Chapter Text
pragma; practical love
Logic is used to determine compatibility and future prospects. They a place a high importance in whether a potential mate will be suited to meeting their needs. They might wonder if their prospective partner would be good with money. Sexual attraction takes a back seat in favour of personal qualities and compatibilities, shared goals, and "making it work".
Things change after they get together. Felix can’t handle himself anymore whenever Changbin is concerned. He thinks he’s bursting at the seams every time they’re in the same room together.
But the cameras are everywhere, so he’s forced to hide it, only allowing himself to let go when he knows they’re alone, lying together in his room.
“Hyung,” he says one night when they’re making out in his bed. “Do you love me?”
Changbin’s eyebrows furrow at the sudden question. He stops kissing Felix’s neck.
“Why are you asking?,” he says after a pause.
Felix shrugs nonchalantly, trying to hide his nervousness. He doesn’t know if he succeeds.
“I just want to know,” he says.
For a while Changbin doesn’t say anything, he just looks down at Felix with an expression Felix can’t read. After a while he lays back down, on Felix’s side. There’s an awkward silence before Changbin finally replies.
“I don’t think love is the right word,” he says. “I just really like you.”
“Oh,” Felix says. He pretends not to be disappointed.
That had been days ago, but even now Felix can’t help but be clingy, already resigning himself to the fact that this is who he is now. How he is.
Changbin notices, but he doesn’t say anything. He just lets Felix be. Felix wants to be angry that the other hardly seems to care when Felix himself can hardly keep his hands away. But he knows it’s the only practical way to handle things, and Changbin has always been more mature of them with something like this.
It leaves Felix at loose ends though, that Changbin seems so level-headed. Felix wonders if it’s even fair.
It drives Felix particularly crazy when Changbin acts as if he doesn’t belong to Felix already. That he didn’t just agree to be with Felix months ago while they were kissing on Felix’s bed. (High off of oxygen deprivation, maybe, but still.)
So Felix will hiss and glare but it doesn’t stop Changbin from getting handsy with Hyunjin, or holding onto Jeongin’s arm. It shouldn’t mean anything, Felix is almost sure Hyunjin and Jeongin don’t even care, but that just makes it all the more infuriating. That Changbin seems to so freely give them the attention Felix craves, even when they don’t want it.
It’s a good thing he has Minho. Who, for the most part, shares in his problems. Felix isn’t sure if Minho-hyung likes Jisung-hyung or not, but in any case he gets very territorial over him, which Felix understands. And since Minho only likes Jisung, he never touches Changbin, so Felix considers him an ally.
They hang out, once in a while. Felix knows Minho favors him over the other members, and that makes Felix happy. It’s not easy to get on his good side. (You can ask Seungmin.)
Though maybe that’s not fair. Minho likes all of them. Felix and Jisung are just the only ones he has a soft spot for. Maybe it’s the baby energy fans always talk about.
Felix rooms with Minho for their Japanese tour, and though he would have loved to switch rooms and be with whoever got Changbin, this time they are being filmed. It’s all to give the fans more content and hotel room interactions are especially loved. Jisung is rooming with Hyunjin this time, if Felix is not mistaken, and the stormy expression on Minho’s face makes it pretty clear how Minho feels about that.
Felix himself is pretty bummed out, but Minho is worse off, seeing how handsy and affectionate Jisung gets with people, and Hyunjin especially. So Felix does what any good dongsaeng would do and glomps Minho in the bed, despite his protests.
Minho ends up pinning Felix to the bed for messing with him, and the heavy atmosphere dissipates.
They sleep separately in their beds. Minho might have a spot soft for him, but he isn’t the type to cuddle. (Unless you’re Han Jisung.)
The next day when they’re given some time to freely see the city they all opt to walk around and see sights. Not everyone wants to go the same place though so the group ends up splitting up. Seungmin and Hyunjin go to see the museums and other tourist attractions. Jeongin and Chan went on a food trip to try all the Japanese food because they’re gluttons. It leaves Jisung, Minho, Felix, and Changbin to their own devices.
At first Felix thinks it’s good, since they all get along and are close. But Jisung and Changbin keep arguing over where to go. Mostly because Jisung is impatient and Changbin is taking too long to decide.
“Hyung just pick Tokyo Tower or Meiji Jingu,” Jisung pushes, making Changbin even more nervous.
“I don’t know! Give me a minute.”
Jisung groans. He turns to Minho, giving up on Changbin entirely.
“Do you want to go to Akihabara with me?,” he asks. “It’s not too far from here and I want anime stuff.”
Minho shrugs, not really minding. Changbin looks less enthused.
“I don’t want to get dragged along with you two to your nerdy things,” he complains.
Jisung tsks, rolling his eyes. “Then go somewhere else, hyung and I are going.”
With that Jisung takes Minho’s arm and drags him in the direction of the nearest station, leaving Changbin and Felix together.
Changbin huffs.
“That brat,” he says. “He didn’t even give me time to decide.”
He looks down at the ground, kicking at nothing.
“I don’t take that long,” he mutters defensively, before looking up at Felix. “Do I?”
Felix shrugs.
He takes out his phone where he’d listed down the sites he wanted to see and where they were located.
He shows it to Changbin, with pictures and descriptions attached and Changbin’s mouth forms into a small ‘o’ of surprise.
“You planned ahead?,” he asked. Felix nods.
“I always take too long to decide too. That’s why I like to plan a few days ahead where to go.”
Changbin’s eyes narrow down at the list, he crosses his arms over his chest.
“You should just pick based on your feelings, if you want to go somewhere at the moment then you go.”
Felix just chuckles, amused. “And how about money? How do you budget it?”
“No need to budget,” Changbin says, because of course he does. “Just bring enough money for whatever.”
He looks at Felix for a moment before nudging him on the side good-naturedly.
“You don’t need to plan everything you know.”
Felix doesn’t know. Felix is the type to like having everything planned beforehand, but maybe Changbin just operates differently. He lets it slide.
They decide on going to a shrine together. It looks very atmospheric and beautiful in the photograph. Tokyo is mostly like every other city Felix has gone to, so it’s nice to go someplace that feels distinct to Japan. If Felix could have had it his way he would have chosen the more rural areas like Osaka or Saitama, where Japanese culture is everywhere. But since this is for their concert Tokyo was the first choice.
When they get there they’re surprised by the number of people outside the shrine.
“What the hell?,” Felix says aloud. He looks to Changbin and his eyes are widened in surprise. “What’s going on?”
They go in out of curiosity and get squeezed close together by the crowd. As they go along they see large statues of.. are those penises?
Felix blushes and a quick look to his side shows Changbin with an expression of utter horror on his face. Normally Felix would find it hilarious but the more he looks around the more he sees people selling candies and popsicles in the shape of what are definitely penises and he decides to grab Changbin’s shoulder and get them the hell out of there.
Once they’ve ushered themselves out the exit Felix bursts out in laughter.
In what universe is this a thing? Why does Japan’s shrine have statues of dicks? Australia had dick statues too, dont get him wrong, but people weren’t walking around with candied dicks in their mouths and in a shrine no less-
“What the fuck Felix,” Changbin says, accusatory. “You didn’t tell me we were going to a cock festival.”
Felix shakes his head, quickly google searching the shrine they just exited, and coming up with an event called “Kanamara Matsuri”, which apparently translates to ‘Festival of the Steel Phallus’.
Felix shuts his eyes and laughs again, holding his sides. He hopes no one noticed it was them. The last thing they need is an article to pop up that Stray Kids’ Members Felix and Changbin went to a phallus festival together.
“What’re you laughing at?!,” Changbin says seriously.
When Felix just continues laughing Changbin huffs.
“You’re crazy, you know that? Taking me there, I could strangle you,” is what he says, but he’s smiling too, so Felix knows he’s safe.
They go home after stopping at a maid cafe for a snack and when they get back Minho and Jisung are in Felix’s room with bags of what Felix assumes are manga and merchandise.
“How was your trip?,” Jisung asks idly from his spot on the floor. He has pieces of an incomplete action figure that he’s attempting to assemble. “Did you guys decide where to go?”
Changbin just replies with a short, “we went to a shrine”, ears impossibly red. Felix laughs to himslf which makes Changbin shoot him a glare.
Jisung narrows his eyes but goes back to arranging his new action figures without further questioning. He and Minho work on assembling the figures mechanically, as if completely in sync, and not for the first time Felix thinks of how good they fit together. He only hopes he and Changbin can be like that.
Changbin nudges him with a shoulder.
“Let’s go to Jisung’s room,” he says, nudging his head in the direction of the door when Felix turns to him. “Hyunjin isn’t back yet, and they’re taking up the whole place anyway.”
When Felix nods Changbin steals the card key from Jisung’s pocket making Jisung hiss at him, but they manage to go to the other room without dilemma.
They keep their hands to themselves, as the camera in the hotel room is still functioning, just enjoying each other’s company. When Changbin turns on the TV they idly watch some reality show about finding people’s perfect match, making comments about who will end up with who and mostly getting them right.
When Felix turns to Changbin Changbin’s eyes are focused firmly on the screen, so he discreetly lays his head on Changbin’s shoulder.
“I like you, hyung,” he says, low enough that the camera won’t pick it up. “I really, really like you.”
Changbin makes no movement, but he says it back.
“I like you too, Felix.”