Chapter Text
1 year later
There I sat in the green filled field with a bouquet of forget-me-nots in hand and a basket in the other. The gentle and steady breeze of the spring air blowing softly through my hair. There I sat in front of a tombstone that read “Here lies Choi San,the strongest mountain” I dusted off any dirt on the stone and laid my flowers on it,”Hey sannie how are you? I hope you’re doing well. Yunho invited me to start a dance studio with him,and I agreed. I’m finally living my dream...I just wish you could see.” I sat there in a small silence just listening to the air,”you were never porcelain,you were a mountain that was too beautiful for this world,you stood so tall and mighty.” I choked out with a slight quiver in my voice. “I love you San,so much.” I smiled, with warm tears rolling down my cheeks I stood up and bowed and walked away.
•••••••••••••
Everynight I look up at the sky looking for you Sannie. You used to say that in heaven you’d get to choose to stay up there or become a star,you’d always tell me you’d become a star. So here I am sitting out looking up loving on all the stars because I know you’re there,you’re just a bit harder to see than most. I’m alright baby I miss you lots though,but that’s alright because on the nights where I miss you the most I go outside and put on our song and I sway,dancing with your ghost.
I know you told me to keep living...but baby it’s so hard without you here. It all hurts. I want to be with you. I want to feel your warmth,see your eyes crinkle up into those moons that you so dearly hated. I want to see your dimples come out when you smile with your teeth. I want to see the sparkles in yours that you’d get when I’d bring you shiber. I want to see you pout about yeosang calling you a pie chart because you’re too scared to dye all of your hair so you do small sections. I want to hear your voice whispering in my ears telling me to wake up or else I’m gonna miss dance class. I want to feel you next to me in the morning when we cuddle. I want to smell your rose scent perfume that you use when I snuggle into the crook of your neck. I just want you Sannie.
baby how am I supposed to love again when I couldn’t even say goodbye to you? I’m really not sure how you want me to keep living and love again,but because i love you,because you’re Choi san my first love. I’ll move on.
Goodbye Choi San.