Chapter Text
You always fucking hated dreams. They were never good. At best, they were bizarre and stupid; at worst, you woke up with a gasp and the bitter taste of bad memories. This time, it appeared to be the latter. You groaned and combed through your hair with your fingers, picking at your chipped black nail polish. You pulled on a relatively clean outfit comprising your binder, a baggy shirt you cropped (by accident, but at least it turned out alright), black canvas pants, and thick black socks. The clock next to your bed read 7:13 AM, and you wrinkled your nose in disgust. Your alarm wasn't set to go off for another hour or so.
You padded from your small room to the main room of the bar. The room was mostly dark, and it seemed only Kurogiri was awake. Granted, nobody was entirely certain that he could sleep at all. He turned to face you, putting down the glass he was drying. "Early morning?" He asked, and you imagined him raising an eyebrow from underneath the mist.
"Not by choice," you grumbled, slumping into a worn out leather arm chair. Kurogiri paused before opening a warp gate, pulling a thick comforter out of what you assumed was a closet somewhere in the bar. It dropped in front of you, and you promptly wrapped it around yourself until only part of your face was visible. "Thanks."
"It's my job." His voice had a lilt to it, mimicking affection in a way. You knew that he cared primarily for Shigaraki, but the gesture was appreciated. "Would you like something to drink?"
"Alcohol?" You tried your luck jokingly before nodding in defeat when he didn't respond. "Do we still have those hot chocolate packets?"
"That's more like it," he praised, already halfway through pouring the powdered drink mix into a mug.
He opened a warp gate, offering you the mug from across the room. You took it gratefully, smiling as the mug warmed your hands. "Kurogiri, you're a godsend." Hot chocolate never failed to remind you of your childhood. Despite how overwhelmingly shitty it had been, there were moments that you didn't mind thinking about. Part of you wondered if you could've made more good memories if you hadn't joined the League. You doubted it, knowing that being quirkless was all but a death sentence at your age. Sure, 20% of the population didn't have quirks, but most of them were old. Hardly anyone in your generation was quirkless, and everyone knew it. From the age of four, you were an easy target.
You're still an easy target, you thought, as Dabi stumbled into the room. You knew he was an early riser, but in your exhaustion you didn't realize that leaving your room meant you had to interact with him.
"What's the brat doing awake?" He asked Kurogiri, barely sparing a glance in your direction.
"(y/n) appears to have had a bad dream." You groaned internally. You didn't really want Dabi to know that, but it was too late now.
"Aww, the stupid kid dreamed about not getting a toy for his birthday?" He fake pouted, raising the pitch of his voice as if he were talking to a child. You supposed you were a child compared to him, but it was still rude.
"Fuck off."
"What're you gonna do about it?" He grinned, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Use your quirk? Oh wait, that's right. You don't have one. Quirkless baby."
Your shoulders slumped and he laughed. You threw your now empty mug at him weakly, knowing that it wouldn't come anywhere near close to hitting him.
"(y/n), why don't we refrain from throwing mugs in the future?" Kurogiri scolded. You nodded apologetically but didn't say anything.
"Stupid little boy can't even throw something at me properly." He mocked you between peals of laughter.
"What the fuck is your problem with me?" You stared at him, trying to keep tears from welling up in your eyes.
"You're an immature, whiny, useless NPC," Shigaraki glared at you as he walked into the room. "You don't benefit our party at all."
Great. Both of them at once. Just great.
"Who do you think steals half of our shit?" You argued, thankful that you finally had a decent argument.
"You still don't pull your weight," Dabi rolled his eyes.
"Oh, says mister sleeps-and-eats-here-but-fucks-off-to-god-knows-where-all-day."
His hands ignited with blue flames, making you shrink back into your blankets. "And what about it, kid?" He spat. You knew better than to respond when he was angry enough to use his quirk. "That's what I thought."
"I'll leave," you stood from the chair as soon as he cooled down a bit. "I know when I'm not wanted."
You didn't hesitate long enough to see their reactions, but you imagined Dabi rolling his eyes and Shigaraki mocking Dabi for being so temperamental. You sighed, wishing that they didn't hate you, but you knew that you were safe here as long as Kurogiri advocated for you. No matter how much they denied it, you were a good thief.
"Dabi, I ask again that you refrain from threatening young (y/n). We are all on the same side here. There is no need for infighting."
He rolled his eyes. "What, like it matters? Everything I said was true."
"Even so," Kurogiri glanced to the hall you just walked down, "He does not deserve that. He was here before you, and with your lack of self preservation, he will be here after. You remember what it was like to be a teenager, yes? Be a little kinder to him." Dabi scoffed and stomped out of the bar, slamming the door shut behind him. The nomu sighed, picking up another wet glass. "Shigaraki Tomura, I expect you to be kinder as well. You remember how it felt to be lost, before Sensei found you. Give (y/n) the same kindness you received."
Shigaraki didn't respond, instead fixating on loading one of his video games. His pinkies were carefully raised to avoid dusting the controller, although sooner or later he would get careless and the controller would crumble.
A few minutes later, with Shigaraki engrossed in his game, you slinked back into the room. "Dabi stormed out?" You whispered, and Kurogiri nodded. "I'll pick up some medical supplies. How are we on food?"
"Some more eggs and meat would be appreciated," he paused. "And you eat most of the fresh produce anyways, so whatever you enjoy would be alright. We won't need rice for at least a few more days."
"Got it," you smiled weakly. "I should probably grab some snacks too. It's been a while since I got everyone treats." You grabbed a jacket and tote bag before opening the door. "I'll check in every hour or so."
"Good. And (y/n)?" Your head perked up. "You're an important member of the League. Don't let Dabi and Shigaraki Tomura get to you."
You bit your lip. "I know, Kurogiri. Thank you." You stepped out before he could respond, basking in the warm sunlight briefly before putting on a face mask. It was one of your favorites; it had cat whiskers on it and made you look more innocent to civilians. You knew the route to the grocery store you frequented like it was the back of your hand, but if you got lost and wandered into several shitty convenience stores, that wasn't anyone's problem but yours. Before you had even thought about what vegetables you wanted to buy later, your tote bag was half filled with cheap snacks for the League. Chips for Shigaraki, jerky packs (along with burn cream, gauze, and bandages) for Dabi, juice filled gummy snacks for Himiko, and various crackers and candies for everyone else. As an afterthought, you bought a pack of energy drinks. They were usually too sweet for your tastes, but if your most recent dream was any indicator, you were prepared for a few sleepless nights.
You finally made it to the grocery store and drifted from display to display. None of the fruit looked particularly appealing, but you settled for a small box each of grapes and strawberries. Shigaraki would shout at you later about wasting "his" money-- Sensei's, really, and it wasn't as if it was in short supply-- but you added a few mangoes to the cart you were pushing. The vegetable section was right next to the fruits, and it was thankfully cheaper. There was a bag of carrots on sale, and after a cursory inspection, you couldn't find anything wrong with them. A bundle of chives caught your eye, and you tossed them into the cart before you could talk yourself out of buying them. You picked up two cartons of eggs next, checking each over to make sure none of them were cracked. The discount meat section provided you with enough beef and pork to feed the League for at least a week, assuming nobody new joined.
The cashier looked at you strangely when you packed most of the food into your bag. Sure, it looked small, but it fit a surprising amount of stuff. The meat was put into a plastic bag, and you nodded and smiled (the best you could beneath your mask) at the cashier as you picked them up and began the walk back to the bar.
You could hardly call it home, afterall, nearly half of the other League members hated you. You appreciated Toga, Kurogiri, and Magne for all they did for you. Toga never hesitated to swipe her knife at Dabi or Shigaraki when they badmouthed you, and Kurogiri acted like a mother hen. Big Sis Magne truly earned her nickname as your pseudo older sister. Whenever you wanted to cry over your dysphoria or share a gleefully euphoric moment, you went to her. You suspected that she processed her childhood through you, mourning the experiences she lost trying to hide who she was. You didn't mind, just braided her hair and stole cosmetic samples for her to experiment with.
She liked sweet smelling tinted lip gloss and dark pencil eyeliner, but would never turn down eyeshadow if it was offered to her. You let her do your eyeliner on multiple occasions. Sometimes it turned out shaky, but practice makes perfect, and after all she had done for you, wearing flawed eyeliner was the least you could do. If there was one thing you wouldn't let Dabi or Shigaraki rag on about, it was when your makeup was flawed. For how little they respected you, they made up for it in respect for Magne.
Toga had gained their respect too. They found her personality amusing; you might go as far as to say they found her endearing. She was a few years older than you, and you became each other's first real friends. Her quirk had outcasted her, while your lack of quirk had done the same. You were a perfect duo. She taught you some basic knife skills and how to smile like nothing matters. In return, you let her take your blood whenever she needed it. You would give anything to have met her in a different life. Maybe as childhood friends, unaffected by the corruption running rampant in the world.
Before you knew it, you were standing at the front door. It creaked as you opened it slowly. There was nobody to be seen in the main room, save for Shigaraki hunched in front of the TV screen and Kurogiri wiping more glasses. Nobody knew how he always had wet glasses, and you were starting to think that he washed clean glasses just to dry them for dramatic effect. "(y/n)?" He called before you had stepped over the threshold. His voice was strained, almost worried, and you wondered if something had happened.
"Yes?" You walked in and headed straight for the fridge. "What is it?"
"It's been four hours."
You paused, nodding along. "Yes, I was grocery shopping."
"And what did you say you would do?"
"Get snacks, meat, eggs, and some produce?"
"You didn't check in," Shigaraki snapped at you. "He's been fussing for three hours now because you haven't checked in."
You froze, then turned to Kurogiri guiltily. "I'm sorry," you muttered. "I forgot."
"No shit you did, but what else should he expect from a dumbass quirkless teenager?" You winced at his words, busying yourself with putting away the groceries.
"I thought...well, I thought you may have..." You caught onto his implication and winced. Even if you thought about it sometimes, a little spat with two overgrown, petulant children wouldn't be the reason you finally jumped. No way in hell. "And Shigaraki Tomura," the mist shrouded nomu turned to scold him. "We spoke about this."
"It's fine," you grumbled, picking up your bag of snacks. "I'm sorry Kurogiri." With that said, you dropped Shigaraki's bag of chips in front of him. "I remember you saying you liked these."
He tilted his head at the sight of his favorite chip brand, but didn't say anything. He refocused on the screen, and your quiet footsteps faded down the hall as you walked away.
"You're welcome." Your voice was bitter and hushed, but you crept into Dabi's room nonetheless. You knew he wouldn't be back until he tired himself out; you still felt like an intruder in his space. But in his eyes, you were intruding on him by existing. You dropped the variety of jerky on his bed, along with the medical supplies. He had never shown a real preference for what flavors he liked, but you figured if he hated one, he could try another. Therefore, variety.
You left quickly, almost guiltily. Toga hadn't come back since the night before, so you assumed she had found a new plaything. A quick knock on her door yielded no response, so you left her gummies in the center of the room. You took one look at the pile of stuffed animals around her bed and grabbed a few to arrange on the floor around the snack. It looked like a proper summoning circle, and you walked out with a grin.
Your room seemed suffocating in comparison. You tried not to look around Dabi's-- it helped that it was dark-- but Toga's was pastel and pink and looked like it was straight out of a manga. If you ignored the smell of blood permeating the entire room. You just had a bed, dresser, and small nightstand. You didn't need anything else. You didn't care for personalizing it. Dabi and Shigaraki would probably poke fun at it and ruin it for you, then mock you for that too.
You hated them. You hated how you craved their approval, hated how you needed to be liked. It was unbecoming of a villain, but some days you didn't feel like that title fit. Sure, you were a member of the League of Villains. Sure, you had been here before Magne, before Twice, before Spinner or Dabi or Toga. They all embraced the name.
Himiko Toga: A-Rank Villain. It fit her like a glove.
(l/n) (y/n): Unranked Villain Whose Only Crimes Were Petty Theft, Alongside Maybe Some Arson Or Provoked Assault. It didn't have quite the same ring to it. You didn't thirst for blood or crave revenge on the world. You were just a kid.
You punched your mattress with all of the rage you had accumulated over the past few hours. The bedsprings creaked beneath you and you crumpled, your emotions hitting you all at once. Sobs wracked your body and you intermittently gasped for air.
Your quirk status was the reason you lost everything.
All your life, you were an "other." Your classmates shunned you, your family ignored you, even the heroes seemed to forget about the quirkless. You thought you might have a place with the villains. The outcasts. The people who society failed.
But even they didn't care. Destructive quirks, mutant quirks, weak or intrusive or cruel quirks, at least they had quirks. At least they weren't quirkless. At least they weren't you.
For just a moment, you considered asking Sensei for a quirk.
As soon as that thought came, you banished it. Your quirklessness made you feel terribly, horribly alone. You were abandoned by everyone you had ever loved, all for something you couldn't control. That treacherous lack you felt in your chest, the longing to be made whole by a quirk, was ingrained into you by a decade of teasing and taunting.
Your shoulders shook and you sat up in your bed, leaning against your headboard. You would be damned if you ever let all of that pain be thrown away, made worthless. No. After a decade of being considered lesser, you would not make it all for naught.
You dried your tears and changed out of your outfit, trading them for a sports bra, black hoodie, and black joggers. Fuck them, you decided. If Dabi and Shigaraki wanted to be assholes, you were going to let them. When it all came crashing down, they'd see. You didn't know if they could experience the full range of human emotions, but you were about to teach them the how to feel guilty.