Chapter Text
“Luffy, what are you doing here?”
Vivi almost choked on her own saliva, widening her eyes as she saw the strawhat boy make his way inside the gymnasium. His sandals produced their infamous flip flop sound on the blue vinyl floor, where lines demarcated badminton fields. “And you’re…?”
The boy flashed his best smile, seeing that his blue-ponytail friend had noticed his brother. “This is Ace! And we have to help you do things for the sports competition. Smoker was cool with the punishment!”
“You should not be proud of yourself!” the class-president lamented. “But… nice to meet you finally… I guess?”
She saw Ace move forward and push his brother behind.
“Sorry for the trouble, it’s my fault, really,” he apologized, though his body language expressed the exact opposite. Putting his hands in his pockets and smiling at Vivi, he explained. “Luffy got himself in hot water from the beginning, so I chose to go down with him. But at least you get two more pairs of arms for all that building work!”
He designated the pseudo-podium that was currently being built in the back of the gymnasium, where enough space was left to welcome the students at the closing ceremony. Vivi could only agree.
“Yes, even if it’s not the best way to get here to help,” she almost lectured them. “But as you can see, we’re trying to build a stage for the winning club. We’re a bit overwhelmed, so if you could carry the planks and-”
“Oh my God, you rascals!”
Sabo’s voice echoed through the gymnasium, as his Students Council fellow associates raised their heads in stupor. The blonde dropped the boxes he was carrying and ran in Luffy and Ace’s direction, displaying a smile so large that one could see his missing tooth – a childhood memory. He jumped at their neck, as the three began to laugh and snort in an incomprehensible touching mess, to Vivi’s surprise on the side.
“I heard you were grounded on the first day!” he burst out in laughter. “Why are you here? To help us overthrow- I mean, organize the yoga class?”
“The what now?” Ace snorted.
“Shit, that’s top secret information,” the blonde said as he let it slip anyway. “Too bad. We’re throwing a big yoga session after the sports representations. It’s better for students who don’t like sports, or broken ribs.”
“Y-yes, broken ribs are bad,” Vivi added.
“Dude, we’re not a retirement house! You’re all gonna get lynched by kendo and football clubs if you plan a fucking yoga class,” Ace retorted, fighting a giggle. “Or worse, they could take part in it.”
“Don’t worry,” Sabo countered, wagging his finger. “We plan on exhausting them with a big race right before. The route will around the school like a real marathon. And it’s the perfect tactic to put all the brainless baboons together and let them kill each other with no collateral victims!”
“There’s a way to say it and it’s definitely not that one,” Vivi complained.
“I WANNA PARTICIPATE IN THE RACE, SABO!” Luffy yelled at full volume, to Brook’s great pleasure in the back of the gymnasium. It was after all his idea, and it seemed to be popular.
“Why am I not surprised?” Ace mocked. “Well, count me in too.”
“I thus take that you consider yourselves as brainless baboons, but I’ll go with it,” Sabo said. “In the meantime, how will you help us here?”
The two black-haired hooligans managed to adopt the same idiotic proud air simultaneously, closing their eyes and flexing their muscles. “We’ll build the stage, of course.”
“Of course. The two of you?”
Ace felt the need to correct. “Luffy will build it, and I’ll handle the playlist in order not to inconvenience his work.”
“That’s… definitely not what you said just now,” Vivi noted with a jaded gaze. She then directly addressed the youngest of the three. “Luffy, you can come with me on the podium. Fortunately, a third year who’s good at carpentry did most of the job. We just have to add some handrails and beams to hang the banner.”
“Sir, yes, sir!”
And the two first-years detached themselves from the group, hopping towards the stage stripped of any decorative feature. While Vivi showed the strawhat boy the overall plans and gave her orders, Ace waved Sabo goodbye and reached a laptop. It was laid on a table in a corner, and its screen displayed a Spotify playlist that bore the purpose of being fun.
Mm. Who the hell had put the Communist Internationale in there? With a mischievous grin, the freckled man seized the mouse and began executing his diabolical plan.
What? A yoga class is dull as hell. It’s not going to be fun unless he puts things back on the right track. Literally.
Luffy was firmly holding his hammer in one hand, and the nails in another. Crouching above pieces of wood laid on the podium floor, he tried to assemble them. With great success. A few inches further away, Vivi was getting busy fixing the vertical beams, hitting pieces of metals with infinite care. An afro-endowed head suddenly popped on the boy’s left, leaning on the platform.
“Hello, you’re Vivi’s first-year friend, aren’t you?”
“Yep, that’s me. And I’ll be the pirates king one day!” he shouted as usual.
“My, my, what an agenda! I’m Brook, a third year. I heard you wanted to participate in the great race?”
The strawhat hectically nodded, brandishing his hammer a bit too close to Brook’s face. “Hell yeah! I’ll show everyone how strong I am!”
“That’s the spirit, young man!” Brook exclaimed. “But tell me,” he got closer to lower his tone, to make sure Vivi and Koala would not hear him. It obviously caught Luffy’s attention. “It was my idea originally. And I wanted the winner to get a prize, to motivate participants of course… Because I’m scared no one – except you – would run just for fun. You know, like in the Telethon.”
A pair of dark eyes began sparkling in front of Brook. “A prize?! Really?!”
“Shhh, it’s top secret information!”
“Oh, sorry,” the boy tried to murmur. “A prize? Really? Could it be anything I want?”
Brook let his mind wander for a few seconds, getting off the topic and softening his voice like an old lubricous man. “Yeeeeah… Anything you want… I shall grant you, if you participate and tell others to do so…”
Luffy took Brook’s hand enthusiastically, stuffing nails in his palm by the same occasion. “AOUCH!”
“Oh, sorry! Yeah of course I’ll do it! I want as many enemies as possible!”
“I mean… not necessarily enemies, but contenders!” Brook acquiesced. “For my part, I will speak to the most beautiful girl of my class, so that your dream can come true. It’ll be a fantastic race if she’s involved!” he exclaimed as his depraved tone resurfaced.
“Mmmm, yeaaaah,” Luffy’s mind went astray, already thinking about mountains of fresh and perfectly-seasoned meat, which was definitely not what Brook was alluding to. A few moments later, a clear raised voice disrupted the gentle hammers blows, the wood creaking and the pens writing in the gymnasium.
“My job here is done!” Ace declared theatrically, making his shirt fly like a cape, tiptoeing his way out.
“But you didn’t do anything!” Vivi protested from afar.
“Wrong! You now have a Grammy Awards-certified playlist that will attract everyone to your yoga session!”
“That’s exactly my plan, hahaha!” Sabo exclaimed maniacally from his working spot. He was stuffing propaganda flyers under the yoga balls disposed in the middle of the vast sports room. “I mean, our plan.”
“Wait!” Luffy challenged while dropping his hammer. “If you’re going, then why should I work any longer?! I want a snack!”
The blue-haired class president quickly and nimbly approved, rooting her feet in the podium while carrying her boxes. “That’s right! Come at least help me with those cardboards, please!”
“Sir, yes, siiiir…” Ace mumbled with sarcasm, though he ran to the platform to help. He reached the little stairs built on the right side of the stage, went up and caught the upper part of Vivi’s heavy package. Still wearing his dilettante grin, criticizing Luffy every now and then about his inability to bang nails, he executed round trips from one side to the other with heavy boxes. He gave some to Brook and Viola, received planks in exchange, like in a merry carpentry ballet. Eventually, they all managed to fix the podium and raise cute little handrails; a white banner marked with big colorful feltpen letters was lying at their feet. Luffy yelled the snack break and leaped off the podium, ditching his tools to everyone’s terror. Vivi and Ace took a break too, panting a little due to the effort and awkwardly laughing off their fatigue.
“Thanks for the help, really,” she happily said, bent in two and resting her hands on her thighs.
“No problemo. I have to admit, the Students Council is doing some pretty insane planning,” Ace acknowledged, taking a look at the stage and the room. He could see Sabo from afar, who was announcing to Luffy that no meat was on the menu. “You’re the class president, right?”
“I am!” Vivi chirped, though still not accustomed to the prestige of her function. “But I won’t let myself be trodden upon!”
“Aah, sorry to break it to you, but first years are everyone’s whipping boys. Or girls,” he gurgled.
“Why are you telling me that?” she fought the urge to cry. “Tactfulness is definitely not your family’s strongest suit…”
“Meh, I’m telling the truth! Especially you, you look like the straight As student. No flattery intended.”
“I feel like I’ve heard this phrase before and it’s definitely not true,” Vivi mumbled. After all, she happened to get B+ in physics, sometimes. How long was it going to take until people saw she was like everybody else? A damn long time, judging by Ace’s genuine hilarity when it came to torment young nerds.
“I hope your carpentry skills won’t provoke a catastrophe on stage,” the freckled guy continued his jesting. “And Luffy’s not my real bro, if you must know. We’re bros in heart. Heartbros.”
“That doesn’t mean anything but I get the idea. And did you just insult my skills?” Vivi jokingly shot, moving to the front stage to get a water bottle. She also grasped one for Ace, who motioned towards the new handrail. The class-president handed a transparent bottle as her interlocutor leaned on it, resting his pale arms on the wooden piece. And suddenly, they both heard a crackling noise.
Under Vivi’s terrified gaze, Ace felt the handrail give way under his weight. He widened his eyes like a dreading goldfish as he was drawn into the void. In those moments of utter fear where the reptilian brain reigns supreme, he threw his hand in front of him to… catch. Not anything in particular, but catch. A rather stupid call, yes, but it happened faster than he wanted. In no time, Vivi’s extended hand, holding the water bottle, was gripped by the guy and pulled as well. The class president changed her worried expression into a mix of panic and anger, her jaw unhinging to let out a shriek. They both fell down the stage, and bounced.
Bounced, because Brook had placed a yoga ball underneath the two falling carpenters with unprecedented reactivity. Unfortunately, rather than to save them, it momentarily reduced their impact only to launch them further with greater projection. Ace and Vivi screamed their lungs out under everyone’s helpless gaze, as gravity did its job. The freckled boy crashed first in an astounding noise, and Vivi followed closely, landing right on him. She felt with horror and embarrassment the warm skin underneath the school uniform that cushioned her fall, and made her roll away pathetically. Their friends gathered around their lifeless bodies at light speed.
“ARE YOU TWO OKAY?!” Sabo screeched more than asked. Luffy couldn’t stop laughing.
“Hahahaha, that was so funny! Hope you’re fine!”
“Of course not we’re not fine!” Vivi yelled just after standing up, shaken up but safe. She rushed to her strawhat calamity to grab his collar and shake him like a plumtree. “YOU were the one to build the handrail!!! Look what you’ve done!”
Ace was indeed agonizing on the floor, arms spread out to form a cross. “I’ll never insult nerds again…” he articulated. “Because you’re the worst of all, Luffy.”
“Yeah, sorry sorry! I guess I didn’t figure out the nails and wood part!”
“IT’S THE MAIN PART!”
“There’s more important,” Brook interrupted while crouching next to Ace. “First of all, I saw Vivi’s pants-”
The blue-haired girl sent a flying kick inside Brook’s tibia, which provoked another cracking noise akin to the handrail breaking. The afro student held back his tears.
“Huhuuu… I mean… Are you hurt, Ace?”
The concerned party straightened his back, but quickly winced in pain, little wrinkles creasing his freckled skin. “Fuck… I think I sprained my ankle.”
“WHAT?! No, it’s bad!” Luffy exclaimed.
“Yeah no shit, detective!” Sabo shouted while hitting him behind the head. “What do you think happens when you fall like that?! It’s already a miracle that Vivi is fine.”
“It’s mostly because Ace played the carpet…” she retorted.
“There’s a way to say it, and that’s definitely not it…” Ace said with a sour laughter. “The class president can’t get hurt, though. But I can.”
Vivi kneeled next to him, permeated with guilt, looking at his ankle, at the stage, at Luffy, and back at his ankle. She was cupping her tanned chin as if it would help her focus, which did not. “I have to take you to the school nurse!” she professed with the little dignity she had left, hand on her heart. “Brook, help me!”
The third year complied benevolently, slipping his arm around the wounded’s waist as Vivi imitated him. Once on his painful feet, Ace addressed his “Heartbros” as if he would never come back. “It’s okay if I can’t attend the sports competition and the amazing yoga class,” he stated. Then, he took his best afflicted air, slumping his shoulders and falsely moaning to guilt-trip Luffy. “But my spirit should be filling the air, so please play my playlist.”
***
The sports competition finally took place, and too rapidly to the Students Council’s taste.
Instead of the day-to-day school routine into which most students fell since September, the end of classes was now impatiently awaited. The sun was still brightly shining during the day, as a token of summer’s permanence, but a light breeze blew more regularly and proclaimed the imminent arrival of fall. The wind rushed through the fence’s gaps, rolled inside the vast green spaces that girdled the building and swept away dead leaves on the football field. It carried the unleashed shouting and yelling of fans huddled on the benches of the mini-stadium. Among the feverish encouragements and the palpable tension on the green grass, tension reached its paroxysm. The football match was about to begin.
“Erm, hello everyone!” a round and cordial voice attempted in a microphone, whose low quality produced a screeching noise. Teachers and students winced under the amplified pain. “Sorry about that! I guess you all know me by now, the P.E. teacher. I’m Shanks and I’ll be refereeing the game today!”
He was a middle-aged man with the copper complexion of explorers and the flamboyant red hair of a celebrity. Standing in the middle of the field with his shorts, he projected an undeniable benevolence, in contrast with the inhibited hostility emanating from the two football teams. The students continued screaming their lungs out, to endorse their respective idols.
“Please calm down, this is a mere high-school match.”
“My ass, it is!” Sanji’s deep voice interrupted, coming from Shanks’ left. Adorned in navy blue jersey like the rest of his team, the blonde threw his last cigarette in a trashcan and stopped a few inches away from the PE teacher. He rooted his spiked sneakers into the grass, challenging his incoming adversary and captain of the opposite team. “It’s our honor that’s at stake.”
“Yeah, and get ready to hara-kiri yourself in 90 minutes,” Zoro boasted, mirroring his trajectory and coming up to Shanks as well. He exhibited his vibrant green jersey that perfectly reminded the audience of his hair color (as if it was necessary).
“We’ll see who’ll go back crying like a shitty samurai, moss-head!”
“I hope you changed your spice for cocaine, ‘cuz you’re gonna need it!”
Their violent bickering that threatened to turn into a massacre echoed across the field, and reached Luffy’s bench. “I don’t get it,” Nami sighed. “Why are they so angry about a football match?!”
“You couldn’t understand, Nami! It’s the game’s fever, the heat of the moment, a man’s honor-” Usopp blathered while trying to sound convincing.
“COME ON GUYS, I WANT YOU TO WIN!” Luffy once again disrupted the conversation at 500 decibels, jumping from his seat and scaring his surroundings.
“How do you know the bonsai-head one? And it’s impossible for them both to win!” Chopper inquired.
“Met him in detention, a great guy! He’s part of my crew!” the strawhat boasted.
“Yeah right, in detention. I bet he is,” Nami added, worried about Luffy’s acquaintances.
The whistle sound took them all by surprise, and signalled the beginning of a struggle to death. To their astonishment, the level of players was far above what you usually find in a high-school: the ball was immediately thrown into the air swiftly, retrieved by a player, and exchanged by the teammates. The grooved soles laminated the tender grass, leaving big marks on the ground as strikers bumped into each other. Shanks was trying to follow while dodging ferocious tackling, especially recurrent between the two captains, Zoro and Sanji. The latter was inexorably the best, making cheeky backheel flicks and shooting in the ball with unparalleled power; nonetheless, the kendoist was driven by spite and pugnacity, which almost made up for his lack of technique. To be completely honest, the match was progressively turning into a duel between the two, as the strength of their attacks – being closer to boxing than football – dissuaded any teammates from intervening. Luffy and his friends were amazed by the intensity of the match: fear flashing before her eyes, Vivi recalled what Sabo said twice about broken ribs.
“REFEREE! FOUL!” Zoro howled like a beast, pointing his finger at the blonde who answered with a middle-finger. Shanks jogged to the player while trying to wear his best diplomatic smile.
“For the love of God, please, calm down! A step-over is not a foul just because you can’t stop it!”
“It’s a loser’s move. It’s unworthy and should be sanctioned.”
“Don’t worry, moss-head! The botanic garden is not far for a second career!” Sanji blustered as he made the ball go around his leg with dexterity.
“I’ll fucking obliterate you on the tatami, just so you know!”
“Oh my God everyone, it’s her!”
A random voice overcame the heated exchange and draw the attention of all football players. In a collective gasp, every student sitting on benches turned a head to the source of the noise, and sought the object of such fuss. “What’s going on?” Nami inquired, following the movement along with her classmates. Suddenly, the second and third-years seemed to whimper in admiration, letting out softened gasps and joining their hands in adoration. “It’s her! Boa actually came!”
As a matter of fact, an incredibly tall girl pierced the metal stairs with her heels, presumably to take a look at the football match too. She was surrounded by peers that resembled bodyguards more than classmates, and for a reason: her body, just like her face, was stunning. Unreasonably long onyx hair flowed behind her, moving along her determined steps that made her hips roll in grace; her haughty head carriage only highlighted the delicacy of her traits, the milky whiteness of her skin and her cat eyes narrowed by disdain. She had thrown the regulatory white shirt on her wide shoulders like a cape, and wore a long skirt that suggested interminable legs. Once she had chosen a spot, the students moved naturally like sea parts with Moses and let her sit regally.
“Shit, she’s a beauty!” Usopp exclaimed, snatching Nami’s binoculars to stare at the girl. “She might be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen!”
“You’re right, no wonder she can show off like that,” the ginger outbid. She was soon pushed to the side by an overexcited Luffy.
“COME ON, SHOOT IN THE BALL SANJI!” he once again barked. But Sanji could not move. He was, by all accounts, petrified by the presence of the new spectator. Smiling like an idiot and lurching on the grass, he seemed mesmerized by the mysterious Boa who waited for the game to resume.
“An opening!” Zoro roared to his troops. “Onward, to the pervert!”
The green team snatched the ball away from Sanji, launching him onto the ground like an old sock. Luffy audibly gasped like the rest of the audience, and Shanks commented with his microphone the fantastic rebound, getting carried away.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe it! Despite the lack of technique, green team Zoro enters the defending penalty area! He keeps the ball firmly! He prepares his kick! And strikes and… GOOOOOAAAAL!”
The goal frame shivered under the blow, which distorted the white net and attested of a point for the green team. The stadium stood up like one man, cheering and encouraging the winning team. Zoro was at his peak, raising his tanned arms like a warrior and seeking the crowd’s love. He laughed like a maniac while Shanks whistled half-time, and motioned the players to have a break.
“That was the dumbest game I’ve ever seen,” Nami shot, sinking back into her seat while crossing her arms. “Sanji is a lost cause. He screwed up because of that chick!”
“But who wouldn’t be upset by her beauty?” Usopp rhetorically asked.
“Luffy, obviously, since he’s eating Kinder eggs right now.”
“Wow, where did you get them, bastard?!”
Vivi moved her head away from the fight between Usopp and Luffy to elaborate on the mysterious girl. “I think she’s a third year, Brook told me she’s in their class,” she explained to Nami. “And we’re desperately trying to convince people that she won’t give a kiss to the winner of the race.”
“Oh my God, men are dogs.”
But the phrase was out. Before the two girls even realized it, the false information went down their bench to diffuse in the rest of crowd. Another stark whistle noise brought them back to the reality of the field: the second half of the game was on.
“Aaaaand begin!” Shanks announced.
The same ferocity could be observed as in the first half. Sanji had finally been brought back to his senses, though his capacity was seriously undermined by Boa Hancock’s piercing sapphire gaze. But his only motivation henceforth was the image he would send to her and all the girls watching, so he fought even more bravely.
He suddenly saw Zoro outpace him by with the ball, running like a demon towards the goal frame. But Sanji did not move, fascinated by what was unfolding under his eyes. Shanks imitated him, his jaw falling off in stupor, so much that he almost dropped his mic. The stadium watched the green-haired guy as well, tensed in anticipation, but above all, completely dismayed by his action. And they saw him score another goal.
And another.
And another.
But no cheering was heard this time. Zoro finally turned his head to the referee, shrugging his shoulders in misunderstanding.
“He… HE HAS SCORED FOUR GOALS AGAINST HIS OWN TEAM! WHAT A DUMBASS!”
“What?” the kendoist iterated with eyes as wide as saucers. The football field soon transformed into a stand-up comedy theater since everyone began laughing uncontrollably. Sanji in the front line.
“Bwahaha, you really are something!” he blurted out mockingly, holding his ribs and almost suffocating.
“Zoro, please tell me you know the rules of football,” Shanks implored.
“I scored like the first time?!” the concerned party choked on his saliva. “What the fuck is going on?!”
“Goals CHANGE during the second half of the game, you stupid tennis ball!”
“I don’t do tennis, only kendo!”
***