Chapter Text
Richie didn’t know how long it had been, or how long he had been sitting on the ground. His mind felt hazy, like he was just waking up from a dream but not completely there yet. It felt weird, he felt numb and no matter how weird it felt, and how soothing all the same, he just wanted his mind to clear.
And yet, he couldn’t get himself to care much, just sitting there.
He could feel something wrapped around him, weighing him down but not constricting him. It was a comforting weight settled on his shoulder that he didn’t want to get rid of. He could feel something sliding up and down his arm, not moving much, but the soothing motion was still there.
Slight shivers wracked through his body, almost not noticeable because of the weight on his shoulders, and the weight at his side. Richie blinks slightly, turning his head to the side and blinking a couple more times as he takes in the sight of his mother, looking at him with a gentle smile.
“Hey handsome-” His mom laughs, and Richie feels himself calming down slightly. This was familiar, their banter. He sighs, leaning his head on her shoulder and closing his eyes. He didn’t feel like doing anything besides just sitting there, ignore the world, ignore his problems as much as he could.
Ignore what day it was today.
“Hey chum, are you with us again?” His dad’s voice sounded, and Richie blinks his eyes open again, staring up at his dad.
“m’ass hurts-” He mumbles, and his dad laughs, a low rumbling in his chest. Richie smiles despite himself.
“That’s what you get for sitting on the ground.” His dad smiles, and Richie frowns, as if he hadn’t realised it himself. He glances at his mom again, who was sitting next to him on the ground, back against the wall like him. How had he not realised that before? He shook his head slightly.
“How long was I out?” Richie mumbles, and his mom rubs his arm a little at that, comforting him.
“A little over 20 minutes,” She tells him, shifting slightly on the ground. Richie nods, sighing. “Are you okay to move to the couch?” She asks.
“Let me help-” His dad says, moving forwards. Immediately Richie tenses, eyes snapping open, now fully awake and he slams himself back against the wall. He winces, and his mom startles at the reaction, but Richie’s wide eyes were only on his dad, who had taken an all too sudden step forwards.
Immediately his dad backs up, and Richie’s eyes fill with tears.
“No d-dad, I’m sorry, I just… you startled me-” Richie tries hurriedly, but his legs felt wobbly beneath him, and he couldn’t get himself to stand up. His dad sighs, regret in his eyes as he slowly walks up to Richie at a slow pace.
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I shouldn’t have approached you like that,” His dad tries, reaching out and Richie latches onto his arm, shaking his head.
“I shouldn’t be afraid in the first place, I don’t want to be afraid of you,” Richie says, and his dad sighs, hanging his head.
“I know kiddo, I don’t blame you, I never did. It’s not your fault.” His dad tries, but Richie’s not convinced.
“I should’ve said something sooner-” Richie whispers, and his dad sighs.
“That wasn’t your job Richie, it has never been a child’s job to do that.” He says, and Richie nods reluctantly, knowing he’s not going to convince his dad here. “Can I help you up?” He asks, and Richie feels his cheeks burn in embarrassment at the question, his dad shouldn’t have to ask this in the first place.
So he nods, and his dad carefully picks him up, carrying him over to the couch. His mom climbs up from the spot, groaning as she pops her joints with audible cracks. Richie giggles into his dad’s arms.
“She’s getting old-” Richie laughs in his dad’s arms.
“Hey I heard that young man!” His mom cries out, and his dad chuckles at that. “I’m 33, I know people who are pregnant at my age.”
“And nothing wrong with that-” His dad cuts in.
“Oh shush Went, that’s not going to happen, one terror is enough-” His mom laughs, and Richie can hear her slapping his dad playfully. His dad puts him down on the couch in the living room, and his mom is immediately at his side, allowing him to snuggle close to her. He smiles softly.
She always knew that he craved physical contact the most after such a panic attack, or any time he wasn’t feeling okay. Something about it just made him feel safe, protected. And it was also why his parents made sure to always be there on this day. This was just the first time it had happened while away from home.
“Would you have wanted to if you didn’t have me?” Richie whispers softly, and his mom frowns, looking down.
“Do you mean if I would trade you?” His mom asks, almost shocked. Richie shrugs.
“I wasn’t planned,” Richie mumbles, but his mom shakes his head.
“Get that ridiculous thought out of your head,” She whispers lovingly, stroking his cheek. “I don’t care if you weren’t planned, you’re the best thing that ever happened to us, and I would never trade you, ever. I love you so much Richie.”
“I love you too,” Richie whispers, laying his head down again. His mom sighs, wrapping her arm around him again.
“Do you want to talk about what happened today?” She asks softly, carting her hands through his unruly curls. Richie sighs, watching as his dad walks back over to them with three glasses in his hands. Richie made no move to grab them, his limbs still shaking ever so slightly in his lap.
He felt exhausted, as if he had just run a marathon, as if someone had injected lead in his veins.
“I had a nightmare, so I was already on edge I guess. But during lunch, Eddie was talking about his mom, but I couldn’t focus on what he said and he snapped at me for it. And I don’t blame him, he has his own problems and I should’ve listened, but I just couldn’t, and I guess it was just the last straw.” Richie says softly, voice surprisingly steady.
His dad sits down next to him, just watching silently.
“Did you tell him about us?” His mom asks, and Richie stills as he feels his mom find one of his scars, lightly tracing it. It didn’t bother him, the scars itself did, but not when his mom touched them. She was gentle, remorseful. Richie shook his head.
“No he doesn’t know, I don’t know if I’m ready,” Richie admits softly.
“Are you afraid he’s going to judge you for it?” She asks, but Richie shakes his head softly. “Are you afraid he’s going to judge us?” She continues, and Richie’s eyes widen.
“Mom no-” He protests all too quickly, shaking his head. “He won’t judge you for it, it wasn’t your fault.” He says, and Maggie sighs, nodding in defeat. They’ve had this conversation way too many times now, and every time they came to the same stalemate, and neither of them would give in.
They each blamed themselves, but refused to allow the other to blame themselves.
“He won’t blame you, but I’m still scared to tell him, all of them. What if they will think differently of me?”
“Different doesn’t always mean bad. Beverly didn’t think less of you when she found out-” His dad points out, but Richie groans.
“I know but I’m still scared. I’ve only told Bev, never anyone else,” He whines, running a hand through his hair.
“Is it easier if they found out, like Stan?” His dad asks, but Richie shakes his head.
“I don’t know, it’s not the same. Stan was there when it happened, Stan knew me before.” Richie complains. “I just don’t know what to do, if I should tell him or not-” He adds, sounding all too vulnerable.
“Do you need to decide right now?” His mom asks, and Richie sighs, shaking his head. “Then stop worrying about it for now silly, you have all the time to tell him, and he’s certainly not going to be mad at you for not telling him sooner, not if he’s like you described him.”
“Yeah you’re right-” Richie admits, and his mom smiles brightly, nudging his side.
“Aren’t I always?” She laughs, and Richie rolls his eyes, settling against her fully.
“Just sometimes.”
*
*
*
He almost felt like he just wanted to bolt the moment Eddie opened the door, brown eyes going wide as he took in his appearance.
“Hey-” Richie croaks, and Eddie blinks, frowning slightly. “Can I come in?” He asks softly, and Eddie nods numbly, stepping back. Richie walks into the living room, glancing around almost uneasily but there was no one home, just Eddie.
“What is that for?” Eddie asks, gesturing to the flowers in Richie’s hand. The curly haired boy seemed too awkward for his own good, seemingly out of place like he somehow didn’t belong anymore. Which was weird because even when Richie didn’t know someone, he somehow fit in a space.
Even the first time he came to this home he fit right in, filling a space instead of overflowing it.
“I didn’t know what else to get,” Richie says, handing the flowers to Eddie, who raises an eyebrow. “I know it’s super cliché Eds, but I’m.. I’m really sorry about yesterday-”
“You’re sorry?” Eddie interrupts him, cocking his head. “What are you sorry for?” The flowers fell heavy in Richie’s arms, and he lowers it almost hesitantly.
“I snapped at you, what are you sorry for?” Richie retorts, genuine confusion in his voice.
“For snapping at you.” Eddie responds softly, slowly. There was a silence, where both of them stared at each other without saying anything. Then, Eddie scoffs. “You’re an idiot-” He deadpans and Richie gasps dramatically.
“Moi?” He cries out. “We’re both idiots here.” He chuckles as a retort, and Eddie shakes his head but amusement was clear on his face. Eddie eyes at Richie before reaching for the flowers, taking it from the curly haired boy.
“It’s very thoughtful-” Eddie muses, lingering for a moment more before turning around and walking to the kitchen and grabbing a vase that was on the ground.
“That’s oddly specific to have in a student dorm-” Richie snickers, gesturing to the vase as Eddie fills it with water. Eddie looks at him with a raised eyebrow.
“You gave me flowers and yet you’re criticising us having a vase… which is meant for, you know, flowers?” Eddie retorts, and Richie grins sheepishly.
“Yeah I might not have thought that through, I thought maybe you could put it in a bucket or something, I know you have on in the bathroom-”
“Bill puked in that last week after a party so no thank you.” Eddie grimaces, putting the vase back on the counter and taking the flowers.
“Woah woah woah!” Richie stops him, darting forwards and taking the flowers. “What are you doing?” He asks, and Eddie frowns.
“Putting flowers… in a vase-” Eddie says, and Richie laughs light-heartedly, shaking his head and taking the flowers out.
“You have to cut the stems first, didn’t anyone ever teach you?” Richie almost scowls, but not seriously so. He rummages through the cabinets, grabbing a sharpy knife and grabbing one of the flowers to lay it flat on the counter. Eddie watches with curiosity as Richie cuts off a few inches of the stem at an angle.
Richie grabbed more flowers, cutting the stem of multiple at the same time.
“Why though?” Eddie asks, and Richie flashes him a grin as he puts the flowers in the vase.
“Why not?” Richie retorts, and Eddie huffs.
“I swear if you’re quoting TikTok right now-” Eddie says but Richie just laughs light-heartedly, shaking his head.
“It’s for the water intake, easier for the flower to take in water. You know, something a flower needs-” Richie says, and Eddie steps forwards, snaking an arm around Richie waist.
“Only flowers?” Eddie whispers, and Richie looks down at him with a soft grin, kissing him gently.
“Not me. Wrong bitch-” Richie chuckles against Eddie’s lips, earning him a slap.
“I swear I created a monster when I showed you that app,” Eddie growls.
“Oh no you didn’t create anything, you just enabled me. Besides, I don’t need water, I can survive on coffee alone,”
“Which has water genius-” Eddie shoots back but Richie kisses him again. Eddie shuts up at that, moaning in Richie’s mouth and tipping his head back. Richie playfully nips at Eddie’s bottom lip, and reluctantly pulls away. Both of them breathing heavily, just staring at each other for a moment.
Eddie frowns at that, and Richie sighs. “Are we okay Eds?” He asks softly, and Eddie’s face softens slightly.
“If you stop calling me Eds-” Eddie shoots back, and Richie chuckles softly. “But yes, we’re okay.” Eddie adds, standing up on his toes again to reach Richie. Their lips meet again, and Eddie can hear Richie’s breath hitch, melting in the touch. Eventually it’s Richie who pulls out of the kiss again.
Eddie almost laughs at the sight of Richie, his glasses slightly askew and lips swollen, but he figured he didn’t look much better.
“Shouldn’t we like talk about this though? That’s what two respecting adults would do right?” Richie asks.
“Which is why you don’t-” Eddie retorts, and Richie let’s out an ‘oof’, putting a hand on his chest.
“Eds gets off a good one, straight to the heart.” Richie cries out dramatically, and Eddie slaps him again, rolling his eyes. Richie grins at him before a more gentle look settles on his face. “But seriously, I was an ass yesterday but I’m here now if you still want to talk.” Richie brigs up again and Eddie sighs.
For a moment he’s silent, gnawing at his bottom lip before shaking his head.
“Not now, I just want to have a good time now, forget everything-” Eddie says, staring up at Richie’s eyes. The two are silent for a few seconds, just staring before a smile spreads across Richie’s face.
“I can make you forget-” Richie murmurs, leaning forwards again before he could see the blush appearing on Eddie’s cheeks.
*
*
*
He wasn’t even surprised that Richie wasn’t here yet. It didn’t even matter that this was Richie’s own dorm, he was prone to being late to everything. Eddie smiles slightly to himself, grabbing a drink from the kitchen and turning around, looking around the room they were currently in.
There was music playing, not too loud for the conversations to be inaudible, but loud enough to be heard. Stan hadn’t invited many people in the end, which didn’t surprise Eddie either, as closed off as he appeared to some, Stan was an open book to Eddie on many fronts, so the ‘lack’ of guests wasn’t a surprise.
Of course all the Losers, minus Richie, were here. Bill had brought Audra and another good friend of Audra and Stan apparently. Mike had brought a girlfriend as well, and of course Patty was here. Eddie glances at their direction, Patty was standing in the corner next to Stan, a gentle smile on her face.
Patty reaches for Stan’s hand, looking at him.
“Is this okay?” She asks him, void of any judgement. Eddie walks over to them, just as Stan nods, squeezing her hand.
“So have you met everyone yet?” Eddie starts, glancing at Patty. The girl gives him a timid but genuine smile, shaking her head.
“Not yet, but I met you right?” She teases, and Eddie chuckles. He could see why Stan would fall in love with Patty. She was calm, empathetic, outgoing yet timid. It was a strange blend that somehow worked for her.
“Wait until you meet Richie-” Eddie snorts, and Patty shakes her head in amusement.
“Don’t worry, Stan already gave me the warning. Besides, I’ve had experiences with people worse than him.”
“I’m not even sure if he would see that as a compliment or an insult.” Eddie muses, and Stan rolls his eyes.
“As a challenge to be more annoying, so please don’t tell him,” Stan retorts, and Patty laughs at that.
“Do you work in retail or something?” Eddie asks, and Patty nods.
“I work at a little supermarket just outside campus, they sell vegan and biological products. But usually the customers are nice, it was my job before as a barista that had some.. let’s say interesting customers.” Patty remarks, and Eddie nods. He knew exactly what Patty was talking about.
He hadn’t worked in retail himself, but even he had seen plenty of encounters when he just came to California and took refuge in multiple coffeeshops before he had any friends. Bill had arrived at the campus a week later than he had after all, so for a while it was just him, in a strange state away from home for the first time.
“Besides, I usually go back to Belgium for a few weeks during the holidays to visit family, and one of my uncles has this café where I help out if necessary so I meet a lot of interesting customers there as well.”
“That bad?” Eddie chuckles, but Patty just shrugs.
“I mean not all of them, it’s certainly less than here but the culture it just different. Especially the Dutch part is very direct, I mean my parents are too but it’s still a big contrast, but they’re sweethearts, one time there was this girl with a group of friends-” Patty starts, stopping when she heard the door open.
“Get ready,” Stan remarks, glancing as Richie walks into his own dorm. He glances around for a moment, before quickly settling on Stan, Eddie and Patty. A smile appears on his face, and he quickly walks over to them.
“You must be Patty!” He introduces himself loudly, and to Patty’s credit, she doesn’t even look too surprised. Richie reaches over, hugging her quickly. “Holy shit you’re so tall.” Richie exclaims, pulling out of the hug and eyeing her up and down. Patty snorts.
“I’m just 5’8.” She retorts.
“Just 5’8? Please, that’s taller than Eds here,”
“I’m almost 5’9 you asshole, that’s basically average height, and just because you’re a gangly giant doesn’t mean I’m small-” Eddie scowls, to which Richie just grins.
“5’8 is average for where I’m from, I’m one of the smallest in my family,” Patty explains, shrugging slightly.
“Hear that Edsie spaghetsie, you’re above the average height.” Richie teases, and Eddie scowls.
“Well average height for women, men are like 6 feet-” Patty starts, but Eddie already whirls around to his boyfriend.
“Don’t you dare-” Eddie hisses, pointing a finger at Richie before turning to Patty. “Ignore him, you were telling about a girl with her friends?” Eddie changes the subject, to which Richie just grins brightly. Patty raises an eyebrow, glancing at Stan as if asking if this was normal behaviour.
Stan just shrugs, knowing it could get much worse.
“Oh yeah this Dutch girl came up to the counter with her friends and she wanted to order a Belgian waffle, so she started ordering in broken French, but she was trying so hard that I didn’t have the heart to tell her I could understand Dutch as well-”
“In what part were you?” Eddie asks.
“It’s in Brussel, which is officially bilingual but only in theory,” Patty explains. “So I was politely nodding along even if I already knew her order. But when I gave her the waffle my uncle spoke to her in Dutch. I felt so bad for her at that point, she was so embarrassed when she realised we could speak Dutch as well.” Patty says, and Richie snorts at that.
“I just told her that I could understand her French as well, but her friends thought it was hilarious as well and starting calling her out for it-”
“I would be horrified if that happened to me.” Eddie breathes out, and Patty smiles gently.
“It happens more often than you think, I just thought it was considerate that she tried.” Patty shrugs slightly.
“I wouldn’t even try.” Richie cuts in, and Eddie frowns.
“You don’t even know French-”
“Yes I do!” Richie retorts, and Eddie deadpans at him, crossing his arms. “I know bonjour, and vous les vous coucher avec moi-” Richie says, and Patty snorts out a laugh at the last one.
“Does he even know what that means?” She whispers in Stan’s ear, sneaking an arm around his waist. She glances at him for a moment, waiting to see if that was alright, but Stan nods.
“He’s stupid enough to not know, but shameless enough to use it if he does.” Stan smiles at Patty, lingering for a moment before glancing back at Richie and Eddie, who were now bickering about something. Stan sighs, shaking his head.
“Someone else is using their only brain cell-” Patty whispers, giggling softly, and Stan can feel his heart flutter slightly at that. He chuckles at that.
“It probably just fled.” He says, looking back at the kitchen. “You want something to drink?” He asks, and Patty grins, nodding as Stan guides her away from Richie and Eddie.