Chapter Text
December 31st
I wasn’t so sure about everything that was going on. In two days I was moving not only away from my grandpa but also from Taehyung and Hoseok. That was the strangest part: live in a place without both of them.
Not that Jimin and Jungkook weren’t great. Actually we started this new life in a small apartment while our new apartment wasn’t complete making ourselves some food and having some game night fun.
When I first started doing the red moleskine thing the only thing I hoped was to make some friends. I know I was bitter because Taehyung and Hoseok were having this great holiday and I was feeling lonely, but I was really happy with them sharing a little bit of their lives with me. I wasn’t expecting something like what they have, but something good to start with.
But Jimin and Jungkook took me out of bed on New Year’s Eve because the miracle happened: Kwon Jiyoung was back. Doing a comeback. We finally had our king of kpop back from military service and he was going to sing in the Seoul New Year’s Eve parade.
So I put on my best clothes, my fancy trench coat and we were this happy family going out to see one of their favorite artists from all time. I was really happy with all this day.
People were happy, you could tell. Talking and singing and drinking together already. We were having some fun and we felt complete when Tae and Hobi joined us. There were some girl group singing already and Hobi was trying to mimic their dance, when Jungkook started laughing at something Jimin was showing him on his cellphone.
“Man, those moms… They make my day lighter.” Jungkook said. “You should send this to Namjoon.”
I didn’t realize that our friends became friends so fast. Jungkook and Jimin were already in a group with Namjoon sharing posts about angry moms on the internet. So, maybe, in the near future, I could see Yoongi again.
“Hyung!” Taehyung said, hugging me. “Can’t you believe this year is over?”
“Right? I feel like these last weeks were like a lifetime event.” I complained. Some boy group started saying their wishes for the new year. “But that’s okay. Next year is gonna be better than this one.”
“I’m sure of this.” Hobi said, hugging us. Jimin and Jungkook joined us. What a great family.
“But, Hyung, the night is only the start of something new.” Jk said, smiling.
I didn’t know what I was supposed to expect, but not even in my dreams would I imagine Namjoon smiling at me, behind all of them. I could see him in the middle of there, having some fun listening to some music. He saw me and waved. I waved back. And then, he started coming into my direction.
He was making some space in between people dancing without losing his eyes on me. Namjoon was wearing this grandpa sweater that only looks good on himself. None of us could ever wear this and be that beautiful. I was losing my mind because what the hell he wanted with me? Why wasn’t he looking at Jimin and Jungkook.
“Hey!” he said when he was close enough. “ Happy New Year Y’all!”
Everybody greeted him back, and we came back to watch the show. Jimin started to talk with him while we were absorbed by some group dancing. It was nice, may I say, to see idols once in a while.
It took a while to see Namjoon looking to the sides and raising his hand. We were having fun, until I looked out and found Yoongi coming to our direction.
I wasn’t ready for this.
My heart started beating faster.
I was forgetting how to breathe.
He was beautiful. Wearing this beige trench coat with some blue pattern oversized sweater, some brown pants and a sneaker. His hair was perfectly falling into his bare face. I couldn’t breathe.
I saw two beautiful girls coming along. One of them had this really short brown hair, she was wearing this grey hoodie and some really heavy navy blue coat. She was perfect. Her skin was shiny, she had that kind of smile that makes people go hypnotized. She glows. He glows.
That 's Ha-Na. For sure.
They were holding hands. But she let go in the moment that she saw Namjoon.
“Joonie!” she shouted, running to give him a hug. “We finally found you!”
“I didn’t know you were here!” the other girl said, hugging him.
“These are Ha-Na and Eunji.” Yoongi said, smiling at us. “They’re our friends from school.”
“Wow, Yoongi, You didn’t tell me you have some beautiful friends.” Eunji said “We should all go to parties together.”
“You kinda went.” Namjoon said. “That one near Christmas. I’m sure I saw you guys there.”
I remember that. Namjoon was almost punching me, for sure. I remember him looking at me like death was about to collect my soul and send me to hell because I’ll never go to any kind of heaven. I was so sure about it that I started feeling kinda hot that day.
“They’re Namjoon’s friends.” Yoongi said.
But at the same time Jungkook hugged him so tight that he wasn’t breathing.
“We’re not your friends?” Jimin asked, faking some anger. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”
“You hate me.” Yoongi said. “Especially you.” He pointed to Jimin, trying to escape from Jungkook’s arms.
“Is just to make you wonder what love really is.” Jimin said.
Everybody laughed and maybe I was faking it really well. Or I thought I was really good at faking until I felt some hands near mine and panic was back once again. It was Yoongi, near me, close enough of me, without saying a word. He was lip syncing some lyrics while looking at the show. His face was shining.
The way his mouth was moving, trying to follow the sequence of words they were singing was something nice to see. Yoongi was really happy singing some silly love song. I was happy only watching it. This incredible person that was in front of me was being a little silly. But he caught me looking at him. And opened up this huge smile.
“Hey.” he said.
“Hi.” I answered.
We became silent again. I hate this.
I couldn’t hear a song because my heart was beating really fast and loud.
“Wanna walk a little?” he asked me and how could I say no to this?
I sent a message to Tae explaining that maybe I was gonna be a little away from all this, and the next minute I see ourselves walking in the nearest park that was soulless.
“You’re really important, Seokjin.” Yoongi said. “I’m losing G-Dragon’s comeback.”
“Hey, I’m a fan too!” I said.
“Well, who isn’t, right?” he laughed. “Listen, Seokjin,” speaking my name like this, maybe I was about to have a heart attack. “ I’m sorry for everything.”
“Yoongi-ah…”
“I feel like we deserve a new start.” he looked at his watch. “So let me talk a little. Just listen to me, okay? These last days were something that I would never imagine I could live. Not only because I had so much fun with you without being with you, which is completely crazy, by the way, but I also feel like someone could finally listen to me. So… I think I was hard on you. I’m sorry. This is… something new for me.”
“This…?”
“Yeah! Talking to people I don’t know about my feelings and about what I like. Never happened before. Thanks. I was hoping we could…”
“Oh, yeah, this is all new for me too.” I said. “ I was having a bad time to accept that my life wasn’t like the way I expected. But then you came and… Wow… You make me wordless, and it’s funny because all we ever did was write…”
“Can I…?”
I didn’t let him finish. I came close enough to smell his fresh mint breath. I didn’t let him talk anymore. We became close enough to finally feel him. Feel his soft lips pressed on mine, afraid to do a movement. But I felt him. His heart, his skin.
I don’t know what the next hour could do. I don’t know what my life was going to be.
I was sure about only one thing:
My next year is going to be all about Min Yoongi.