Chapter Text
Matteo had made a decision. He was going to tell his friends about David. If he had a choice not to, he would probably choose not to tell them, but his friends had noticed something odd about Matteo over the last few days. Jonas was worried about him, he had to tell him.
While fiddling with one of the pillows that were laying on the couch Matteo mindlessly scrolled through his phone. A notification buzzed through the silence of the room, he opened WhatsApp, to find what had been the reason for the notification. Matteo opened the ok. cool. group chat just to find that Carlos had written a message. He wanted to know where they were going on Friday. Oh right, Friday. Matteo had already forgotten about his promise to Jonas. Soon after that Jonas answered Carlos in the group chat.
Jonas: I think we can stay at Matteo’s. Right, Matteo?
Carlos: Normal!!
Abdi: Who brings the beer?
And just like that, it was decided. Matteo didn’t have much of a say in it, but when did he ever? Not very often.
After sorting out a few things like, Matteo did not have to get the alcohol since they were going to his place, he closed his phone. The click that followed echoed through the living room and left an emptiness that made Matteo freeze. He was just sitting there. Sitting on the couch feeling the waves crash over him. He was being pulled away from the land, with every wave that bore through him he was drawn a bit further from the shore. The worst part was that he wasn’t even swimming. He didn’t scream for help, he didn’t move his body to get closer to everything else. He just let the waves crash over him.
He had almost gotten used to the feeling, mostly because nowadays he seemed very open to this feeling. Almost everything made him feel like he was drowning, his mom, his grades, but especially… David. Matteo knew he was overreacting. It wasn’t so bad. He had only met another guy, a guy whose hair he wanted to touch just as bad as he had earlier wanted to touch Jonas’. In some way, Matteo had found a way to get around the fact that this was who he was. He had told everyone else, but he himself still hadn’t known. He did now though.
So that’s why he felt like telling his friends about David would be like really coming out. Last time he had been forced to clarify a rumor, and he wasn’t even sure if the clarification was completely sincere, he only had one feeling to build upon and the feeling he felt for Jonas wasn’t something he could even imagine telling him. There was a big chance that he already knew, but talking about it would change things and Matteo wasn't so very fond of change, he had realized.
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It had been two days. Matteo was sitting on the same couch but with company this time. He was fidgeting with his phone with half closed ears not fully listening to the other boys conversation. He was not fully sober. His head was feeling a bit fuzzy, but he was still going to do this. Matteo focused on the conversation and found the conversation dying out into nothing. This was his shot. Matteo chugged the last content of the bottle in his hand and looked at his friends like he wanted to say something. He took a deep breath before he begun.
“So y’know…” Matteo wasn’t prepared for his voice to come out as shaky and weak as it did, but this was what he had to work with. His friends sat in silence waiting for him to continue.
“Um, I was thinking about inviting someone to the party next week.” Matteo started, he tapped his beer bottle in awaiting a response. When he didn’t get one he stared to make out another sentence to push the topic forwards. It was weird though, he regretted choosing this was of telling them. Now he would have to actually invite David, and how the heck would he do that. HE had literally had one conversation with him and knew absolutely nothing about him, expect from his name and his coffee schedule (his ‘drawing at a coffee shop’ schedule). No, there was now way he could get a chance to invite him. Even if he did get a chance to invite him he would never find the courage to actually invite him, certainly not after only one conversation. This wasn’t a good idea, so he just mumbled a slow “Yeah, nevermind.” Matteo dropped his gaze from the embarrassment. He could pretty much feel his friends confused looks cracking him open. His gutfeelining was telling him he had to explain himself, but this time he wasn’t going to say a thing. So he just sat there, feeling his body curl into a black hole. He wanted nothing more than to disappear in the black hole created inside of him.
“Is it that guy from work?” Jonad broke the silence. He was met with a confused and disoriented look on his eyes. “That guy who hangs out at the coffee shop?” Jonas explained. Matteo understood who he was talking about, ofcourse, David what really the only thing on his mind. What he didn’t quite understand was how aware of Matteo’s liking towards - in his head Beanie Boy - Jonas was. After processing the thought for no longer than a split second he realized that he probably wasn’t too low key. Shit. Did David think he was an idiot? Maybe that’s why he had wanted to talk to him, to make fun of him?
As an answer to Jonas question he very slowly nodded his head. Carlos facial expression showed a lot of relief when Matteo had confirmed it. Both Abdi and Carlos looked like they had been holding their breaths, waiting for Matteo to say something.
“Uh, I think I might like him. Or something like that.” Matteo continued to mumble. He still looked a bit nervous.
“Dude, we know.” Jonas said with a smug smile. “You guys are cute, does he have a name?” Jonas always had a way to make situations so chill. Matteo didn’t know how he did it.
“Yeah. David, but I don’t think I’m going to speak to him again…” Matteo still talked with a bit of a shakiness.
“Just ask him sometime. Judging from the way he looks at you he won’t say no,” Jonas let out a small laugh after his last sentence. Matteo just looked at him strangely, Jonas read him well and answered “I’m not kidding, man.” To reassure Matteo that the interest seemed to be mutual.
Matteo looked at the other boys sitting next to him to see where they were standing in all of this. Before even asking them he could see on their faces that they agreed with Jonas. Well, it was settled then. Matteo was going to actually do this. He let out a breath. He hadn’t noticed holding it in, but when he exhaled he felt like a small portion of the water that was drowning him was being let out of him.