Chapter Text
"Cale... as long as you are willing to talk, there will always be someone.... someone who will be there to listen"
I recalled what Alberu Hyung had said as I stood in front of my house. It was still bothering me. What if he is right? But what if Basen really does hate me?
‘Haaa this is exhausting’
While I hung my head down and brushed my face with my hands, I noticed my shoelaces had come off.
“I want to die”
The reason I wanted to die right now, was because of this shoelace that had come undone. I was never good at re tying them, just like my relationship with others.
I just leave them be. I always have.
‘Should I try re tying them?’ I wondered as I opened the door of my house to let myself in.
When I took a step inside, I saw basen going into his room
“Basen” his name left my mouth before I even realized it
Basen turned towards me and said nothing. He just looked at me with a ‘what do you want’ expression
‘Ah fuck. I called him out without thinking but now what’
“Looks like no one is home”
My mind was still a mess so I blurted out whatever came to my mind.
Basen stared at me for a moment and replied,
“Well of course, father is still at the company and mother should be there as well today and Ron should be bringing Lily back from school this time around”
“Ahh Ron is bringing her?”
“Yeah, he always does??”
“Ah... yeah I forgot”
Ron was dad’s secretary but has worked for us for a long time. At this point I can’t even tell if he is the company’s secretary or the Henituse house butler. Even so he has been here ever since I was born. He is a very vicious old man. He hasn’t really done anything bad to me but he still terrifies me.
Just thinking about how I might run into him today gave me chills.
While I was still thinking about how to avoid that old man, Basen's voice snapped me out of my thoughts
“If you don’t have anything to say then I will get going. I am busy unlike certain someone”
“Umm... well ...yeah sure”
Yup today was not the day.
Basen looked at me for a while before walking towards his room.
‘haaaa’
“You know Hyung”
I was startled by the voice that I suddenly heard. I looked up to see Basen had stopped and was now just standing still looking right at me.
“Hmm?” I was really surprised because he hasn’t called me Hyung for a long time now.
“You have always been like that”, Basen who turned around, was now walking towards me
“Like what?” I asked in confusion.
“You never say what you really want to say. You just run away from things you are too scared to face”
Flinch
I flinched.
‘What is up with people just hitting me with these things’
It reminded me of a certain blonde high school prince
“I am not running away” I said looking at Basen who was now standing in front of me
“No, you are Hyung”
‘This little-’
“Haa let's just forget about it and go back to minding our own business” I walked past Basen to go to my room.
“See? You are doing it again”
“Doing what again” I turned around to look at Basen who was still standing there with his back towards me
‘Haaa this is really frustrating’
“You are running away again”
“Haaa really you...”
I saw Basen turn towards me. Looking right into my eyes, he said
“Didn’t you call me out because you wanted to say something?”
“.....’
“Why aren’t you saying it? Do you really hate me that much?”
“Hate you?”
‘Me? Hate him? What the hell is this kid talking about’ I couldn’t understand what this kid in front for me was saying.
“Why ... why would I hate you? Aren't you the one who hates me?”
‘Ahh there I said. There is no going back now’
“.....”
“I mean it's understandable. You have been working your ass off to take over dad’s company but he is just too fixated on me.”
“You think I hate you because father wants you to take over his company and not me? You think I am working hard because I want to take over father’s company?”
“Yes. You work hard for that goal everyda-”
“Haaaa”
Basen cut me off with a sigh
“You really... Hyung...”
“What? Isn't that why you hate me so much. You just look at me with hatred in your eyes”
Basen sighed again and looked at me.
“Look at me properly hyung. Does it look like the face of someone who hates you”?
I tilted my head and looked at him. For the first time in many years, I properly saw his face. His eyes were … soft? It wasn’t hate. Not in the slightest
‘What is this feeling?’ my heart hurt a little looking at Basen.
“Hyung, I didn’t work so hard to take over the company and become its head”
After a little pause, Basen continued,
“I worked so hard so that I could support you when you become the heads. I wanted to be by your side Hyung, I wanted to work alongside you, support you, in every way possible. Just like how you used to when me and Lily were still little kids”
“Basen you-”
‘You were thinking things like that?’
“So, why hyung? Why are you so reluctant to do this? Is it because you don’t want someone like me by your side?”
“No-”
“Then why Hyung”
This kid, has he been holding all of this in for this long?
Basen looked like he was on a verge of crying.
I slowly raised my hand and patted his head. With a little tear in his eyes, he looked up to me, sniffing
“It's not your fault. It's just taking over the company and doing such things is just not for me”
Basen looked at me sniffling. I didn’t know what else to do.
‘Ahh I really am not good at this’
“So, I think. No, I know that you are the only one good for that position”
Basen looked at me while wiping his tears, he spoke
“Are you sure you are not saying this because you don’t want to?”
“... no ... of... of course, not”
“Hehe”
Amidst my panicking I heard a chuckle. When I looked down, I saw Basen, whose chuckle now turned into laughter
“Hyung I was just joking”
“Why you-” even I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.
I was never good at re tying my shoelaces so I always left them be.
But every time I left them untied, I always tripped and fell and got hurt.
“So, you really ... don’t hate us?”
I heard a small quiet voice from behind. When I turned around, I saw Lily who was still carrying her bag pack, looking at me with a scared yet soo innocent face
“No of course not” I crouched down a little and patted her head
‘Did she also think I hated her?’
“I thought... I thought orabuni didn’t like living with us because we had different mothers” Lily sniffed and looked at me
‘O... Orabuni?’
“Lily, were you scared of me because you thought I hated you?”
Lily just nodded her head in response.
‘Ah I didn’t know she held back so many things too’
I reached out my hands towards her and hugged her. That was all I could think of doing for this scared sister of mine.
“I am sorry. I should have talked to you guys properly”
‘Has talking things out always been this easy?’
“Now isn’t this nice”
I heard a voice that I recognized immediately
“Ron. You were here too”
“Yes, Cale-nim. I was dropping little Miss Lily home before heading back to the company”
Ron formed a benign smile and looked at me
‘So vicious’
“I see thanks for your hard work. I’ll be going to my room now”
I really can’t handle this old man.
“Have a nice day orabuni” Lily smiled as she waved at me before we each went back to our rooms.
“Please take care Cale-nim”
Ron's voice was the last thing I heard before entering my room.
Closing the door from behind, I jumped straight into my bed and finally let out a sigh in relief
“As long as you are willing to talk, people will listen huh? Can't wait to tell him about this”
‘Huh what the fuck. What am I getting so excited for’?
An image of Alberu hyung came to my mind which made me jump up from my bed. My face also felt really hot.
‘Am I going down with fever I wonder’
I gulped down some water to cool off. I didn’t want to go down with a fever. I didn’t like being sick.
Prostrated atop my bed. An image of a young boy with red hair came to my mind when I closed my eyes.
The reason I wanted to die, was because that young boy was staring at me. I tried to open my mouth to get the words I wanted to say out but it felt like someone or something was strangling me. The words wouldn’t come out and it felt so suffocating.
The words I wanted to say was “I am sorry”
I wanted to apologize to my younger self. I wanted to apologize for not trying hard enough.
I wanted to apologize for running away from everything.
‘Haaa this is exhausting.’
I hated school, I hated dawn. Because whenever a new day arrived, I had to get up and repeat the same routine again. But-
‘What is this feeling’
Today I wanted this day to end soon. So, when tomorrow arrives, I could run to school and see that person and tell him. Tell him that I was finally able to retie my shoelaces.
As soon as the dawn broke, I got myself out of my room. The same old morning, the same old room, the same old family. But this time something was different.
“Good morning hyung”
“Orabuni, good morning”
“Hey”
This time my siblings greeted me. The old look of despise and terror was not found. It was still a little awkward though but I was slowly getting used to it.
I noticed my step mother looking at us with a very surprised look on her face.
‘Yeah, there are still laces that needs to be tied I guess’
But then I saw her surprised look turn into a very gentle one, like a mother looking at her happy kids. It really startled me.
“Well, I will be off” I said and waved them goodbyes.
Walking towards my classroom, I still heard the same old gossips and talks.
‘Do they never get tired of this?’
The bell rang and classes started.
The bell rang again and the classes ended.
‘I guess this is one thing that will never change’
As soon as classes were over, I headed over to the student council room to meet the person I had been waiting to meet.
When I stood in front of the council room door, I noticed my heart beating fast.
‘Ugh what is this, yesterday it was fever and now my chest feels weird. Should I really get checked? Maybe I should make a doctor’s appointment’
Making the decision to visit the doctor, I knocked at the door few times but I didn’t hear any response
‘Is he out’
But then the door opened with a little push.
‘The door is unlocked? What the hell is he doing’
The moment I entered the council room, the sight of Alberu hyung sleeping on the chair with his face buried in piles of paper greeted me.
“What the fuck?” I walked towards him to check if he was sleeping or... Just dead.
“Hey sunbae, are you dead?”, I jokingly called out.
But no response came.
“Heyy sunbaeee” I shook him a little because the way he was sleeping looked really uncomfortable.
“H...y...”
“Hah? Did you say something” I got close to him to hear what he had to say?
“It's Hyung”
“....”
This guy really...
“Hehe but can’t believe you thought I was dead”
His voice sounded husky and somewhat weak.
“Well seeing your personality of sticking your nose in people’s business, I'd say there might be people wanting to assassinate you”
“Hey I don’t stick my nose into just anyone’s business... haa let's just forget about...”
Just when he tried to get up from the chair he flailed and fell down on the floor
“Hey hyung are you alright?” I rushed towards him to help him get up
“Ugh” he let out a painful groan as he put his hand on his head
“Maybe we should go to the infirmary, you don’t look so good”
“No I... I am fine … just a little...t...”
“Hyung?? Alberu hyung??”
Alberu hyung fell down with a thump.
He didn’t respond no matter how much I called his name out.