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🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
when I was younger and would have to read out loud to the class from the textbook I would count the kids in front of me and figure out what section I was reading so I could practice it before it got to my turn and I think that's where my anxiety started
Jay Tee @JT replied to @The2ndMalcolm
NERDAinsley Whitly ✔️ @AW_official replied to @The2ndMalcolm
DORK🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied @JT and @AW_official
BULLYING I DEMAND JUSTICE @Twitter !!!!!!!!
Jay Tee @JT just tweeted
My closet has 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @JT
Wanna be gym buddies?Jay Tee @JT replied to @The2ndMalcolm
no🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @JT
why not?Jay Tee @JT replied to @The2ndMalcolm
bc I hate you
Ainsley Whitly ✔️ @AW_official just tweeted
"HAHA LMAO SO FUNNY" I type, staring at my phone with a straight face.
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @AW_official
Ains I have a few psychiatrists that would love you as a patientAinsley Whitly ✔️ @AW_official replied to @The2ndMalcolm
I'll pass
Edrisa Tanaka @Edrisa_Tanaka just tweeted
do you ever wanna take a nap but the nap doesn't wanna take you? bc same
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @Edrisa_Tanaka
me and nap time have a complicated relationshipJay Tee @JT replied to @The2ndMalcolm
yeah no shit
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
being single is like... it's just you and your bottle of water
Gil A. ✔️ @turtlenecksimp replied to @The2ndMalcolm
We're at a crime scene, Bright. Get. Off. Your. Phone.🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @turtlenecksimp
GIIIIILLLL YOURE EMBARESSING MEGil A. ✔️ @turtlenecksimp replied to @The2ndMalcolm
I doubt the corpse cares all that much
Edrisa Tanaka @Edrisa_Tanaka just tweeted
If I saw 99 red balloons go by I'd probably just round them up to 100 when I was telling people about... but that's just me I guess
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
I keep saying "it is what it is" but what even is it?
Jay Tee @JT replied to @The2ndMalcolm
your daddy issuesEdrisa Tanaka @Edrisa_Tanaka replied to @The2ndMalcolm
your pastAinsley Whitly ✔️ @AW_official replied to @The2ndMalcolm
your mental illness🐤s u n s h i n e🐤 @sunshinetheparakeet replied to @The2ndMalcolm
your lack of self preservation and care of your general well-being🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @JT @Edrisa_Tanaka @AW_official and @sunshinetheparakeet
okay okay I get it... WAIT SUNSHINE YOU SPOKE AGAIN🐤s u n s h i n e🐤 @sunshinetheparakeet replied to @The2ndMalcolm
;P
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
Dr. Gabrielle Le Deux @Dr.GLD replied to @The2ndMalcolm
So you're reaching breakthroughs on your own? Is that why you've been skipping our sessions?🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @Dr.GLD
Dr. Le Deux?????? I never gave you my twitter handle how'd you find me?Dr. Gabriella Le Deux @Dr.GLD replied to @The2ndMalcolm
a little birdie told me🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @Dr.GLD
IMPOSTER SUNSHIIIIIINE !!!!!!!
Dante @MyOwnInferno just tweeted
Welcoming Dr. Gabriella Le Deux to the Malcolm Cinematic Universe!!
Daphne🎀 @Daph_knee just tweeted
Alright who's running the parakeet acc? reveal yourself
Camille @ImNotSorry replied to @Daph_knee
this bird rivalry Malcolm has is the funniest thing that ever happened to twitterDante @MyOwnInferno replied to @Daph_knee
I think we can guess its someone who knows him irl. I think we'll find out as soon as Malcolm does lmao
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
"Okay, kid, listen closely cause I'm only going to repeat this 1,000,001 times" - my mother and boss at all times of the day like I'm not 32 years old
Ainsley Whitly ✔️ @AW_official replied to @The2ndMalcolm
@ them you coward🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @AW_official
I'll passAinsley Whitly ✔️ @AW_official replied to @The2ndMalcolm
I'll do it @Jessica @turtlenecksimp🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @AW_official
WHYYYYYYYYY??!?!!?!?Jessica ✔️ @Jessica replied to @The2ndMalcolm and @AW_official
I wouldn't have to repeat myself, dearGil A. ✔️ @turtlenecksimp replied to @Jessica @The2ndMalcolm and @AW_officialWhat your mom said, kid. If you'd listen the first time we won't have to repeat ourselves.
Ainsley Whitly ✔️ @AW_official replied to @The2nsMalcolm @Jessica and @turtlenecksimp
I'm all for lecturing Malcolm on Twitter but can you PLEASE untag me?????
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but you can eat lasagna in the shower if you want to. It's not illegal. They can't arrest you. Go and be free.
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @The2ndMalcolm
UPDATE: Dani says if you choke and drown she will attend your funeral and laugh🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @The2ndMalcolm
UPDATE ON THE UPDATE: Dani meant if I choked and drowned she'll attend my funeral and laugh. You guys are in the clear.
Gil A. ✔️ @turtlenecksimp just tweeted
Stop making new flavors of Diet Coke. The original flavor, chemicals, is already perfect.
Baby Doll 😘 @DebbieHeartsGirls replied to @turtlenecksimp
so true bestiemegan 🥨 @megannotmarkle replied to @turtlenecksimp
but... but... what if I like having a varietyGil A. ✔️ @turtlenecksimp replied to @megannotmarkle
Miss Megan Not Markle, you are under arrest for bad taste. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm replied to @turtlenecksimp
what did I just witness?Jay Tee @JT replied to turtlenecksimp
WE CAN ARREST PEOPLE THROUGH TWITTER NOW? @The2ndMalcolm COME HERE REAL QUICK I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING!
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
@susnshinetheparakeet I think it's time I figure out your identity
🐤 s u n s h i n e 🐤 @sunshinetheparakeet replied to @The2ndMalcolm
Go ahead I'm not stopping you ;p🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
that specific winky face.. I've seen that used before...🐤 s u n s h i n e 🐤 @sunshinetheparakeet replied to @The2ndMalcolm
lemme know when you find out ;p
Jen the Fren @JennyJenny just tweeted
gUYS IS IT ME OR IS THE SUNSHINE ACC FLIRTING WITH MALCOLM?!?!
Mercy 🎃 @MercifulPumpkin replied to @JennyJenny
THEY TOTALLY ARE!!!!Courtney 👀 @ComingUpCourtney replied to @JennyJenny
IM LOSING MY MINDCharlii 💜 @AllHailTheQueen34 replied to @JennyJenny
SUNSHINE REVEAL YOURSELF CHALLENGE
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
HOLY SHIT I'VE BEEN SO BLIND
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
I... I... THIS WHOLE TIME????
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
@sunshine is parakeet is.. they are.. I CANT SAY IT AHHHHHH
🐤 s u n s h i n e 🐤 @sunshinetheparakeet just tweeted
🎶ITS BEEN DANIIIIIII ALL ALONG🎶
🍭Malcolm🍭 @The2ndMalcolm just tweeted
I think im actually deactivating byeeeee
