Chapter Text
Short black hair. Young adult, male.
Inexperienced, but cursed with boundless potential.
A unique Special Grade curse, unusually devoted and ruthlessly protective of its curser.
And then, a catalysmic force propagating towards him at the speed of light, effortlessly obliterating every curse he's ever toiled to accumulate.
His right shoulder completelt ripped from its socket, vestigial skin singed and burned. A large portion of his right side, chewed out and burned by the blast.
Then, he sees white hair and azure eyes.
Resignation and a bittersweet pang echoing one last desperate cry through his heart.
He remembers feeling a fierce sense of envy for the bond that was shared between Orimoto Rika and the curser, Okkotsu Yuuta.
A desire to be cursed to the end, if only as a flimsy excuse to stick around and be attached.
A last wish to be cursed, cursed to remain, only to be rejected lovingly but bitterly.
"A power that could change the world," he once said.
The inked darkness of his inner demons released their hold on him as he jolts awake, gasping and wheezing for oxygen. The bitter taste of bile accumulates at the back of his throat and he rolls over on his side, gagging as his gastrointestinal system works against his will. Acid claws past his esophagus as his gut expels what little sustenance it consumed. A creeping dizziness pounces on his head and he shuts his eyes, shivering as the uneasiness in his stomach refuses to settle.
Even with his eyes closed, Suguru is astounded (and maybe for a while, a long while) at the simple fact that he can feel the scorching heat of the summer sun circulating through his environment. Ultraviolet rays creep on his skin like an army of fire ants, stinging bites and vengeful determination. Every breath feels heavy, the very summer air saturated and energized by the excess heat. The stark contrast in sensory data provided by the shade he sheltered in, was still overwhelming. So many of the things he took for granted, now felt new and overwhelming.
He slowly rolls over on his other side and tries to sit up properly, ignoring the residual nausea stirring in his gut. He winces a little and before he could think anything of it, long-forgotten habit takes over and he finds himself pressing his hand on his stomach, giving it firm pressure. He gingerly tests his gut tolerance by breathing a little more deeply, only to feel a pang of disappointment and discomfort when he feels the same dizziness and nausea threatening to overthrow him again. When he blearily opens his eyes again, his heart stops when he sees a familiar scene, an exact replica of one of the few memories he treasured.
Or was it no longer memory at this present time? He was seeing it again with his own eyes, after all.
Satoru and Riko were pure incarnations of youthful naivete, laughing and exclaiming wih jubilee as they both wrestled with ocean waves. Riko smirks and swipes at the surface, sending a spray of ocean water directly into Satoru's face, right where he planned a failed sneak attack behind Riko. Suguru feels a small twitch at the edge of his mouth when he sees Satoru's astonished expression while the rest of him looked like a drenched cat.
When Riko turns around suddenly and tackles him like a football player, Satoru releases a surprised yelp and falls backwards, breaking through the surface of the ocean. The effort of restraining any emotion suddenly becomes too much. Suguru feels a lightness overcoming him and he caves in, expelling his breath into small fits of laughter that rippled through his aching chest. This very same lightness of spirit takes root in his heart, and he suddenly finds it easier to breath and swallow the bitter taste in his mouth.
When Satoru's face is visible again after he breaks through the surface of the ocean, Suguru feels his stomach clenching again in laughter when he sees the dismayed pout on his best friend's face. Satoru blinks furiously a few times before shaking his head, like a dog eager to blow out the water from its fur.
The smile on his face slowly recedes, but Suguru still feels the fluttering wings of butterflies circulating through his gut. He can't quite help the fond smile that appears again on his face when he observes Satoru glaring at Riko's smirking expression. The chase commenced again and the cycle of hunter and hunted, repeats. Eventually, even Kuroi was dragged into their little war, and nothing could stop the assault of fondness that overtakes his heart as he continued watching them from the safety of the shade.
However, doubt eventually poisons his happiness.
Am I still dreaming? Or is this truly it? Am I actually alive or am I imagining everything?
Suguru looks away from the joyful scene in front of him. He feels a small ache settling in his chest, right beneath his sternum. Without even thinking about it, he raises a hand and pressed his palm against the aching spot, grimacing as he feels it growing in intensity.
No, a spirit won't feel pain like this. I really am alive, as hard as it is to believe.
Interestingly enough, the ache in his sternum subsides just as quickly as those realizations flew through his mind.
Suguru lifts his gaze towards the group still playing in the ocean, heart clenching with some bittersweet sense of yearning he can't quite fully quantify. He slowly puts his hand to rest by his side, and just this once, he willingly disciplines himself to let his guard down, even if it was just for the sake of this quiet moment. He lets himself smile as he watches Satoru moving about, laughing and carefree as he should have been. He watches, captivated, as Satoru expresses the full depth of his humanity with his interactions with Riko and Kuroi. The air around the beach was light and tranquil, and for once, Suguru is relieved and content.
I wish this was our reality, Satoru. I wish I could laugh with you and take things easy. You were the only one to ever make me smile, and it was all that made living in this world a little more bearable.
Suguru feels his lungs deflating under the heavy assault of emotion, and he swallows down the bile in his throat.
But I wonder how much I'm cursed to repeat the same mistakes.
Suguru exhales loudly, leaning back against the lounge chair beneath the shade, shutting his eyes.
Satoru, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, at all. Only you, Satoru. Only you can ever make me feel unsure and uncertain. Only you can ever surprise me. I wish I knew what to do.
When he opens his eyes again, he sees Satoru walking up to him in the distance, smiling and waving.
"Yo, Suguru!" Satoru calls out, grinning, happy. "Are you feeling better? Wanna hop in the ocean and swim with me?"
Happy.
When's the last time I saw you smile and be happy, like you were supposed to be? When I left, did you ever find happiness again, Satoru?
Suguru shuts his eyes, chuckling. "Yeah, I'm feeling a little better. I'm up for a little swim."
"Okay!" Satoru exclaimed like a child, grinning. "Come on! Let's go!"
One day at a time, I suppose. So one day at a time, it is.
Suguru smiles, chuckling as Satoru turned around and ran back into the ocean.
I promise I'll never leave you again, Satoru.