Chapter Text
Patrick and Joe find themselves in the back of the van after they’ve finished loading up their instruments, Pete and Andy still inside the building where they performed and talking to the kids that came to their show.
The tension is heavy between the two, the silence weighted, Patrick doesn’t know how to break it. Usually it would be banter between him and Joe, they would easily pull joke after joke but this time it’s different and he knows why. Patrick swallows the lump that starts to slowly rise in his throat.
“You looked good at the show today- I mean you did good at the show today…”
Patrick can’t help but to fumble with his hands as he thinks about how he messed up the beginning of the sentence, how Joe heard him say that and he can’t take it back because it’s already out in the open.
“I- I didn’t mean the first one, I meant to say the second and I’m not saying that you’re not attractive because you definitely are and I know there’s tons of guys and girls out there lining up just to steal a few seconds with the Joe Trohman and wait I just realised by saying guys it implies that you would be willing to kiss guys and you might not even be attracted to guys and it’s just- oh god I’m talking too much again aren’t I, well yeah I was just trying to-“
Patrick’s words are cut off, short and fast, by Joe’s lips as they capture his own. He can feel his face heat up, his cheeks starting to grow warm as he breathes against Joe. Patrick doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he leaves them up and his eyes wide. Joe pulls away after not receiving a response from Patrick.
“Um, I’m sorry I just…” Joe looks away to the frayed blue carpet that lines the floor of the van, the intensity of his blush putting Patrick’s to shame.
“What was that for?” Patrick is surprised by the loudness of his own voice.
“It was to make up for earlier, I thought maybe… I figured that if I really wanted to do it then you might feel the same.” The red on Joe’s face rises and he sports the same sheepish grin that Patrick wore at the diner.
“It’s okay. It’s just- I’ve never…”
“Oh.”
Joe is suddenly looking back over at Patrick with a wide eyed gaze like he hadn’t expected that answer from him.
“So you’ve never…?”
“No.”
The blush on Patrick’s face reignites with a new intensity.
“How was I then? For your first kiss?”
“I don’t know I-” Patrick doesn’t think his words through this time, “Can we try it again?”
The words are out of Patrick’s mouth before he can take them back.
“Yes.” Joe breathes back with fervour and Patrick is surprised by the intensity of it.
Patrick is ready this time, ready as Joe hovers closer to his face, his lips, Patrick can feel Joe’s breath against his face and the way he gazes down at his lips, a hand reaching down to settle on his waist. Patrick is the one that leans in first this time, compelled purely by the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Their lips meet slow, so slow compared to how fast Joe was doing it last time, Patrick’s heart only beating faster in his chest as he reaches up to wrap his arms around Joe’s neck. Patrick isn’t sure what he’s doing but he must be doing something right because Joe doesn’t complain, even when they both start to run out of oxygen and Patrick can feel a burning in his lungs (a familiar feeling, so familiar, but in this situation so out of place).
They both gasp as they separate from the kiss, swallowing in air like they’re greedy for it and they haven’t tasted it on their tongues in so long. Patrick feels warm all over and lightheaded (like he is after concerts, except this time he thinks it will last longer).
And then they’re connecting again, forgetting that everything around them exists, and Patrick feels like they’re the only two people in the universe at that moment. He can feel a hand, warm and soft, reaching up to cup the side of his face and he leans into it to voice his approval. He can feel fingers reaching up to tangle into the strands of his hair that are long enough to grab onto. And he can feel Joe, Joe on his mouth and in the air and Joe breathing words into him that he doesn’t have to say anymore because this moment is enough to explain it.
Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe. The voice inside his head won’t stop chanting that name. The butterflies are swarming in his stomach, up into his chest and they’re now settled in his throat, he feels like doesn’t need to breathe anymore, like just sharing the air with Joe is enough to survive (the logical part of Patrick’s brain tells him that that’s stupid but he disagrees).
And suddenly they’re apart again and Patrick feels naked in the aftermath, his hat having been lost somewhere during the time they spent kissing. Patrick starts looking for it with frantic eyes, feeling too exposed in Joe’s gaze, his eyes burning so intensely as he looks at Patrick. The cap blends in with the carpet, the same shade of frayed blue, and Patrick stares at it as Joe lifts it up off the ground.
“Looking for this?” Joe smiles softly at Patrick, the way he’s looking at him is so gentle in contrast to the intense gaze that he was giving him before.
Patrick moves closer to Joe, reaching for the hat as he does and being disappointed when Joe pulls it away from his grasp.
“Come on.” Patrick pouts as he begins to crawl over Joe’s legs in an attempt to reach the hat. Patrick can feel himself losing balance as he trembles on one knee, his arm outstretching to reach the cap.
And suddenly he’s falling into Joe’s lap, they find themselves pressed chest to chest and Patrick’s heart leaps as he feels the way one of Joe’s hands reaches around him to rest at the small of his back. Joe lowers the cap from where he was holding it out of Patrick’s reach and pulls the cap down on Patrick’s head with care and tilts it to the side.
“You look adorable.” Joe grins at him like a cheshire cat and Patrick’s heart stutters and his body pools with feelings at the compliment, soft and fuzzy feelings. He’s too stunned to respond to it.
Joe kisses his nose, Patrick’s blush tinting his face sunburnt red, and then rests his face between Patrick’s neck and shoulder. Patrick can feel himself start to relax into Joe’s embrace and Joe starting to slowly lean back against the wall of the van under his weight. They lay there like that for minutes, simply listening to the sound of each other breathing while Joe moves his arms up to wrap around Patrick’s middle.
There’s nothing sexual about the situation and Patrick’s glad for that because he wouldn’t know what to do if there was. Patrick feels so safe and warm and loved and he knows that Joe might not feel the same way about him but in that moment he can’t seem to care at all because he’s finally home.
**********
Joe presses his mouth to Patrick’s hair and murmurs, “Why’s your hair so shiny? What’s the secret?”
Patrick lifts his head up from where it’s leaning against Joe’s chest and whispers, “I use this really special hair product that’s only found in a few countries around the world and it’s really rare.”
“Really?”
“Dude,” Patrick stops for a second, “I’m pulling your leg, it's just a bottle of conditioner from Walmart.”