros if I must. Just…” dropping my head down as the memories of the experiences from past captors flooded my mind, breaking my focus in whatever that I wanted to tell. 

No!!! 

I must not. I promised my fellow shinsokus that I will be strong. 

I will not break. 

Yuuichirou focus! 

“I will fight. This country has accepted a foreigner like me, with open arms and treated me as a human being that I have never experienced in my past. I will fight for your freedom. I am Amane Yuuichirou, a proud citizen of Las Islas de Filipinas and I will protect my country even if it means sacrificing my life.” 

My life changed from being a teacher apprentice to one of the filibusteros and became a messenger to the revolutionary groups like the KKK, Magdalo, Magdiwang, etc. All of them were asking and seeking the doctor’s guidance and his brains to lead them to the freedom that they all wanted from Spain. I give them money (the doctor's profit from his medicine practices), some coming from his supporters from the other country and others came from his fellow Filipinos who gave their small blessings, hard-earn money for their fellow countrymen. 

Doctor Rizal knew that a revolution was still fruitless for them and that he asked me and tell the revolutionaries that they should wait a little longer. He says that “The Filipinos are still weak, we cannot defeat the Spaniards using bolos , itaks , and sibat that have been passed from the older civilization,” looking at the rusty blades that the katipuneros are holding, I knew that the doctor was right. We aren’t powerful nor fully-equipped to fight the Spaniards.

“Guns are more powerful than a sword.” I added. In order for them to stay calm and think through their course of action, their leader; Andres Bonifacio, whom I’ve recognized when the doctor held a feast for the poor and sick, Andres was there and gave some contribution. He was a very brave Indio and not afraid of the Spaniards. 

I admire people like him. 

No lies aside. 

“Paano natin malalaman kung hindi natin susubukan?” Andres replied. He had a point, I answered with the same sentence and told them that I am only a messenger of the doctor and I cannot give orders by my own volition. “Pero wag po kayong mag-alala. Sasabihin ko din sa kanya ang inyong inahing. 

Mga ginoo, ako ay mauuna na at mag-uumpisa pa akong magluto ng hapunan ng doktor. Magandang gabi po." Bowing my head and left the revolutionaries’ hideout. 

It was a long walk and I thought about all the things that transpired. While Bonifacio’s reasonings are correct from a patriotic point of view, I could not deny doctor Rizal’s advice as well. It was really impossible to fight and win the war against the Spaniards with the use of the weapons that the Filipinos have inherited from their ancestors. I admit that swords are powerful but guns are faster and more convenient. Just thinking about that made me realize that I had walked farther away than I should have and missed the doctor’s house. 

“Estupido…” I mumbled to myself retracing my steps back to home. 

“Nandito na po ako.” dragging my aching body upstairs to where the doctor’s chamber is. The lamp was lit. “Doctor?” I asked and saw him reading at his desk, a letter was in his hand. A telegram, perhaps? He nodded saying that it came from Russia. I knew the doctor has been to many countries but I never knew someone would still contact him even though they live in different parts of the world. I didn’t want to intrude and tried to excuse myself but the doctor has figured out my escape halting me to leave the room. He smiled emphasizing the letter. 

“This,” swaying the paper. “A royal friend of mine is asking me a favor if I could take care of her son for a while. It seems that their country is in chaos and wanted her only child to be safe from danger.” 

I never knew the doctor could have friends with royal statuses. They even asked him favors like...taking care of their son? Curiosity got the best of me and asked a stupid question. “Does that mean, you are going to take care of a real baby?” I asked and after a few moments, doctor Rizal sneered a grin. He grabbed my hair and started to ruffle it hair making a mess out of it again. He shook his head in response. Telling me that the ‘child’ is the same age as me.

I sighed in relief not because I was thinking that he was actually going to take care of an actual baby. A toddler in a specific term. I have nothing against little children but it had made me remember a lot of painful and scary things. Especially when I was in Nihon. I remembered how the Hiiragi family had manipulated young children to be guinea pigs for their demonic practices causing my stomach to churn and twist into unhealthy knots while my fellow slaves are resisting the urge not to vomit and be traumatized by those experiences. 

I missed my friends. I do hope they are fine and living freely.

Morning came and I was asked by the doctor to buy some food necessities saying that he will fetch his supposedly “child of his friend” from the Pier. Grabbing the bayong , I left the house and went my way to the market. With the money the doctor left amounting 50 PESOS, I can probably buy a lot of ingredients for tonight's dinner. There was nothing specific that the doctor says our dinner party later on. 

“As long as it's food,” Mumbling to myself. When the first stall vendor startled me if there was anything in particular that I find. “Opo, bibili po sana ako ng...” 

The buying of food errand was exhausting.

I never realized that I could buy a lot. The doctor is pretty popular, even though there are eyes everywhere I look. They must be watching my every move since I am affiliated with doctor Rizal. My bayong was going to explode but thanks to that ginang who bought me another bayong, I am now carrying two bayongs. The doctor’s house was unlit but I could decipher a small light in his chamber. Carefully stepping at the staircase, I walked towards the kitchen and saw that something was covered on the table. Lifting the lid, it was the doctor’s favorite dish; tuyo and kanin. 

As if on cue, my stomach grumbled, and appeared the doctor at the entranceway. “I heard something growling and I wanted to check if a burglar has somehow entered my house but it was only you. That’s your portion of food, Yuuichirou. My guest is already here in the empty room beside yours. 

He is probably resting. So should you as well. Please eat that and once you’re done get some rest as well. I am sorry that I could not introduce you to him.” I didn't and did what the doctor had instructed me to do. When I was finished with my dinner I washed my plate and finally rest. It just took me a few seconds to enter the world of sleep. 

Morning came, from the scream of the chickens from the neighborhoods, it was already past seven a.m. in which I have to do and make breakfast for the doctor, myself, and his guest. 

Speaking of guest…

I was curious as to what this 'guest' looks like? If he came from Russia. From what the doctor has told me they are used to the cold weather and is always snowing in their place. Their complexion is paler than ours, hairs have different colors other than out dark-haired ones and the eyes. The doctor has told me that other countries have the color blue as their eye color. He did not tell me why and I am sure that my brain could not process the knowledge. I'm already struggling with different languages, thank you very much. 

I got up and fixed my bed then went to the doctor's chambers. "Doctor, I'm going to prepare breakfast. What would you like to--" realizing that the doctor was nowhere to be found. Weird. I'm certain that the country has no early check-up with any of his patients. "Perhaps there was an emergency." I mumbled then arranged some of his documents from the table when I saw a paper addressed to me. 

Opening it, there was a letter asking me to go to his small kubo for the poor Filipino children who cannot afford to go to school due to poverty and take over as a substitute teacher. He also added that he was taking 'Mikaela', I'm assuming this was the name of the guest and teaching him medicine practice, and will be gone for a few days. Now my curiosity got the better of me now. If I were, to be honest, doctor Rizal would never hire an apprentice, especially in Medicine. This Mikaela is probably smart for the doctor to be even accepting another apprentice. Without haste, I prepared a packed lunch for myself and went towards the teaching kubo. 

"Gracias, Señor Yuuichirou. Maraming salamat sa pagtuturo ninyo sa amin." The children say in unison making my heart leap with happiness. Teaching these children was something I did not expect to do but I was happy that even with these small acts of patriotism, I could lessen the burden from the doctor's shoulders. I nodded at the children and thanking them as they say goodbye to their friends and classmates. The children slowly made a line and one by one left the kubo. Some were laughing and chattering about the knowledge they learned, others were glued to the books that the doctor provided them and homework that I've given them to answer for tomorrow's class. It was past three in the afternoon and I should probably get back to the doctor’s house. 

Fixing the teaching materials into the small bayong case, I hid the books and papers in the small drawer of the desk table in the center. Making sure that I didn’t leave anything behind as I went my way home. Making a side-tour wasn’t anything new to me since I could explore some of the places that I have not seen. In my venture, a group of guardia civils was piling in a circle formation. Not sure what they were up until I saw the color black inside. I walked towards them to know what they were doing and a beautiful black horse was present. It was a sight to see with its blackish-purple hue of a mane. It wasn’t that long because its eyes were a rich deep crimson color like blood. I was mesmerized by its beauty that I couldn’t move an inch that is until one of the guards bumped into me. 

They’re definitely drunk.

The flock of guardia civils were competing with their fellow soldiers. On whoever finishes a container, it’s content unable to see but I could tell that it was alcohol. A man whom I’m assuming he’s the same age as the doctor. His dress shirt on the verge of discoloration from the stain of liquor or human filth. He laughed like a madman who has finished a task given to him. 

“Hah!” the guard exclaimed, his cheeks red. Gulping another round of liquid into his mouth. “There is no way you punks can beat in this liquor challenge. Whoever is brave enough to challenge me, I will give you this magnificent horse that has been with me for 10 years. Come forward and show me how a man you really are.” I couldn’t wait and moved forward to the center. 

The guards went silent at my presence, some were whispering about something that I did not care about. I was too invested in claiming the horse. I don’t know why but it's as if the creature was calling to me. Another guard with brown hair was laughing, mocking my bravery. “Hijo, do you realize that this liquid here is a man’s drink? There’s no way a kid like you can even drink. Go home from where you came from and--” 

“Teka sandali, I know this kid. He’s the one who’s been hanging around with that Indio Rizal in his residence. Pare, we can dispatch this kid so easily.” 

“Ah yeah, it’s that Japon kid who lives with Rizal. I say let him do whatever he wants.” 

“Agreed. If we dispatch this kid, it will be easy for us since he doesn’t have any more kids to save.” 

Oh, you’ll see…

I didn’t want to be full of myself but I wanted to make those guardia civils eat their own words and being the one challenged, I wouldn’t dare to finish and embarrass myself and let them win. If there was one thing that Rizal did not teach but I have learned in an illegal way, is that I am a very very hard drinker.

Three Spanish guards were now on the floor, couldn’t even get themselves up when they were already drunk while I still have a little left of lambanog in my bottle, my cheeks already painted with the color red. As I jug the last sip of the glass bottle, puffing my lungs out showing to the foreigners my newly empty bottle. It was already a mistake that the guardia civils had chosen the authentic local wine in which they know that they do not even have tasted liquid itself. Being one of Rizal’s associates, I myself, is already exposed to the unique alcohol of Filipinas.

Hence because of some katipuneros and some rebolusyonaryos who were frequent visitors of the doctor and sometimes would just come over and have a drink with the permission from doctor Rizal of course, I have become acclimated with the said drink. Too drunk to make a sentence, the guardia civil raised his right arm, conceding his defeat. I grinned, leaning down to the defeated soldier. “Gracias señor Alejandro. ” walking towards my prize. The black horse’s red orbs staring at me with gusto. With my drunken state, I talked to the creature in my native language. 

“From now on, I will call you as ‘Asuramaru’ based on the Japanese god, Asura, the god of the swords.”