Chapter Text
"Bucky! Welcome! Glad you made it." Sarah gave Bucky a hug, and took the cake from his hand. "I'm so glad you're okay, I saw the footage of the fight that night with the flag smashers, It looked so dangerous, all the exploding cars and collapsing bridges."
"I'm okay, I'm glad Sam is okay too." Bucky smiled.
"Thank you for the cake, and this handsome boy must be the boyfriend I heard about." Sarah smiled at zemo, and blushed as zemo kissed her cheeks.
"Nice to meet you, Ms. Wilson." Zemo handed her a plate of riblet. "So generous for hosting this nice party."
Sarah waved her hands "Just call me Sarah. My brother just became Captain America, of course I'm going to throw a party. Now go in there, and go find some nicely conversation."
A young boy ran up and jumped into Bucky's hug. Bucky catch him easily with his metal arm.
"Hey AJ! How's it going? How did you do on your finals?"
" I did great! It was easy!"
" That's great buddy. " Bucky laughed while AJ tried to climb his metal arm.
"your son? " Zemo asked.
Sarah beamed with pride " yeah that's my boy, AJ is nine, and Cass is six."
Zemo suddenly felt like he was hit in the head with a hammer.
He stammered: " I gotta, go to get, I gotta go get something from my car, yeah, sorry, I will be right back."
And he quickly walked off.
Sarah looks confused, and Bucky was concerned immediately.
" Sarah, I got to go comfort him, He's a widow, his wife and son died, AJ probably reminded him." Bucky quickly said.
" Oh dear, I'm so sorry, you better go help him." Sarah nodded, looking sympathetic.
------
Zemo had the car trunk up, and is looking away, hiding his face.
Bucky put his arm around him.
"Dear, it's okay to grief. " Bucky softly said.
" I miss him, my son Carl, he would be in middle school now." Zemo's voice was broken.
" I know, dear, I know it hurts, it feels like someone is curving into your flesh, the grief. I'm here with you. " Bucky kissed zemo's cheek.
Zemo turn around and looked at him.
His eyes are puffy and red, with tears streaming down his face. But he still tried to be elegant and controlled without losing his image.
"Thank you for being here with me, bucky, it would be even harder without you."
" Want to go sit down in the car, Liebling? (German for favorite) You don't have to try so hard to control your grief, you can't. We can have the privacy for you to let out all your sadness. "
Zemo nodded, and they both slipped into the back seat.
Zemo collapsed on bucky's lap the moment they sat down, he cried and sobbed, letting his pent up grief slip out.
Feeling his heartbroken looking at his boyfriend so sad, Bucky ran his hands though zemo's hair over and over again, and used his sleeves to wipe away his tears.
"Do you want to go home? We don't need to go to the party, you didn't have a chance to grief properly."
"No, we should stay, Just let me rest a bit, give me a moment, my Bärchen (German for little bear, a nickname zemo was surprise to find that Bucky really liked.)
" Of course, Süsser (sweet), take all the time you need. I would be here with you. " Bucky reassured.
" My son, he would have been 13 if he didn't die. He is the best child anyone could ever ask for, he's intelligent and kind, his eyes soft like the greatest angel, I miss him so much."
" I'm sure he was very smart, zemo. "
" If the building didn't collapse, he would be struggling to take the finals now. He would be running around here, jumping and whooping, cheering to be on a boat engineer the ocean, he loved the ocean. " Zemo sobbed.
" He sounds adorable. "
" He is, with the happiest grin, but It was all crushed by a building, and no one can see him smile ever again. "
Bucky just patted him, smoothing his hiccups.
"He would have liked you, you know, the way you got along with AJ. My son Carl, he would have loved you, he could have climbed on you like a monkey bar. He loved drinking tea, and could tell the difference between Japanese tea and Chinese tea by the time he was six. He can draw very well, and he liked the cartoons, and he was infatuated, just fascinated by iron Man," Zemo took the water bottle bucky handed him, slowly calming down, still hiccuping, and took a sip.
" He would have really liked you. " Zemo repeated quietly, as if in a trance.
"You can tell me more about him. You didn't have to hide him away, He's not going to fade away because you shared memories you had of him, he's going to be remembered longer if you told me more about him. I can share your grief and burden, Süsser." Bucky softly said.
This is the first time zemo has told Bucky so much about his son. He would usually hide the memories away like a secret piece of treasure, not willing to share with anyone.
" I know you feel like all the memories are precious, and they will be burned into your head forever, but you would forget them, And that would break your heart. It's only been 2 years, since you been snapped, 20 years from now you're going to have trouble remembering him.
20 years from now, all you would remember is a smile, and a faded glance. And that's going to hurt you. But if you tell me others about him and your wife, you could remember longer."
Zemo stopped crying, and starred at Bucky.
" You sound like you are speaking from experience."
Bucky took his hand, his own voice starting to tremble.
"I can barely remember what my mother look like, or what her hands are like, her hair color. I can barely remember what she looks like when she's laughing, her frown of disappointment when I get home past curfew. And it hurts, It hurts more than the worst injuries, I don't want you to suffer the same fate."
"Bucky, from now on, let's share our memories with each other." Zemo decided.
" Yes, it would hurt less with you there. We have each other, let's blend in our past happiness with the future happiness we would have together."
" Okay." They pressed their forehead against each other, in solemn grief.
"Bucky, my Schatz (sweetheart), out of all the people in the world, I'm glad I could be with you."
They then shared a tender kiss, took a moment to calm down, and got out of the car to go back to the party.
------
Bucky and zemo walked onto the boat deck, holding hands and enjoying the sea breeze.
"Hey Cap! Need a hand? " Bucky called out to Sam, who is having quite some trouble with the boat.
"Hey Bucky, I'm so glad to see you, come down here, hold this down for me, this damn workbench wants to toss me in the ocean!" Sam called back, clearly struggling.
Bucky jump down to the boat and held the work table with just one hand, easily stabilizing the whole thing.
"Hey zemo, How you doing?"
"It's quite good, this party is great, and You should be glad I'm wearing pants this time!" Zemo joked back, and Bucky is so glad to see his classic smirk back on his face.
"Don't remind me, ugh!" Sam laughed
"Dear, I'm going to work on this boat for a bit with Sam, God knows he needs a mechanic. Feel free to go to the party and have fun, I'll be back in an hour." Bucky already took the drill and stabilized the workbench, within 20 seconds, walked up to the edge of the boat.
"Okay Schatz (sweetheart), I'm going to go make some friends, do I need to bring you two a drink? My Mechaniker (German for mechanic) ?"
"It's all good, I'll get my drink later after I join the party in a bit, you go have fun honey."
Zemo squatted down for a kiss, and left.
-------
Bucky and Sam worked in silence for a bit, before Sam started the conversation.
"I never thought you would end up with zemo." Sam started.
"You thought about me a lot?" Bucky joked.
Sam noticed how similar bucky's smirk was to zemo's.
"I always assumed you and Steve were going to be together, how he gave up everything to save you in civil war. But then he left for Peggy." Sam glanced at Bucky, but he didn't seem to be bothered by it at all.
" I noticed Sharon Carter was throwing her glance at you, and I thought you two might work. " Sam continued talking.
" She was? When?" Bucky was curious.
"When we were at her safe house, she kept oogling at you."
"Well, I have not noticed, been too busy staring at zemo's ass. "
Sam was a silent again.
" Bucky, Bucky look at me. " Sam's tone was serious.
Bucky looked at him
" Bucky, I can't stop you from dating who you want, but you have to look at me in the eye, and tell me, zemo makes you happy. You love him. You are absolutely sure he is right for you, and he's not manipulating you or using you. "
Bucky nodded, "Sam, thank you for trying to be the friend that you are. I can tell you, honestly, I love him with all my heart, and our time together was the happiest time I have had. We both went through a lot, and we are each other's therapist, He's not manipulating or using me, I trust him, 100%."
" You love him?" Sam repeated.
"Yes, God damn it. I love him so much. I love the little brat he sometimes act like; I love how he spent so much energy making sure every detail of his life is comfortable and perfect; I love how delicate his fingers are, but is capable of doing the strongest things; I love every part of him, even when he loses his shit when I put in the milk first before tea." Bucky said confidently.
Sam hugged him, "bucky, I'm so happy you have somebody, glad he cares for you."
" He cares for me more than he cares for himself, I'm sometimes quite worried about him. Bucky chuckled.
"Yeah, he's definitely going through something." Sam remembered how suicidal the sokovian has act liked during their trip.
"But he swears I also care about him than myself, so I guess we're even, we just have to watch out for each other's backs."
"Bucky, I'm glad you're going to be okay. Your therapist have been messaging me for the past year, screaming that you seriously need someone. Not anymore, last month she asked me if you were on drugs, since you seemed so normal, calm, happy, and collected. "
"Damn, she's a terrible shrink but she does care about me. " Bucky was shocked.
" So you're not on drugs? " Sam joked.
" Some say love is the greatest drug of all, it must be, because normal cocaine doesn't work on me, super soldier metabolism. " Bucky chuckled.
---------After chatting with some people he don't know, zemo found himself having a conversation with Sarah.
" So, we are both widowers." Sarah started the conversation
"What happened to your husband? How did he die?" Zemo asked
"It was the most horrible thing, he had a heart attack, and nobody was there to help him, he was dead for almost 8 hours before somebody found him, by the time it was too late to go to the hospital. "
"That's horrible." Zemo agreed
"Not only that he died, he had died all by himself, nobody was there with him. " Sarah said, her voice started to tremble, remembering the horrors of that day.
" What happened to your wife?" Sarah asked
" It was during Sokovia war, The avengers were fighting, and knocked down some houses, my wife was in one of them, and my son, and my father. "
"So you lost everyone? "
" Yeah, I had nobody left. Everybody I loved was dead, I wanted to go with them. " Zemo confessed.
" I know the feeling, I have been with my husband for 15 years, when I heard the news, I wanted to die, so I can be with him, the grief, just suffocates you, and all you feel is pain."
" I know, it's like you will never smile again, everything happy is gone, Even though it's not."
" I wanted to die, even though I have my two sons. I was actually pregnant with our third child, I was 6 months along, but The distress, the despair, I lost my daughter. That was the final blow that was going to send me over the cliff. "
"Oh my goodness, you lost your daughter too? " Zemo was shocked, he never heard about this.
"Yeah, we were going to name her Erica. My husband thought it would be cute, Erica and Sarah. It's been 6 years, and I still miss that man so much. Now all I have left is a big gravestone and a little gravestone next to it." Sarah was trying her best not to cry. " Zemo, were you snapped, when did your family die??"
" I was, so the grief is still sharp, It felt like just yesterday, although it was almost 2 years ago. I take that you aren't snapped?"
"I've never been more thankful that I wasn't, if I was gone, and my brother Sam was also, who's going to take care of Cass and AJ? I think God had mercy on me, They lost their father and sister, God weren't going to let them lose their mother too. If I have been snapped, I don't know what could have happened to them. It was hard, but we had each other. Without my sons, I don't think I would be alive to talk to you today. It must be awful for you, with nobody left to love and take care of, I'm glad you have Bucky, what happened to him, it was inhumane, he needs a lot of love. " Sarah was trying to hide her tears, they were in relatively privacy, but she still felt ashamed for crying.
" Thank you Sarah, and he told me, before he met me, you and Cass and AJ was the closest thing he had to a family. Thank you for taking care of him, you are truly a saint."
" You're too kind. But we are in a similar boat, we both have somebody we deeply care about living in constant danger."
" Sam?"
" Yeah, he's Captain America now, and I know it's important and he can save many lives, but I don't want him to lose his. And bucky, with all he's been through, he's not taking a break. They're both risking their lives everyday on their little adventures. Zemo, we must be friends to each other, since if they are putting theirself out on dangerous missions, we must keep each other sane."
" You are so kind, Sarah, but I'm going with them, I was in the sokovian army, I flew a scorpion, if Bucky is out there risking his life, I'm going to besides him. I don't have any superpowers, but I could think pretty quick on my feet and I'm pretty handy with a gun."
" Oh, well then I must include you in my prayers too. I'm worried for you, you lost your family once already, If Bucky dies I'm worried you might be giving up on life again." Sarah said truthfully.
" He is the most important thing I have to live for, and I'm going to do my best to protect him. What happens if he dies, I don't know yet, but I'm glad to be friends with you." Zemo smiled.
" Are you two going to adopt a child someday? Or surrogate? " Sarah was curious.
" I don't know, we've only been together for 2 months, although it does feel like 20 years already. I don't know if I'm ready yet, I don't know if he's ready yet, but we need to settle down first. It's unfair for a child to have parents that's in constant danger." Zemo slowly answered.
" Yeah, no hurry, enjoy your honeymoon first." Sarah joked.
"Hey, Süsser, there you are."Bucky came in the room, and spotted zemo on the couch.
Sarah saw Sam, and quickly left the room so Sam won't see her cry.
" Yeah, how was the fixing?" Zemo asked.
"It went all right." Bucky sat down next to him, and kissed him, hard.
It had been a more loving and deeper kiss than what zemo expected, they only separated for an hour, but he was happy to see him.
Bucky must have talked about it with Sam, zemo figured.
He wished he was there for the conversation, It must have been so cute and entertaining.
"Zemo, I didn't like you, but now I got confirmations at Bucky really likes you, so I would see you as a brother-in-law now." Sam confirmed his hypothesis.
" Brother in law?" Zemo wasn't sure he heard right.
" yeah , Bucky is my best bro." sam high-fived Bucky.
"Stop embarrassing him, we're not married yet. " Bucky loved how red zemo turned.
" You and Sarah, You're both just rushing us so you can be at a wedding." Zemo mumbled.
" Can I have some cake?" Cass popped up his little head.
" What's cake called in Spanish?" Sam asked
" la tarta" AJ, cass's older brother answered for him, " I'm the one taking Spanish, uncle sam."
Sam frowned:" I don't know if you're right or not, I don't speak Spanish."
"Yeah he's right, go ahead, let me cut some for you." Zemo smiled, and cut off a generous slice for the little smiling boy, and another slice for AJ.
"You speak Spanish?" AJ was surprised.
"Yeah, I speak German, English, Spanish, French, Portuguese, sokovian, And I'm learning Russian right now."
" My goodness, that's like seven languages. You must be super smart, I'm struggling with just two." AJ was shocked.
" Yeah, wow, seven." Cass counted on his fingers.
" I'm not as smart as my boyfriend, he speaks 30 languages." Zemo smiled, and patted bucky's hair.
" Oh my God, both of you two are so smart, you two must have really smart kids." Cass announced.
" No they can't, they're gay." AJ quickly rebuttaled.
" They're not gay, I overheard, he had a wife, and she's dead now." Cass argued back.
Then he clutched his mouth, "oh no, mom told me not to remind you! I'm sorry!"
"It's fine, I didn't forget she's dead." Zemo assured him.
" Kids, we're not gay, we're bisexual, I could be with a man or a woman, my boyfriend here could be with a man or a woman, and we chose to be with each other." Bucky is trying to explain, flabbergasted.
"Is that why you both speak so many languages? Is that like an entry requirement to being bisexual? You have to know too many languages?" AJ was trying to understand
"Pretty much." Zemo told them with a smirk, and Bucky just rolled his eyes.
"Hey Captain America! There you are! America's heron" A loud voice interrupted them, and older man has found Sam.
"Yeah Uncle Ralph, You're the true hero, Sarah told me all about how much you helped her when I was gone." Sam hugged him.
"My little boy Sam, look at you all so big and grown. We have to help each other, half of everybody was gone."
Zemo and bucky watched as Sam was congratulated by everyone, and they felt proud, happy, and calm