Chapter Text
His lungs make a whistling noise each time he takes air.
Touya is woken up by the beeping sounds of the machines surrounding him.
He can’t remember what happened, not really, but he remembers his fury. He remembers starting a fight he didn’t know how to end.
He remembers the smell of his own skin burning.
He remembers…
He remembers Enji, standing in front of him, blocking the attacks.
He remembers mom shouting something and then… Shouto crying. Touya didn’t turn around to see what had happened. He only remembers that his cry of pain made him even angrier. And then, everything went dark.
And now he was here: with bandages around his arms and legs. Maybe his face, as well.
“Mom?” he mumbled when he saw her asleep on a chair, next to him. On the bed, laying on his lap, is Shouto. But- something’s not right. There’s… covering one of his eyes, there’s a bandage. There’s a bandage on Shouto’s face.
He raised a hand, to look underneath, but he didn’t dare move the compress. If he was hurt, there was a risk of infection if he touched it with his bare hands, he reminded himself.
“He didn’t want to be away from you.”
Touya looked up and found his mother awake. There were bags under her eyes. She looked very tired. By her side, Fuyumi and Natsuo were asleep on the couch. It was probably very late, he thought as he looked down at his little brother. Gently, Touya sank his fingers on Shouto’s hair. The red looked even brighter against his bandaged hands.
“What happened?” Touya asked.
“You… had an accident,” she said, looking down at her hands. From here, she looked very small, he thought.
“Dad… he hurt Shouto. He hurt you,” he said, frowning.
“I’m so sorry, Touya!” she said, shaking her head. “I should- I should’ve protected the two of you better…”
It was so strange, Touya thought, to see his mother crying. He had never seen her cry. Ever since he could remember, he saw his parents as these… unmoving symbols of strength and endurance. It never occurred to him that they were able to cry or even make mistakes, so it was bizarre to see both parents fall from that pedestal almost at the same time.
“Mom… what happened to Shouto?” he asked, again.
“He… he ran towards the two of you. I wasn’t fast enough; I couldn’t stop him… it was an accident,” she said, before breaking into tears, once more.
No, he wanted to say, it was my fault. He couldn’t protect Shouto, he couldn’t protect mom. No wonder why dad would never let him be a hero. No wonder why he didn’t want to do anything with him anymore. He was weak.
But if it was his fault, it was also Enji’s, Touya thought, putting a hand on Shouto’s back and bringing him closer. He had trusted him, and that was a mistake he wouldn’t do again.
Having a fire quirk and two sons with third degree burns in the hospital didn’t look good.
Luckily, none of that was public knowledge and, when the social worker showed up in his office in the agency, Enji was relieved to see it was an old friend of his.
It was easier to explain that Touya had lost control of his quirk and ended up hurting himself and his brother in the process. The boy had some problems controlling his emotions in the past, he was jealous of his brother and ended up snapping.
He had never seen Touya so out of it, Enji said, shaking his head, face on his hands.
Accidents like those were not common, but she had seen enough to know it was nobody’s fault. So just to be safe, Nadeshiko made him take Touya to a counselor. Such a young boy acting that violently was a warning sign that shouldn’t be overlooked, she said, before standing up and shaking his hand.
He signed some his statement and Nadeshiko gave him a cart. An old acquittance of them had studied psychology and specialized in young people.
Enji looked down at the card and nodded. He remembered Himura, he was a competent man. He made an appointment on the phone before Nadesihiko left.
And that was it.
It took him a month to heal, but nothing went back to what it used to.
His arms and back were now a permanent shade of red, the same as Shouto’s left eye, and his jaw felt stiff whenever he talked or smiled. Honestly, Touya didn’t mind too much, the scars were ugly, but they didn’t even hurt anymore, not in a physically, at least. They were simply a painful reminder.
After he was released from the hospital, he had to take his meds and go talk with a psychiatrist for a while.
He didn’t talk a lot during their sessions. He didn’t see why he needed to see the doc, it’d be useless. After everything that had happened, Enji was still living with them.
At least he wasn’t allowed near Shouto anymore. It wasn’t anyone’s orders; it was simply that he didn’t dare come close to him. Not yet, at least, but Touya knew it was only a matter of time. It always was.
Enji’s promises were empty, now he could see that. At least he was spending more time out, locking himself in his office and doing extra hero work.
Touya scoffed. Enji didn’t seem like much of a hero to him anymore.
Useless. Enji, and everyone else.
It was up to him, he decided, to take care of his family. Enji was a liar who couldn’t be trusted and their mother… she wasn’t strong enough. He hated that he knew that, but he couldn’t deny it. She wouldn’t have let him come home if she was strong enough. Her hands wouldn’t tremble each time his steps came close to the kitchen or the living room or wherever they were, if she was.
Endeavor was an imposing figure, so he couldn’t blame her, not really.
Touya couldn’t blame Shouto, either, for running into his room and hide under his desk whenever Enji was home.
A small part of him felt proud of himself, for being the person Shouto felt safe with.
Even if Enji himself hadn’t noticed, he had taught Touya one useful thing: that he wanted to protect people, and that he couldn’t trust the system or even his parents to keep him and his siblings safe.
The others could see it, too. Touya wasn’t sure at what extent, but he noticed the way Fuyumi offered to make dinner with mom or the way Natsu never let anyone alone in one room or how Shouto was always holding one of his legs.
Enji was avoiding his family. That was fine since they were avoiding him too.
He didn’t know what to say or how to start, so he didn’t say anything at all. He was confident they could all forget about this, they just needed… space. And Enji would give it to them. In no time, they’d understand. Touya’s tantrum wasn’t his fault. They had over reacted, Shouto needed to become stronger to become a hero, of course, it wasn’t pleasant, Enji didn’t enjoy watching Shouto crying, but when he was older, he would understand. Once he was facing a villain stronger than him, he’d be grateful to his father for teaching him how to keep fighting no matter what.
But then, Rei had walked in and Touya had followed her and he… exploded. He wasn’t even sure how Touya had managed to burn himself like that without crying of pain, but a part of him was convinced it had been thanks to his early training. Touya really had a lot of potential, but he had no time to marble on it because, out of nowhere, Touya was throwing himself at him, flames wild and uncontrollable as he tried to hit him.
Enji was bigger than him, he could’ve stopped him without troubles, but he was too surprised to act right away. He only had enough time to raise his arms to protect his face, guided by his muscle memory than anything else.
One of Touya’s hits bounced off him and hit Shouto on the face. It was his cry of pain what made him react and reached over to hold Touya’s body. He had passed out in his arms and, soon, they were all driving straight to the hospital.
Since then, he spent most of his time in the office or taking extra hours. That afternoon, though, he was on his way to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea when he heard her on the phone.
Rei was crying, he realized.
“…I can’t even look at him, mom,” she said. “Do you know how burnt skin smells like? Because I do! That- People shouldn’t know that kind of thing!”
A pause.
“I can’t- just- let us stay with you for a couple of days. I don’t feel safe- No- I- I know. I know he is a hero. No, you don’t understand…”
Enji frowned and raised a hand to open the door, but a tiny hand stopped him. Shouto was looking up at him with a small frown. It’d be cute if it wasn’t so strange, to see someone so small with an expression like that.
“Shouto…” Enji said, shaking his head, but before he could say anything else, Natsuo was standing there, too.
“There you are, Sho. We were looking for you” he said, trying to sound casual, but Enji could see the tension on his shoulders. Even when he was younger, Natsuo was taller than Touya, he noticed.
“I thought I heard mommy…” Shouto mumbled, looking down at his feet. Enji wanted to tell him to raise his head. It was shameful to look that weak in front of others, but Natsuo’s glare stopped him.
“Let’s go with Touya, and ‘Yumi, alright? We can make a castle with cards,” he said, picking Shouto up and taking him away before the boy could protest.
What a mess, Enji thought, shaking his head. Suddenly, he wasn’t thirsty anymore. Inside the kitchen, he could hear the kettle whistling.
It kept shrilling until he reached his office and closed the door behind him.
Enji didn’t come back home the next morning.
Touya knew he had been working and coming back late but, that morning, he was nowhere to be seen.
When the week ended and he hadn’t returned, Touya got the feeling he wasn’t going to come back. Slowly, as the days kept passing, everyone started to breathe a bit easier, but Touya couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling nesting in his chest.
To begin with, he was certain that, in his father’s absence, he was now the man of the house. He was the eldest and mom couldn’t take care of them, in fact, she barely came out of her room. She got out now and then, but she wasn’t there with them, so it was up to him to make sure everyone was safe, starting with Shouto. Fuyumi was only a year younger than him and Natsuo could take care of himself, but Shouto was still a little boy.
The three of them had an unspoken agreement and, soon, they had a routine ready. Fuyumi woke up to help with breakfast while Touya helped his brothers get ready for school.
On a good day, mom would come out of the room and prepare them lunch boxes. On a bad day, Touya would help Fuyumi.
It was a lot of work, but it was… nice. Maybe it was wrong to think that way, but he felt necessary. The four of them worked like a non-oiled machine, like an old clock: it wasn’t perfect, and it made weird noises, but it moved and that was all they needed.
Shouto should’ve started preschool a couple of years ago, anyway, so it was good for him to catch up, talk to other kids.
“If they say something mean about your eye, tell them your big brother will punch them in the face, alright?” Touya said as he helped him secure the yellow hat on his head.
“Touya! Don’t say that!” said Fuyumi. “Just be nice and they’ll be nice to you, Shouto. I’m sure will make a lot of friends.”
Shouto nodded, but neither of them was sure who he was agreeing with.
“Natsuo will pick you up, so wait for him and don’t wander around. If a stranger talk to you?”
“I freeze them and run?”
“You freeze them and run,” Touya repeated with a nod. “Sounds like he’s ready to me.”
“You ready, champ?” asked Natsuo, picking his bag. Kids Shouto’s age should be ready to go to school on their own by now but, unlike Fuyumi and Natsuo, Shouto had skipped pre-school to start his training. It was one of the first things they changed around once it was clear Enji wasn’t going to come back any time soon.
And that was Touya’s second worry. He didn’t want to believe it, but he was almost certain dad had abandoned them.
“I’ll pick you up by the gate, so wait for me, even if I take longer, you wait for me.” Natsuo said as he put on his bag.
Touya was already in junior high school, so Fuyumi and he took the bus, while Natsuo could walk from the elementary school.
At night, it was up to them to prepare dinner, work on their homework and shower.
As they walk together on their way back home from his counselor’s office, Touya feels more like he’s the one holding his mother’s hand rather than her holding his.
Lately, mom’s been acting a little off, but he doesn’t blame her. She’s… weak, like that. She couldn’t protect them when things were hard and she’s not able to protect them now.
The difference is that Touya knows that he can stand up for them. Before this, he wanted to be a hero to prove his father he was strong enough, that he was deserving of his love but now? Now he wanted to protect people out of spite. He wanted to show him that he could help others, defective quirk or not. He’d defend mom and his siblings if he had to.
He hadn’t mentioned that to his counselor. He didn’t seem why, he was one of his dad’s friends and, in the end, how could he know if he wasn’t repeating whatever he said to Enji?
No, Touya couldn’t trust in anyone but his siblings. He wanted to protect them, even if he burned himself down, in the process.
Always alert, as he looked at both side of the street before helping his mother cross, Touya noticed something strange.
“Mom?” Touya called, frowning, as he kept his eyes fixed on the other side. “Why is that boy walking alone?”
With his head down and his hands trembling against his chest, the boy couldn’t be older than Natsu.