Chapter Text
Hero’s Party
Monday, 9:26 PM
Kittypaw has kicked Medislime from the group chat.
Worstie: oh my god
Kittypaw: do it
Kittypaw: were going to learn his deepest darkest secrets
Worstie: this is the worst
Worstie: im scared
Idiot: Whats happening
Shell Slime: whats happening kids
Shell Slime: i know kaorus a killjoy but come on hes funny
Kittypaw: were just having fun without him
Kittypaw: were being kids joe let us do this
Shell Slime: i dont like the sound of this
10:32 PM
Shell Slime: ill admit this was not a bad idea
Shell Slime: this is funny
Kittypaw: i told you so
Idiot: I didnt know Cherry also flubbs his tricks
Worstie: I DIDNT KNOW CHERRY LISTENS TO ASMR
Shell Slime: i know things about kaoru carla cant even tell you
Kittypaw: care to share
Shell Slime: maybe some other time
Kittypaw: lame
Worstie: come on cherry isnt here
Shell Slime: he wants to know why hes been kicked out of the group
Kittypaw: werent you drinking
Kittypaw: why arent you hungover or whatever
Shell Slime: you underestimate me
Worstie: did cherry actually drink you under the table like he said
Idiot: Did he?
Shell Slime: no he didnt
Shell Slime: no way in hell
Kittypaw: suspicious
Shell Slime: im not
Kittypaw has added Sakurayashiki, Kaoru to the group chat.
Kittypaw has changed Sakurayashiki, Kaoru’s nickname to sound enjoyer.
sound enjoyer: What the hell?
sound enjoyer: Whoever is responsible for this
sound enjoyer: Know that I’m very, very angry right now.
Shell Slime: oh no hes upset
Shell Slime: what are you gonna do about it kaoru
sound enjoyer: You’re dead.
sound enjoyer: I never should have let you listen to my playlist, asshole.
Shell Slime: I LITERALLY HELPED YOU RECORD TOSE
Kittypaw: tose
Worstie: can i have the playlist too
Idiot: What playlist?
Kittypaw: cherrys playlist
Shell Slime: precious’s little baby lullabies
sound enjoyer: You know very well why I listen to that.
sound enjoyer: Better than listening to you snore all night.
Shell Slime: youre the one who got drunk
sound enjoyer: THAT WAS YOU.
Shell Slime: tsk tsk tsk
Shell Slime: accusing others are we kaoru
sound enjoyer: You
sound enjoyer: You
Shell Slime: yes me
Shell Slime: do you have something to say to me
Shell Slime: dont be shy
sound enjoyer: Prepare to be strangled.
Shell Slime: i dont think i will
Shell Slime: im not into breathplay you see
Kittypaw: A
Worstie: WWW W W W WWWWW AUWA
Idiot: Really
Idiot: Are you really not
Shell Slime: YOURE 17?????????
Shell Slime: YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW THAT?????????
Kittypaw: boring
Idiot: It was a genuine question.
Shell Slime: IM JUST BEING A NORMAL PERSON
Shell Slime: IM BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT THIS TIME
Kittypaw: he admits to his crimes
Shell Slime: what would you even do with taht knowledge
Shell Slime: that
Kittypaw: make fun of you
Idiot: I dont know
Worstie: tell those girls you keep hanging out with (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )
Shell Slime: THEN IM NOT ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS.
sound enjoyer: I don’t want to know the answer.
Kittypaw: you sure about that
sound enjoyer: Why wouldn’t I be?
Kittypaw: i dont know
Kittypaw: your playlist
sound enjoyer: What does that even mean
Kittypaw: oh you know
sound enjoyer: I don’t.
Kittypaw: tsk youre so dense
Worstie: can i still have that playlist btw
sound enjoyer: No.
sound enjoyer: Not if you’re going to be like Miya, no.
Worstie: I WONT
Worstie: I PROMISE
Worstie: what could be so bad about a playlist anyway
Kittypaw: oh reki
Kittypaw: dear, dear reki
Worstie: ur scaring me
Worstie: u dont call me dear
Idiot: Can I?
Worstie: yes
Worstie: you may
Idiot: Okay
Kittypaw: gross
Kittypaw: youre all so unsubtle
Idiot: About what?
Worstie: ????
sound enjoyer: About what?
Shell Slime: are you talking about just the boys or me too
Kittypaw: sigh
Kittypaw: maybe old man shadow really is the only reliable one here
Shell Slime: im reliable
Kittypaw has changed Shadow’s nickname to old man.
sound enjoyer: No, you’re not.
Shell Slime: I AM.
Kittypaw: right lover boy @old man @old man @old man @old man
old man: DO YOU WANT ME TO BREAK YOUR CONTROLLER
Kittypaw: i literally just called you reliable do you want me to take it back
old man: hell yeah im reliable
old man: name a cooler guy
Worstie: langa
Idiot: Reki
Kittypaw: literally anyone else
Shell Slime: me
old man: RUDE
old man: I GOT A GIRLFRIEND
old man: Better than a one night stand
Shell Slime: hey
Kittypaw: oh its probably joes secret kink
Kittypaw: he likes the idea of finding a lover he never learned the name of and never sees again
Kittypaw: cinderella kink
Shell Slime: SOTP
Shell Slime: YOURE LITERALLY 12
Kittypaw: ok so what
Kittypaw: im right
sound enjoyer: I don’t need to know this.
old man: I do
old man: Its my blackmail material
sound enjoyer: My ears would rather not hear about that gorilla’s kinks and fetishes.
Idiot: But youre reading?
sound enjoyer: It’s the same context, Langa.
Shell Slime: kaoru weve known each other since we were 6 youve seen worse
sound enjoyer: Thank you for bringing that up.
sound enjoyer: Remember the time I showed up with a skateboard and you thought I was ‘cool’ and decided to copy me.
Kittypaw: WWW W W WJFHEWRHAL
Worstie: )*@$^@*$&@#@)#(@!#
Idiot: oh
Shell Slime: SHUT UP
Shell Slime: YOU THINK I DONT HAVE EMBARRASSING MOMENTS ABOUT YOU
sound enjoyer: I’ve already been bullied enough as it is.
Shell Slime: oh wow really
Shell Slime: so how much would u say im bullied huh pinky
sound enjoyer: Using what value do you want me to calculate that
Shell Slime: actually dont
Shell Slime: youre no fun at all
sound enjoyer: So I’ve been told.
Worstie: yeah cherry youre not very fun
Idiot: Skating should be fun
Worstie: yeah
Shell Slime: see
Shell Slime: youre no fun robo head
old man: everytime i say anything you two butt in and start arguing
Kittypaw: like some two people i know
Worstie: why do i feel like ur insulting me when ur not
Kittypaw: i am
Idiot: Reki and I dont argue like that
Kittypaw: you do
Idiot: we dont
Kittypaw: you do
old man: STOP IGNORING ME
Shell Slime: sorry i just cant help being it
Shell Slime: cant help that im so handsome that i get all the attention
old man: at least i have a girlfriend
Shell Slime: STOP BRINGING THAT UP
old man: I LIKE HER A LOT FUCK YOU
Kittypaw: yeah at least this old man has done something about his romantic tension
Shell Slime: that implies that i have some sort of romantic tension
Shell Slime: which i dont
Worstie: hm
Idiot: hm?
Worstie: hm.
Kittypaw: hm
Shell Slime: stop implying things im too old to understand your way of speaking
Kittypaw: sure whatever boomer
Shell Slime: B
Shell Slime: BOOMER
old man: Youre like 30
old man: Youre a boomer
Kittypaw: youre also a boomer
old man: IM NOT
Shell Slime: if im a boomer what does that make kaoru
Kittypaw: some other species of boomer
sound enjoyer: Species?
sound enjoyer: Boomers don’t have species.
Kittypaw: says the sound enjoyer
sound enjoyer: STOP BRINGING THAT INTO THE CONVERSATION.
sound enjoyer: IT’S IRRELEVANT.
Worstie: lol
sound enjoyer: This is why I hate kids.
old man: I know right
old man: Kids nowadays
Kittypaw: those are pretty boomer things of you two to say
sound enjoyer: I really am going to kill Kojiro for adding me back here.
Shell Slime: HOW IS THIS STILL MY FAULT
old man: Im leaving
old man: I dont want to be here while those two argue for the nth time
Kittypaw: smart decision o wise and reliable old man
old man: IM NOT. OLD
Idiot: We should do that too Reki
Worstie: true true
old man: Whoever made this chat should be ashamed
old man: You just created a place for the brat to insult people nonstop
Worstie: oh
Worstie: whoops (๑≧౪≦)
Worstie: my bad
Worstie has changed the group chat name to miyas personal hearing room
Kittypaw: oh it was so worth it to have you ask joe to get that asmr on cherry
sound enjoyer: YOU WHAT
Kittypaw: whoops
Kittypaw: look at the time
Kittypaw: gotta study
Worstie: i gotta take care of my little sisters.
Idiot: Arent your sisters asleep around this time?
sound enjoyer: YOU TWO ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE.
Shell Slime: im not helping you this time
Worstie: BYE
Idiot: Dont die Reki
Worstie: SEE YOU IN THE NEXT LIFE LANGA MY BELOVED
Idiot: Noo
Idiot: :(
Shell Slime: thats why you should take me as your example kids
Shell Slime: be responsible like me
sound enjoyer: IT WAS YOU WHO GAVE THEM THAT INFORMATION.
Shell Slime: not me
Shell Slime: your beloved carla
sound enjoyer: Carla, leave the chat.
Carla has left the group chat.
sound enjoyer: I should have known better than to let her recognize your ugly voice.
Shell Slime: too late to regret it pinky
Shell Slime: you love me
old man: Who would love you
Shell Slime: SHUT UP
Shell Slime: FUCK YOU SHADOW
old man: 🤘😜
Direct message between Sakurayashiki, Kaoru and Hiromi
Monday, 11:01 PM
Hiromi: Hey are you mad at the guys? You can just tell them off, just remember that they’re still kids
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: I know they’re kids. I’ll tell them off, but they won’t listen. It’s not worth the effort. I used to be worse.
Hiromi: If you say so
Hiromi: Just checking in to see if you’re alright. I know you’re mature enough to like, not get mad at them. but Joe mentioned something about your anxiety while we were drinking
Hiromi: A slip of the tongue probably
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: He did?
Hiromi: Yeah, sorry if you didn’t want me to know that. Its normal
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: It’s fine.
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: It’s not a secret, I just don’t bring it up.
Hiromi: If you say so pinky
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: I’d rather you keep this between us.
Hiromi: So it is a secret lol
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: The children should not butt their heads into my life outside of S. They’re children.
Hiromi: Yeah, I get it. They just like to fuck around
Hiromi: I’m going to work. Try not to keep arguing with Joe in the groupchat while Im busy
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: I can’t promise that.
Hiromi: Ass
Hiromi: Talk to you later
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: sure.
miyas personal hearing room
Tuesday, 8:12 PM
Shell Slime: everyones been awfully quiet for a while
Worstie: its exam sason
Worstie: season
Shell Slime: i see
Shell Slime: so why arent you studying
Worstie: IM TAKING A BREAK
Worstie: breaks are good you know
Shell Slime: thats true
sound enjoyer: Are you talking about me?
Shell Slime: no actually. im talking about our favorite little hero
Worstie: ohhhh
sound enjoyer: My mistake, then.
Shell Slime: but also you
sound enjoyer: This sounds like an insult. I can almost hear this in your unbelievably annoying voice.
Shell Slime: deal with it
old man: Working too hard is bad for you
old man: You gotta let yourself take a break by doing something you like as a treat
Worstie: yeah thats what im doing
old man: Its not a break if you havent done any work
Worstie: YOU LITERALLY DONT KNOW IF IVE WORKED THOUGH
Kittypaw: i heard someone talking about me
old man: You cant hear texts
Kittypaw: yes i can
Kittypaw: maybe youre just going deaf with age
old man: IM NOT.
Idiot: Reki
Worstie: yeah?
Idiot: Can I borrow your japanese notes?
Worstie: no problem, you couldve asked for them in our dms
Worstie: ill send pics
Idiot: Thanks
Worstie: can i borrow your english notes
Idiot: They’re written in english
Worstie: damn
Worstie: teach me english ?
Idiot: Sure
Worstie: YOURE THE BEST LANGA
Idiot: So are you :)
Kittypaw: okayyy we get it the world stopped moving can we move on now
Worstie: rude
Worstie: we were looking into each others eyes
old man: youre texting
Idiot: Its the thought that counts?
old man: I should have abandoned you all
Kittypaw: since when were we yours in the first place
Kittypaw: i already have my dads
old man: THAT WASNT WHAT I MEANT.
sound enjoyer: Go back to studying.
Shell Slime: youre all gonna fail like that, trust me
Kittypaw: youre no fun
Kittypaw: since when have i ever failed
Shell Slime: no idea
Kittypaw: see
Kittypaw: im not like you
Shell Slime: ill have you know i was an average student. i needed to be if i wanted to study abroad. Kaoru was an honor student
Shell Slime: its the only reason they let him off with hair that long and so many piercings
sound enjoyer: It’s true.
old man: high school feels like yesterday
Kittypaw: LOL YOURE ALL SO OLD
Shell Slime: GO BACK AND STUDY ALREADY
Kittypaw: fine
Idiot: Cherry
sound enjoyer: Yes?
Idiot: Youre good at japanese right
sound enjoyer: I would say that I have to be. Why?
Idiot: Rekis having dinner. I dont want to ask my mom
sound enjoyer: Send it.
Idiot sent an image.
sound enjoyer: Well what do you know.
sound enjoyer: It’s the kanji for “ape.”
Shell Slime: you arent funny
Idiot: It is?
sound enjoyer: Yes, it wasn’t a joke.
Idiot: Thank you
sound enjoyer: What are you studying?
Idiot: Its
Idiot: Momotaro
Shell Slime: why are you studying momotaro in high school?
Idiot: Are we not supposed to?
Shell Slime: not really
sound enjoyer: It’s considered a children’s story.
Idiot: We didn’t have it in Canada.
Shell Slime: figures
sound enjoyer: I assume you’re studying a rendition with higher level words.
Idiot: Yeah
Idiot: I think
Shell Slime: well if you need help you can always ask big bro kaoru for help
sound enjoyer: Don’t sign me up without my consent.
sound enjoyer: But I’ll help if you need anything, so long as it isn’t while I’m working.
Idiot: Cool
Idiot: Thanks
sound enjoyer: It’s nothing.
Shell Slime: since when were you so humble
sound enjoyer: Perhaps I always am, just not to you.
Shell Slime: RUDE
Idiot: Why do you two fight so much
Shell Slime: how blunt
Idiot: sorry
Shell Slime: dont worry it was a joke
Shell Slime: its because we dont get along
sound enjoyer: As if that’s my fault.
Shell Slime: it isnt
Shell Slime: it really isnt
sound enjoyer: Thanks.
sound enjoyer: It isn’t yours, either.
Idiot: Im glad you get along sometimes
Shell Slime: rarely
sound enjoyer: My life would be easier if we got along more often.
Shell Slime: then stop being an ass to be. my god
sound enjoyer: No thanks.
Shell Slime: fine.
Idiot: :(
Shell Slime: we really do get along sometimes. kaoru doesnt like real fights
sound enjoyer: Who does?
Idiot: I dont
Shell Slime: yeah nobody does
Shell Slime: dont you have an exam to study for
Idiot: Yeah
Idiot: Can i come here if i have any questions
Idiot: You said Cherry was an honor student
sound enjoyer: Sure.
Idiot: Thanks
Idiot: Bye
Shell Slime: good luck.
Direct Message between Kojiro and Sakurayashiki, Kaoru.
Tuesday, 8:34 PM
Kojiro: taken to the kids havent we
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: So have you.
Kojiro: i kind of miss when we had tests and stuff
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: They were a pain.
Kojiro: yeah but i miss
Kojiro: like
Kojiro: leaving school as soon as they were over and skipping class with you
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: Oh.
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: Me too.
Kojiro: want to come over? im making carbonara
Sakurayashiki, Kaoru: Sure. See you later.
Kojiro: see you