Chapter Text
i. judgment
Guizhong thinks that out of all her friends, Zhongli has given her the most grievances. Venti is annoying, sure, but he always manages to stay in line. Maybe it’s because he’s “visiting” Liyue and they’re not in Mondstadt (honestly, he’s been here so long that it’s not even visiting anymore). Xiao, Ganyu, and Yanfei work very hard and keep their heads low. Hu Tao, even, tends to treat her very politely when she comes over, even though Zhongli says it’s out of character for her.
Zhongli, though. Guizhong thinks she should be the one who carries his wallet, not him, at this point. His best quality is his ability to talk his way out of anything. Though he’s never the type to get below a 95%, he’s probably able to sweet-talk his way from a 45 to a 93.
Then she met Childe, and all her problems with Zhongli’s money issues got replaced with Zhongli’s lovesickness. It didn’t seem like much at first, just trying to stop them from meeting, then it turned into talking about Childe a lot, and then it turned into him approaching her and asking her if this would be a good gift, yes or no.
He didn’t ask her about this one.
They’re at lunch, and her eyes are focused completely on the chopsticks and pretty much only the chopsticks. She glances away to rub her eyes only to go back to staring.
“Childe,” she says after a long moment, “those chopsticks…”
Her voice trails off after she sees Childe’s flustered face. “Hey, I’m doing my best. It’s not my fault it’s so foreign to me.”
Lumine, who’s sitting across from him, looks unimpressed. “How long have you been here at this point? Over a year? Dude.”
“Don’t ‘dude’ me, I’m telling you that I’m doing my best!”
“No, I’m not talking about your, er, technique-” Guizhong tries not to cringe as she watches his grip goes slacker and slacker, “I’m talking about the chopsticks themselves.”
“Oh!” Childe laughs awkwardly, waving a hand. “Zhongli bought them for me—I know, he bought them, it’s crazy. They’re pretty fancy, huh? He asked me to use them to practice, and I don’t really have another pair, so, uh, yeah.”
Guizhong swallows back a sigh. Zhongli, you bastard. It’s just like you not to explain a single thing to this guy, huh? At least you didn’t buy them with his money, I wouldn’t put it past you.
The real question is if I should tell him…
She looks at Lumine, who matches the stare.
Furrowing her brow, Guizhong mouths, No? Why not?
Lumine replies with her eyes: It’s hilarious.
Ah.
Yeah, fair.
Childe continues cluelessly. “It was really embarrassing when he handed it to me because he was like ‘Childe, I want you to get better at these,’ and while I really appreciate the gesture, I felt offended.”
Lumine tears her eyes away from Guizhong. “Did he say anything else?”
Childe flushes. “Nothing… special.”
Guizhong rolls her eyes.
Maybe this is a good thing, she tells herself, as if Zhongli definitely didn’t just get him those to show everyone that they’re disgustingly in love. Childe is a little oblivious and way too idiotic for his own good. Maybe the chopsticks will send the message to everyone: Childe is taken and you know by who.
ii. family
Of all the words to encapsulate the feeling Tonia is going through right now, conflicted seems to fit the most. Conflicted, because all the other words contrast with each other horribly.
She knows she’s being obvious because Ajax looks at her during dinner with his round concerned puppy eyes and offers more pelmeni. He only does that if 1. he’s done something bad, or 2. he’s worried about her.
Tonia sighs. The worst feeling in the world is making Ajax feel bad because of her. However, it’s not like the situation she’s in is an easy one.
Zhongli is nice. He’s really nice. Almost too nice. Nicer than Ajax, at times, but that’s because Ajax is her brother and even he has to extend a hand of discipline at times. Tonia taps her pencil against her math sheet.
Her siblings don’t seem to understand her predicament. When she brought up her concerns to her sister, she only raised her eyebrows at her.
“Tonia, isn’t it a good thing that Ajax found a nice guy to be with? Especially here, far away from Snezhnaya… hey, what about you? How’s your friend situation?”
She had to run away after that.
Her oldest brothers didn’t seem to get it, either. In fact, they weren’t sure if Ajax was dating Zhongli at all, which doesn’t make sense, because aren’t they Ajax’s siblings as well?! How do you not notice something like that?
Anthon and Teucer, at least, know how to listen to their older sister.
She gets up from her chair and her unfinished math homework. After leaving her room and making her way to Anthon and Teucer’s shared one, she throws open the door without knocking.
“I need your guys’ advice!”
They both look away from Mario Kart (for once) to gape at her.
Tonia tries to sufficiently explain her worries, specifically that Zhongli seems a bit too nice! And what if he has ulterior motives?
Teucer scrunches his face up. “What does ulterior mean?”
“Like, um… he’s secretly thinking of doing something bad to him! I don’t want that to happen. I want Ajax to get a perfect person for him—someone who will take care of him and know all his favorite foods and exactly what he wants, because that’s what he’s done for us all this time.”
They both nod seriously as they listen. Then they don’t say anything.
Tonia searches their faces. “Well?”
Anthon stares at her. “Can we go back to Mario Kart now?”
Tonia gives up.
Later, she washes the dishes with her feelings plastered over her face. She knows because Ajax reaches over and helps her out. He looks at her, head tilted.
“What’s wrong, Tonia?”
“Nothing.”
She picks up—chopsticks? Huh?
“Oh!” Ajax takes them from her, smiling fondly. Staring at his expression, Tonia blinks confusedly, but he doesn’t notice. “Tonia, look at these.” He runs them under the tap, washing off all the soap suds. “Zhongli gave them to me. He said that he wants me to use them to practice… Aren’t they pretty?”
Tonia furrows her brow, scrutinizing the brown-gold chopsticks. “They’re mismatched.”
“No, see, it’s a dragon on this one and a phoenix on this one. I asked Zhongli, and he says they’re supposed to be connected. He says he’ll tell me the connection someday in the future.”
“...Huh.”
Tonia finishes the dishes, worrying thoughts replaced by curious ones. She throws open the fridge door, steals Anthon’s pudding, and runs away to her room. Quickly, she types away at her laptop.
The answer shines in her face.
Oh.
Tonia blushes. It seems she had nothing to worry about Zhongli at all… other than wanting to seal the deal with her brother without telling anyone.
iii. gossip
Aether wants to start shit today. He can’t, though, because his sister ends up beating his ass more often than not.
Speaking of his sister, he snaps his fingers as he remembers the texts he got last night.
“Hey, Xiao, look at this.” He leans over the picnic table and shows Xiao his phone.
Xiao squints. “Six times nine plus six plus nine equals sixty-nine.”
“Not that.” Aether scrolls down. “It’s true, but try again.”
“‘Zhongli proposed to Childe, don’t tell Xi-’ wait, what?” He grabs for the phone, but Aether pulls it out of his reach.
“He didn’t actually propose, I don’t think.” Aether reads aloud Lumine’s texts.
lumine: he has fancy-schmancy chopsticks now. that guizhong says is romantic or something.
aether B): but how’s it a proposal?!?!???
lumine: fuck if i know
lumine: did you eat my pasta
“I left her on delivered,” Aether says. “Do you know?”
Xiao glares at Aether’s phone. “Nothing about chopsticks is inherently marriage-adjacent. It’s probably just Guizhong trying to rile us up.”
“Yeah,” Aether says. “Emphasis on probably. I’ll ask Venti.”
“As if Venti would-”
Venti picks up on the second ring. “Yoohoo, what’s up?”
“Zhongli, Childe. Married?”
“Ew, what?”
Aether snorts. “Sorry. Bad introduction. Lumine tells me that Guizhong tells her that Childe says Zhongli gave him super gay chopsticks that are apparently proposal-like. Any idea?” He turns it to speaker and drops the phone onto the table.
Venti goes silent for a moment. Then Aether hears him click his tongue.
“Fucking—I got it. Yeah, they’re super gay marriage chopsticks. I know what you’re talking about. When did he get them?”
“Uh, no idea. They’re actually proposal chopsticks?”
Xiao looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t.
“Yeah, Zhongli’s a biiig fan of symbolism. Childe is like his white whale, his green light, or whatever. Know what I mean?”
Aether makes a face like he’s smelling a dead body. “No. Aren’t those two symbolic of something you can’t reach?”
“Huh. Nevermind then. The chopsticks are symbolic of marriage, so they’re proposal chopsticks. I guess he likes parading Childe around as ‘Zhongli’s boyfriend’, in big bright flaring lights.”
Aether wants to say something about how Venti should be better at remembering symbolic messages as a bard, but Xiao talks first.
“You can confirm this?”
“Whoa, Xiao, hey. And, yes and no. Yes because I’m 99% sure, no because I haven’t actually seen the chopsticks.” Venti clicks his tongue. “As if it wasn’t obvious enough that Zhongli was smitten! I bet that even if Childe asked him to kill someone, he'd say yes. Zhongli would bend over backward for him. That’s just the kind of person he is.”
iv. second-hand information
Skirk is having the time of her life, even though she misses Childe.
Saying she misses Childe is probably the last thing she ever expected herself to do, but whatever. Everyone else in Snezhnaya is nothing but a complete bore; out of the top three most interesting people she’s ever met, number one is in Liyue, number two is sick of her, and number three is Dottore, who’s on the wrong side of crazy in her humble opinion.
Ah, speaking of number two, Skirk waves her phone in front of her face. She’s sitting six inches away, crowded around the same tiny school table.
Her Excellency the Tsaritsa (she only says it like that because it pisses the both of them off) crosses her arms, arching a brow. “What.”
“Come on, aren’t you curious about Childe and what he’s up to? I’m your number one girl for information like this, especially because he hates you so much.”
“Tartaglia doesn’t hate me,” Tsaritsa says, a bit petulantly. Skirk tries not to roll her eyes. What a princess, she thinks.
“Sure. Maybe if he actually did like you, he would call you up and say so.” Skirk swipes on her phone. “Oh, here we go. Look at this.” She shows her a picture. “See, that’s our orange boy. And next to him is his boyfriend.”
“I see that.”
“No need to be so cold. You know, I called him recently. I told him that I told you about the boyfriend and that you blew your lid-”
“I did not.”
“You did! You literally got all pissy and went, ‘I can’t believe Tartaglia is whoring himself out to the first Liyuen boy he meets’. I should’ve gotten a video on it.” Skirk hums. “Anyway, what was I saying? Right, I told him that I told you about the boyfriend, and he was all, ‘why does she care’ and I was like ‘cause she loves you’ cause you do, right-”
“I don’t.”
Skirk should punch her in the face and knock out her teeth and rip her tongue out so she can stop interrupting.
Skirk doesn’t do that.
“Yeah, right,” she spits, “but it doesn’t matter. He still has that mask you gave him, and he said that he can’t marry either of us anymore.”
“Huh?” The Tsaritsa’s eyes widen just a tad. Ah, here we go.
Skirk swipes to the next image, a picture of a pair of chopsticks. “He can’t marry us because he’s promised himself to his boyfriend or whatever. Can you believe it?! He’s from Snezhnaya, land of love and ice and shit, and he goes to Liyue, fuckin place of contracts and rocks, and now he’s telling not just me, the best fighter to ever fight, but also you, the Tsaritsa, aka Miss Princessy Bitch of the Land of Love and Ice and Shit, that we’re losing to some nerd.” Skirk drops her phone on the table.
The Tsaritsa looks livid.
“Heehee, there’s no need to look so mad! I’m not mad, Childe’s just my side bitch anyway,” Skirk teases.
The Tsaritsa ignores her. “We should go to Liyue,” she says.
Skirk grins.
“As a visiting thing? I warn you,” she says, “I bet the second you step off the plane, you’ll melt all over the concrete pavement. Not me though, I did just fine when I went over there.”
The Tsaritsa raises a single eyebrow.
Skirk giggles. Oh, this is going to be fun!
v. misunderstood blessing
Hu Tao was the first person to know about Childe.
It was an accident. She was skulking around the house, pretending like she was a cockroach, and upon hearing the mutters of her older brother, she peered through a cracked-open doorway.
“Would it be too much to ask him that?” Zhongli asked aloud.
Hu Tao threw open the door. “Ask who what?!”
After a scolding on surprising him and for eavesdropping, Zhongli sighed and pretty much glared at her wide-eyed, curious stare.
Should I tell her…? A secondary opinion would help, and even if Hu Tao has a hard time making friends, she’s surprisingly perspective.
“I made a new friend recently, and I was wondering what his sexuality was.” Zhongli stared at his hands. “All his friends are girls, so I was curious because he hasn’t expressed any attraction to them.”
Hu Tao decided to ignore the clear implication that Zhongli wants him to be gay, or bi, or not-attracted-to-just-women. “Well! From that, I can tell that all you need to know is the answer to the million-dollar question!”
“What is this million-dollar question?” Zhongli had asked.
“It’s simple!” Hu Tao put one hand on her hip and waggled a finger in his face. “Is Childe gay, or are all his friends lesbians? Or both?”
That ended up not helping at all. In fact, Hu Tao was the one who benefited a lot more after the conversation.
“So? Does Miss Guizhong or any of your other friends know about this mysterious boy?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Zhongli had no idea how to say this. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I have plenty of friends, Zhongli! Trust me, I’ll understand.”
“Well.” It certainly wouldn’t hurt him to be honest with Hu Tao. Actually, Zhongli’s pretty sure it would, but he gave in anyway. “We’ve never moved. Everyone here knows everything about my past. My friends are the types to talk their heads off, and I don’t want that.”
Hu Tao wasn’t impressed. Neither did she understand. “So what? I don’t get it.”
Of course, you don’t get it, you are that friend!
Ah, back to the present, Zhongli blinks away the memory at the sound of his doorbell ringing.
He gets up from the couch and opens the door. “Childe.”
“Hi.” Childe smiles, and Zhongli doesn’t swoon, no, but his heart flutters. “Thanks for inviting me over!”
“There’s no need to thank me. I’m glad to see you.”
Childe laughs. “You see me every day. You’re so sappy sometimes.”
Zhongli brings him inside, a hand on his arm, but leans into his ear. “Old Hu is going to be home soon.”
“Old… Oh!” Childe nods. “I understand. I’ll be on my best behavior.”
Zhongli smiles. He really can’t help it, nowadays.
“Ah.” He reaches out and covers Childe’s hands with his own. “Don’t… use the chopsticks today.”
“Huh? Why not?”
He clears his throat. “It’s fine. I just… Old Hu might be a bit surprised, that’s all. He’s so old, I’m afraid he’ll croak if he’s too shocked.”
Childe raises a disbelieving eyebrow, but he doesn’t argue.
When Old Hu does come home, he shakes Childe’s hands with both of his, and says, “Is your hair dyed?”
“Oh, no, it’s natural. I’m from Snezhnaya.”
“Ahhh… I see I see. It’s very cold there, are you okay with your hair being so short?”
“It’s fine. I’m used to the cold, pretty much.”
Childe grips his chopsticks, feeling nervous. The unassuming rice on his plate stares up at him, almost judgmentally. Surely his insecurity is unfounded because Old Hu looks at him with nothing but mirth in his eyes, and Hu Tao seems completely enraptured by the anime playing on the T.V. more than him.
He looks at the T.V., only for a minor escape. The opening to Cardcaptor Sakura was playing.
When he leaves, Childe gets his hands shaken again. Zhongli leaves briefly. “I’ll get my jacket, and I’ll walk you home,” he says.
Old Hu pats Childe’s shoulder. “You’re very close to Zhongli,” he says.
“Well, Zhongli’s really nice, that’s why. When I first came here, he showed me around.”
Old Hu nods. “He tells me that you often buy him things.”
Childe scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, uh, it’s more like he picks things and I pay for them—not that I’m mad! I’m fine about the whole thing. Besides, he got me a gift recently. With his money.”
Old Hu raises his eyebrows, and Childe realizes that he might’ve fucked up, but it's too late now. He pulls out the chopsticks and shows them to him.
“He told me to practice with them. I know I’m still pretty bad at them.”
Old Hu stares at the chopsticks for a long moment, then gives him one of those loopy, flabby old people smiles. “Childe, do you like Zhongli?”
“Sure I do.” Childe puts away the chopsticks.
“Haha. I’m glad.” He grips Childe’s hand, a lot tighter than before. “I can trust you to take care of him, right?”
“Oh,” Childe feels nervous, “of course. I’ll d-do my best!”
“Hahaha. I’m glad that Zhongli has someone like you.”
vi. perfect gift
The first time Zhongli sees the chopsticks, he’s only been friends with Childe for two weeks. (Childe is just a nickname, he told him. His real name is Ajax, but he’s just used to being called Childe.)
They’re on display with a few other pairs, and Zhongli hums to himself as he looks over them. Most of these are pretty standard, but it’s a little surprising to see that they still make pairs designed like this.
A phoenix and a dragon, hmm… Hu Tao says she won a poetry contest last month, maybe her next poem could involve something like this? I should bring it up to her and see what she says.
“Hey, Zhongli! Sorry that I took so long.” Childe came running back from giving a kid their dropped stuffed toy. “Their mom was trying to thank me, but I had to refuse it because there’s no way I’m going to take something from a parent, am I right?” He brushes a hand through his hair, smiling to himself.
Zhongli nods and crosses his arms. “Childe, it’s getting a bit late. Would you like to go get something to eat?”
His smile glows. “Oh, of course! Where should we go?”
Zhongli grabs his arm and guides Childe away from the displayed chopsticks. “There are plenty of places to go, but there’s this place that I like a lot, called Wanmin Restaurant. I believe you’d like it as well.”
“Sounds great, I’ll have anything.” Childe flushes. “Ah, wait, do they only have chopsticks?”
“No, but you should try to get better with them, now that you’re living in Liyue.” Zhongli watches the way the sun paints Childe in the most beautiful golden light. He wonders how Childe blushes so easily—did it have to do with his skin or his blood vessels?
“Of course, of course! I hate being bad at things, so the second I see a challenge, I’ll take it.” Childe hums, biting his lip. “It’s kind of unfortunate that I don’t have chopsticks at home to use.”
Zhongli lets his words roll around his mind. “Then I should take you out to more places, how about that?”
Childe beams. Childe looks best with a smile, Zhongli thinks. “Sounds great!”
The second time he sees the chopsticks, Venti is with him, but he’s distracted and talking on the phone, so Zhongli allows himself to stare a bit longer than strictly necessary. After all, Venti still hasn’t met him, even if he and Childe have been friends for about two months now.
Hmm… they look similar to the ones I saw before. They do look a bit short, though. Childe has rather large hands, so if they were longer, then they’d be perfect…
Zhongli blinks at his own thoughts and shakes his head. No, no, I can’t give these to Childe, we’re only friends. It would be inappropriate for me to hand these to him without a second thought. He promptly ignores the Guizhong in his head telling him that it was surprising to hear him think before he acted.
He looks very carefully, though. Childe would look better with different colors. Maybe warmer ones, because of the tone of his hair and his skin. What color would they make these in? Definitely a darker brown, and perhaps at the ends… He closes his eyes to visualize, but his imagination breaks at Venti pushing him aside.
“Whatcha looking at?” Venti frowns. “Eh? Chopsticks? Really, Zhongli, that’s so…” He peers closer. “Ohoho, now wait just a second here!” He sends Zhongli a smug smirk. “You have someone on your mind? Who is it?”
He glares back at him. “No one.”
“You totally do!” Venti rocks on his heels. “Oooh, who could it be, huh? Is it Guizhong?”
Zhongli frowns at the thought. “No.”
“Huh.” Venti bats his eyes. “Me?”
Zhongli nearly gags. “No.”
Venti furrows his brow. “Wait, who the hell do you hang out with other than me and- Oh! Aether? Lumine? Which one? Both at the same time? I won’t judge.”
He almost rolls his eyes. “Neither. All these people are my valued friends, Venti. I was simply intrigued with the design, that’s all.” With that, Zhongli turns away in a flourish and marches off.
Venti cocks a brow. Yeah, right. I’ll figure it out at some point, and I’ll get Guizhong in on it too! Heehee, maybe I should text her now…? No, let’s wait and find out who it is beforehand. Haha, Guizhong, you won’t believe that spring has finally bloomed for Zhongli!
When Zhongli finally buys the chopsticks, they come at a perfect time.
Simply put, he has a hard time not thinking about Childe. He thinks about Childe when he’s eating, and he examines his own, loose and carefree grip of his chopsticks, and he thinks about Childe when he’s out and about, grabbing his wallet to reassure himself.
Today, he has both his wallet and Childe—though Childe resides in his head. So does some anxiety, but perhaps it’s unfounded.
He talked to Hu Tao about the situation, and she laughed at him for five minutes. Although, at the end of it, she nodded approvingly and said, “A perfect gift for him, no?”
Zhongli had paused in the middle of bringing his tea to his lips. “What do you mean?”
“What do you mean, what do I mean? It’s the perfect gift for Childe! Think about it, he’s always asking for you to tell him about Liyue customs and stuff, and something symbolic like that is fitting. Also, you said he likes to challenge himself, and I saw how bad he is with these,” she tapped her chopsticks against the table, “so it’s also practical.” Hu Tao narrowed her eyes. “You mean to tell me that you plan on getting him the perfect gift and you didn’t even realize how perfect it was?”
Zhongli couldn’t stop thinking about that either. Perhaps he had underestimated himself when it comes to Childe. He smiles to himself.
He points at the pair of chopsticks. The perfect length (he’s sure, he’s held Childe’s hands enough times to know), the perfect color (he’s sure, he’s stared at Childe enough to know), and the perfect design (he’s sure, he’s so sure that he feels his heart pound at what Childe will say). He points, and asks if he can buy them.
Even now, anxiety curls over his heart like a clawed hand.
What should I say? Should I tell him that I want him to tell me every anxiety or worrisome thought he has? Should I say that I want to hold him before every math test, even when we’re in college? Should I tell him that I'll be happy to accompany him with every trial and tribulation he has? No… that’s not quite it…
Zhongli leaves, a pair of chopsticks in his pocket, and his heart blooms at the thought of Childe’s smile.
Ah, I remember now. He wanted me to fight him, didn’t he?