Chapter Text
You’re tearing up as you remember the things that have happened in the past years with Toji and your son, Megumi. Feeling the pain and the agony as you look back on the cherished days, running on a loop inside your boggled mind like a broken record that keeps on repeating the same line over and over again without finishing the whole piece—it was heartbreakingly frustrating.
The look in your eyes whenever you glanced towards your son, smiling cheerfully against the arms of his papa while they both play with his divine dogs who were puppies in that time in which he is fully fond of, thinking they were some strays and Megumi even asked both parents if he could keep them as his friends.
With his eyes glistening with pure joy and earnestness of keeping both puppies, how could you even say no?
You quietly weep from loss of hope and longing from their love. Your chest is crushing you down to your core as you continued crawling towards the silhouette from afar, disregarding the pain by your desire to look at the slightly moving shadow across you.
Clenching your jaw and enduring the pain, you kept crawling the endless distance between you and that person, guessing it's your son. “Gumi? Baby?” You screamed out of desperation, voice cracking but still, you get to force it out your mouth.
It has been years since you last saw them both and for sure, Megumi has grown well, becoming a wise, young man he is like his father. Tall and sturdy like when he was still a kid, always ready to conquer the upcoming tomorrow.
More tears have begun running down the paleness of your flushed cheeks as you whimpered from pain but continued crawling anyway.
“Gumi?” letting out another desperate cry. At least before the clock struck twelve, but instead of meeting your prince charming, you get to see this handsome, young man who is your son, however, instead of the letting name ‘Gumi’ escape your lips, the scream of a cursed spirit came out instead, letting out a loud schwaaah! Capturing the young lad’s attention.
Animals all over the forest have gone wild from your loud shriek, trees have turned dim and you were moaning loudly with such deadly pants and wails out of despair and frustration but before you even got onslaught by Megumi’s divine dogs, you were sniffed by them and waited for Megumi to get to be near you. Though their ears are all perked up, being alert and cautious, they seem to recognize you, knowing you were the mother of their master, giving you sniffs all over your disfigured body and a bit of lick here and there.
On the other hand, an unacknowledged thought lingered around his mind since he is the one controlling his divine dogs since they are technically a cursed technique meaning, the dogs are not fully independent and it was him who's being cautious around you, hesitating to give you a sudden attack because of his questionable feelings.
Although you were all disfigured, they are able to highly recognize someone through their distinct scent coming from their personality and intention, not from the odor caused by your body since they are still dogs.
But you were shaking, confused, and yearning. You were not human anymore which is why you never went back to Megumi and you discontinued your search for Toji. Your limbs are all over the place and you are now just a cursed spirit waiting to be exorcised.
A man whose name is said to be Mahito was the one who did this to you, with his cursed technique: 'Idle Transfiguration', you were reshaped by him into a curse but luckily, you got transformed without being brainless. You still have your senses and memories.
As the young man hurriedly sprinted towards you to once again, attempt to attack, you closed your eyes trying to accept the beautiful blessing of fate, being killed by your one and only son. A tear has dropped once more from your quivering pupil, you are more than thankful and lucky, for the fate letting you meet your son is more than you ever asked for, you never missed a second for thanking the heavens thinking about how it is better to die from the hands of the one you gave birth to.
Megumi’s attack, however, was stopped by a young lad of the same age with pink, spiky hair. “Wait, Fushiguro!” yelling while holding down the pale, trembling arms of your son.
His breath was shaky which is unlikely and he is in pain. Something inside him is holding him back from doing any further attacks towards you like he is being sucked by some magnetic force within him making his body act on its own, not by his own free will.
You were silently sobbing into the shape of a curse, laid flatly on the muddy surface filled with weeds and sticks. “The curse…” the pink-haired mumbled. “it’s crying” while looking into you with such sorrowful look before averting back his direction towards your son. Your eyes were glistening with hot tears, making it shine against the lit of the moonlight.
Megumi, standing not that far from you, silently traveled his curious eyes towards your disfigured body, trying to puzzle out the confusion inside his chest. What is with this curse, he thought but after a bit of contemplation, he yelled loudly, with such a depressing scream coming from the depths of his chest wanting to be free.
Muttering something and he is suddenly holding a wooden instrument used for curses, reminding you of the past when you were still of youth exorcising curses with a gun in your hand, however, for Megumi, he preferred swords and simple yet sturdy objects such as the wooden instrument he’s holding and rushed his way towards you for an ambush attack after making his resolve, setting aside his fueled emotions raging inside his mourning heart.
Things got escalated too quickly but before you even get to grasp the next happenings, your eyes were shut close out of instinct while still prepared for the gift of pain given by your bundle of joy but to your surprise, a minute has already passed by yet you have not felt anything, just the dances of the winds, swaying you with its chilly breeze.
Slowly opening your eyes, you saw Megumi having a hard time breathing while his whole figure trembled out of grief, head perked downwards, looking directly into your wandering eyes with such wavered gaze as the both of his hands stopped just right above his head. He is about to let you taste his fuming anguish in just one blow.
“M-“ Voice cracking and started to shake as you try to speak his name. Embarrassment has been poured down your soul. You certainly did not want your son to see you in such a state. “M-Megumi” softly spoken, trying not to meet the gaze of his in order for you not to break down.
“Yo, the curse said your name!” and the pink-haired boy kept on spanking the pitiful back of your son out of shock. “Itadori,” He said with a warn under his tone and groaned afterward when he realized that his friend won't stop doing the exaggerated patting and swatted his overly-excited hands. “Should we tell this to Gojo?” and was ignored by Megumi since his interest has been captured by the weak, wound-filled curse that is laying on a muddy puddle.
The black-haired teenager scratched the back of his head trying to stop himself from missing his mama. Out of all times, why did he suddenly remember the warmth and comfort brought by his mama whenever she’s near him? Sniffing his clogged nose, he successfully held back his urge to cry and tries his best to calm his throbbing chest filled with unidentified longing.
The mother he wanted to be with for a long time suddenly vanished after the father he adores vanished as well and until now, not that he has not heard any news regarding any of his parents, he just stopped processing every information laid out to him when it comes to that sensitive topic about his parents. His mind has been set about his made-up fact that they went away and left him alone.
How badly he wanted to scream on top of his lungs the name of his mama and throw her questions as to why he was left alone, was he unloved? Was he not enough? Maybe his divine dogs that kept on popping back then scared you since he thought his parents are different than him? Why? Unanswered questions kept piling up on top of each other, some are made when he was young, some are made when he began his first Jujutsu activity at the Jujutsu High, and some are made at the very moment.
He felt his lips quivering as he held on the shoulders of Itadori for support. His knees seem to start wobbling, betraying him “You,” he said in an undertone. “Who are you” the question made you look up to him.
You finally get to noticed how he got Toji's facial features but less rough, his eyes were screaming of long-term yearning as he kept on trying his best not to burst out of warm tears in front of you and spat out nonsensical statements of ache and need making you wish you could hug him and whisper to him nothing else but the utterance of love, hoping it would be enough to make up for the lost time. Looking at him more, it was like hearing an orchestral piece where it gradually fades in as it starts building up the intensity of their painful-filled yet yearning piece by placing the soft, mellow lullabies which became very messy at the bridge, coming from the keys of the piano and topping it with the loud cries of the violin, leading the listener as it goes along the ends of the masterpiece, cradling you with its sorrowful yet comforting melody as the perfect shade of light pats his head as it shines out, making him even more beautiful as he is.
Toji, Jesus, Toji, I love you. I love our son- he's as beautiful as you like the time when we first met. It was also around some forest. Am I that loved by mother nature? But jokes aside, he is a spitting image of you and I just can't help but love the both of you more, Toji, what am I gonna do?
“I…” it’s hard to speak when your throat is choking itself. “I am no one” thinking it’s better not to suddenly jump into his life once more, letting him believe all the possible bad ideas about his parents is more accepting than letting him know that his mama has turned into a useless and worthless curse.
The wind has brought another cold breeze with such spine-chilling air and it was the only sound to be heard. Megumi has not uttered a single thing yet, still confused with his mixed feeling of wanting to just be cuddled by the curse as he screams his frustrations out loud and cried.
Another frustrating groan has escaped his lips as he screamed “Then why!” which freaked Itadori out. “Yo, dude, what?” but kept on patting his divine dogs while saying things such as “who’s a good boy?” and showering them pecks all over the furry face.
“Why are you...” a huge lump has formed inside his throat which made it harder for him to speak out.
“No,” you said with eyes closed, feeling embarrassed to be seen in this state by your son.
“So, it is you,” he said in a whisper, almost about to crash into you in a form of a tight embrace. You moved your head from left to right, denying his statement as your reply to him while sobbing loudly.
The young man stepped back away from you, feeling rejected by his mother. “Why do you keep denying it!” the birds all over have flapped their wings open and flew somewhere quieter. Megumi’s voice kept failing him as it cracks every time he uses force to raise his voice in which shredded your heart into pieces--I have failed as a mother, Toji.
“I waited" he paused as he grasps for air before continuing "The windows were open, the doors were not locked in case you or papa might come back. I made sure your purple cup was clean always, I never went inside the basement because papa never wanted it touched, right?" He scoffed as loud as his aching cries. "I even learned how to cook your guac toast! And I behaved really well like how papa taught me! I…” his whimpers were delivered straight to you as his knees betrayed him, making him kneel while he burst his emotions out through his eyes, shouting all the hidden and unacknowledged feelings as it got freed from his caged chest.
Slightly taken aback, you never thought that your collected child would explode like this in front of you, making you feel all sorts of tormenting pain as his deafening cries echoed in your mind, penetrating more the large hole in your chest.
“I missed you and papa, just..." he sniffed and wiped his warm tears. "come back” his whisper was loud and clear as your chest was getting stabbed by your son’s words as his voice and sobs gradually got weaker. Inconsistent hiccups replaced his loud sobs. “Look, I’m like you and papa now, see?” and his hand made a bunny-like shape, and a fluffy white bunny has appeared in front of you, tilting its head towards the right, acting all cutesy just like how bunnies are.
“Mama, I am a sorcerer as well!” feeling proud of himself in the hopes of these executions might persuade you to come back home to him but to his dismay, base on the emptiness of your stare, he already found out the answer to his desperate plead and shouted out words of curses, blaming it on fate and the clan. You can’t help but quietly blame the clans as well for ruining the life you dreamt for your family.
Itadori’s mouth was left agape, never expecting to see his usually composed friend break down into tears and heaving sobs, acting like a different person, like the kid he was then and suddenly, the image of his late friend has appeared in his mind, smiling widely at him making Itadori remember that friend of his who died from his hands. He looked away and never spat a single word to give the both of you privacy, knowing the fate handed to you and Megumi was the same fate he faced with him and his friend, Junpei.
“You have grown so much” you weakly beamed him a smile that reminded him of how his mama would usually smile at him every morning. “But aren’t you disgusted by me? Open your eyes, baby, this…” as you emphasized your body in front of the weeping boy, “Would you want this as your mama?” you said in a weak tone.
“You are still my mom that I cherish whole-heartedly” the pain in his heart that never once left, ached even more. Why on earth do you have to say that in front of him? He wouldn’t care anymore if you are a curse or not, he just wanted you and his father to come back home, come back to him.
Looking back at him, he inhaled a deep breath and let it out to at least ease his chest. “Your father-“ which was suddenly cut off by Megumi “I know. A specific someone told me about that for at least 50 times already,” he said referring to his teacher, Gojo Satoru.
You gasped though you have heard the news about Toji being dead, it still shocked you especially hearing it coming from your son. “Jesus…” you exclaimed as your voice starts to change its pitch, making it sounds more like shrieking curses. Hearing the confirmation from the mouth of your son never reached you. You thought you'd be ready once you confirmed that Toji has passed—dead. But, to hear the information from your son is wrecking you to your core.
“How” with a cracking voice coming from the young lad, pertaining to what has happened to you while quickly wiping his tears using the back of his palm, thanking the heavens of how dim the current state of the sky is.
“Just because” you tried to regain control of your voice before continuing, “mama loves you dearly” and the pink-haired boy’s head sprung up, his ears have quirked, making him listen more into the conversation shared between you and Megumi feeling more and more pitiful. He was hurt when his friend died, how much more for his Megumi since it's his mother he's dealing with, not just some recently made friend like his.
“Mama and Papa left because there are things needed to be finished for our baby” you continued when a sudden storm of burn gushed inside your body, making you quelch out of the stinging effect it brought which was soon noticed by the young man who hurriedly got up and rushed towards your shivering figure and without noticing, his eyes have yet again showered a great number of tears, seeing you in that state.
As much as you don’t have the strength to catch the falling tears from his face, you also don’t even have hands, to begin with. All you have are broken legs and a set of huge lumps acting as your arms without fingers—what a huge piece of shit, you thought, feeling pitiful towards yourself but nonetheless, you still channeled your radiant smile towards the panicked boy, assuring him that things could never get better than being cradled by your son.
But how could you smile like this when you are covered in bruises and you are whimpering out of pain, Megumi thought, cuddling you more towards him and freeing his untouched emotions to flow all over his body, letting it swallow him whole, making him shake out of pain, overwhelmed joy, and longing.
“He would’ve teased you so badly if he saw you like this” you chuckled as you pertain to your husband, being a tease as he is. The young lad shook his head as a sign of disagreement. He knew what you were talking about. His father used to tease him a lot when he was young.
People kept asking him about his dad but he does not remember what he looked like nor who he is. All he ever said was “I don’t know” or “don’t wanna know him” in a monotonous voice though deep inside, he knew his father is already dead.
But from that statement of yours, it’s like you pulled a trigger from his memory, letting him reminisce all the memories he has with Toji, his papa.
He was such a big and intimidating man with straight hair and a scar on his cheek.
He would tend to scare off the people when he reached his turn at the counter while ordering a happy meal at McDonald's for Megumi.
He would often carry Megumi on his shoulder and spin themselves around in circles while the both of them hold their guts before they vomit their whole intestine out from their crazy doings which made you scold Toji for letting Megumi do his animalistic said-to-be 'child' activities.
He would pinch his son's nose until Megumi’s out of breath and you would scold them both including the young one even though Megumi didn’t do anything.
Megumi would often catch his papa stealing a kiss on his mama’s lips which made him envy but did not tell otherwise.
All kinds of distinct memories from his younger days suddenly lit up in his core memory inside his brain which made him tremble from sobbing. How could he forget such great father?
Itadori suddenly went beside the both of you and started patting Megumi’s back letting him know that he is not alone and he is here as he knew the end game of this situation. He, who also experienced these specific circumstances, knew how hard it is to be the one to exorcise the one they cherished; however, the difference now is that back then, he is alone, but Itadori is here with him. He will not leave his side.
You looked at the pink-haired boy and smiled at him, thankful enough to know that your reserved son has met a very good and bubbly friend, giving him a sincere smile in which he returned twice as bigger than yours, even showing his teeth off which made you chuckled.
“Will you leave again?” He whispered, making you turn your attention towards him, placing his head on top of yours. He misses his mama so bad that he does not care if he is acting like a four-year-old again, acting clingy.
“No, mama is here” and placed the large limb of yours on his face, softly brushing his face like how you did when he was young making him lean more against your rough limbs, assuring him through your actions “sorry if mama looked like this” you sighed.
“Mama was never and will never be ugly” Megumi smiled at you making him look very similar to his father—the younger version of Toji.
“Don’t hate your papa, okay” you said. “He did what he thought was right” and Megumi nodded, not really taking in what you said about his papa. He only wanted you to shower him your affection.
You once again, felt that prickly burns running wild in your insides. “Megumi,” Itadori, with a sad smile and looked at you while trying to pull the whining Megumi away, “I’ll take care of him” he softly assured you.
You thanked Itadori and continued gazing at the beautiful view in your front. Your son, trying to remove Itadori’s grasps in his shoulder made you laugh as he looked like a kid whose lollipop got stolen and his friend is trying to calm him down but, in his eyes, he is filled with longing, looking at you so hard, he might pierce a whole on your head.
Though you won't be seeing your son again, you never felt this happy and complacent knowing he still has a lot more things to discover and opportunities to welcome. He could also experience the unexplainable beauty of the exhilarating feeling of falling in love with someone just like how you did with Toji, experience the feeling of great success, unexpectedly meeting a rowdy bunch but never thought they'll be with you through thick or thin, or even feeling the anxiety of sending someone a wrong text. Those small moments were always taken for granted yet those were what make life more interesting and beautifully appreciated by many.
“I’m sorry, Fushiguro” Itadori patted his friend at his back as he pulled him away from you as you slowly lose your composure and your consciousness, your sight is slowly losing focus making Megumi’s face gradually getting blurry.
Thanking the heavens once more for letting you be with your son, you beamed him with an assuring smile. “Mama loves you, thank you,” you said as the last drop of tear ran down your face.
Moving his head from left to right as a sign of disagreement of you leaving him again. Breaking free from the hard hold from Itadori's hands and ran towards you which almost got him tripped, hugging you hard and said things such as “Mama, I’ll be good” “Mama, don’t leave” “I love mama don’t leave me again”
Itadori smiled painfully, letting his friend clutch on to the last moments he has with his mom.
You sighed, not wanting this to end as well but you have to as you don’t want to hurt your son and his friend “I won’t leave, Megumi” but those four words were not enough to convince the wavered heart of your son which made you sigh.
“Gumi” you spoke in a serious tone, “Do not restrict your love into one direction only. Sometimes, love can pertain to sacrificing others for the ones you cherish deeply.” You explained. “But I cherish you whole-heartedly!” his muffled voice tickled the limbs of your said-to-be ‘arms’ as he kept rubbing those pale cheeks of his while burying it more, starved by the love of his parents. “But sometimes, the one you cherished the most is what you must sacrifice—another form of love masked behind the brutal reality of life.” You spoke as you gently raised his chin to meet your serious gaze.
A loud shout of ‘no’ echoed throughout the forest. For him, that is such a bullshit statement! You said you would not leave him again so why would you request something like that? His thoughts were as loud as his cries.
But this was a path chosen by you and Toji knowing fully well that the consequences held at the end of this road greatly required sacrifices, but the love that had blossomed from the curse-filled forest was held stronger by the both of you, hence, having to encounter this type of harsh ending. You cried as you grasp the last bits of the blurry image of your son who kept his strong clenches on your body in which was stopped by Itadori and a white-haired man with a mask on his eyes.
Perhaps one day, the sacrifices made by both parents will be then understood by the crying son who was then pulled by the tall, white-haired man into a tight hug, letting him pour his emotions into the broadness of his shoulders while he whispered in his ear’s words of assurances.
“Mama!” His loud sob made him unconsciously ordered his divine dogs to kill you letting you rest at ease knowing your son is within the reach of good and great people. For all he knows, that deep inside him, a discarded thought overpowered him about letting his mom be with the love of her life since he could not let his selfish desires repress him. Is that the kind of sacrifice she’s pertaining to? But if this is what his mom wanted, how could he deny her last request?
“Mama, I’ll be good” he muffled against the uniform of the masked man.
You thanked him in your head, shedding the last bits of tears on the ground as your sight has vanished while smiling as you exhaled your last breath.