Chapter Text
After breakfast, Arthit barked his last orders as the head hazer to ensure that all the juniors were organised and ready to return to the university. The broken down bus had caused them a last minute round of rearrangement and his head was in pain. Climbing aboard their own assigned bus, Arthit settled on the inner seat beside Bright who was ridiculously prepared and closed his eyes.
It wasn't long however, till said junior who was the cause of his headache again came tentatively on the same bus, looking around for a space to sit. Their eyes met and Arthit quickly glanced away feigning nonchalance but was still acutely aware that the younger boy had taken a seat next to May he had so heroically given his name tag to, early in their SOTUS hazing.
A little wave of disgruntlement hit Arthit as he listened in (non-intentionally) on their casual conversation. How was it that this boy could be so calm and normal while his whole being was trapped in turmoil?
"Hoi Arthit! Are you okay? You’re quiet!” Bright's annoyingly loud voice boomed at his ear. “How can you go to sleep! We're still on a trip!"
Now if the idiot wasn't such a good friend of his, Arthit would have stuffed a sock into his mouth to shut him up. His head hurt from both the lack of sleep and was still reeling from the action of 0062.
He rolled his eyes and retorted, "I’m just tired. Unlike you who were dead drunk, I was up patrolling and making sure the first years were all in bed. So can you let me sleep now?"
Bright muttered a few more words of discontent and eventually left him alone, slipping into a nap of his own. Arthit threw one last glance Kongpob’s way before giving a dejected sigh and giving into the sleep wave that slowly crept upon him.
And once again he dreamt, a pair of piercing eyes gazing upon him. Kongpob was looking at him lovingly, and full of anticipation. He played with the gear that sat on his wrist. Looking at Kongpob’s wrist, Arthit realised there was nothing there. Had he not given it to his junior? If he hadn’t, then why was he still here. Why was he still by his side looking at him like that?
“Kongpob.”
“Yes P’Arthit?” Kongpob’s firm hands took Arthit’s into his lap.
“Do you have feelings for me?”
“Phi? Is everything okay? Why are you asking me that? You know exactly how I feel about you.”
“Do I?”
“Yes. Yes you do, P’Arthit. Do you not feel the same about me anymore? Is that why you’re asking me this?” Kongpob’s voice got infinitely smaller as insecurity crept its way in with the silence from the older boy.
“Phi, please don’t ask me to give your gear back. I can’t, I won’t.” Tears now welling up in his eyes.
His gear? He had given his gear away after all? Then why was he still so unsure of his feelings? A small glint of gold upon Kongpob’s bare chest under his shirt caught his eye. His gear - it was indeed with Kongpob. Arthit heaved a small sigh of relief, they were each other’s afterall.
“Phi, you promised. We’d try this together. You told me you’d be brave, for us.” The grip on his hand as the younger boy pleaded.
“We will.” Arthit promised, finally squeezing his hand back. Why had he been so scared? He didn’t want to love this boy so what was he doing here?
The soft roar of the bus engine startled Arthit out of his dream. He rubbed his eyes, blinking the sleepiness away. Turning to his left he found himself face to face with the junior of his dreams literally .
He jumped a little in his seat, “what are you doing here? Where’s my friend?” Arthit sputtered, trying to shift himself a little further away from Kongpob. His dreams have just scrambled his thoughts and feelings even more and he wasn’t ready to face him, not just yet.
“P’Bright joined the rest of the hazers at the back of the bus, and my seat is now occupied. P’Arthit, you can sleep if you’re tired.” Kongpob answered, flashing his signature smile.
Arthit’s heart fluttered a little as he cursed inwardly. Ever since the junior had given him his gear, he couldn’t think about anything else when facing him. He sure as hell wasn’t going to let him know that he was losing sleep over him now.
“How could I sleep? We’re on a trip!” Arthit faked, propping himself further up the seat, although his eyes said otherwise.
“Then.. Do you want a snack P’Arthit? Or what about.. This?” Kongpob asked, rummaging through a plastic bag of what Arthit assumed to be snacks until he finally pulled out a pink drink along with a straw.
“Are you trying to make fun for me?” Arthit shot at the junior, glaring at him. Letting him know about this favourite drink had indeed been a mistake on his part.
“No, you looked tired so I had just wanted to feed you a little. But I didn't know what type of snacks you liked. But this, this I was sure of so I got it for you.” Kongpob answered sincerely, giving the bottle a little wiggle in front of Arthit, urging him to take it. “I do have other drinks too if you don’t want this one. I just wanted you to have something. We’re still a long way off from the university.”
‘Urgh,’ Arthit thought internally as he felt a small pang of guilt. He had misunderstood the junior once again. And yet there it was, the little pleased feeling that Kongpob had gone through all the trouble just for him. This was really confusing the crap out of him and he had the urge to tell the boy to stop being so nice to him.
His ears turned slightly pink as he reached his hand out to take the bottle, mumbling a small ‘thanks’ as he opened it and stuck the straw in. Kongpob was right. The sweetness of the drink made him feel better. He sipped on it absentmindedly, staring out the window watching other vehicles and the scenery zoom by and was completely unaware of the pair of eyes who was happily watching him.
Then the girls on the other side of the bus started talking. “Hey, did you know our gears also represent our hearts? So if we give it to someone it means we’re giving them our hearts too! That’s so romantic!” Maprang’s voice floated over.
Kongpob muffled a small cough as he uncharacteristically kept his head down, eyes darting around wildly. Arthit cocked his head, watching the younger man avoid looking at him before he too turned his head aside, fiddling with the straw in his drink.
The gear in his wallet had not been forgotten and Arthit was now acutely aware that Kongpob had perhaps really intended for his gear to mean exactly that, and it was indeed a confession. Arthit sighed again as he placed his drink in the holder in front of him, once again staring out the window and getting lost in his own thoughts.
He must have fallen asleep once again because he once again found himself in front of Kongpob, but this time, securely in his embrace as they stood at the beach. A comforting touch threaded through his hair as he leaned further into the younger’s chest, clutching on tightly to his waist. Kongpob lightly hummed as he tightened his hug.
“P’Arthit,” Kongpob whispered, “I love you.”
A small tremor shot through Arthit’s body as the honest words tumbled out of junior. He didn’t know how to reply. So he remained, motionless, still pressed up against him.
“Won’t you say it too?” The younger boy teased, as he continued stroking his hair.
Arthit didn’t know how to respond. Did he love him? Was that what he had felt for Kongpob all this while? He knew he couldn’t take his eyes off the boy, but was that love? Was that enough to be called love? And yet his body was way more honest than his brain or heart, as he pushed himself tighter, firmer against the other whilst shaking his head.
“It’s okay,” Kongpob chuckled, sniffling at the base of his neck. “I just need you here, with me like this.”
Under the night sky of stars, Arthit felt at home. Because Kongpob was here. He pulled himself away from the boy and sat both of them down on the sand. Emboldened by the atmosphere and the honesty of the boy next to him, he pulled the other’s hand to lace their fingers together. Leaning on Kongpob’s slim shoulder, he whispered, “I love you too.”
“P’Arthit, P’Arthit?” The boy’s voice came from his left.
Arthit whined a little. They were having a moment, what’s with the calling of his name repeatedly? Opening his eyes reluctantly, he found his hands in his own lap but he had indeed been leaning on a shoulder. Kongpob’s to be precise.
“We have arrived, P’Arthit. We have to get off now.” Kongpob gently explained.
Arthit scrambled to get his brain back to reality as he quickly retorted, “let’s get off then!”
Stepping behind the younger boy, he prayed profusely that he had not said anything in his dream or he would just drown himself in pink milk when he got back to the dorm.
Being the ever gentleman, Kongpob helped Arthit unload all the supplies they had brought along for the ceremony from the bus. After the junior had set the last box down, he turned to walk away, heading in the direction of their dorms.
Arthit’s mind whirled a thousand miles per minute, as the gear once again burned in his pocket. He really should give it back to him. Ever since he had Kongpob’s gear in possession, he’s been having weird dreams - about him. It had to stop. Besides, it still wasn’t clear what the intention of the gear was, not to Arthit.
“Wait.”
“Yes, P’Arthit?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to thank you for helping me.” No sooner had the words left his mouth, Arthit swore at himself internally. He was such a coward.
“It’s my pleasure.”
Kongpob had begun walking away again when Arthit decided to try again, his hand fiddling with the gear in his pocket once more.
“Wait Kongpob.”
The boy turned around to look at him expectantly. And Arthit once again found himself unable to speak his mind, looking at the handsome face of his junior.
“I just wanted to tell you ‘take care’.” Inner Arthit’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. ‘Take care? Could you be any lamer?’
But Kongpob seemed pleased as he smiled brilliantly once again, giving thanks to Arthit for thinking about him.
Arthit finally turned around, away from Kongpob. Staring at the gear that was now sitting in his palm, he growled at it.
“You are going to stay in the drawer from now on. Stop catching weird dreams for me.” He huffed and stuffed it back within his shorts. It was going to be a long week.