Chapter Text
Derek ran for about two hours before he had cooled down enough to think clearly about what had happened with Stiles. He felt like shit. What he had said to Stiles was completely out of line, but he hadn’t been able to say what he was really worried about in front of the pack. He hadn’t even had a chance to talk to Stiles about it yet. He was going to do it this weekend, but then that damn pack had shown up and ruined everything. Derek knew that Stiles wasn’t weak, he had seen Stiles fight before, knew that he trained every day, even while he was in school and there hadn’t been a threat, he was always one to be prepared. After dating and living together for as long as they had, Derek knew how strong mentally and emotionally Stiles was. His quiet strength that just snuck up on you was one of the things that Derek loves most about him. Derek just couldn’t stand the thought of what could happen if Stiles went out and fought with them against the intruding pack.
He had to tell Stiles. Had to make him understand what it would mean to Derek if anything happened now. Making up his mind to go ahead and get it out in the open, Derek found his way back to their loft.
It was quiet was the first thing that Derek noticed when he stepped inside the loft. He went to put his keys into to bowl by the door when he noticed the picture on the floor. Realizing that it must have been the crash he heard when he slammed the door he sifted through the glass to pick the picture up off the floor. He felt a sudden sense of relief when he noticed that the picture its self hadn’t been damaged. Just the frame had suffered from the fall. Deciding that the mess could wait, Derek went up the stairs to his and Stiles’ bedroom.
When he entered the room he realized why it had been so quiet. Stiles was gone. The dresser was open from where he had hastily pulled clothes from the drawers and the hangers lay haphazardly across the bottom of the closet where they had obviously fallen while clothes had been yanked from them while still hung on the rod. And there on the bedside table was a note, scribbled in Stiles’ messy handwriting that he used when he was in a rush.
Derek,
I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner how you felt. I didn’t mean to push my feelings on you. I just wish that you had told me sooner. Maybe then I wouldn’t have gotten so attached. Who am I kidding? I was attached the moment I saw you. I’ve loved you longer than I even realized. I thought that we were equals. That I was enough for you. All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy Derek. I want you to find someone that is strong, someone that you can be with and not have to constantly watch over. Someone that you can love as much as I love you. I realize now that that isn’t me.
I got most of the stuff I will need, I’ll send Scott to get the rest after the pack has been dealt with. Please forgive me for being a burden.
Love,
Stiles
There was a tear stain halfway through the letter, smudging the ink that it had hit. It was the most heartbreaking thing about the letter.
Derek had to fix this. Stiles was it for him. There was no way that he could live knowing that Stiles was out there hurting, because of careless word and inaction that were all Derek’s fault. Stiles was the only truly good thing to happen to him since the fire. If it wasn’t for Stiles, Scott would have never been bitten, and the events that followed would have been drastically different. Derek would have never gotten a pack that cared like theirs did, he wouldn’t have a job that he loved and friends, and, most importantly, he wouldn’t have Stiles, he wouldn’t have a chance a family again.
Derek tore out of the loft and headed straight towards the Sherriff’s house. He knew that that was where Stiles would go. He would want comfort right now and being with his father was the only place besides being with Derek that Stiles felt truly safe.
The Sherriff opened the door without a word and nodded his head towards the stairs that lead up to the second floor of the house. The expression on his face was enough to tell Derek that he thought he was an idiot and that he was not happy about the state his only son was in right now. Derek went up the stairs and stood outside Stiles’ childhood room for a moment. Collecting his thoughts and preparing for the groveling session of his life.
Derek knocked gently on the door as he opened it. He had expected to see Stiles at his old desk, or perhaps going through some of his old stuff, it always calmed him to go through the box in his closet. Instead Derek was greeting with the sight of Stiles in his bed, blankets wrapped around him and tucked under his chin. Tear tracks down his face as he stared unseeing at the wall.
“Stiles” Derek said softly, moving further into the room and shutting the door behind him. “Can we talk?” Derek Stopped halfway between the door and the bed when he saw a new burst of tears leave Stiles’ eyes. At the small jerk of his body at the aborted sob Derek was there, pulling Stiles up and into his lap. He wrapped his arms around him and held on tight, letting out a few tears of his own as he whispered “I love you” over and over in Stiles’ ear.
When Stiles’ sobs had quieted and his hiccups had stopped, Derek pulled back enough to look into his eyes.
“I am so, so sorry Stiles. I didn’t mean it. Not one word.” Derek said, trying to push every ounce of his feelings into the words. “You are the strongest person I have ever met, but I love you and I want to keep you safe more than anything else. You are my family now Stiles, you are my mate and I have to protect you. I told you when we first started dating that I suck at relationships, that I was going to mess up, not say the right things. And do you remember what you said to me?” At Stiles’ small nod Derek continued “You said that that was a relationship. That if you were doing it right that you would know how to hurt each other without thinking. But that you would also know how to fix it. And Stiles, I want the chance to fix it. Will you give me that chance?”
Stiles took a deep steadying breath when Derek got through speaking. He closed his red rimmed eyes and straightened up just the slightest bit. When he opened his eyes he looked deep into Derek’s and nodded a small yes.
Derek was so happy that Stiles was giving him this chance. He let out the breath that he had been holding, almost since he had found the note on the bedside table. He started to speak, to tell Stiles thank you but Stiles’ finger on his mouth stopped him.
“You…you have to explain Derek. I have to know why you would say that.” Stiles said. “I have to know what I did to make you think that I’m not your equal. I have to understand.” Stiles pleaded.
“You did nothing Stiles” Derek said. Stiles scoffed at that. A look of utter disbelief at Derek’s words.
Derek knew the time had come. He knew that what he was about to tell Stiles would change everything. And he was terrified that it would make Stiles change his mind about Derek.
“Stiles, I have to tell you something. It isn’t an excuse for what I said and I know that. And I know that I should have told you as soon as I knew but I’ve been so scarred. So scarred that I would lose you, and I can’t lose you Stiles. I love you like crazy Stiles and I would lose my mind without you.” Stiles’ face had changed while Derek was talking. Concern, confusion and curiosity at war in his features.
“I’m not going anywhere Derek, as long as you will have me there is nothing that would make me leave you. You have nothing to be scarred of. I’m here to stay.” Stiles said. Emotions strong in his voice. It was enough to give Derek the courage to continue.
“Stiles, do you remember what Deaton said when he found out that we had mated?” At Derek’s question Stiles nodded his head. He vividly remembered that conversation and the subsequent trip to the store to buy condoms. At his nod, Derek slowly moved his hand around to settle low on Stiles abdomen, voice quiet and face soft and full of wonder Derek finally let our what he had been holding in for weeks “I know why you were sick a few weeks ago Stiles.” He looked Stiles dead in the eye Derek whispered “We are going to have a baby.”
“I have to keep you safe Stiles, both of you.” Derek said, pleading with Stiles to understand. “I can’t lose you, I can’t let anything happen to you. I love you so much. You two are my family and I cannot lose any more family Stiles. Don’t let me lose you too. I couldn’t tell you in front of the pack, I just knew I couldn’t let you go out there. It would kill me if something happened to either of you. Please understand that.” Derek was crying when he finished talking.
Stiles pulled Derek close and held him tight. It was a bit of a shock to learn that he was expecting, but it was something that he had been secretly looking forward to. Granted he hadn’t planned on it happening so soon, but hey, werewolves and male pregnancy were his life, he could roll with it.
“I’m not going anywhere Derek. We are not going anywhere. You are stuck with me for life Derek Hale. And I promise protect this little blessing with my life.” Stiles said, with all the assurance he could force into his words.
Stiles ran his thumb under Derek’s eye, wiping away the moisture from his tears. Derek smiled a small smile at the love of his life. A giddy laugh bubbled out of Stiles as he cracked the biggest smile Derek had ever seen.
“Oh my god, Derek” Stiles said, his big doe eyes getting wider and wider. “We are going to be parents! My dad is going to be a grandpa. ” Stiles said. And Derek kissed him. Both of them with smiles on their faces and teeth clacking together and tear stains on their faces.
“Hey Sourwolf, I know you can make today up to me.” Stiles said with a sly grin on his face after they broke apart.
“How’s that?” Derek asked, eyebrow raising. He knew Stiles well enough to know that this wasn’t going to be fun for him.
“You can explain to my dad how his only son got knocked up by a werewolf.” Stiles cackled, actually cackled at the terrified face that Derek had at that announcement.
Derek thought back over the day they had had. At how he had almost lost Stiles, how he had almost lost their baby. At how lucky he was to have such a strong and amazing person by his side. Derek decided that if telling his mate’s father about how his son was going to give birth to his grandchild was the worst that came from all of this, then he would consider himself blessed and do it without complaint.
Epilogue
Two and a half years later found the entire pack at Stiles and Derek’s new house for a celebration fit for a princess.
Claudia Talia Hale was turning terrible two today.
The intruding pack had been dealt with seamlessly a weak after The Fight That Shall Not Be Named as Stiles was fond of calling it. Six months after that Lia had been born. They had given up the loft for a more family friendly home with a back yard that back right up to the preserve when she had started moving around on her own.
Derek watched as the love of his life tried to keep Lia from getting cake icing all over the house. It was a losing battle. Before she could reach the new sofa with her sticky fingers Derek interceded and scooped the laughing child up into his arms and pulled her close. Breathing in the scent of baby shampoo, cake, home and family. It was the most beautiful scent he could possible imagine. Propping Lia on his hip he walked over to a tired but happy looking Stiles. Lia laid her sleepy head down on his shoulder as he wound his arm around his mate and husband. He kissed Stiles’ temple as he pulled him close. Derek closed his eyes and focused on the sounds of the two hearts that he was so in tune with.
Derek’s eyes flew open as he pulled back from Stiles, wide eyes flicking from Stiles’ face to his stomach. Stiles noticed the direction of Derek’s gaze and let out a laugh.
“I was wondering when you would start hearing it.” He said, a huge grin on his face.
“Really?” Derek asked. He knew that Stiles had been sick lately, but he hadn’t allowed himself to hope that he could be that lucky. He was happy with Stiles, Lia and the pack, he didn’t need more. But the nod of Stiles’ head telling him that yes, his hearing was working correctly made Derek the happiest person ever. He sat Lia down on the floor and let out a loud whop as he picked Stiles up and spun around.
Derek knew that his life had sucked when he was younger; it wasn’t fair that he had lost so much so young. But his life now, was perfect. And he couldn’t be more grateful that that curious, brave, strong, crazy boy had convinced his friend to go look for a body in the woods.