Chapter Text
Melinda had exited the Zephyr before Phil. She gave him time alone with the rest of the team so he could say his goodbyes, he would need it. This couldn’t be easy for him. She was standing in the cockpit with her duffel bag over her shoulder, looking out at the beach in front of her.
It was strange, feeling the sun shining down on top of her as she walked out of the Zephyr, turning back to give Daisy a quick smile before the doors closed and they prepared for take off. She felt bad for leaving her behind, but when she told Daisy that Phil had asked her to go to Tahiti with him, she agreed that she should go. It was his dying wish that she spend his last days with him. She was sure the younger agent would be alright, she had Mack, Yo-Yo, Jemma, Piper and Davis... they would all be okay without her for a while.
She walked up to stand beside Coulson with a smile on her face. They watched the Zephyr take off, flying high above them. For once in their lives they were finally alone, free to do whatever they pleased. It was a nice feeling, freedom. Or maybe the nice feeling was that Phil Coulson was here by her side. She couldn’t believe they were really here, in Tahiti. It made things start to feel real, though. She would have to prepare to say goodbye to Phil Coulson, something she was dreading.
Phil’s eyes were burning. He didn’t want to cry. The team didn’t need to see him cry, that would make it all so much worse. Even now, he hated himself for causing them pain, he got the easy part, whereas they were left behind. He just hoped they wouldn’t grieve too much, they needed to get back to their important tasks.
But as he turned away from them, a single tear slipped down his cheek. This was goodbye, forever. His family, everyone he had loved so much, the young agents he had seen grow up into people he was truly proud of. And he would never see them again. It was like a physical pain, a weight sitting heavily on his chest, and he gasped for air for a moment, trying to stay composed.
This was a celebration, a retirement party. A retirement party... from his life. S.H.I.E.L.D was his entire life. And it had been the end of it too. That was fitting, he truly believed his life had started with S.H.I.E.L.D and now it was due to S.H.I.E.L.D that it was ending. He glanced back at his team for a moment, a deep sigh leaving his lips.
Drinking them in, he blinked hard, taking a mental photograph of each of their faces. Faces he knew so well, but wished he could have had still longer to get to know. He took a moment to envision the rest of their lives, the lives he wouldn’t get to see. Simmons, happy and healthy with a little baby with Fitz. Yo-Yo and Mack, leading S.H.I.E.L.D. a killer partnership. Daisy, working hard to establish equality between Inhumans and humans, the incredible woman he knew she would be, strong, powerful, truly herself. He just hoped they would be happy.
Then he tore his eyes away. A small figure stood at the shoreline, a figure he knew well. Walking over, he took her hand as slow tears slid down his cheeks.
At least he wouldn’t have to say goodbye to Melinda just yet. He wouldn’t be able to cope with that. They still wouldn’t have long enough together, but he could pretend.
Facing forwards, his voice cracked as they both looked at the shore. “Fun way to start a trip, huh?” he said, trying to sound more lighthearted.
Melinda watched him say goodbye. She couldn’t lie that it didn’t tug at her heartstrings, she knew that he would be upset leaving the team. That was okay, he had a right to be upset. Over the last six years, the five of them had become family to them both. She didn’t have to say goodbye to them, she would be seeing them when she returned back to the base. She couldn’t imagine how hard it was to be saying goodbye to them forever.
She gave him a small smile, using her free hand to wipe away the tears that had fallen. “It’s alright. You can be upset, it’s normal to be upset. But you don’t have to worry about them, okay? They’re going to be okay. Daisy will be okay, she’ll have Simmons, Mack, Yoyo and when they get him back Fitz will be there too. Right now, you need to think about now you and the amazing time we’re going to have together.” She said softly, leaning her head on his shoulder.
Phil gently wrapped his arms around Melinda’s waist as she lay her head on his shoulder, a shaky sigh leaving his lips. He knew that she understood this; they had always been able to understand each other’s emotions better than they understood their own. But he almost didn’t want her to. There was no reason for both of them to feel as if they were saying goodbye to their family.
But more than anything, Melinda was his family. She always had been, her presence part of a partnership nothing could break. Bahrain had tested it, Tahiti had tested it, everything in their lives had tested it. They had always come back to each other. But this time, it could be the one time he didn’t come back to her.
But he wasn’t gone yet. They had a little while, even if it would be in no way long enough. That was why he didn’t speak, but just turned to her, kissing her lips gently.
That one kiss was desperate, reaching for the connection they shared. Phil wished it could last forever, they could stay like this. He didn’t hurt like this, all he could think about was the woman he held tight. And there was nothing he would rather think about.
He only pulled away when his lungs burned from lack of air - conspicuously faster than they would have before all of this but he made a conscious choice to try and ignore it as he tentatively smiled at her, catching his breath. “I love you, Melinda May,” he said softly.
Then after a moment, he pulled back. Catching her smaller hand in his, he marvelled for a moment at the daintiness of her fingers, wondering how things that looked so fragile, covered with smooth skin could do so much damage. It was one other thing he loved about her -- she subverted so many expectations, she was truly her own person, she was Melinda May. And that was who Phil Coulson wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
His cheeks coloured as she caught him staring at her, letting out a chuckle. It was still strange to him that it was okay to do that. They had shared a thousand stolen moments, but now that he could truly pay attention to her, it wasn’t strange for him to stare at her. Well. Maybe it was a little strange. But he only had a little time to memorise all of the facets of the face he knew so well, memorised through stolen moments as time raced away from them.
“We should check in to our hotel,” he said softly, an embarrassed chuckle leaving his lips. They walked over to their bags and Phil tried to pick them up before realising he wasn’t strong enough anymore. His smile dropped and he sighed, looking at her. “Sorry I - I forgot for a moment,” he said, a little dejected.
Melinda’s heart raced when he wrapped his arms around her, placing a kiss on her lips. A smile crept onto her face, returning the kiss.
These moments, these simple little moments, were what she would treasure. She wanted to soak up every single second they were here. This time they had together was precious.“I love you too, Phillip Coulson, more than you will ever know.”
Reality set in when he had to pull away to catch his breath. They weren’t here for a romantic holiday. They were here because this was where he wanted to spend his final days. They didn’t know how long they would have together, but they knew it wouldn’t be long. Would it be days? Weeks?
She looked up, seeing the Zephyr jet off back to the Lighthouse to prepare for the trip to space to find Fitz. She hoped they did find them. Jemma deserved to be happy, to have her husband back by her side.
She reverted her gaze back to Phil, noticing he had been staring at her. She let out a small chuckle. It wasn’t a surprise to her that he was staring. She had often caught him looking at her around the Lighthouse or after missions. She nodded her head, walking over with him. “It’s okay, let me.” she said, taking up the bags. She gave him a small, reassuring smile as they walked to the hotel.
Phil’s heart sank when she took the bags. He couldn’t help but be embarrassed. While he and May had no qualms about him being the ‘strong one’ - he was well aware she could beat him in a fight - and they were no longer scared of showing emotional weakness in front of each other like they would have perhaps once been, he was ashamed to not be able to do such a simple task like carrying their bags. Whilst May was more than capable, it was in Phil’s nature to want to make things easier for her, to be chivalrous and open doors, carry her bags. He hadn’t had a chance to do that previously because he was worried she’d not take it so well, and now that he could, this stupid illness was taking that away from him too. It wasn’t a big deal, but it felt like yet another thing that was being robbed from him, and he swallowed a painful knot in his throat as he realised he would never be able to be that person for Melinda. The time they got together like this, he would always be an invalid.
But that time was precious and the time was short, and he forced a smile and took her hand.
Tahiti was everything the false memories had promised it to be. The beach was stunning and the sun poured down on his skin. Hand clutched in May’s free one, there was nowhere Phil Coulson would rather be.
Eventually they came to a hotel just by the beach. After setting up S.H.I.E.L.D with what funds he could and making sure Daisy and May would never go hungry, he had spent his remaining savings on this trip. And that had paid off by the sight of the beautiful hotel before them, marble floors and bannisters sprawled up high. But he led them quickly through the opulent lobby and they were taken straight to their booked room. When they got there, he closed the door behind them with a snap and just wrapped his arms around Melinda. He hid his face in her hair for a moment, overcome with all the emotions of the day and breathed in the apple scented shampoo he knew so well. It grounded him and he pulled back, smiling at her tentatively. “So, Tahiti...” he said softly, before gently kissing her lips.
During all the years they’d known each other, Phil had always been a gentleman towards her, opening doors for her, carrying things for her. So she knew it must have embarrassed him when she took the bags instead of him. He wasn’t as strong as he’d been before Ghost Rider burned through the Tahiti medicine. Another thing to remind them of why they were here.
She usually hated the heat. As they walked to the hotel, she could feel the hot sun shining down on top of them. The warm weather meant she would have to swap her jeans and boots for dresses and sandals. But for Phil, she would make an exception. It might be hard, but she would learn to like the heat. Daisy had even helped her pick out dresses for the trip. Even though she didn’t like wearing them, it would make him happy.
Upon entering the hotel, she gazed around in amazement at the marble floors and the high ceilings. She couldn’t get over how beautiful it was. She certainly was going to remember it.
She dropped the bags down by their bed, grinning as she turned to face him. “It really is magical, huh?” She chuckled, returning the kiss.
X X X X X X
Tahiti almost felt like a dream. It was everything that Phil could have imagined, even better than the images implanted in his brain, because he got to share it with the love of his life.
The looming cloud over their heads made them all the more desperate to seize each moment, little time wasted in each day with things such as sleep as they took long walks on the beach, went out for the evening and simply enjoyed each other’s company.
That was why they could be found getting dressed to go out at 8pm that night. Phil, nervous, was dressed in a black suit, carefully chosen. The night ahead was carefully planned, and as he waited for Melinda to be done getting ready in the small sitting room of their hotel room, he glanced out of the window. Sunset in Tahiti was beautiful.
Spending time with Phil in Tahiti was making Melinda the happiest she had been in a long time. She hadn’t spent this much time away from SHIELD in a long time. It was nice waking up knowing that she didn’t have to go fight robots or figure out a way to return from the future. She could feel.. normal. And the best thing was that she had 𝗵𝗶𝗺 there by her side.
She enjoyed their long walks on the beach, stopping to stand with him to watch the sunset while the tide came in, water splashing against their feet. She enjoyed when she dozed off and woke up to find him just sitting there, watching her as she slept.
She had no idea what he had planned for her that night as she was getting ready. She decided to wear a purple floral dress. She didn’t mind wearing dresses that much. The ones Daisy had helped her pick out were actually quite nice. She put on a little makeup and brushed her hair then came out to the small sitting room. “Sorry I kept you waiting so long. I’m ready now.”
In, 2,3,4. Out, 2,3,4. In, 2,3,4. Out, 2,3,4.
Breathing was more difficult than it had once been, and the nerves that coursed through his body feeling like a pressing weight on his chest certainly did not help matters. Tonight, if it went how he had planned, would be a night he had hoped and dreamed of for his entire relationship with Melinda.
It was with a thick swallow that he waited for her. eHis own black outfit was a more formal suit than his usual ones, tails and all, a matching purple tie to hers. He hadn’t seen her dress yet, but Daisy had quietly whispered to him what colours he would need before he left.
But when he saw her, he realised that no matter how nice a suit he wore, he would never look like he deserved to spend time with someone as beautiful as her. They had spent a lot of time together, in the last few days, hell, the last couple of years. He had seen her in many different situations; from sleeping on the beach to an incredible blur in a fight. But his breath was still taken away .
He stared for a moment before his cheeks coloured and he let out a slightly shy laugh. Reaching out, he took her hand, bringing it to his lips. Phil was a gentleman if nothing else.
“You look stunning.”
Taking her arm, Phil led her out onto the private beach, a soft smile on his lips. Out on the sand, there was a small table set out in the sunset, a candle lit in the middle. He led her to it, pulling out her chair ready for her.
Melinda didn’t suspect Phil’s plan at all. Daisy had been with her when she was packing her bags. She’d seen her looking at some of the clothes she was deciding to bring, noting what colour they were. That was a little strange, but maybe she was just trying to figure out if purple or pink would look good on May. The only colours she usually saw her in were dark colours; bright colours on her would be new.
She was oblivious to the fact that he and the entire team (mostly Daisy) had been planning this even before the couple had left for Tahiti.
She noticed the much more formal suit he was wearing. He looked handsome as always, the new suit only adding to it. They were matching too, with her purple dress and his purple tie. Thoughts of the past few months seemed to fade away. For tonight, Phil would only be on her mind.
She accepted his arm, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of the beach. It looked stunning. The sunset made it romantic. She was never one for romance, but she didn’t deserve this, to be treated like this. He was always far too good to her. She gave him a smile, taking a seat, and watched him take his seat across from her. Tonight would definitely be a night to remember.
Phil couldn’t stop the way his hands shook, but he tried his very best to hide it as he led her out onto the beach. He wasn’t particularly steady on his feet as usual anyway, so he somewhat just hoped that she would put it down to that rather than to nerves.
When she was seated, he carefully sat opposite her and lifted a silver dish, revealing two steaks and all of their trimmings. From under the table he brought out a bottle of Haig and two glasses, winking at her. “We never did get to have that drink, so when’s a better time?” he suggested softly, waiting to see if she wanted him to pour her some. He wouldn’t just assume -- he had a soft drink, too, and she may have simply wanted to pour her own.
The sun came down as they sat and ate, and he smiled at her. Desert was a simple lemon drizzle cake, and rather than having coffee to finish (he knew she hated it) they had hot chocolate and just sat and watched the sea as the stars came out.
“Melinda?” he said softly, carefully standing and getting down on one knee by her seat as she watched the stars. “I just wanted to tell you that you’re my favourite person. I’ve known you so long now, and we’ve ... well. It’s not been the normal journey.” He let out a quiet chuckle. “A lot of people would have struggled with what we’ve both gone through. But I, at least, know I got through it because of you. From two awkward teens at the Academy to nervous newbies at the Hub, we’ve always been side by side - but you know this. But seeing you be so, so strong, even after all we’ve been through, that’s given me the strength to carry on, too. I genuinely don’t know where I’d be without you.”
He swallowed again, his voice wavering slightly with emotion. “What I do know is that I want to be with you for as long as I have left in whatever way I can and I want to know you’ll be taken care of by whatever money I can give you once I can’t be here myself. So, my love? Will you marry me?”
He reached into his pocket and brought out a little ring box.
Of course she noticed that he hadn’t been as steady as he’d used to be on his feet. But she wasn’t surprised. He was ill. Sometimes it was hard to see that he was. Right now you wouldn’t think that he was ill. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind --she wouldn’t think about that right now.
Funnily enough, she was still angry that he had drunk the bottle of Haig with LMDher. So she was pleasantly surprised when he revealed the bottle. A smile grew on her face when he offered her some. “After everything we’ve been through these past few months, I think it’s time that we finally do have that drink.” she agreed, watching him fill her glass for her.
She was so engrossed in watching the sea, she didn’t notice that he had knelt down at her seat until he called her name. The second she saw him on one knee, she knew what was going on he was proposing to her. The nice outfits, the incredible dinner, they were all part of his plan.
She was lost for words as she listened to him speak. Memories of that very first day they met at the Academy came flooding back. That first day they were paired together, Phil trying so hard to be chivalrous before realising he was way out of his depth. Returning to the safe place of each other’s arms after a difficult mission, simply for the familial comfort. Annoying their dance tutor as they both cracked up hysterically laughing from opposite sides of the room from something she had mouthed across to him. A pair glued to each other’s side. God, how awkward they both were back then. They were so innocent, they had no idea what was going to come in the future. A lot had changed. But one thing hadn’t - she knew he was the person she trusted most in the world.
“Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”