Chapter Text
Before Ed did small things in the office that seemed to calm his inner cat, but now he’s not even doing that. His hood never comes off, and he stopped doing anything cat-like. When bored he would start playing with a pen on his desk, the pen stays in his pocket. You could tell he was comfortable because he would start purring, he looked like he was physically restraining himself not to. The kid looked sick, and that he was about to fall over. And Roy didn’t feel comfortable about leaving Ed alone at all anymore, he was scared that the kid would do something rash.
It’s been awhile since the incident at the door room, and he hoped that Ed would learn that not shifting isn’t good. But it seemed like he was thinking the opposite.
The cat in question told him that he was shifting: At least once a week. And when he asked Alphonse he said that Ed was telling the truth. He even talked about how Ed’s favorite toy to pick on was a little mouse. (Then why did the kid start doing this?)
Roy could tell Ed was at the end of his rope, something was going to snap, and something was going to happen. (Good or bad Roy didn’t really know..)
“I’m taking you off of active duty.”
Ed was silent for a second, staring at the floor, miles away from the situation, and then it looked like the words processed through because the kid shot to his feet. “Why!”
“I don’t want to take the risk of you keening over during a mission, and lading yourself in the hospital.” Roy didn’t add the ‘again’ because that kid was already accident prone, and whatever was going on wouldn’t help the situation.
“I’m not going to ‘keen over’, I’m fine!”
“Have you looked in the mirror lately? You look like a corpse.”
Ed didn’t really say anything, he had that look on his face, the look he got when he was restraining his purring.
“You're allowed to purr.”
“Why would I do that? I’m not exactly happy about the fact I’m off of active duty!” His legs were shaking, and the strain on his face was getting worse.
“Sit down before you pass out.”
“How many times do I gotta say it, I’m-” Ed let out a small cough, using his hand to cover his mouth. “Fine..” His voice was strained.
“I know you’ve been restraining them, and I’m done turning a blind eye. So why are you not purring?”
Ed didn’t say anything.
Roy got up, and strides over to Ed. He really didn’t want to do this, but he kid was hurting himself at this point. “Pull off your hood.”
“No.” The kid tried to walk away, but Roy grabbed the back off his jacket, and spun him back around. “What the-”
Roy yanked down the hood, pinched at the back of his neck, making sure the kid wasn’t going anywhere, and started scratching at the back of Ed’s ears
The strain on the kid’s face was at its worst, a few purrs got out, but is still holding back. He couldn’t even speak back, because he was to focus on not letting his purrs out.
“I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself, but it’s bad enough that you hide the fact that you're a presenter. So I’ll ask again, why are you doing this?”
“Because if I do, then my instincts take over.”
“They shouldn’t because you transform.” He kept rubbing at Ed’s ears, but also at the back of his head.
Ed’s ears went down, pressing into his head, tears filling his eyes. “I really haven’t.”
“What do you mean by that?” He stopped petting at Ed’s ears. The only way that he would transform without any say in it was… The grip on Ed’s neck got a little tighter, “What are you doing?!”
Ed wasn’t even looking at him anymore, looking at the ground in shame.
“Edward Elric what are you taking!?”
The kid still didn’t say anything, but he was making small noises. It hurts, we didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. Make it stop hurting! The little noises were so quiet that Roy had trouble hearing him, but still could.
He wasn’t even addressing his instincts as a part of himself anymore, wasn’t even conscious with the noises he was making.
Roy let go of the back of the kid’s neck, causing him to fall to the ground and actually start purring. Roy watched as the trembling kid reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a small drawstring bag, and put it in his hand. “I wasn’t actively looking for it. It was given to me, and every time I shift I’ve had that in my system.” He spoke with an emotionless tone, not even looking at Roy.
He didn’t need to open the bag to know what was in it. He could just tell from the smell. Catnip, the kid got his hands on catnip. Now in retrospect Roy was glad it wasn’t something worse, but it was still bad. They still didn’t know all that it would do to the human body. He crouched down by the kid, lightly grabbed his head…
And bit down on his ear. (Hard enough that it would hurt, but he didn’t want to draw blood.)
Ed flinched at the feeling, but didn’t vocally protest against the punishment. Still purring, (Probably for emotional pain.) and making small noises. Were sorry, don’t hate me, don’t leave, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.
Letting out a sigh Roy backed off from the cat ear, “I'm not going to leave, but why are you getting high while shifted?”
“It’s dumb, and it’s not an excuse.” The kid calmed down a bit, and took a deep breath, “It made my instincts happy, and It felt better that way.”
Roy started rubbing at the tip of Ed’s ear, “What to know what would make my instincts happy?”
“What?”
“Chasing cars. Every time I hear one pass by I just get the urge to jump out the window and go after it.”
Ed let out a small laugh, his ears lifting up, calming down a little bit.
“Yeah yeah laugh it up.” He started petting Ed’s head, “What I’m saying is, there are things that make your instincts happy, but you need to work with them. I may not chase cars, but I allow myself to do other things.”
The kitten pressed himself in the crook of Roy’s neck, “Do you know why I hide my presented parts?”
“You said something about nicknames?”
“That, but so people couldn’t do things like Jones did. I never felt that helpless before, and I guess that if no one knew... “
“No one can use it against you.” Scratching at Ed’s ears, he picked the kid up, and sat him on one of the couches. Letting the kid rest his head in his lap. “I can’t say people wouldn’t use it against you, but It’s less likely than you think.”
“I just don’t like feeling helpless.” Snuggling into Roy a bit, the kitten finally let himself fully start purring, and it was so strong that Roy felt himself shaking. “And I don’t want people to have an idea of the way to make me.”
“I know I sound like a broken record, but if you transform more often, and let yourself do what you did before, your instincts won't be affected by catnip. Well, you’ll be affected, but your instincts won’t want it afterwards.”
I don’t want to hide anymore.
Once again Roy licked the top of Ed’s head. You don’t have to, I can help you.
Closing his eyes Ed smiled a bit, lifted his head, and licked Roy’s hand. I’d like that…
Roy taped his face: Don’t go to sleep just yet, I still have work.
So instead of getting up and leaving, Ed shifted, leaning against his leg. (Young kitten Ed is back in the building.)
“Alright.” Roy got up, picked up the small kitten and gave him one last lick on the forehead. When he sat down he let the kitten settle in his lap. He smiled down at the sleeping form, his animal counterpart feeling at peace.
*
*
“Come on kid, we don’t have all day!” Roy stood outside Ed’s dorm, waiting for him to come out. Ed still had some problems from when he held back on his purring, and was still off of active duty. Apparently holding back a natural reaction could seriously hurt somebody, who would have known? (Everyone but Ed I guess.)
Hold on you bastard!
“Oh yes! Hissing at me will so make me stop!” He couldn’t help the smirk gracing itself on his face. Keep that up and your ears are doomed!
The door swung open revealing Ed without his red coat, his ears and tail on full display. His ears weren't sticking up, and his tail was twitching, but they were still out. “I’ll make you stop.”
Rolling his eyes Roy walked along with his subordinate, having to give a dirty look here and there at the people who would give the kid a weird look. After a bit the kid got a lot more comfortable about his presented parts being on full display, he even started purring! The kid still was uncomfortable about freely showing that he was a presenter, but Roy didn’t mind helping the kid out. So when he got a complaint from one Private Robert Jones about ending up in the hospital about a few broken bones, he had no idea where the paper went! He was a very busy man and he didn’t have time for something like that.