Chapter Text
Sawamura’s day was definitely not supposed to go like that. The young man had woken up that morning determined to put his soul into the game and win the game. And, for the most part, his plan had gone accordingly.
What he definitely wasn’t planning, was to be forced to leave the court halfway through the match against Wakutani Minami High because of a presumed head injury that he promised he didn’t have. He’d sworn it to the coaches and to his teammates, he’d proved how he could walk and see perfectly fine, but Sawamura’s complaints and pleas had been to no avail, as Ukai led him to the infirmary, trying to coax the distraught and reluctant boy.
Ten minutes later, the nurse had declared that he wasn’t concussed, not before she’d flashed an obnoxiously little light in his eyes, and made him answer a few questions; the woman had still forced him to sit the game out and to rest until his teammates were done, so the Captain had found himself sitting upright on the cot, the scent of antiseptic making him more nauseous than the hit itself had made him一 and no, he wasn’t going to let himself spill his guts, nobody would have believed him if he’d said that it was because of the disgusting smell of disinfectant and sterile tools.
A soft yet firm knock on the door made the nurse, Ukai and Sawamura jolt slightly, as they all turned toward the source of the noise. A teen with dark hair in a red uniform一 the coach immediately recognised it一 was standing in front of the entrance, timidly glancing inside; he bowed his head slightly, and looked up once again toward the nurse. “Sorry to intrude, my name’s Kuroo Tetsurō. I was wondering if I could visit D一 Sawamura-kun, please.”
Sawamura’s eyes widened comically, but he didn’t say much, and only hinted a tiny smile. The woman and Ukai exchanged a brief glance, before they nodded and got up from their positions, barely nodding their head at the kid.
Before leaving the room, Ukai turned to Sawamura again, “Captain, don’t strain yourself, alright?” he instructed, voice gentle. Humming in agreement, the nurse briefly asked Kuroo to warn them if the other boy were to get dizzy or too sleepy, and then the adults left, sliding the infirmary door closed.
A few beats later, Kuroo finally decided to break the uncomfortable silence, not too gently. He sat on the uncomfortable chair next to the bed, and crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowed in concern and… was it anger? Sawamura wasn’t sure.
“What the hell were you thinking!?” Kuroo screeched.
The other boy chuckled lightly, “Hello to you, too.”
“Hey, don’t get too smart, idiot. Fuck. I almost had a heart attack when I saw you slamming face first into Number #5 like that. And I couldn’t even get to you from the bleachers. Daichi, fuck, w-why can’t you keep your damn eyes open on the court?”
“If it didn't physically hurt me, I’d roll my eyes right now.” Sawamura scoffed, “You’re too dramatic. And, it was an accident. My mistake, entirely, only an accident. I’m okay.”
Kuroo shook his head. “Yeah well, I wouldn’t be this ‘dramatic’ if you’d, I don’t know, if you’d sprained your ankle or fell on your stupid ass, but allow me to worry if I see my boyfriend almost crack his skull open and die before my eyes.”
“I didn’t一” he couldn’t suppress the snicker, “I didn’t die, it wasn’t that bad. Plus, I’m not even concussed, the nurse already cleared me to join the next match.”
“But you passed out!”
“Yes, for like, thirty seconds.”
Kuroo’s gaze darkened. “It means that you hit your head hard. That’s dangerous.”
Sawamura sighed, resigned. He moved an arm and slightly leaned to the right so that he could place a warm hand onto Kuroo’s cheek. “Tetsu, I’m fine.”
The taller boy bit his lower lip and leaned into the touch, feeling a little less tense now that he could see that his boyfriend seemed, in fact, okay. He’d always had the tendency to observe people closely, and from the moment he’d met Sawamura, not too long ago, he’d immediately noticed how strong, tenacious and selfless he could be. Kuroo wasn’t a fan of the last part, admittedly.
“I’m sorry I scared you, but I promise it’s nothing. If I were in danger, you know that they would’ve sent me to the hospital immediately.” Sawamura breathed out, trying to sound as reassuring as he could manage.
And it was true, Kuroo was aware. Sawamura knew that his boyfriend had always been the kind of guy to stay up at night to read about every possible health condition, keen to be ready in case of emergency, but also for his own interests. That made the Nekoma captain a little too anxious, sometimes, since he tended to look too much into things that weren’t as bad as he made them to be.
“Just…” Kuroo’s voice was soft, a whisper, “Just watch where the fuck you’re going next time!”
Karasuno’s number #1 laughed, nodding his head despite the dull pounding. “I promise. So, uhm, are you going to finally hug me, or were you waiting for me to write a formal request?” he added with a low chuckle, slightly embarrassed.
They’d been together only for a couple of weeks, so the situation was very new to them; some would say that Kuroo and Sawamura had rushed into things, but the truth is that they only did what they felt like was the right thing to do. They’d met at the training camp, and during those few days, they’d immediately grown close; neither of the boys questioned whether that pleasant ache in their chest was just a very solid friendship, or something more. Not until, one day, they’d both decided to open up about their feelings, over the phone.
Distance sure was an issue to be dealt with, but for the time being, the two young men were content with how things were going. Neither of them was out as bisexual yet, so introducing their boyfriend to some relatives and friends without telling them about their orientation first seemed too irrational.
It had all happened so quickly that, frankly, they didn’t care about anyone knowing just yet. Both of them had been clear about how they were still experimenting, testing the waters and taking their sweet time to do so; Kuroo and Sawamura didn’t pressure the other into hurrying their ‘experimenting’ up, and since they’d decided to do this together, it was only fair to wait as much as needed.
Kuroo gulped down and nodded frantically before moving; he sat down on the edge of the thin mattress and slowly, carefully wrapped his muscular arms around Sawamura, gingerly paying attention not to jostle him too much, for fear that he’d break into a million pieces like a crystal glass.
And Sawamura, for his part, could tell. He smiled softly, and let his head rest in the crook of Kuroo’s neck, breathing in the scent of patchouli body wash, letting his own arms hold onto the boy tight, fingers fisting the fabric of the red tracksuit.
They hadn’t seen each other in almost two weeks, and they hadn’t met much at all in their lives, so hugging definitely felt strange, but far from unpleasant or awkward; it was simply… new. The welcoming sensation of being in the arms of someone that they loved一 and even if they were both deeply uncertain whether this was love, or simply the heat of the moment一 was indescribably joyful, it made their chests swell and pound whenever they were close, longing for an embrace, and more.
Kuroo pulled away after a minute, glancing at the door, still closed, and back at his boyfriend. He swallowed the lump in his throat, guts twisting uncomfortably as he opened his mouth, shaky.
“D-Dai, can I一?”
“Yes. Please.” Sawamura said and closed his eyes, cheeks and ears gaining a dark shade as he blushed, visibly. He knew it was about time, he knew that it was going to happen. And he was thrilled. They’d never kissed before, but it was only a matter of time, and even if Sawamura had thought that he wasn’t ready until about ten seconds ago, now he only wished that Kuroo would hurry.
He leaned toward Kuroo slightly, breathing in as quietly as he could through his nose, and waited. But whatever he was waiting for, didn’t come. Sawamura blinked his eyes open, only to find his boyfriend with a hand on his own mouth, eyes wide, pupils pinpoint. He looked somewhat scared.
“W-what?” Sawamura asked, retreating, wide-eyed as well.
“What are you一 Fuck, oh shit, did you want me to kiss you just now?” Kuroo asked incredulously. Sawamura gulped down, loud, and nodded. Had he misunderstood? The captain of Nekoma seemed... scared, and he didn’t like that.
The boy with chocolate-brown hair nodded once again, “Was that not what you wanted to ask?”
“I… N-no. I, ah, I just needed to use the... bathroom.” Kuroo murmured, barely audible.
Silence followed, and not the comfortable kind. Sawamura sat on the bed, hands folded in his lap, eyes fixed to it; Kuroo was still on the edge of the bed, and soundlessly popped his lips, playing with the lobe of his left ear nervously.
Kuroo cleared his throat, making a sound after what felt like an eternity. “...Well, that was awkward.”
“Y-yeah, definitely. It’s my fault.” Sawamura replied. He buried his face in his hands, ashamed beyond what he could express with words. “I’m so sorry, I totally misread the situation, Tetsu. I should’ve let you finish but I was arrogant and assumed that you一 ah, fuck.” he grabbed a fistful of his own hair, breathing out shakily.
Light-brown eyes shot wide open. “No, no, hey, don’t apologise, you don’t need to! It’s fine. I should’ve been clearer, my tone was totally wrong for the situation. I’m sorry.” Kuroo fretted, letting his head sag forward, “I didn’t want to make it weird, I should’ve just kissed you anyway. Shit, Dai, I’m an idiot.”
“No, you didn’t have to. I didn’t mean to force you, I didn’t want to make you feel uneasy because of this!” Sawamura exclaimed, voice too loud for his own liking. After all, his head still throbbed slightly, and the coach had warned him not to get too riled up if he didn’t want to miss the next game. “Listen, just let me take the blame for this one, it was totally my mistake, mine only.”
Kuroo breathed out a light breath, shrugging, “I mean, I’m not saying that it’s my fault only, or yours entirely, but partially, maybe? Anway, let’s not turn this into a ‘who fucked up more’ competition, alright? It’s okay, nothing bad happened.” he smiled, hoping to soothe his boyfriend’s nervousness.
Sawamura let himself hint a tiny grin too, “Fine, okay. I’m still sorry, though. Did I mess this up?”
The other cocked a dark eyebrow, “What does ‘this’ mean?”
“Like, ‘us’. I scared you, didn’t I? I rushed things a little too much, like I always do. I fucked up.” he muttered, vaguely gesturing to the ice-pack that sat on his leg, now numb, instead of being pressed against his sore face like he was ordered to. “Forgive me, Tetsu.”
Kuroo immediately cradled his boyfriend’s hands into his own一 were they trembling?一 and held them, delicate but firm. They locked eyes, and Sawamura couldn’t help but notice the little sparkle of anger in Kuroo’s shiny orbs.
“Tetsurō?”
“You didn’t ‘fuck up’, Daichi. It was kinda funny too, y’know? You don’t need to worry so much, nor to apologise! Sure, that definitely caught me off guard, but I’m not mad, and you didn’t scare me, alright? I was just, like, confused and wildly unprepared. It’s fine, everything’s fine between us, as far as I’m concerned.” he said, his own voice shaking in the slightest.
He took a deep breath, grip tightening as he intertwined his fingers with Sawamura’s. “I didn’t think you were ready for that. Kissing, I mean. I didn’t think I was either. But, honestly? If you’re ready, I am. It’s not my first kiss, and I don’t know and don’t care if it’s the same for you, it’s none of my business. But, like, I’m ready to kiss you, to start this with you. If you want to, that is.”
Sawamura stayed silent for a moment, during which he tried to gather his thoughts at the best of his possibility, currently still shaken after sustaining the head injury, no matter how insignificant, and with his mouth that still throbbed painfully, bleeding a little, too. To that, one could add the fear of having possibly scared his boyfriend away. The ‘moment’ dragged on for two whole minutes.
“Daichi? Please, don’t tell me you’re dying because you hit your head too hard.” Kuroo pleaded.
The other young man blinked, sheeping, and snapped back into reality. “N-no, sorry, I was just zoned out. I, huh, I’m ready. For the kiss, I mean. For more than one kiss, of course. I don’t mean ‘only one kiss’, I mean for, like, all the kisses.” he stuttered. Kuroo tilted his head slightly, snickering.
“You sure? You don’t look so good right now.”
“I’m just... flustered.” Sawamura confessed, scratching at the back of his neck, “I’ve never actually kissed anyone before, so now that I know that you did, I feel like I’ll mess up.” he said with a tight grin, bitter. Kuroo’s traits softened, and he shook his head lightly.
“There’s no need to. I won’t judge you, you know I wouldn’t.” he said, voice gentle and calm, “If you want to try, we can. But only if you want to.”
“I do, I was the one who tried to kiss you first.” Sawamura laughed, visibly more relaxed. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to ground himself a bit more. “Okay, I’m ready. Tetsu, let’s kiss.”
Kuroo snorted, quick to bring a fist in front of his mouth and look away, “You’re so pragmatic!”
“That’s not an insult, I don’t mind.” the other bickered, jokingly. He extended his arms calmly, and cradled his boyfriend’s jaw, rubbing soothing circles on Kuroo’s cheeks with his thumbs.
Kuroo smiled, and brought his hand up too, before putting the one that should’ve gone onto the boy’s sore side down, resting onto neck instead. The other hand, however, did go on Sawamura’s head, far from the injury.
They both leaned forward, slightly. Uncertain lips met, timid as they made contact; the boys could feel the stranger yet welcomed warmth and humidity, breath slow and shallow, and Kuroo could faintly smell the copper in the other’s mouth; he didn’t mind, and it reminded him to keep his hand down before he could accidentally hurt Sawamura any further.
Slowly, carefully, the kiss deepened, hands moving slightly as to bring the other closer to their own bodies. Sawamura dared to open his mouth a tad, and Kuroo didn’t waste time and let his tongue trail inside his mouth, letting his boyfriend do the same. Avoiding any sore spots, Kuroo began to slowly explore the young man’s mouth, and Sawamura mimicked him, albeit slow and unsure of what to do. Kuroo didn’t mind his clumsiness, so he let him experiment as much as he needed to.
Their noses scrunched and brushed only in the slightest, just as Sawamura began to tilt his head a bit, as to get a better angle. Once again, his boyfriend didn’t stop him, and quietly enjoyed Karasuno’s captain’s enthusiasm and curiosity. Kuroo found it adorable.
Finally, after a couple of minutes, Sawamura pulled apart, breathless despite the modesty of the kiss. His grin went from ear to ear, so Kuroo interpreted it as a positive sign. He smiled, too.
“How was it?” he asked, hands trailing down to rub at Sawamura’s knee.
“Great. Absolutely great. How did I do?”
The one with darker hair laughed, “I mean, I can’t give you a score, but you did amazing despite being new to this. Really. Next time, though, let’s have a slightly less bloody kiss.”
Sawamura blushed in the slightest, but chuckled, “Yeah, I agree. Also, I moved my jaw too much and it started to hurt again, so could you一 thanks.” he said, and grabbed the ice-pack that Kuroo had handed him promptly. “That was a weird first kiss, all things considered.”
“Weird, how?”
“I mean, it’s not something that happens daily, to kiss your partner while your mouth’s bleeding and right after you embarrassed yourself and the other. An interesting combination of events, I must say. But I wouldn’t recommend it.”
“I have to agree with you on that, though to me it was perfect anyway.” Kuroo laughed. “I’ll go get the nurse to have her look at your mouth again, so be sure not to bleed out to death in the meantime, okay? I want to be able to kiss you again.” he said, and leant down to press a kid onto Sawamura’s nape.
Kuroo got up from the bed, but before he could step away, the other boy’s callous fingers were wrapped around his wrist with a delicate but convinced grip. “I’m about to say something.”
“...Okay?”
“But you don’t have to feel bad if you don’t think the same thing. I’ll be fine.”
The Nekoma’s captain gulped down, chuckling nervously, “J-just say it already, don’t be dramatic.”
“Okay. Tetsu, I love you. Also, I’m sorry I delayed your bathroom break.” Sawamura said, rapidly too. The other blinked, bewildered.
“That was… definitely anticlimactic. The last part, I mean, not the ‘I love you’ stuff. I- I mean, not ‘stuff’, it’s important, I didn’t mean to say ‘stuff’!” he fretted, stumbling over the words, “I love you too! I think. I don’t一 I think it’s love, but I’m not sure. But I definitely, without a doubt like you more than anyone else, and in a special way, too. So I think that’s ‘love’? I一 I’m definitely ruining this, wow, I should shut up and一”
“Testu.” Sawamura called, softly, interrupting his boyfriend’s mumbling.
“Y-yes?”
“It’s okay. I told you, you don’t need to feel the same way. You saying that you like me ‘more than anyone else and in a special way’ is more than enough.” he breathed out, gentle and sincere, “It’s okay if you need more time, and it’s okay if one day you’ll realise that, maybe, love is something else. Maybe I will, too. But I want to enjoy the moment, and now, I know that you’re the one I love the most. And for me, that’s more than enough.” he finished, offering an understanding smile.
Kuroo’s face fell, ashamed. “I’m sorry I’m so slow.”
“You’re not! Nobody’s got the right to tell you that you’re too fast or too slow at elaborating your feelings. Take all the time that you need.”
The other nodded, offering a shy grin. “Thank you. You’re the best. Can I get a hug?”
“Of course you can.” Sawamura laughed, and Kuroo flung himself into his arms, delicate but rapid in his movements.
These things took time, and the two boys were aware that they had all the time in the world. In addition to that, they also had each other, so no matter how long it was going to take because, without a doubt, it was going to be a pleasant journey of self-discovery and (maybe) love.