Chapter Text
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6
***His memories***
He felt Pitch holding him a little closer. Then… music came, a distant and delicate music. It wasn't a very sad song, but there was something about the melody, like it was longing for something… 'But wait! We're in the middle of-'
“Keep your eyes closed, concentrate on the music, I will guide you.” Pitch murmured half annoyed half amused, as if he'd read Jack's thoughts, once more.
Jack pouted, but kept his eyes closed. And then, they began to dance.
The instrument, whatever it was, reminded Jack of something he’d heard before, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.
‘Whatever’ he thought.
He unconsciously leaned in Pitch's embrace. Dancing to the mysterious music.
Pitch truly was a great dancer. Even if he couldn't see, Jack could feel how his body easily responded to every step and every move Pitch made. Soon he completely abandoned himself and honestly, it almost felt better than flying. Slowly the music faded to a melancholic melody. Jack flinched slightly when he felt something soft and warm against his cheek. Jack's eyes flew open, Pitch had leaned and pressed his cheek against his.
“I wanted someone to know, I wanted a special person to see and understand… It had to be you and nobody else, Jack.” Pitch whispered.
“These are my memories...”
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“Your memories?”
As they kept waltzing through the glade, Jack realized what had never occurred to him before, Pitch had memories! Of course! ‘He has memories’ he thought mentally slapping himself. Since he was a spirit, he had died at some point, so obviously he had memories of his previous life, just like him.
Jack's next question was answered before he could even finish to think it.
“Unlike yours, my memories were never possessed by the tooth fairy... MiM kept them in a box...”
Jack’s eyes grew wide, he knew it! He knew he’d heard an instrument like this one before.
“A... music box?” He asked.
The Nightmare King drew away, he didn't answered, but the sorrow that flashed in his eyes gave Jack his answer.
“Keep your eyes closed, Jack. Let me show you who I truly am.”
And Jack didn't questioned, he closed his eyes again. Soon the melody of the music box came louder and clearer to his ears like it surrounded him. Pitch's pace changed following the new rhythm of the music, his steps were larger and more elaborated. Suddenly voice came to Jack's ears and the memories of a past that was not his, materialized.
As the images swirled in front of him, Jack realized that the music box, the memories and Pitch's pace were all synchronized. For each series of steps there was a memory and for each memory there was a change in the melody.
He saw everything, Pitch's family; his beautiful wife, their precious daughter, he saw the arrival of a terrifying legion of monsters made of fear and darkness and he witnessed the bravery of the general that Pitch was back then, he saw that same strong and fearless general guarding a giant gate, on his own. He witnessed, helpless, as the horrible creatures slowly crushed Pitch's mind and then his whole being and he saw his rebirth as a spirit, the birth of the Nightmare King. He saw all the horrible things the feared king and his army did.
All those memories swirled before his eyes and it just felt too real. If Pitch hadn't been holding him so tightly, he would have fell to the ground, overwhelmed. However, the memories were not over, the melody changed again, it wasn't as sad as the previous one, there was a note of hope to it. And now Jack could see...
"Me?"
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7
***The pain***
The memory ended like that, with him laughing heartily, leaving both spirits standing where it started: Under the bright light of the Moon in a glade lost in the middle of the North Pole.
Jack felt the grip around his waist loosen and before he could make a move, Pitch fell on his knees. Jack knelt in front of him and hold onto his robe preventing Pitch from falling completely into the snow. The poison had reached his neck and stray lines of gold were now climbing toward his face.
“B-but now you're not the Nightmare king anymore, you're-you're 'him' again aren't you? Isn't that enough to save you?” Jack asked a glimmer of hope in his clear blue eyes.
Now that he'd seen his story, he mainly felt sympathy for Pitch. Were the others aware of this? Did they knew about the “boogeyman's" past? Jack truly hope they didn't, because he wouldn't be able to forgive them, that he knew. As his thoughts got darker, his hold on Pitch's robe tightened until Pitch placed a gentle hand over Jack's.
“There's no we anymore, there's only me, glorious general or feared Nightmare King, I am only one person, who's been changed but... it's still me.” There was resilience in his words and his voice.
“I am the one who did all the horrors that you witnessed and who let everything even what was the most important behind. I was weak, and all the people I loved paid for my mistake.” Pitch closed his eyes tightly, he was visibly in pain, though it was hard to tell if it was either because of the memory or the poison, perhaps it was both.
Jack wanted to argue, to remind Pitch, that he did it for the most noble cause, that he was alone in front of those gates, alone to protect a world against a legion, that there was no way he could have known what would happen, but his voice was stocked in his throat. All he could do was shed silent tears as he hugged Pitch tight.
Pitch should have been the one crying his heart at that moment. Jack felt quite ridiculous being there, holding onto Pitch for dear life and bawling his eyes out, like he was the one who'd lost everything, like he was the one dying.
“I am pathetic.” he finally said laughing self-deprecatingly.
Pitch pressed both hands on his shoulders and weakly pushed himself away, so their eyes could meet once more.
Though he was not crying, the sorrow and the pain in his beautiful eyes made Jack's heart tighten even more. He could see it, the only reason why Pitch was not crying, was that there were no more tears left to cry.
Pitch's arms slumped on his side, numb. He shivered.
Jack frowned and without really thinking about it, he took one of Pitch's — now paralyzed — hand and gently pressed it to his cheek. He closed his eyes as Pitch started to talk.
“Nobody could stop me before you arrived. I had been the Nightmare King… for so long, I had forgotten everything and then you came. The children l-laughed again and I started to remember... Her laugh, it was just a blurred memory at the very back of my twisted mind, but as time passed and people started to have more fun and less fear in their hearts, more memories… Came back to me. A part of me was so mad and angry, spending so much time spreading fear all around, to finish unknown and forgotten! But mainly I was scared…”Pitch had to stop as a wave of pain over took him.
Jack tried really hard to ignore the fact that Pitch had started to stutter and that it was getting worse, he forced himself to pretend he had not noticed how Pitch kept taking deep quivering breaths to overcome the pain caused by the poison.
“Scared, of what&? You won't tell me you were scared of me?” He said in what he wanted to be an ironical tone.
Pitch snort. And if he noticed the tremor in Jack's voice he didn't let it show.
“I was scared because… slowly, but surely all those blurred memories were becoming… clearer. First, I remembered my old life as the general, then my wife, that’s when you and the guardians arrived and started to ruin my plans. Even then, all that… darkness inside of me was much stronger then the light provided by the good memories I had back... However it proved to be enough to weaken my powers as the Night-” Pitch was cut short by sharp wave of pain.
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8
***His last words***
By now Jack’s heartbeat had probably double speed, Pitch’s body was getting heavier and he seemed in so much pain and Jack couldn’t do a thing! His tears hadn’t stopped flowing, his voice had none but abandoned him and Pitch was apparently resolved to tell him everything, pain be damned. So Jack blindly searched for Pitch’s other hand and held it tight. He kept both his ears and his heart ready to listen. Jack understood now that Pitch’s true wish was to share his story with him, and to see him ignore the pain to do so, had the frost spirit understand how important this was.
“When I saw you again in the North… I remembered that I had a daughter, that memory drove me insane, I was so mad at you for bringing her back. All that was making me the monster I was… it was slowly being shred to pieces. My dark powers… were mostly gone, but I couldn't back… My army was ready. After that, came the day when you defeated me, when my… nightmares turned against me, the fear that they… felt, it had nothing to do with not being believed in anymore…"
Jack opened his eyes then and he saw Pitch's body tense and start quiver.
'“Pitch?”
When he talked again, his voice was nothing but a weak murmur and pain could be heard clearly behind almost every words.
"I wish you c-could understand that in the North… I was h-honest, I wanted… I was trying to stop, but I…"
Pitch went completely limp, Jack held him with both hands, preventing his dying body from hitting the frozen ground.
“I got you... Pitch? Hey? D-don't -” the winter spirit whimpered as he help the dying spirit lie down, placing Pitch’s head on his thighs.
“Jack Frost…You were never invisible, never to me.” Pitch whimpered.
Those words hit the winter spirit hard.
His mouth opened and closed but still no words came out. After all he'd seen and everything he'd felt, he wanted to yell at Pitch both in anger for showing him this now and in profound despair for him to leave like this after all he went through.
“This is not fair. You're not… fair” Jack cried as his vision blurred once more.
For only answer Pitch gave him a faint grin, as if saying 'what did you expect? I am the boogeyman!'
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9
***The stardust***
Too soon the grin was replaced by an expression of pain, the poison had reached his mouth, thin streams of golden fluid were escaping the corners of it. Jack's eyes grew wide, horror and helplessness clinging to his heart as he felt Pitch choking, his body trying in vain to expulse the poison.
And then, just like that — an impulse maybe —, he brought his lips to Pitch's and kissed him.
Somehow, that seemed to ease the pain. The shivering lessened and the choking stopped
Jack leaned a little further in, if he couldn't express everything he wanted in words, he would share everything through that one kiss.
'I think you are strong, you were never weak, you deserved better than this, I hope you find peace and if you can’t forgive yourself know that, I forgive you.'
And as he gently brushed a cold hand on an ashen grey cheek, he held Pitch tighter and what was a soft kiss turned into something deeper, something passionate.
'Oh and… I will miss you. I think I would've love you.'
When he broke their kiss, Pitch gave him one last smile, a sincere one and Jack knew that he’d been understood. The Nightmare King closed his eyes as the poison reached them and golden tears started to slide down the ashen grey skin. Jack felt him leave and then, nothing…
He never noticed the guardians coming out of wherever they were hiding, didn't felt Toothiana's comforting hand on his shoulder, he barely acknowledged MiM kneeling in front of him, talking to him.
“-forgive you too. It is time for you to be free, for once and forever, my old friend. May you be at peace.” That's all Jack heard. MiM slid his little hand few centimeters above Pitch's lifeless form and as he did so, Jack saw Pitch dissolve into spirals of golden dust which flew to the night sky beyond the moon, until there was nothing left but a feeling of loneliness and only one half of his heart.
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10
***The constellation***
Jack, MiM and the guardians were all sited around a big round wooden table in North's workshop. The subject of the meeting? Jack's behaviour of course!
“It's like you don't care about the children anymore…”
“…not careful with the ice and the storms and more accidents…”
“…Like he is not using his power to protect anymore, he lost his fun, maybe?"
Jack was not really listening, he was thinking about something else.
Today it would be ten years since Pitch's death and indeed he was not the spirit he used to be anymore. He tried to avoid the other guardians as much as he could, only going to the meetings when they insisted. Of course he still cared for the children, of course he had believers, but even with that, he felt empty, he felt like he was back to his old self and he knew exactly why. Which actually made everything worse.
“I just hope it’s not about Pitch Black, it’s been ten years mate! Time to move on!”
That took Jack out of his thoughts.
"Move on? I have been invisible to the livings for more than three hundred years and I was ignored by most of you for just as long.” Jack growled glaring at Bunny and MiM daring them to deny it.
“I alone and lost and it took three centuries before people could finally see me, before I felt complete... But that was until that very moment when he looked in my eyes. It was like a piece that I never knew I needed had been found. Back then, I said nothing, because I didn’t understand what I was feeling, I thought it was wrong and I didn’t wanted to disappoint you. But the truth is that even if we were enemies, even if what he did was wrong I was drawn to him. I felt like, more than seeing me, he understood me truly and I understood him too.
Jack looked at the Prince of the Moon all anger gone.
“I was finally shown what I always wanted and then you took it away from me, forever.”
After Jack's declaration, MiM looked uncomfortable, like he'd realize something very important.
“As for my powers, I use them the way I wish, but my storms are not bigger, my ice is not more dangerous. The kids don't have anything to fear from me... In fact, they don't have to fear anybody... You wanted fear gone. Done.”
Jack stood up and walked away out of the giant workshop not a single look to the guardians or to the Prince of the Moon. He didn't called the wind, didn't summoned a snow storm.
Still staring at Jack's now empty seat MiM talked.
"Today, the guardian Jack Frost, the spirit of fun, is no more."
All the guardians looked chocked.
“What! No, no, he's young... It will pass with time, yes?” Exclaimed North.
*!!!!!????* flashed Sandy.
Bunny, though he was silent, couldn't hide his surprise either.
Toothiana tried to go after him, but MiM stopped her, shaking his head sadly
“Time is the only remedy to a broken heart. However, what wonders can it make for a heart with its true half… dead?”
“What have we done...” Tooth cried suddenly understanding.
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Few years later.
“Another car crashed happened today, according to the police report, the young woman driving was going way too fast. When the car slid over a puddle of black ice, she lost control of her vehicle which ended its race in the middle of the other way before a snow truck crashed into it. Fortunately, and honestly this is a miracle, no one was severely injured.”
“Thank you Jamie. Well! It seems that many car accidents are caused by reckless youngsters. Over the twenty last years the number of accidents caused by fearless young adults has literally exploded! Maybe a bit of fear wouldn't be too much! Don't you think?”
“Like you say Caleb, seems like-”
Jack flew away from the window through which he'd been watching the news and let the wind take him back to the forest. The wind gently dropped him in the middle of a glade.
He looked at the sky, tonight was the anniversary of his death soon when the last rays of the sun would disappear they would come out. He stood there silent and then… there! There they were, near the little bear constellation, two stars shining brighter than any others, they were like two eyes looking at him, they reminded Jack of Pitch's dazzling eyes.
“Hey right on time! How you doing up there? Do you remember me? Come on, I know my face changed a bit and my hair are a bit longer but… It's been thirty years already and many things happen you know... Like I am not a guardian anymore, not really in touch with them anymore either, except for Tooth, she kinda insisted. Uh? Ah yeah, I know my body, right! Haha... I wonder if you'd recognize me. I don't really understand what happened but, over the first few years after you... left, I started to grow up, like literally! I remember, that day, when you said, that I looked like a man ha! Guess you'd fall on your ass if you could see me now... I don’t really know how old I look though..."
Jack was silent for a minute, he just gazed at the two stars, as if they would answer to him. He knew he was actually alone and talking to nothing, but it was that special moment every ten years that made him feel like his heart was complete again. So, sanity be damned!
"Tooth says I look like a 'mid-twenties'… But enough with me! Listen, here's something you wouldn't believe... I think people would need you right now, like, really! They're going crazy! Jamie…"
Jack stopped for a minute, he remembered that actually Jamie was the reason why Pitch's plan had failed back then! First he felt bad, but then he couldn't suppress his chuckle which turned into loud heartfelt laughter. He could clearly imagine Pitch frowning and telling him something like 'What the hell Frost? I am dead and supposedly in peace, could you not trouble my peace with sour memories!'
"Sorry, sorry!" Jack said finally regaining his composure.
"You know, he said that people could do with a touch of fear right now... See! I-I'm not the only one who wishes you were...”
Jack slowly slid to the ground as tears that he couldn't contain welled from his eyes, he took hold of his precious scarf and closed his eyes.
"Why did it had to be you? I don’t understand… How I could fall in love"
He stayed there on his knees oblivious of time. Suddenly, an illusion came to his mind, he could feel him kneel in front of him, place his slander hand on his cheek, gently brushing the tears away.
'Oh dear Jack, don't cry, I am with you. I love you too.'
Everything seemed so real the voice, just like the kiss and the embrace that followed. Jack wished this illusion would never stop. But soon the pressure on his lips and the loving hand on his cheek vanished. He opened his eyes, once more he was alone in the glade. His gaze went to the little constellation which was slowly fading as the sun rose…
"See you again in ten years." He said rubbing the tears off his eyes, he then upped into the wind and left the glade... Little did he noticed the snow prints that had mysteriously appeared right in front his...
It would take ten more visits for Jack to finally dare to open his eyes. Ten more visits for Jack to understand that he was not alone. A hundred years for Jack’s heart to truly feel complete again.