Chapter Text
While Durin (currently controlling Albedo's body) was scheming and working on his plan to destroy Albedo's social life. Klee began her mission the given to her by Albedo( Durin) the first victim of this was Huffman
"Mr. Huffman, Fuck you!" Klee said as she ran passed him towards to the headquarters of the nights of favonius.
Huffman could only stand there in disbelief, shocked at what the child said to him.
Klee made her way to The acting Grand master's officer. Jean was busy filing paperwork as usual when Klee ran into the room bursting with excitement.
"Miss Jean I learned a new word today." Klee explained as she was jumping up and down eagerly.
"Oh is that so Klee? What is it?" she asked as she was still focused on the countless documents scattered on her desk.
"It's a new word that means love. It's called Fuck" Klee said with pride in her eyes.
Jean on the other hand had broken her pen in half.
"Klee please repeat that word once more" Jean order trying to remain a clam expression but was tipping on the verge of sheer rage.
"FUCK" Klee said once more
"Klee please tell me who taught you this word" Jean ordered once more.
"Oh no is Klee in trouble?" Klee asked unaware of what she had done.
BACK WITH DURIN AND ALBEDO
"Oh Archons above how are you so terrible at this?" Albedo complained as he watched in horror as he watched Durin's sad and quite frankly terrible attempt at drawing
"Put a sock in it, They don't exactly have art classes for dragons" Durin stated as he struggled to create a simple circle.
"What are you even planning to do by drawing what I'm assuming are Hillichurls and Abyss mages? Seriously why does that one have that one have 3 arms and the other have sword for a leg?"Albedo questioned every single messed up detail that Durin had drawn. Seriously it made Klee's drawings look liked they belonged in an Art exhibit.
"Well if you must know I plan on giving this town a little fright" Durin explained.
And so after a unbearable hour of witnessing the Dragon's sad attempt at creating his own chalk army.
"Ha ha ha ha it is complete" Durin let out a maniacal laugh as brought life to his "army of terror"
"This is the saddest thing possible." Albedo said as he stared at Durin's Abominations.
Durin was located outside of Mondstat near the tree at windrise with a canvas and a few stacks of paper planing to use Albedo's power over chalk and What stood before them was a few dozen hillichurls and a few abyss mages but Durin decided to take "creative liberties" with their design in an attempt to make them more "threatening" but the end result was something a child would drawn.
"Okay so here's the plan. You lot will terrorize the town right after I leave the area to run an errand." Durin ordered the abominations
"I hate everything about this" Albedo complained
"No one asked you" Durin shot back
Shortly after creating the "Army of terror" Durin began to stroll around looking for his next victim and that's when he Spotted a someone familiar.
"Oh Archons not that guy" Albedo complained
He was already having a terrible day with the ancient dragon god controlling his body, he really didn't want to of that incident that took place in the dragon spine. He was researching the Cursed sword known as festering desire when this idiot (to put it in the nicest way possible) pushed Sucrose to the ground and touched the sword which resulted in the revival of a long dead Cryo Regisvine. It was none other than every Hilichurls favorite punching bag, The reckless Pallad. Was it the fact that his actions disrupted his research and endangered their lives that he absolutely despised him? No.
Was it because he was a massive coward? No. The reason why he truly hated him was because he endangered the life of his assistant. After surviving that ordeal Albedo (and Aether) beat the shit out of him leaving the Pallad permanently traumatized of Albedo( and Aether).
"M-M-Mister Albedo w-what are you doing out here" the Pallad said trying his best not to collapse from fear
"Well is Isn't my good friend, What ever your name is" Durin said as he put his hand on pallad's shoulder.
"Actually my name is-"
"No one gives a shit so shut up and follow me" Durin interrupted as he began to drag the doomed soul along.
"So what exactly are you gonna do to this clown? Albedo questioned.
"It's a secret." Durin said with a sinister grin
MEANWHILE IN MONDSTAT
Durin's Chalk abominations began their attack on Mondstat.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE THINGS!?" A civilian screamed as they ran to hide from the Durin's abominations.
"WHY DOES THAT ONE HAVE A SWORD FOR A LEG?!" Another rando pointed out
"F-F-feeeeeear not for the honoooooooooorary kn-n-night is h~heeeeeeeere." Aether said as he made a dramatic entrance (it would of been cool if he didn't drink himself stupid an hour before).
"Aether you're in no condition to fight." Paimon argued trying to pull him away.
"Can it P—P-Paimon I totaaaaaaaaaaaally got this, and whyyyyyyy are there t-t-twooooooo of youuuuuu?" Aether questioned still drunk.
"Paimon thinks you're going to fail horribly" Paimon said as she still attempted to pull him away.
"J-just waaaaaaash and learn P-P-Paimon" Aether said as he summoned a geo Boulder to drop on the creature. Unfortunately he missed completely and ended up hitting Huffman.
"Missoooooooooooon accomplisssshed. Drinks aaaaaaaare on m-me." Aether said as he raised his arms up to celebrate.
"Paimon wishes she got paid for this so she could complain about not being paid enough for this." Paimon complained while face palming herself
Just as one of Durin's abominations was about to take out Aether. Diluc showed up setting the creature ablaze.
"Typical the knights can hand even the simplest of tasks- WAIT A MINUTE, AETHER ARE YOU DRUNK!?" Diluc interrupted his own monologue to question Aether.
"N-N-Nooooooooooo." Aether made a sad attempt to lie but it was already obvious.
"Who did this to him?" Diluc questioned now staring at the fairy.
"It was Albedo, he handed Aether alcohol and then left, Paimon tried to stop Aether but then he threatened to stop buying Paimon sticky honey roast." Paimon explained
"ALBEDO DID WHAT?!" A voice screamed from the distance.
It was the acting Grand master Jean herself.
"J-J-jeeeeeeeeeean hooooooooooow's it gooooooing? And since wheeeeeeeeen weeeeere there twoooooo of you?." Aether question as he attempted to stand still
"Aether go home your drunk." Jean ordered
"I-I-I don't even haaaaave a live h~here." Aether argued
"Paimon thinks it's better to ignore him for now"
"So as you were saying?" Jean asked Diluc.
"Albedo bought alcohol and gave it to Aether." Diluc explained.
"Ah another reason to Hold a public execution for Albedo" Jean said as she tightly gripped her sword.
"What do you mean by another reason?" Diluc questioned.
Jean was not the type to get easily angered, She always managed to remain calm and level head even when interacting with some of the most insufferable and hardheaded individuals, Diluc liked that about her (not that he would admit it out loud). However there were time where anger got the best of her. One famous example was when she learned about an Incident involving Barbara and her stalker Albert and to put it simply, Albert was never seen or heard from again after the incident. (Rumor has it that you can still hear the screams of pain near the Cathedral at the dead of night if you listen closely). Diluc could only imagine what he could have done to anger Jean.
"He Taught Klee how so say fuck." Jean explained.
"Seriously?" Diluc asked in disbelief. Was that really the reason that he was put on Jean's kill list. Well that and send poorly drawn chalk creatures to attack Mondstat.
"Yes" Jean confirmed
"Well considering that he's made a complete mess today I'll help you hunt him down." Diluc offered.
"Why thank you Diluc"
"Aaaaaaare you twoooo gonna Kisssssss or w-what?" Aether asked while making a heart with his hands
"SHUT UP AETHER" Diluc and Jean said in unison slightly blushing.
MEANWHILE
"Are you seriously going to leave him there?" Albedo questioned.
"What left him a campfire so he doesn't freeze to death immediately." Durin defended.
"Fair enough"
Durin had brought the Reckless pallad to the all the way to the Dragon spine and left him tied to a tree with nothing but a small campfire to keep him warm.
"Welp on to the next victim" Durin said as he made his way down the mountain.
END OF PART TWO
Will Durin survive the Wrath of Jean and Diluc, Will Aether and and Venti sober up and be useful. Will Sucrose finally make an Appearance find out next time on Dragon ba- I mean the Misadventures of Durin and Albedo.
(Thanks for reading and if you have any criticisms please fell free to tell me them)
Fun fact half of the story is planned out and the other half I'm making up as I go along