Chapter Text
Amane heard heavy breathing and shifted in his sheets to look. On the other side of the room was, of course, his brother.
The sheets were dangling loosely off of the bed and barely on Tsukasa. It looked like he had kicked the sheets off of himself but it was freezing cold in their room, so how could he be hot?
It was dark in the room, but even so Tsukasa practically glowed in a thin layer of sweat.
Amane got up and walked over to his brothers bed, ignoring the pain in his heal and in his knees.
Earlier the demon pushed him down the stairs. Why? Amane doesn't know.
He sat down next to his brothers unconscious body and waited for any sign of calming down, but none came up.
Now that he was closer to his brother, he could see his details more clearly. His lips parting and harsh panting, like he couldn't breath. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were scrunched shut, he was trembling enough to slightly shake the bed, like he shook enough for the blanket to fall off. He looked in so much pain...
Amane softly his twins hand in his own, cupping it in his palms. "Tsu..?" He asked, as if Tsukasa would hear him through the harsh breaths coming from him.
He looked down and realized there was blood slowly dripping down his arm and a medium red spot in Tsukasa's white sheets. Ah, his cuts must have re-opened.
He gently out the arm back down to where it was before and got up to get bandages out of a desk drawer. He sat back down on his brothers bed and without thinking too much took off the bloody bandages.
He gagged.
He saw his brothers deeply slit wrist, he could see every single detail, the cut tissue was by far the scariest, how would Tsukasa heal?.. He counted each of the cuts and they were all pretty big.
Was Tsukasa having a hard time because of blood loss? Or maybe he really is sick?
Amane carefully took his brothers wrist and squeezed the slits shut so he can put a butterfly on it to keep it shut and bandage them to let them heal.
Soon he was done and he shook Tsukasa again and again. trying to wake him up. At this point Tsukasa had tears running down his face. Was it a nightmare, perhaps?
——————
Tsukasa flailed, grabbing at Amane's arms and dragging his nails down them.
let go let go let go! Tsukasa wanted to scream but he couldnt, if he did then the water would flood into his mouth.
From what Tsukasa remembered, he was in the bathroom drawing a hot, steamy bath for himself. Then Amane came in, saw Tsukasa look on so vulnerable sitting on the edge of the bath, waiting for it to fill, figured out this was his chance, grabbed his neck and shoved him in the water. He was trying to drown him!
Tsukasa tried to push his brothers face away, his arms, his body, anything, but he couldn't. Since when was Amane so strong? It felt like it was their father doing it, which he remembers him doing vividly.
Tsukasa noticed his shirt was soaked, long with Amane's sleeves. His school pants were still on, but they were remaining on the rim of the bath, he forced his shoulder blades to dig into the floor of the tub in order to keep his hips up, because if his hips fell into the water then he'd have an even harder time breathing.
See, Tsukasa and Amane's bath was small. Their parents didn't care if they were getting older and bigger, considering the last time they celebrated their birthday was when they were 4, so they still assumed that was their age. And so, if Tsukasa completely fell into the bath, then he would feel squished. If any of that shit even made sense.
If Tsukasa tried hard enough, he could tell his waist was on the edge of the bathtub and his legs were wrapping Around the others hips. Tsukasa was doing his best to squeeze the air out of him too, but he couldn't, probably because his lungs were above his hips-
Amane smiled down at the swishing water, he couldn't see through it considering all the violent movements but he could tell Tsukasa was loosing air fast. If he could breath, he'd be hyperventilating by now.
Tsukasa's movements started to slow down but the force behind it was still the same.
"shhh~ it's okay Tsu~~ just let it happen, " the imposter cooed to Tsukasa as if he could hear him.
Tsukasa's hands loosely slide down to Amane's wrists. He was about to pass out until he felt a vacancy around his neck.
Tsukasa launched up and took in several violent, harsh breaths. It startled Amane, it sounded like he was drowning or something-
Tsukasa took a second to register where he was. He was in his bed. And there was a figure in his bed too, it was too dark to tell until he realized it was Amane. "Tsu...?" He asked softly.
Tsukasa didn't know if he should be happy to see him or if he should be furious.
"Tsukasa are you —" he got cut off by Tsukasa pouncing on him, throwing them both off the bed.
Tsukasa started shouting at him, gripping Amane's neck and shaking him a bit, but it was hard to tell if he was sad or mad considering Amane could feel tears dripping down onto his face.
Amane wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, he was too startled. The only thing he heard loud and clear was—
"I hate you!! What if I died you jerk!!? Do you really hate me that much?! Why would you... y-you...." Tsukasa raised his hands up to rub his eyes, not even remotely close to rubbing away all the tears.
Amane breathed in a few needed breaths as he sat up and put Tsukasa on his lap, the other sobbing into his hands. He hugged the younger, "shh~ it's okay Tsu..." He cooed gently yet hesitantly as he rubbed the boys back.
It's not relaxing. Tsukasa felt scared again and grabbed his brothers shirt, making sure it's real and not still the nightmare. "Amane.." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Amane was surprised. That's the first time Tsukasa had showed any feelings of emotions over the past few months. The past few months have been filled with nothing but pain and guilt and suffering.
"This is your fault," Tsukasa had Thought while stabbing a razor blade in Amane's arm and dragging it up to his wrist as Amane screamed and sobbed and pleaded.
"You made me like this," Tsukasa smashed a glass bottle on the back of Amane's head.
" you never tried to help me. " kicking Amane when he's already down ,
"Nobody ever did. " shoving him down to the floor,
"Everyone hates me." Crawling into his bed at night and wake him up by taking his fingernails down his chest and stomach or arms and legs.
" I know even you do!!" Tsukasa shouted as he sobbed into his big brothers chest. He's never felt so small, curled into his brother who he's having nightmares about. He knows Amane would never hurt him, never hurt a fly even. Then why was he so scared of the nightmares..?
After Tsukasa regained his breath he say up to look at Amane, and he looked sympathetically down back to him.
"Are you okay...?" He asked and Tsu sniffled in response.
" Do you want me to run you a ba-" "No!" Tsukasa cut him off and stood up to stumble back into his bed.
Amane got startled and Watched Tsukasa. He didn't get it, Tsukasa always loved taking baths, especially when they were with Amane (not in a weird way smh) so why wouldn't he wanna take one now?
He stood up and say next to his brother, holding his hand and giving it a soft little squeeze. "Can you please tell me what happened? " he asked aNd Tsukasa softly told him, his voice sounding hoarse and scratchy, probably from the harsh breathing and yelling.
After he finished Amane was in shock. Why would his other half dream that..? Usually, Tsukasa's dreams were filled with Amane loving him, so what has he done to his little brother recently to make him have that horrid dream..?
"Tsutsu... Don't worry... Id never do that... I love you, I would never want you dead... " The elder said as he combed his fingers through his brothers hair.
"Promise..?" Tsukasa looked up at him.
"Promise?" Amane echoed.
"Promise." He confirmed.
Amane nodded. But That wasn't enough for the other.
"Say it," he told him, and Amane nodded again.
"I promise I will never let anything happen to you. I'll protect you with all my life. " he said but Tsukasa still wasn't satisfied.
"If I do die.. Will you come with me..?" Amane was taken Aback by those words. Why was he talking about death so suddenly?
"Amane? Promise." The younger held out his pinky.
Amane gulped and nodded, hooking his pinky onto his little brothers.
"I promise."