Chapter Text
It was weird, the feeling of holding an odd strangers hand as they walked around. His hands weren’t rough or calloused like the hands of other men that she had held. They weren’t soft either. They were firm, filled with confidence and reassurance. Yet she could feel energy pulsating through his veins; they had a slight glow to them in the darkness. The Doctor said it was regeneration energy and that it was lasting way longer than usual. She didn’t know what that meant and he said she would understand when she was older. She didn’t think so, but she kept on clutching his hand. It was like being in a warm bed during the early hours of a cold morning, when you are too comfortable to get up and face the day. It was that comfort of a home. Home. She didn’t feel like she belonged to any home now. But regardless of that, she didn’t know him. So that’s why it was weird.
The Doctor sympathized with the young girl, he had realized as soon as he saw her that she had been the one whose thoughts had been so powerful to penetrate all of time and distance to reach him. Or rather, the Tardis had taken special interest in the child. Enough to create a detour that the Doctor really didn’t want to take. Rose could wait forever, his Tardis could take him up to a second after he had chosen to demartiliarized. But he didn’t want to wait forever. Not that he would ever admit to that. It wasn’t good for him to get attached. He really needed to get better at his being alone thing, or he would find out just how much his two hearts could break.
Yet he felt pulled to the girl. She reminded him of Tabitha, when she was a young girl. She would run around pretending to travel through time. He had always promised that he would take her to Barcelona, Avalon and Brues. The whole universe at the tip of their fingers. The Time Lords had an unspoken agreement. Families were not allowed to take any member under 16 through time without permission. By 16 they would have finished the academy, the would be recognized as adults. As adults they would understand why some events are set and stone and why being an observer was of utmost importance. Sure he could have taken Tabitha across the universe had she understood the concept of a secret but alas, she was too young to really know how to keep her mouth shut. He wished he could have broken all the rules for her. But she was dead, her soul was probably dispersed into tiny little atoms, traveling the world with the others. He wished he could join them.
To the Doctor, everyone was unique. No atoms would ever come together in the same ways with the same circumstances to create the same human being. He didn’t really believe in reincarnation.Still the mop of thick black hair, her large brown eyes. The way her voice would rise an octave higher when asking a question to make sure she was being heard. It was all very Tabitha.
No. They aren’t the same person. I need to get my head sorted out. She is too old anyway, to really be her.
He couldn’t help but squeeze her nose gently. “Moop” She raised an eyebrow. An expression that she seemed too old for her young face.
“Carmilla, CAR- MILL-A. Carmel, huh. Hebrew, biblical. Garden, orchard funny you have one of those….ccaarrmmiilllaa.” The Doctor said slowly, leaving his mouth wide open once he finished speaking. Carmilla looked at him like he was the oddest person she had met in her life. And maybe he would be.
“Why are you doing that?” Carmilla asked, trying to jump high enough to tap the Doctor’s opened mouth shut.
“Nothing, just thinking. Thinking is good for your noggin. Good to keep ya smart, alert and ready to create solutions when you are in a sticky situation. Also, it can make your brain grow.”
“Is that why your head is so big?” She said through shy giggles.
“Hey what’s that suppose to mean?”
“Are you a good listener too?” She teased referring to his ears.
“Oi, watch what you say. Especially to someone more powerful that you.” He was referring to himself of course and proved his point by swinging her up to carry her. Her nervous laughter filled the streets, but even then the Doctor noticed that she was trying to control herself. It was not the carefree laughter of a child. He had observed that she tried to control her actions, do everything with purpose and was always trying to gage his reactions. It was like she was traumatized. That is the hard thing about children, or anyone who was younger than 900 years old. Traumatic things can range from stepping on a thumbtack to having abuse parents to killing off a whole species. But deep in his gut, he knew there was an issue with her. The Tardis must have agreed as well. But it wasn’t apparent to him.
Sometimes it occurred like the that. The Doctor would be placed onto the pathway of someone who would be extraordinary. The Tardis was picky that way, only the best for the Doctor.
I have to keep on eye on Carmilla. She seems to think that there is something wrong with her but it isn’t what she thinks. I should scan her, make sure she really is okay.
“You mentioned something about being sick earlier? Mind telling me what it is? Maybe I can help. I am the Doctor after all.” He said, placing her feet back on the ground and kneeling in front of her. He didn’t receive a verbal answer. Carmilla just raised a small finger and pointed to her head. Her eyes filled shame and she stared at the ground as willing it to swallow her. She heard the second strangest but new sound of the night. It hurt her ears, she squeezed her face together, smaller and smaller. In her mind it made her feel more protected.
“Don’t worry it is just my sonic screwdriver, it’s scanning your brain. Checking to see what this little sickness is that you are convinced that you have.” He moved the sonic around her head, staring at it willing it to go faster as it seemed to frighten the girl. A second later, the top half of the sonic clicked shut.
“It’s okay. Carmilla, sweetheart. Look no noise see.” He glanced at the sonic’s tiny screen, only a Time Lord would be able to read it. Carmilla visibly relaxed. “And guess what, good news nothing is wrong with you! You aren’t sick. You are actually very healthy for a child in the 1600’s. Surprisingly so.”
Carmilla felt her knees go weak, she was unable to stop them from buckling in underneath her. The Doctor caught her before she fell to the ground. Hoisting her up so that their faces would be at eye level. “I’m not sick? You fixed me?” She asked. The strange magic Doctor man had fixed her with his wand.
“There wasn’t anything to be fixed.”
“Promise?” She touched her forehead to his.
Mother always said the truth and and all true intentions are seen through the eyes.
She wanted to make sure he wasn’t lying.
Tabitha use to do that when I promised her the stars.
The Doctor thought, realizing what Carmilla was searching for. He pushed all negative thoughts out of his mind, he didn’t want to frighten her more than necessary.
“Promise.” He said with so much sincerity that it brought little Carmilla into tears. And how couldn’t it be sincere, it was the absolute truth.
“But then, why does mother not agree. She wants me to hide parts of myself, she said God wouldn’t agree with them.” Tears rolling down her cheeks.
How can a Doctor who I just met tell me I’m okay, but my mother not think so. He is a Doctor and a man, he surely knows more than mother. But then he doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know what has happened.. But I don’t want to tell him. This is the second chance I’ve always wanted. Perhaps, if mother decides she cannot love me enough to look pass what I’ve confided in her then this Doctor magic man can save me from her sending me away. Or maybe I could convince him, that he could treat me. He sees nice enough.
“Sometimes there are special people born ahead of their time. They have thoughts and ideas that seem strange to others. They can look into the future and see all the possibilities. They can look at other people and only see love. It’s fantastic! Those people are simply fantastic. They are rare and unique and hard to find as they can live in fear of rejection. Like I said ahead of their time. And you know what Carmilla. I think you are one of these people.”
Carmilla felt an overwhelming sense of joy and pride. She would remember those words forever, even if she didn’t truly understand what he meant. But he called her special and no one had ever done that before. She wanted to keep on crying but she didn’t want to seem to childish, she didn’t want to become a burden or bother the Doctor with her emotions. He father hadn’t carried her in years and whenever she got emotional he would send her to her mother. Emotions weren’t a thing that men dealt with. Carmilla didn’t want the Doctor to abandon her or start to unlike her like everyone else seem to do. She had forgotten what it was like to be loved..well liked in the Doctor’s case. He couldn’t love her, he didn’t know her. But she wanted him to like her. And maybe if she acted like him enough, the magic Doctor man would share some of his magic too.
God sent me a magic man. I won’t mess this up, I swear.
Carmilla finally lifted her forehead away from the Doctors then, not really knowing her own strength squeezed his nose as he had earlier giving a quick “Moop” and a giggle. It actually hurt the Doctor a bit but he didn’t show discomfort.
No.
The Doctor thought.
This can’t be Tabitha. She would never have “mooped” me back.
He let out a hearty laugh.
“Now that this is settled. Let’s get you home Carmilla.”