Chapter Text
falling in love with sam was easy.
it only took a smile, a hug, and a simple, "hey. how's it going, buck?" prior to their first mission together for bucky to confirm what he'd felt the moment they were introduced.
it was all the stuff that came with it—the lingering stares, the yearning to touch and kiss and hold—that bucky struggled with, unable to shake the fluttering in his stomach whenever sam did so much as glance in his direction.
and as the days turned into weeks and then eventually years, those feelings only grew—unruly and deeply rooted feelings that overran bucky's heart until he could no longer keep them to himself.
but how could he possibly tell sam how much he loved him? how could he explain all the ways in which sam inspired him to do better and be better? how, before him, bucky wandered aimlessly, searching for something he was certain no longer existed, and yet somehow ended up finding in the comfort of sam's presence—home.
he could never bring himself to say it out loud—not yet at least—so he wrote it instead.
bucky wrote about the moment they met. the way sam's smile lit up his entire world. he wrote about the moments that were lost to them. quiet moments when they were alone, and they spoke in their shared language of silence, hands searching and finding each other in the darkness without a word being exchanged. it was in those moments, he wrote, he should have pulled sam close and told him what he was too afraid to say for far too long; what he was going to say now, on paper.
he spent all night writing and rewriting and scratching out entire sections before balling up the pieces of paper and starting again. by the time he finished, it was already the morning he was due to leave delacroix. and so, with the little amount of courage he was able to muster up, bucky folded the pieces of paper and slipped them into sam's hand after they hugged and parted ways.
bucky tried to ignore the sounds the paper made as sam unraveled the letter. he tried to pick up the pace of his walking, his legs almost giving out when he heard sam call his name only a couple of seconds later. bucky was tempted to turn around but fear kept him trudging forward, a heaviness weighing on his chest that all but disappeared the moment sam caught up with him and pulled him into his arms for a kiss.
it took a moment for bucky's head to catch up with the rest of him, his heart and hands and lips already worked into a frenzy as his bag fell to the ground and all of his senses filled with sam. the sweet smell of his clothes, the gentleness of his fingers tangled in his hair, the heat of his lips on his neck and jaw trailing back up to find his lips again.
and amidst all of bucky’s muddled thoughts, sam, just like he’d done all those years ago, stunned him into a lovestruck silence with just five words.
"i love you too, bucky."