Chapter Text
It took Ellana the better part of a morning to work up the nerve to even approach the Commander. The elf found herself shifting her hair about in a vain attempt to hide the tips of her ears and a good portion of her vallaslin. She was uncomfortably aware of just how exotic she could seem to Fereldan and Orlesian alike, yet the marks upon her face seemed to grant her a strange sort of respect among the shem. She also knew just how much smaller her people were compared to Cullen's. The looking glass reflected the opposite of what most shem found pleasing: small breasts settled upon a slim torso that barely flared into narrow hips.
And yet you've had absolutely no problems prancing about naked around him, she chided herself. This is ridiculous.
Ellana strode into the Commander's tower with her back straight and her head held high. Cullen was behind his desk, a report in hand as he paced in front of the window. The afternoon sun filtered in, highlighting his golden curls and the deep chocolates of his cloak in a way that made the elf falter slightly. The lieutenant that stood in the corner quietly excused herself as the Inquisitor stared at Cullen's striking figure.When the door clicked shut behind her, Ellana cleared her throat as she approached. Cullen's head snapped up, eyes narrowed in irritation before lighting up when he realized it was her and not another messenger. The knot of nerves that had bunched in her stomach eased ever so slightly and she smiled.
"Do you have a moment to talk?" she said, fingers absently trailing over the myriad piles of papers on his desk. "Alone?"
"Alone?" he echoed before catching himself. "I mean, of course."
They were silent as they made their way to the battlements that overlooked the courtyard and had the best view of the mountain range. Their fingers would occasionally brush together as they walked, and she could sense the tension in him as easily as she could as a wolf. The knot of nerves in her stomach returned ten fold, terrified of asking too much of him too fast. Once they had reached the battlements, Ellana moved away from Cullen and gazed at the mountains in the distance in an effort to collect her thoughts.
He used to be a templar, the now familiar anxiety whispered, taking on Solas' voice. When he looks at you, he sees a demon. He doesn't understand what it's like to run under the moonlight with the Fade flowing through your fur. The Fade inspires only fear in his kind, no one can understand you like I-
"It's a nice day," Cullen said softly after a minute or two had passed in silence.
Ellana was startled out of her thoughts, turning to stare at him. "What?"
"It's..." The Commander trailed off, his hands flitting to the hilt of his sword before settling to clasp behind his back. "There was something you wished to discuss?"
"Cullen, I care for you and..." Ellana sighed in frustration, raking a hand through her hair.
"What's wrong?" Cullen asked.
Taking a deep breath and straightening her back, Ellana met his eyes. "You left the templars, but do you trust mages? Could you think of me as anything more?"
For a moment, Cullen just stared at her before the meaning of her words finally clicked. "I could," he said quickly, for fear of making her more nervous than she already was. Part of him still couldn't believe that the conversation was happening. "I-I mean, I do...think of you." He cleared his throat, feeling foolish. "And what I might say in this sort of situation."
Emboldened, she took another step foward. "What's stopping you?"
"You're the Inquisitor," he said, his hands moving to grip his sword hilt. His heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest. "We're at war, and you..." Cullen laughed softly, shaking his head. "I didn't think it was possible."
Ellana reached out and took one of his hands, feeling his fingers twitching slightly before the tension drained out of him. "And yet I'm still here."
"So you are," he replied, all traces of nerves gone. Her touch seemed to energize him, his fingers interlocking with hers as he closed the distance between them. Leaning down, his lips were mere inches from hers but he had to be sure. "It seems too much to ask, but I want to--"
A door slamming open nearby straightened Cullen's back instantly, his eyes snapping toward the interruption. One of the newer messengers was striding towards them, a file in hand and Cullen's blood nearly boiled. Ellana's hand was still snugly within his and she gave him a gentle squeeze, calming him before the messenger deigned to glance at the Commander.
"Commander," the man began, stopping in front of Cullen. Because of her stature, the Inquisitor was all but hidden behind him. "You wanted a copy of Sister Leiliana's report."
"What?!" Cullen snarled, releasing Ellana and taking a step towards the man.
The messenger looked about ready to turn tail and flee as the Commander towered over him. "Sister Leiliana's report," he said meekly. "You wanted it delivered 'without delay'." With the Commander out of the way, the man glanced over and saw the Inquisitor looking as though she wanted nothing more than to disappear into the floor. Realization struck finally and he slowly started back the way he had come. "Or...to your office. Right."
Ellana bit her lip, shifting nervously as she watched the door close behind the messenger. "If you need to--"
Cullen turned on her in an instant, his hands moving to cup the sides of her face as his lips met hers. Her soft sound of surprise melded into a moan and she gripped the fabric of his cloak tightly. One of his hands drifted to her hip, pulling her against him roughly as he deepened the kiss. When they finally parted, Cullen's face was flushed and he ran his thumb over her swollen lower lip while he caught his breath.
"I-I'm sorry," he murmured. "That was, um...really nice."
Ellana grinned up at him even as she ran her fingers up and down the length of his back. "That was what I wanted."
"Oh." The look on Cullen's face made her laugh and he smiled in turn. "Good."
Their lips met again, this time infinitely gentler. The raw desperation that had consumed him moments ago was replaced by tenderness, one of his hands coming to cup the back of her neck as the other wrapped around her waist. Her lips opened when his tongue brushed along her lower lip, asking for permission and a soft whimper escaped her throat. When they parted this time, the Commander took a step back and was the image of consummate professionalism aside from the mischevious glint in his eyes.
"I should probably see to Leiliana's report," Cullen said with a sigh. "As much as I would like to stay."
"Meet me tonight?" Ellana asked earnestly. "Our usual place, of course."
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Cullen turned and started back towards his office, an easy smile on his face for the first time in what felt like years.
"It's a date then?" Ellana called out after him.
If she had been in wolf form, her tail would have been wagging. The thought made Cullen laugh. "As you say, Lady Inquisitor."