Chapter Text
You walked into the empty cantina the next morning and just as quickly hid behind one of the pillars inside. At the bar was Din, holding the poor bartender by the front of their shirt. They were panicked, and for good reason.
Din spoke, and you heard in his voice an anger, with an undercurrent of fear that you had only heard once before—when you had been shot and he thought you were dead.
“I’ll ask one more time,” he said, “where is she?”
“I don’t know,” cried the bartender. “She was here yesterday, but I don’t know where she is now.”
You, despite every logical part of you screaming at you to stay hidden behind the pillar, stepped out into the room and raised your blaster.
“Let them go,” you said, and you were surprised how calm your voice was. “I’m right here.”
Din released the bartender, who scrambled away, and Din turned so suddenly that you almost squeezed the trigger of your blaster.
“Y/N?” His voice was so quiet and broken that you felt your heart, as shattered as it already was, break even more.
“Heya there, Mando,” you said, lowering your blaster, trying your best to stay casual.
“Why are you here?” you asked.
Complete and utter silence.
You sighed and you turned around to leave.
“The ship was empty without you.”
That simple sentence made the black hole in your chest grow even wider than you knew it was possible.
But you kept a neutral face in spite of the growing distress within you.
“It was empty before I got there,” you said, and started to leave again.
“Wait,” Din called, “Y/N, wait!”
Your façade cracked just a little as his voice broke on your name. A tear fell from your eye and made a small circle in the dust under your feet.
“Why are you here, Din?” you asked, holding back a sob. “Are you here to fight me, to kill me, to turn me in to the Empire?”
“Why would I do that?” he asked, and you scoffed, turning sharply on one foot to face him.
“You know why,” you said, tears blurring your vision. “In the message I left for you, I told you who I really am. You finally know the real me.”
…
The holo message you had left for him had been heartfelt and painful to say. It divulged your past, the one you had been running from for so long. You figured that the Mandalorian deserved to know why you were deserting him.
So you had stood in front of the recording device, taken a deep breath, and said, “Din, I wanted to tell you why I’m leaving the Razor Crest. You have been an amazing friend, but I have ruined whatever trust has been built between us.”
You sighed and with a sad smile at the camera, had said, “I have broken all of my rules from a past life: don’t get attached, don’t make friends, and don’t fall in love.” At that point, a tear had fallen, and you quickly brushed it away. “I used to believe in those rules with every fiber of my being.
“Din, you need to know about my past.
“The reason I hid on Moff Gideon’s ship was because I was running from my past. I didn’t want what was laid out for me, and the lifestyle it entailed.”
You shook your head and with a dry laugh, said, “I’m stalling, aren’t I? I guess I was just hoping you would never find this out about me.
You paused, needing a moment to collect yourself.
“I was a Jedi.” The words rang in the empty air and you felt like you had been punched in the gut. The word ‘Jedi’ was so foriegn to you, yet left such a foul taste in your mouth that you may as well had been calling yourself a Rathtar.
In your hands was your rucksack which you had so preciously guarded from Din’s eyes until this point. You pulled open the drawstring top and slowly drew the tarnished steel weapon from inside it.
“I’m leaving my lightsaber on the control board, as proof, I guess. Maybe I just need to leave it behind.” You sighed, looking down. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry for not telling you before. I was scared, more scared than I’ve ever been. I thought that you would hate me because of it. But I know now that it doesn’t matter. At least this way, it should be easy for you to forget me.”
Tears had clouded your vision so badly that you couldn’t see the cockpit around you, just the bright light of the recorder pointed directly at you.
“Goodbye, Din,” you said through a desperate sob. “Thank you for showing me what home feels like.”
…
“A Jedi is worth a fortune of credits to the Empire,” you said, angrily dashing away tears. Din was motionless in the center of the cantina, and if you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that his body language was straining toward you. But you did know better. He was a Mandalorian. You used to be a Jedi, and as such, were now his enemy.
“Besides,” you said, “you know my two big secrets. My past, and my feelings for you. Everything would be different if I did return to the Razor Crest.”
You stared at him, waiting for a response, then threw your hands in the air.
“If you’re not going to say anything, then I’m leaving. For good.” You couldn’t take it anymore. Every part of you wanted to run to the stupid kriffing Mandalorian. But despite how much you wished you weren’t, you were still a Jedi. The Jedi were Mandalore’s enemy, and on top of that, the Jedi had taken The Child from Din. Why would he want one on his ship?
You turned, determined to leave the cantina and find a ride off this wretched planet.
“Y/N.”
He said it so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him.
But you paused in the door, although you refused to turn around. A tear rolled slowly down your cheek. Why did he have to make this so hard?
“I want things to be different.”
What?
You turned slowly, sure you misheard him.
“What did you say?” you asked, deathly quiet.
Din said, “I told you that I never wanted to be with anyone because it would put a target on their back.”
“I remember,” you said. The conversation was still fresh in your mind.
He chuckled. Why would he do that? You tried not to focus on how familiar, how warm his voice was. Falling in love was a kriffing mess, you decided.
Din shook his head. “It was true. But you… I know you can handle yourself.”
“Me?” You pressed your hands to your head. “Stop screwing with me. What are you saying?” Your heart was pounding. If he was saying what you thought he was saying, then…
“You’re a Jedi,” Din said, and you cut him off.
“I didn’t want to be. That’s why I ran,” you said, anger coloring your voice.
Din just said, “We’re both running from something.”
“What?” you said, annoyed. You were tired; you wanted this conversation to be done. The conversation had turned back to your past, and that was the last thing you wanted to talk about.
He started to walk towards you. “The truth.” The space between you was rapidly becoming far too small, but you stood your ground.
Trying to stay aloof, you rolled your eyes. “Kriff, Mando.” Could this conversation be any more agonizing? His soft voice, his rapidly closing the space between the two of you… your heart was thumping so hard against your rib cage that you almost pressed a hand to your chest.
Din stopped, and he was so close you could see yourself in the reflection of his helmet. “I’m serious, Y/N. You’re running from your past, I’m running from mine. And we’re both running from our feelings.” He paused, looking down for a moment.
“What are you saying?” You meant to snap the words, but they came out soft, broken. Your anger was fading, revealing the heartache beneath it. Your reflection in his helmet looked scared.
“Din, please tell me what you’re thinking. I can’t read your mind,” you said when the silence became too much.
He closed the gap between you and took your hands in his.
“Y/N, stay with me. My feelings for you have grown too deep to be ignored any longer.”
Your mouth moved, but no sound came out. Never did you think that Din could possibly return your feelings for him. Certainly not like this.
You finally gasped out, “What?”
His gloved hands entirely encompassed yours. You wondered what his brown eyes looked like under his helmet. You imagined his brow was furrowed. Maybe there were tears; you didn’t know.
“When I saw you get shot on Nevarro, I thought the world had stopped turning,” he confessed. “Everything froze, and the only thought in my mind was to get to you.” His voice was deathly soft, thick with emotion, piercing you to your core. “I thought you were dead. Rushing you back to the town was all that mattered. I thought you were going to bleed out in my arms.”
One of you was shaking. Maybe it was both of you. You didn’t know.
“When I realized you weren’t on the ship, I realized that I should’ve told you weeks ago how I felt.” He shook his head. “It’s me who should be apologizing. I made you feel like you weren’t welcome on our ship.”
You felt as if you were floating and falling all at the same time. ‘Our’ ship.
Din raised his head and although you couldn’t see his eyes, you knew he was looking into yours.
“Please come home.”
You couldn’t help it—tears began to fall from your eyes, and then you stumbled forward into Din’s arms. He wrapped you safely in his arms and you miserably said through tears, “I shouldn’t have left. I made you worry.”
“I’ll always worry about you, Y/N,” he said, and held you tighter. “But I know you can handle anything the galaxy throws at you.”
…
You pulled away from Din’s embrace, and his gloved hand came up and gently wiped away your tears. It was unbelievable. You were in love with Din Djarin, and he felt the same way for you.
You laughed into his hand and he tilted his head curiously.
“I just can’t believe it,” you said, sniffing back more tears. “I made this a whole big deal for nothing.”
“You’re worth the trouble,” Din said, and you blushed.
His hand brushed over your flaming cheeks. It just made them more red, and he laughed quietly.
“Y/N, my blushing girl.”
The butterflies you felt were truly out of control at that point. You pressed your face into his hand to hide the blush, unsuccessfully of course.
“Come on, the ship is waiting for you,” Din said, and held out not his arm, but his hand for you to take.
With wide eyes, you looked from his visor to his outstretched hand. You tried not to tremble as you took it, but it was alright—Din was shaking too.
The glove was rough between your fingers, but Din squeezed your hand and everything else faded away. Your heart pounded as you left the cantina. What had seemed impossible 24 hours ago was real.
It seemed the galaxy didn’t have it out for you after all.
…
You walked into the Razor Crest and something that had been misaligned deep inside you settled into place. You were home.
Din came up behind you and put a hand on your back. You froze for a moment at the unfamiliar touch, then relaxed into it. You set down your rucksack, which you had retrieved from your room above the cantina, and pulled Din into a hug. You were nervous about this new dynamic between the two of you, but it was also exciting. You could finally be yourself with him, no hidden past, no repressed feelings. You had walked hand in hand back to the ship, through the town. It had felt strange, but welcome. He was truly yours.
“Come on, Y/N,” he said, the hatch closing with a hiss behind the two of you. “We’ve got a Moff to find.”
You smiled. Yeah, you thought to yourself, this was going to be a fun trip.